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Wanting to take next step with couple But don't want to sound needy/pushy

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Hi ya'll Hope this is the right place to post this.

We met a couple at a local swingers bar. We seemed to connect and they emailed us after they left the club saying that they wanted to get together. We replied positively to their mail but have not heard back. Ughh, I know, Newbie wanting things to happen now. I should practice patience. Should I send them another email suggesting dinner or drinks and let them know when we are available? Is that too pushy? I don't wan to come off as pushy.

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It depends a bit on the time interval. One member of each couple have sent each other encouraging emails. The next step is often a conversation with one's partner. That can take a few days. Bear in mind that progress will always be made at the pace of the slowest member of the 2+2. So if it has been 48 hours, patience. 10 days, maybe a follow-up is in order.

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What Fundamental Law said. That first email from the couple was kind of a placeholder, expressing interest clearly. Your response indicated your interest. In ten days or so, go ahead and send a note affirming your interest and maybe a few possible dates or practical stuff like "we need a few days notice to get a babysitter."

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I would check to see when they logged on last. We know couples that only log on every few days or have alternating schedules so they don't get a lot of time to come together to discuss emails. Give them some time. Just know that there are couples that won't respond even when they reach out first (yea, crazy) and there are people who don't take this too seriously or feel that since this is a hobby for them that they do not need to be courteous. You just have to wait to see what type of people they are and if they are not meeting your expectations then don't waste a lot of energy wondering the 'why's' and 'how comes' because some people are just flaky.

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It doesn't sound like you are coming across as needy or pushy at this point. You have sent them a message and the ball is in their court. Give them time to process and respond, but don't be concerned if they don't. If the situation feels right for them then great, but don't take it personal if you don't hear back, just move forward in another direction. :)

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WooHoo! We got telephone numbers today. I am like a kid in a candy store. :)

I am just so tingly right now. Yes, in all the right places.

Okay, time for reason to kick in. I will calm down. I will not act like a horny teenager (although, i feel like one)

Texted Hubby and he is happy too. " I told you they liked us. calm down you freak." Exact words to me. God I love that man.

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Glad to hear it all turned out ok:) Do stop back to tell us about how the "date" went:)

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Texted Hubby and he is happy too. " I told you they liked us. calm down you freak." Exact words to me. God I love that man.

 

He's eminently love-worthy, because that's pretty much the perfect answer. ;)

 

Good luck!

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Update

Well, we met up at our local off premise bar and had a good time dancing and talking. Afterwards we all went downtown and had a late,late dinner or early early breakfast. We had a great time just talking and getting to know each other better. I so wanted to kiss her (this is the female half writing) but was not sure how to proceed in that direction. They encouraged us to sign up for a hotel party. Which we did yesterday. So, I guess the ball is in their court or maybe they are going slow because of our newbieness and waiting to see what moves we make. They told us they are not bedhoppers and we don't want to be that either. hmmm, I won't push it and hopefully things will either move forward or they won't.

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sometimes when you want something to move ahead you need to break the ice. Just blurt it out and be honest, be willing to laugh about it. Something like "so, we're new and I have no idea how to do this so I'll just say it. I'm have a blast and I'd love to kiss you!"

 

Sometimes direct and honest works best :)

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sometimes when you want something to move ahead you need to break the ice. Just blurt it out and be honest, be willing to laugh about it. Something like "so, we're new and I have no idea how to do this so I'll just say it. I'm have a blast and I'd love to kiss you!"

 

Sometimes direct and honest works best :)

 

Oooooh, that sounds perfectly sexy!

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sometimes when you want something to move ahead you need to break the ice. Just blurt it out and be honest, be willing to laugh about it. Something like "so, we're new and I have no idea how to do this so I'll just say it. I'm have a blast and I'd love to kiss you!"

 

Sometimes direct and honest works best :)

 

We had this happen with a new swinging couple. We met for dinner, everything went great, and the girls went to do one of those joint bathroom trips that girls do. I noticed they were gone longer than typical, and found out later it was because as they left the bathroom, the other lady stopped Mrs cplnuswing and standing there in the hallway outside the bathroom said "So, I have no idea how this works, but we want to swap if you do too. What do we do now?"

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We had this happen with a new swinging couple. We met for dinner, everything went great, and the girls went to do one of those joint bathroom trips that girls do. I noticed they were gone longer than typical, and found out later it was because as they left the bathroom, the other lady stopped Mrs cplnuswing and standing there in the hallway outside the bathroom said "So, I have no idea how this works, but we want to swap if you do too. What do we do now?"

 

I LOVE this! Humor and honesty are the biggest aphrodisiacs for me. This approach would definitely work for me!

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Love it , thank you for the advice. We texted last night and hopefully we will get together again this weekend.

I am looking to being able to really relate to Katy Perry's song " I kissed a girl and I liked it."

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"Do y'all know any good 'ice breakers'?" asked Mr. Playmate.

 

"Kissing does it for me," replied Laura. "If you were to kiss me, we'd generate enough heat to melt any ice you may be feeling."

 

Alura

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