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two_for_fun1027

Registered
  • Content Count

    22
  • Joined

Community Reputation

15 Good

About two_for_fun1027

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 10/27/1981

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Washington
  • Interests
    Photography, Movies
  • Swinging Experience
    Less than 6 months

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    two_for_fun1027
  1. Too new to be burned out. But, it's obvious these guys are skanky and trashy. What you're describing is abuse, honestly. Anyone that would put their children in a potentially sexual environment needs help. I mean that sincerely - they're outta control. This situation has too many variables, if you think about it... Potential mental and emotional damage of children, #1. I'm glad you're not like them. And, there's tons of us that aren't either. Don't give up hope - we're out there. Chin up! We're all here for ya
  2. See, you're thoughtful. You're not selfish And, your response is very helpful. I'm not one to run out the door, at all. I enjoy getting to know couples and becoming friends to an extent. I can assure you that we'll never put ourselves in that situation again. It was only drug out as long as it was because I was trying to figure out what the hell was going on - I was trying to be fair. I only bailed when it became obvious what her intentions were, from my own observation, my husband's lips and another couple who had known them for almost a year's input. When I found out that I wasn't the only couple that this had happened to, and when her jealously popped up (one night she grilled me about how much I had been talking to this other couple), and I said - probably every other day, online. She told me to look her in the eyes and tell her that. To me, that was unacceptable. I can handle jealousy to a point, and it wasn't the first time she'd done it. So, I said to her "You introduced us, I wasn't aware that we weren't allowed to talk". Then, she said "You can talk to whoever you want, honey"... I got up, went to sit next to my husband and she turned to her husband and told him to pack up, they were leaving. (I know this is backwards, sorry) I had found out that she lied to me. We made a date with her and her husband and she asked if she could bring along some friends. We found out that they were also swingers before she decided to tell us. When they came to our house - she mentioned it nonchalantly when I asked her how she knew them - "Oh, they're swingers too". We're new, she never asked us if we interested in meeting them. We all go out to dinner. They other couple is nice, but visibly uncomfortable. We all come back to our house, and she decides she wants to play a strip game. At this point, I was mentally freaking out. Three couples? Holy crap! I'm still getting used to one! She managed to drag the game out until her husband and the other gentleman were in their boxers. My husband was still fully clothed. So were the women. She told me later that she told this other couple that nothing would happen, and she just wanted to get the guys naked to tease them... This new couple ended up being very cool people, and we started talking (the one she questioned me on) and they told me that she'd never told him that nothing was going to happen, AND that they were told that she wanted to introduce us to another swinging couple. Her husband even verified it later that night with "I wondered if it would be too much too soon for you guys"... So, I definitely own my fault in the matter. It should have never gone as far as it did, but man - what a mindfuck But, my husband and I have worked through it, we both realize and accept our own participation because we facilitated her behavior when we should have been sticking together. But, that was the game with her - divide and conquer. Never again, that's all I can say Wiser for the wear. And, stronger than ever.
  3. I absolutely agree with this "At the core of all of this is security, trust and confidence". Firstly, her side of the story is inconsequential. I'm not asking how to handle the situation with her. It's been handled. In a manner that suits my marriage best. And, I agree with this : "If you believe that another woman is after your man do you really care if it is about cuddling or kissing or toe sucking or ass tickling? Is there is really any form of interaction that you will be ok with at that point?" Thank you for your input. I do appreciate it. We are brand new - and I guarantee, if I had found this board before we started swinging - the situation would have never gotten off the ground. But, that's not my point. My point was, we are new - and we're just trying to see how everyone else does it and decide what's best for us I've replied to almost every post on here, so I'm not going to repeat what I've learned. But, I've learned valuable things from most of the answers - so, in earnest - thank you.
  4. Thank you very much for your input. It's fascinating to me that there are some people who love to cuddle with their swap partners, but - then there are some, such as yourself, that reserve that as intimacy. Some like intimacy with the couple - some don't. The most important thing I was searching for was examples. To me, it's just like putting a puzzle together. The ultimate goal is reached by placing the right pieces in the right spots. And, sometimes you need to look at the picture on the box:) That's all I'm doing, looking at the picture on the box. Seeing how it's done, gathering input and knowledge from experience. I'm realizing that each experience is unique unto it's own, but I admire they way you two stick together - that's how it's going to be for us. He and I have both been reading the posts, and it's been very helpful. So, spank you - spank you very much (cheesy, I know - I love Ace Ventura)
