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SoFlaCp

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SoFlaCp last won the day on December 30 2009

SoFlaCp had the most liked content!

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85 Excellent

About SoFlaCp

  • Rank
    Active Contributor
  • Birthday 08/31/1967

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Palm Beaches, FL
  • Interests
    Ocean, Cars, Art
  • Swinging Experience
    1+ years

Swinger Info

  • SDC Username
    justsayin
  • Favorite Club(s)
    Trapeze
  1. My wife had her tubes tied at last C section. We considered but she is Oral and decided she did not want me to change anything. The prostate risk factored in. Has never been an issue and yes we do ask couples even though we always use Condoms. Every girl we've met has been "safe" through means other than my Condom. ...and yeah, I'm a wimp when it comes to procedures on my balls...so we have not had any compelling reason that would make us reconsider.
  2. I think you have answered your own questions and have decided you cannot trust when you do not understand. Suggest you be honest and talk with her - but from what I read you are not comfortable going forward.
  3. Well, there is no way anyone can answer any of your questions. Even you probably need time to figure out what you think...but sounds like you are speculating and setting conditions very early - not really healthy IMHO. Consider that she has been honest with you and you have strong feelings, apparently reciprocated. If that is not adequate, then suggest you do both of yourselves a a favor and stay friends. Swingers are just people, in many cases very secure people. We live and feel as deeply as anyone else - maybe more. We don't grade people based on sexual potential and swinging is one aspect of our lives. Don't feel threatened and give it a chance. If you keep thinking like you've outlined above...then you may miss out on a great chance. Who knows what the future may bring...
  4. We have been on since August 2010. We have used SDC as our primary, but for travel were also on LL. We dropped SLS as just too lousy for our area. Of these, Kasidie has the best layout but the membership in our area is thin. That said, we have met a few and it is picking up fast - particularly with folks visiting our area. We are giving it more time, and it is also good for travel. We will be dropping our LL membership - SDC and Kasidie will be the only 2 we use.
  5. Speak up! A frequent play partner of ours taught me this as she is not shy about calling for lube! My wife has also learned to speak up when needed and this generally means longer, extended playtimes for all. Both ladies get very wet easily, but condoms get dry. No more sore pussy the next morning, something we both appreciate . Lube, lots of lube
  6. Not required, but we like them for 2 reasons....1)we both enjoy the raw sex side of this and porn pics are fun 2)if the couple is real, they often will have pics to prove it and the pics can be a "truth in advertising" tool I think this varies by location and online site. For us, SDC and south Florida, this is pretty common. We will continue to refine our profile to have more flirty and fun pics, but we will always include action pics too. What can we say, we are exhibitionists and enjoy that aspect too! (wife is nodding )
  7. Yes, we would and do eat at Trap most times we go. We live quite close and go 1-2 times a month. The food really is good and it solves the challenge of my wife and friends needing 2 outfits...1 conservative to eat out with and 1 for the club. We honestly really enjoy the club and the food...and both articles (the New Times one that was referenced) were very complementary. Surprising, but swinging does seem to get more mainstream acceptance... Bon appetite!
  8. Funny, this has occasionally been an irritation for my wife and I when we go to Trap. We generally treat it as a date night and really enjoy dancing with each other. If a lady wants to join both of us, that would be welcomed...as would an attractive couple. But with single ladies it is an almost exclusive monopolization of my wife and we both find that rude. Thought we were the only ones who found this odd situation challengeattimes...mostguysback off to enjoy the show based on what we observe...
  9. We are full, have been since the first experience. No questions on our part - we've embraced the thrill and just have fun. We have had some soft, and it has been fun. But for both of us, we increasingly want to be with with couples / play that is totally open to the moment. We love spontaneity the rush / smiles that come from letting go. I (guy) find that if my partner is less than enthusiastic, I will lose interest. This has occured in a few soft situations because...well tracking rules and dealing with rationalization can put a damper on things (for us). It is also very confusing to understand the rules (we ask and respect - don't want to go where not wanted)...and then have couple talk and act as if rules are to be bent. I.e. "I want you to fuck me, etc.". Maybe just sex talk but still confusing. In the end, we acknowledge and respect that everyone has their own method and reasons for the lifestyle. But for us, Soft is huge wall that usually fits into our definition of "drama" . We will still try sometimes, but increasingly we just don't pursue a soft couple...and if contacted we make our preference clear. So...yeah, long winded way of saying we don't get soft swap. We also recently decided against newbies for the same reasons after a couple of odd experiences.
