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wlhotwife

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wlhotwife last won the day on June 7 2008

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About wlhotwife

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  • Birthday 09/14/1959

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  • Relationship Status
    couple
  • Location
    Oregon

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  1. We went to our first house party last weekend and had discussed this issue in the car on the way there. We concluded that we were open to the idea of playing seperately, as long as neither of us was left alone. As it turned out, it was a moot point. The play space was a big open area with several mattresses and chairs. Everybody was playing with each other, and it was a very fluid kind of scene. It turned out we each played with nearly all of the guests at one point or another, sometimes together, but usually seperate. But since we were in the same room, it didn't seem like we were seperate. Our best lifestyle experience to date!
  2. We are actually dealing with this issue in reverse right now. I have met a man online who says he used to be in porn films and an escort for several years. Who knows if he's telling the truth? Judging from the size of his equipment :drool:and the knowledge he has about the business I tend to believe him. We have emailed back and forth a bit, and he seems pretty straightforward and honest. He's been out of the business for several years, but still tests regularly for STDs and claims he's clean. Our main hangup is the STD issue. We always use condoms while playing, but there is still a risk. I know we never know how many partners any of our potential playmates have been exposed to, but we have to catergorize this guy as high risk. I'd hate to pass up an opportunity to play with him over this issue, because he is pretty yummy looking, but it is certainly a red flag. It's also a bit intimidating, knowing that he is soooo much more experienced than we are, sexually. (admittedly, that is somewhat exciting too!) Mr. WL and I have agreed that we will meet him in person, and then decide, based on how comfortable we feel at that point.
  3. Pre-lifestyle, we were in Las Vegas with two other couples. After several drinks, the other 2 ladies and I got up to dance, and I got a little dirty with a beautiful African American man who was dancing by himself near the front of the dance floor. Another woman asked my friend if we were swingers. When she said, "no" the other lady asked if we were interested. We laughed about it the rest of the trip. Now I realize there was probably a LS convention in town at the time! Sigh, had we only known what fun we could have had. We've never approached another vanilla couple since we've been involved in the LS, but I do have a male friend that I flirt with and would totally love it if he ever took me up on any of my naughty propositions. Unfortunately, he knows my hubby and sees me as someone "safe" to flirt with, because I'm so happily married!
  4. Wow, Loki...what a can of worms. I think the only way you can have "fairness and equality" in an open marriage is if you look at it over the long term. There are going to be situations like this where one of you is getting more action than the other for some period of time. Trying to keep the score even over the short term is going to prove to be a hassle and a source of conflict between you two. Could you look at the issue in a different way perhaps, appreciating that your wife is growing and exploring her sexuality, and knowing that things may never be completely even as far as number of partners, experiences, etc.? If that is making a positive impact on your relationship, then who cares about the numbers and timing?
  5. So if you don't feel the chemistry when the kissing is happening what do you say? I guess I'm just too shy/new to this to speak up once any sort of intimacy has started, especially if all 4 people are hitting it off nicely. I would rather put up with an evening of less than spectacular sex than be the "party pooper". This is an issue that I have a lot of trouble with, and it has even given me reason to think that maybe I'm not cut out for this lifestyle. How do you find the courage to put on the brakes once the train has started rolling down the tracks?
  6. I was driving in the car the other day with my 18 yr old daughter and the new Carrie Underwood song "Last Name" came on. (She meets, hooks up and marries someone without knowing his last name) My daughter made the comment, "Can you imagine hooking up with someone, if you don't even know their last name?" All of a sudden, it hit me that I don't know the last name of the couple we had sex with last week. Of course, I answered to my daughter, "Yeah, what a slut!"
  7. As newbies who have no experience yet, this is an issue that we struggle with. We went into this with the intention of getting to know people well enough to feel comfortable being intimate with them. We are finding that this is somewhat of a gray area, because developing friendships take time, something we have precious little of. I still can't imagine having sex with a total stranger, but I'm beginning to think that it's not necessary to be considered "friends", before swapping. Certainly, like others have said, I would want it to be someone I could be friends with, if a relationship develops.
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