  5. Yes, actually - I leave my shoes at the side of the bed. I hop out of bed, into my shoes and run out the door, sheet wrapped around me and husband in hand. Simply, I can't answer those questions for you. To me, none of those things seem like cuddling. And, I think from all of the responses here - everyone has their own opinion. Which, is the most important thing I learned here. I'd like to thank you for your input, but I can't say that it's been helpful one way or the other. But, I wish you and your partner the best, and happy swinging
  6. Thank you I've read some of your other posts, and you seem to give very humble and earnest advice, so kudos to you. We're at that point now. Where we both know that if it doesn't work for one, it's not working for either. And, this board has helped tremendously in answering those little questions. And, even some big ones. So, thanks - once again. I appreciate it!
  7. Thanks so much You answered in exactly the fashion I was hoping for - with the way you do things. For me, it's very helpful to see how others do it. Anytime I learn something new, whether it's welding, shooting a gun, drawing or whatever - I always watch the other person to see how they do it - that way I can gather the information I need to do it correctly, and the way that suits me (or in this case, us) best. Thanks for your objectivity and honesty.
  8. Thank you very much for your post. I understand what you're saying. I enjoy swinging, very much. Both of us do, my husband and I. We're currently in contact with an amazing couple - sexy, smart, and thoughtful. And, I'm really looking forward to a new, better experience. We're meeting them this Friday - we've been chatting for a couple weeks, and they're much like us. I'm not stuck on the cuddling thing so much anymore, and every single post has helped me in some way. We both definitely have a better understanding of ourselves and what swinging is and how it fits into our lives. So, once again thank you for your post, and thanks to everyone else who has stopped by to put in their two cents. Best of luck to you all!
  9. Such a wealth of information. And, a little cynicism and sarcasm - which doesn't really help me at all. I've realized that my anti-cuddling feelings are specific to the female in our last couple. And, I have good reasons for mistrusting her. She gaslighted me the entire way through, until I found out that she tried to get my husband to have sex with her without a condom and she told him that she had feelings for him. The only two rules she and I had really discussed, she broke - knowingly. So... I'm just trying to find out what everyone else does. And, I've realized that each couple will have to be considered solely for themselves. You just can't make some across the board rules. Except the "use protection!" and "no feelings" bullshit (For us, we're not looking for polyamory). Thank you all very much for your input. I sincerely appreciate it.
  10. Thanks for your input I agree - my husband is more than aware of what bothers me now. And, in hindsight - the cuddling bothered me because it was just a part of a bigger problem.
  11. Multi-level question - ready? We're new to swinging - have only swapped with one couple. After figuring out that she was after my husband and Gaslighting me - we cut it off. During the time prior to my realization - she was obsessed with cuddling. And, used my dislike of it to justify her need to cuddle with my husband. Do you guys have any cuddling rules? And, if you do separate room swap - is there a time limit - or meet back up time, or what? One of the big problems I had is that her husband and I would do our thing, then come out to the living room - and anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half later - they'd come out. One time, it was because they had a second go. Now, I know why I had issues with this - it was just one part of a multi-layer mindf^&* on her part. But, what's normal for you guys? I'm not even saying there's an absolute right way - I guess I'd just like ideas so we can make better rules for ourselves. Thanks in advance!
  12. I am so happy I found this thread! My husband and I just started swinging, and the female from the other couple would say how much she wanted me to be honest with her - but, then when I did mention things that bothered me, she'd get defensive and cry and say I misunderstood - and, that I must not really know her. What I concluded is that she was telling my husband how much she cared for me to get closer to him - so, every time she did something that bothered me - he came back with "But, she really cares about you. She tells me all the time. It must be a mistake". Finally, she introduced me to another couple she'd been with (without asking me if I wanted to meet another swinging couple) after talking to them - I found out that she did the same thing with them. But, they had better control over it because they'd been swinging for a while and recognized her "type" immediately. After filling in the blanks and verifying her lies and confronting my husband (She'd been telling him "Don't tell her I said "fill in the blank", it'd hurt her feelings and I really don't want that) and getting the truth from him - I broke all contact with her. And, after reading this - I understand perfectly what she was about, and that IT HAS A NAME! Thankfully, we realized it in time and saved our marriage. I had just been calling it "a mind fuck" - now I know it was Gaslighting... Wow - thanks so much!
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