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pervgeeks

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About pervgeeks

  • Rank
    100 Posts Club
  • Birthday 02/18/1972

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  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Connecticut

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  1. Once or twice a month. Sometimes if things get really busy, we'll go two months.
  2. 1.) Bad spelling and grammar. Perfection not expected, but there's some really dumb people out there! 2.) People who do not read that we have IN BOLD that we only meet initially at parties and clubs. If there's a real life attraction, we're happy to put in some chat time and make a date, but we feel a few minutes of talking in person is much more telling in terms of chemistry than hours of chats and e-mails with people we've never met. 3.) Anyone who lies or misrepresents themselves.
  3. We try to make things very simple for people. We have children, but it is our second marriage, so we make plans on the Saturdays our exes have the kids. The oldest though is 17 and she can babysit on occasion, but she has a job and her own life, so that requires planning but we can sometimes use that if our available times are simple not workable for the other party. We have some friends that are ONLY available weekdays and we've been trying to get together with them again. We're now looking at February for a workable date lol. I think for those with young kids who have to get babysitters, the best and most considerate thing to do is plan in advance well with people to nail down a specific date, tell them you have to get a sitter, and then once that's lined up, confirm it again. It's rude to expect people to sit around in limbo forever when other plans could be made.
  4. I think it's up to the hosts in this situation, particularly the female half. That's why sometimes it's fun on the rare times we have people over. I'm not a shy woman. I'd also add that my husband's biggest complaint often is how slow it can take to get things going. While I work nights and have a natural late night circadian rhythm going on (and can get pretty chatty), he "turns into a pumkin" by midnight. We've found that when we're on their turf or neutral turf, it seems to better with couples with at least our level of experience or more. We never like to be "pushy", but sometimes you just want to yell, "HEY, are we going to fish or cut bait here!?"
  5. I'm not closed to it as a bi woman, but my husband is strait, so it's not an interest for him or us as a couple. If he were into it, his pleasure would turn me on, but since it's not his thing, I really don't think much about it. If we were at a party or club and two guys were making out (or more), it wouldn't turn me on, but it wouldn't bother me either.
  6. I disagree. I think it takes a lot of confidence to risk the possible rejection that is there for everyone. I think there's a certain amount of validation one can get from it from playing with others, but it's been our experience that swingers tend to inherently be more confident and secure types.
  7. He's not really into watching me with another man. He's not jealous, he enjoys knowing I'm being pleasured, but it's not a particular turn-on or turn-off. He likes to enjoy himself, I like to enjoy myself, and we just happen to enjoy doing it together.
  8. That's why we just say to everyone we do not know, "We only meet new people at parties or clubs." If we feel the couple is a potential match, we tell them the next event we'll be at. If we don't, we'll say, "We don't think we'd be a match." The absolute RARE exceptions are people we know to be friends of friends. The thing is though that we've found that the others (like us) who communicate and are serious about this lifestyle are so pleasantly pleased with our communication skills (and hopefully our sexual skills ) that if there's a mutual physical attraction, we simply don't have as much time to attend the bigger events because we're enjoying those wonderful private evenings. We do get to a bigger party or club every 3 months or so though.
  9. What really pisses people off who want to speak negatively about swingers, BDSMers, gay people, or anyone who differs from their strait, vanilla-ness is, "I don't really think about what other people do much. We're so happy with our own sex life and it's really none of my business." It puts them on the defensive and points out the truth: it's insecurity that makes people disparage differences, nothing more.
  10. One of our most fun times was a DP with my husband and a woman with a strap-on. I've never "strapped it on" (it's not my thing as I'd rather go down and use my tongue and a dildo), but yeah, it's fun. I just got a double dildo I'm dying to use with someone! The first woman I was with years ago had one, but it's been quite awhile since I've shared that. As for my husband, he's not so into the "just watching" thing (not that it isn't turn-on and excellent foreplay for him).
  11. Exactly, putting rules that are inherently unnatural to just basic sexuality just don't feel right for us. We don't mind softswapping, but no kissing is a dealbreaker.
  12. From the sound of your issue, it's not a swinging type of problem. Is your wife willing to go to her doctor and perhaps do something to adjust her hormone levels? If it's physiological, things can be done. If it's emotional or some combination thereof, is she willing to go to couples counseling or sex therapy? In all honesty, what would be in this for another couple? My husband brings his wife to the table (me) who's sexually enthusiastic and fun (whom we are both happily in love) and in return we get.... Marital discord and no female partner in return. Swinging is a couples thing for secure, in love couples to enhance our sex lives (and perhaps meet some new, like-minded friends in the process). It's not a gift to the the guys out there who "aren't getting any". We empathize with your problem as we were both in prior marriages with people we weren't sexually compatible with, but step outside of your issue a little and understand that what you are seeking isn't what the lifestyle is about.
  13. My husband has amazing control. We were at a house party once and he had sex with three of us (not quickies) before he was done. Part of it may be the desensitizing aspect of condoms. Frequently because of that (though not always), he wants to finish with me. He says, "As long as I don't drink too much, I'm fine for a very long time." No Viagra or Cialis, just him. I'm a very lucky woman. He's such a laid back, respectful, almost innocent looking guy, that most people wouldn't guess that about him. Definitely NOT the type to consider himself a big stud or brag about his skills (I'm his biggest cheerleader though!). In my experience, the kind of guys who do brag about themselves are the guys who have trouble lasting and sometimes even working at all.
  14. I was once told by an ex that I was "a geek trapped in the body of a cheerleader". I've had a few kids and ever so slightly squishier since that statement, but still true- blonde, big boobs, and often a bit perky, BUT my interests are of a more intellectual bent as is my taste in men (and women), My husband is handsome in a very clean-cut put together way, very outgoing, but similar. We are geeks, but don't necessarily look the part. Needless to say, our niche can be challenging at best.
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