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GoNatural

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GoNatural last won the day on July 30 2017

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About GoNatural

  • Rank
    Swingers Board Addict
  • Birthday 02/28/1980

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Single Male
  • Location
    Austin, TX
  • Interests
    Environmentalism, Health & Fitness, Organic foods & products, nature, and reading.
  • Swinging Experience
    5 years

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  1. Bareback swinging or hookups are probably my biggest fetish, along with women being a bit of a size queen. I often return to this forum to share a link of the polls here on bareback sex.
  2. That's pretty much my comfort level: condoms when meeting out in the night life, but bareback (usually not for anal) with people that will sit down and talk about and share at least somewhat recent test results. MFM is my jam too, and I'm typically dating women that have a lot of sex partners while I don't have many others, if any. HPV is my bigger concern too, and mostly for women. It's the only sti that I've known people in my poly circles to catch. I knew a handful of people with HSV 2, but they had that from years earlier before non-monogamy. I'm about to get the HPV vaccine. I got part of the Hep B vaccine a few years ago, and need a follow up (good for those that that like to lick some ASS .( ; ).
  3. I've heard couples on swinger podcasts that met as each being singles in the lifestyle, but it is very rare, yes. I did meet a married couple that found each other on adultfriendfinder, each of them looking for casual sex and being open to group sex.
  4. To play the devil's advocate of the wise words you wrote there, "why would she choose on man over another when nobody is making her choose"...... 1. She may get tired of some of the complexity of maintaining two deeper relationships over time. Some guys are easier to do this with than others. 2. She might get tired of being very different in a mainstream society and find it easiest to quit going against the grain and just be mono again, or just swing since it is discreet and sometimes infrequent. I think this is why people that are eccentric in other years end up being the ones doing polyamory for the longest and are the most public. They are used to be "different", or they actually like being different. 3. Eventually, I see some people age out of polyamory, with a few notable exceptions of some of the founders of communities still being around. It's certainly not that there's an age limit, it's that the extra complexity is sometimes not worth it for people around the age of 70 and beyond. Of course there are some exceptions. I know a 63 year old woman who is new to poly and really getting her groove on! I guess this #3 is just a repeat of reason #1. 4. Something that is less common is that he new boyfriend will slowly ask her to leave her primary partner. New poly women will be greatly apposed to this. Some experienced ones too, but every now and then if the marriage is stressful, she will consider leaving her husband and polyamory, to be with the newer lover. I don't think the first new lover causes this, but I've seen it happen down the road. I often think the people that do poly or any 1 on 1 hotwifing long term, need to love the lifestyle and the freedom nearly as much as their spouse. That is extra incentive for them not to deviate from the original plan, and keep the primary relationship in tact.
  5. Yes, other people seemed to think the topic was about falling in love with someone new while swinging, while already having a long term relationship partner. As for your point though, Numex, I think the OP might mean specifically in the lifestyle, as in events, clubs, or being around swinger's parties. That's a bit different from the casual dating scene. I do like the topic of which rules might help stove love and polyamory from starting, if a couple does want 1 on 1 play dates with outside partners, but also does not want deep polyamory. My favorite is some middle ground, but it seems super rare to find other people that take that middle path and talk about it.
  6. @DM7708 It's a bummer that you're went through that tough time with that. How did it turn out? It's possible there was a misunderstanding. Also, some people have a hard time doing open non-monogamy. It's sort of like they are partially in denial. Maybe she could only do it in that almost secretive way at first? I must say, my ideal is what you and your partner had before this involvement of her, where I have a spouse that wants both MFM threesomes and to get with men 1 on 1 wherever she chooses. I hope things turned out well for you.
  7. Between 2002 and ~ 2013 I was a young buck for about 10 different couples. 6 of them wanted it bareback from the beginning and creampies were important. I was thrilled, because my first 2 couples were "condoms always" types. Of the 4 couples that wanted condoms, one of those changed by the 2nd play date and wanted it bareback. There's a few different surveys on here and one I recently saw on Kasidie that keep showing about the same stats. It's neat to see that on different years, and even on a different website, the stats come out pretty much the same. About 25% are condoms ALWAYS, on multiple surveys. (I've seen one at 35% and one at 45% that asked primarily males). About 12% are BAREBACK ONLY, or hit the road Jack.... The rest are in the middle being the type to use condoms if requested, or ~20% go bare after months of knowing someone, or..... a few go bare after a couple fucks with a condom first for a couple of weeks. The largest group with the most members is that flexible group that uses condoms situationally. I'd lean towards going bareaback with most couples, depending on how frequently she gets with new brand new guys and if testing is at least every 6 months. HPV is that pesky sleeper sti though. I'm getting vaccinated, and I hope most women will too.
