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suite91

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15 Good

About suite91

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 04/05/1974

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Toronto
  1. Count me as one who loves to watch his wife with another man. I have no idea what about it is so captivating for me. All of my fantasies revolve around my wife being pleasured my someone. I still enjoy my time with other women but if it were over tomorrow I wouldn't miss it.
  2. Oh I'm with LM here! I have no patience when I've decided to leave and waiting on friends would quickly escalate to exactly the situation described by the OP.
  3. Doc, I gotta say, I usually shy away from the marathon posts but yours kept me interested the whole time. Nice job. Your story is a lot like ours in some ways so I can relate. Most, and certainly the best of our swinging has been with close friends. It started with my best friend when we were 19/20 and today most but not all our play friends are close friends. To answer your specific questions: 1. I'm not sure of the statistics on this but for us starting with someone you know and trust was easiest and worked out well. 2. I don't think you've done anything wrong. 3. Our experiences with close friends have been excellent, but there is one glaring example in our history where thing went badly, not because of the sex (the friendship dissolved over other issues) but if we had it to do over we wouldn't have played with her. Many people will tell you it's a bad idea to play with friends. That there are plenty of 'real' swingers out there who know the game and play by it's rules. That the personal and emotional connection of friendship can needlessly complicate things when it's just suppose to be about sex. They are right of course, but for us it's a hazard we're willing to overcome. 4. My interpretation is that L is giving you an out. A legitimate excuse not to continue in case you or your wife have regrets. Based on what you've told us I don't think she's having any remorse (except maybe rushing) but she might think you do. 5. Glad to hear you're on the same page. I tend to let the women chat about it, but it should be pretty easy to say 'That was fun!' and message would be received. 6. DAMN! And we were doing so well! THIS is a problem. A major one. If there is instability or stress on thier marriage, particularly surrounding sex!, then swinging will make it worse not better and you'll be in the middle of it. This revelation is a deal breaker I'm afraid. You cannot continue with them unless they (and you) are solid - and how would you know? Doc, you're right about swinging making you stronger as a couple. It has for us. The key is a strong relationship and the secret to a strong relationship (in my humble opinion) is Honesty - which includes not keeping secrets - Communication, and Respect. Good luck and sorry for the bad news at the end!
  4. Really? I don't want to derail the thread but mine was so easy. Sorry to hear yours wasn't.
  5. This is how we feel. ^ If the condom breaks (which has happened to us), pregnancy isn't a concern. Mrs. Suite and I are both "surgically safe" (another popular catch phrase) and though it's not on our profile, when we meet people it's something we share. It's not on our profile for exactly the reason you raise ~ there is a stigma, I believe, that assumes that people who advertise that they are surgically safe are somehow less concerned about condom use and the spread of STD's and are therefor passed over as perspective partners.
  6. Three couples - our friends and their friends - together for the first time at a hotel party. The chemistry was instantaneous and electric. A lot of the lifestyle "To Do's" got checked off that night.
  7. My wife is 33 and I'm 34. We've been together since high school and married for 5 years. We had our first MFM threesome when I was 19. We fooled around with friends a bit (as a couple) for a few years after that ('til kids). Only discovered "The Lifestyle" a few years ago (3-4?) and we're having a great time!
  8. There are valid arguments on both sides of the stranger/friend debate. Ultimately it will come down to what you're both comfortable with (and what that is may change over time). My two cents is that swinging with an "unknown" guy is no more dangerous than dating the same guy in the vanilla world. For our part we've had no luck with anonymous single guys (they sometimes get cold feet too) and a tough time recruiting casual acquaintances - they love the idea of banging my wife 'til she tells them she's swinging not cheating and that I'll know what goes on between them. Somehow that scares them off, it doesn't make any sense to me . We started in our teens with my best friend, long before we knew anything about "The Lifestyle". It was a great way FOR US to start because, as you mentioned, I trusted him which made everything much easier from a jealousy standpoint. As for the peeks and valleys of her interest in a MFM, I can only suggest that you keep the fantasy going by talking about it, especially in the bedroom! Good luck!
  9. OK I'm gonna pretend this was your opening post and move forward. As a couple who play regularly with "non-swingers", and by that I mean people who aren't really aware of or never considered themselves swingers, I know exactly where you are coming from. You've mentioned a few candidates and none sound like prudes . I particularly liked the quote you posted about coercion vs. enticing. For your endeavor to be a success you need to be confident that your perspective partner(s) are at least open to to being enticed. How do you go about it? If I knew that I'd be gettin' it like Hugh Hefner ! In our case, it is generally my wife who makes the first move. This has been the case with swingers and non-swingers. She will flirt (to say the least ) with the female half (if a couple) and see how she reacts. If things are moving forward at some point we flat out tell the woman/couple what we are into and take things from there. Now the big difference here is that my wife is Bi and is generally just as attracted to the woman as I am! I gather this is not the case for you so I'm not sure what to advise. If your wife does the seducing, but isn't really genuine about it then that could spoil things (call it false advertising). So. For the specific cases you've mentioned: The Waitress: From what you've told us this would be my choice. You've got a rapport with her. I'm assuming you've all flirted with one another. Invite her for an after work cocktail in the tub, sans swimsuits. No pressure. Just flirting and conversation over drinks. See where it goes. The Stripper: This one makes me nervous. I know that many strippers are sane, well adjusted people, making a living with what they've been given but many are also nut jobs with immense amounts of baggage. You are in a better position to judge this particular woman, but I'd just steer clear. The Married Mom: Umm, maybe? On one side it sounds like she'd understand what you were looking for and be great to "break you in" but, on the other side, it sounds like she and her husband are looking for what you are looking for - FFM threesomes. They may (make that very likely) only play together, in which case going parking with her really means going parking with them. Maybe you'll be looking for this later but right now...? You should be asking her for advice!!! So I think I kinda went down the do/don't path a little there, sorry...I hope what I've said helps. Good Luck.
  10. We are hoping for some of your luck - the house next door is for sale! The one that looks down into our hot tub!!! *fingers crossed*
  11. I started taking Cialis after an embarrassing "cooperation" incident (or lack there of) and now take it regularly as insurance. I like it a lot and my friends seem to agree .
  12. We fall into this category and, until this thread got me thinking, I would have said that our swinging costs are nil. Most of our swinging is with a few 'regulars' and friends. We go to their place or they come to ours, depending on kids etc. J was a bartender and she got lots of attention that would sometimes lead to some after work fun. Sounds free right? Right until I factored in our hot tub. I would call it our #1 swinging accessory, . When I calculated initial costs (tub, electrical, new deck), chemicals, electricity and maintenance it came to about $200 - $250 a month! We do get a lot of enjoyment from it when it's just us so discount for that, but the main reason we got the tub is that two of the couples we swing with regularly have one and we found it to be a great way to get together. Get some naked, like minded people in close proximity and things get heated quickly.
  13. What do you like to masturbate to? I would say 95% of the time I imagine my wife involved with another man or men. I picture all sorts of possibilities! Are you a guy or a woman? I'm a guy. Yeah, I figure it is probably some kind of porn. But, what kind in particular? When it comes to porn I like amateur stuff, people's snapshots are my fav. I especially like play pictures. What is your fetish? Group/lingerie/anal/gay/boobs just a couple of examples. Creampies. MMF. Also, how do you masturbate? One hand, two? Thumb on top or bottom? Toys? Certain positions? Right hand. How long do you masturbate and would your SO be upset about that? It depends. Sometimes it's a quicky, often I make it last a while . My wife has no problem with it. Do you know what your SO masturbates to? Not specifically.
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