  10. Frustrating? That can happen but "Confusing" better describes the soft couples from our perspective. I also think it is something of a numbers game...meaning that you will meet all types of couples in the lifestyle and we have found that no one is what you'd expect or as you feel they have been described. This is just part of the lifestyle and life - getting to know folks. So, given limited time you need reduce the pool of swingers you "sample" using certain constraints - such as "soft" and "full". However, for us a VERY FEW soft couples have proven to be comfortable with all sexual aspects "...right up to their limits" and are enthusiastic / have fun. They also tend to be the ones that are certain of their limits and they are the most fun for us - and the ones we would (and have) most be willing to play with again. Fun is fun. This has proven to be the exception for us though... BUT - we really don't go seeking out soft and frequently rule out soft couples. After a number of experiences we find that "soft" frequently implies: indecision about the lifestyle; one side of the couple is more into this than the other; not comfortable with sexuality; marital troubles that will be worked out;one part of couple wants full, but other is not ready to share; etc. Before we are flamed on this -- this is just our opinion based on experience/encounters. Not saying all of is true in every case - and this can also apply to full swap couples. Just for us, we have found a higher incidence of "indecision" and drama, as well as confusing messages. Back to the numbers game... So - if someone is new and exploring and only comfortable with "soft" and is clear/sticks with their limits - that works. If someone is experienced and wants a lusty life and fully comfortable with sexuality - soft is also good. Our experience...both are somewhat more rare than you'd think. We were (and are) a full couple since day 1, it took us about 24 hours to decide no rules other than to try and see each other ("same room") - but that is because a big component is to see each other having sex. Guess we also bend our rules because in certain situations we have played in separate rooms...see? Labels and descriptions can be misleading and confusing
  11. Funny - we just turned down another couple for this exact same issue. A very nice looking lady was posted all over the private gallery and there was one grainy, shaded picture of her and a guy from chin up and that was it. Nice profile too. We have this scenario too frequently and have even thought of adding in a a very blunt and direct warning to our profile beyond what we already have (Face & body pictures of both, please. Clothed is fine...). We usually ask politely for pics of both, and if all we get is the same crappy "pic" or nothing - we decline. Seems unfair as pics can be a poor representation of folks, but this is one "rule of engagement (ROE)" we choose to stick with. We take it that they are not serious or honestly have something to hide - and we are not interested in finding out what that "secret" treasure may be
  12. In social settings, I am definitely the shy one, my wife is not. However, we are both new at this meeting others or "picking up" another couple. However, when we have gone to the local club - we have gone with the intent of simply having fun with each other and being totally open. We dance, we introduce ourselves, basically we just try to have fun with each other and treat others as potential friends - not playmates. If I think about them as playmates at first, I freeze up / get too nervous. But, 5-10 minutes into a conversation both couples visibly relax and just have fun. Usually at this point..."Houston, we have lift off!" If the couple isn't our cup of tea, we thank them for a nice conversation and go dancing. I'm still very nervous with the whole "meet-and-greet" or "lock-n-key" thing, but we both try. What helps me is my wife and I do this together...sort of shared conversations until the ice is broken...and the worse that can happen is spend more time with my wife which in my book is the BEST that can happen. Think of it like that - make it fun, not work - and attack your anxiety by simply being brave and it will get easier. Good luck!
  13. My wife and I run into this fairly frequently too. I am particular on the face, and also want to see smiles. Regardless of 'body' - for me the face has to be there, and same with my wife. If we ask and get face pics back that we are not interested in...we usually respond with a "Upon further reflection, we have decided not to pursue this inquiry. We wish you the best...." Keep it simple and we NEVER provide details on why we aren't interested. If the exchange has been nice and friendly, and they took the time to read our profiles - we may add that we think they are a very nice couple but we are not interested. We always respond unless they are rude and we always try to keep it friendly - after all you may run into them and they could be a great couple - just not one we/you want to play with.
  14. That wasn't the only error - but we are often amazed at how poorly couples manage the grammar and spelling in their emails. Now...if they had referenced Young Frankenstein....everyone knows it is EYE-gore with an "I" Igor: Dr. Frankenstein... Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: "Fronkensteen." Igor: You're putting me on. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No, it's pronounced "Fronkensteen." Igor: Do you also say "Froaderick"? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No... ”Frederick." Igor: Well, why isn't it "Froaderick Fronkensteen"? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: It isn't; it's "Frederick Fronkensteen." Igor: I see. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: You must be Igor. [He pronounces it ee-gor] Igor: No, it's pronounced "eye-gor." Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: But they told me it was "ee-gor." Igor: Well, they were wrong then, weren't they?
  15. Just received our strangest one to-date this evening. Complete stream of consciousness with no pause for breath, lots of drama already thrown in - and no indication they even know who they are contacting / have read profile. Always feel we should wish folks like this the best as they seem nervous or disturbed even in print...but no way would we ever want to meet and be cornered... They even threw in references to "egor and the bride of frankenstein..." - everyone should figure out how to work that into an intro
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