  8. I think this is a very valuable thread to read over. I'm surprised it didn't get more attention. I'm a proponent of going bare most of the time (not in clubs, and not for anal.... hardly ever), but that damn HPV! I'm under 45 and will get the vaccine, but I've probably been exposed already having had vaginal intercourse with about 40 partners to date. I've known a couple of women in the poly community in a big city have HPV on their cervix (both cleared in a couple of years). They had the same boyfriend for a little while. He was bare with one of them, and used a condom with the other. Otherwise, in my years of non-monogamy, the moment someone has a symptom, partners are notified and and extra safety is taken till more info is given about the outbreak. Other than that HPV, I've rarely heard of a spread. It's been just individuals that have had HSV for years, and not passed it on. I had a ureaplasma infection recently. I think I caught it receiving oral. That's one that is rarely tested for in the US, and isn't always considered an sti, sort of like a yeast infection isn't. Ureaplasma is on us already, but a person with high levels can pass that on as an infection. Like, tag..... you're it.......
  9. To me, this is a super common fantasy. Usually, the husband is just as curious as the wife. It's definitely a fantasy driven by curiosity, and also wanting to give those novelty things as a gift to your spouse. As other pointed out though, there's lots of variables that can affect whether her first time with a really well hung guy goes well. It often does, but..... it's not super rare that it is a flop...... or mediocre. I say try it at least 3 times and with other hung guys, to be sure! The real ones like that aren't always easy to find though, so..... it can take a while. That's all part of the journey though right? Maybe it's best that the big highlights don't happen all in one week? Having varied luck in swinging makes the good luck even that much more awesome!
  10. I think kissing can be very intimate, yes. I think vaginal is more intimate than oral though, especially bareback.
  11. I feel the same way about cumming on a woman's face. I've never found that interesting, and think it's learned from porn too. I also never had an urge to pull out and cum on her body. Other than with my first girlfriend back in the day, if we're going bare that means I can cum in her pussy. That's my favorite way to cum. When it comes to swinging, to me one of the most exciting things has been to meet up with a new couple that prefers it bareback from the very first play date. I remember my early days feeling almost surreal to be invited to their house, then to their bed in the master bedroom, and then to enter her bare. It can't be beat.
  12. Thanks for making this topic and the link to Dr. Lehmiller's work. I listen to him on various podcast interviews a lot talking about cuckolding. I have his book about the science of sexual fantasies, but I don't remember there being an easy to read table like the one at the link given here. Also @EastInWest , thanks for that link too! I came across that study in the past. I think it's saved on one of my older laptops. There's another university study in the US that surveyed asking about willingness or interest in various types of non-monogamy, meaning polyamory, just open, swinging, or one-sided open relationships. The willingness to try the various types ranged from 12% to 19% for women depending on if it which type of non-monogamy, if I remember correctly.
  13. Based on multiple polls here, and a survey I saw on Kasidie, it looks like the "we use condoms always" couples account for about 25%. On 3 or so different surveys, the amount that say "we never use condoms" looks to be about 12%. That's NEVER. The remaining ~ 60% are situational. Some of them being "most of the time", and some of them being "only when asked", or "once in a while if we feel we should", or "after we build trust we go bare", or "after we see test results we go bare". My own life experiences as a young buck (back 13+ years ago) for couples was that only 30% were "we always require condoms". 10% (or 1 couple) switched by the second play date. 60% wanted it bare on the 1st play date. I think my own experiences matches up with multiple different survey results quite well. The guy that posts on reddit from swingers help dot com says that 50% require condoms always, based on a survey at his website. I haven't seen how it was worded, but I have a hard time believing that. The absolutist of Always BARE or Always Condom are in the minority, while everyone else makes their decision for various reasons that vary from partner to partner, etc....
  14. My preference is for them to be less tight / not tight. My first two girlfriends were bigger down there. I got spoiled for that.
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