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Sweetdevil

Who is the seducer, the woman or man?

Who is typically the seducer in swinging situations (in your experience)  

466 members have voted

  1. 1. Who is typically the seducer in swinging situations (in your experience)

    • The Man
      117
    • The Woman
      218
    • Both
      144
    • Niether
      16


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I know that I can't answer that question because it's different for every case. I have been both the seducer and the seducee (tho I gotta admit I LOVE being the seducer). :kissface:

 

Maybe a better question may have been: Which do you enjoy being? The seducer, the seducee, both, or do you just go out it without any flirting, seducing or foreplay.

 

Just MHO.

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Originally posted by Sweetdevil:

In sexual situations who is the seducer?

 

The man.

 

The woman.

 

Both.

Everybody tells me if there would be a award for flirting, I would get it. I love to seduce, but I been a couple times on the other end too, and must say I loved it too. Gets my body ready for the ultimate  - willing-and able. Him is watching me write. and nodding his head lol

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I've changed my view on this question ever since I've begun associating with swingers. Not too long ago, I would have said 'Neither' in my case. There's just too much game playing, and it's frustrating.

 

Among swingers, everything is more upfront. Both men and women can try their hand at seduction, and no one has to be afraid of saying "No" or of having their feelings hurt.

 

Yes, there's a lot of game-playing among swingers, but in the swinging environment everyone knows the rules and can play along.

 

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Originally posted by ddrewd:

I've changed my view on this question ever since I've begun associating with swingers. Not too long ago, I would have said 'Neither' in my case. There's just too much game playing, and it's frustrating.

 

Among swingers, everything is more upfront. Both men and women can try their hand at seduction, and no one has to be afraid of saying "No" or of having their feelings hurt.

 

Yes, there's a lot of game-playing among swingers, but in the swinging environment everyone knows the rules and can play along.

 

I don't know that I would classify seducing and flirting as game playing within swingers. When someone speaks of game playing, I tend to think more along the lines as someone trying to mess up someone's head and in the context of swingers who are flirting/seducing...the only thing that is happening is a heightening of the sexual tension which will eventually lead to, hopefully, a little bit more satisfying copulation between the two or how many ever involved.

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Is not half the fun of this four play? the Game of Cat and Mouse. My thoughts of swinging would be like dating, Working up to a Point of which everyone is comfortable and can enjoy being with each other. The excitement of meeting another couple. getting to know them , Teasing and Being Teased. And moving on forward as everyone is comfortable with what is happening? We did have a bad experience. But for both of us a lot of the fun would be getting to the land of Oz. not just Oz itself.

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In most cases, it is neither or I guess you could say both. Most of our experiences were with friends & we found that starting with each other always got everyone in the mood.

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In our case the man, but in other couples we have met, most definitely the women. This has made it difficult for us to connect with anyone.

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In our experiences, the seducers have been female, since they've been the pace setters. And how better to control the pace than by leading from the front?

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Since this post was started, I've paid attentiona little more and have come to the conclusion that I adore being the seducer...it adds so much fun on my part! ::P: And as Jim says, I do it ssssooooooooooo good!!

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I think it depends on the couple and the situation. With some couples, the woman might be more comforable being the seducer, and in some the man. Also, depending on the person or people that are being seduced, it could be the man or the woman. I did however choose the woman in the poll because I do this that in the end, the woman has SO much power....lol.... :hahaha:::P::kissface:

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I love being seduced by another woman... so I try to seduce as often as I can... but I always seduce the woman... never the man... just not my preference. It is a huge turn on to have a woman flirt and play with me and my hubby!

 

:kissface:

 

Mrs WA

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Interesting poll. The answer, IMHO, is... it depends.

 

Online I would have to give the nod to the guys. In our experience its often the male that initiates contact or was responsible for putting the profile up in the first place.

 

Move into the real world of clubs and the whole dynamic shifts. Club swingers are like prides of lions.... the women do the hunting. And it is a wonderful thing....

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It actually depends on who is the horniest at the time, it is kind of a game of hide 'n seek ... who can start putting the moves on whom with out getting caught.

 

We also play 'games' to get things started. Depending on the game either one of us starts the seducing. It also is fun being seduced and being a tease about it!

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My experience is the women do all the work... but that is because they are more discriminating...

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Yes, woman are more discriminating, but that's not the reason why!

 

Remember, in the Lifestyle, it's ALL about the girls. ;-)

 

My experience is the women do all the work... but that is because they are more discriminating...

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When I was younger, it was usually the guy who was the seducer. (Or at least thought he was!)

These days, seems like the ladies initiate. That's probably especially true in a marraige.

Hubby

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I tend to be more the seducer with men and especially with other women. at least in swinging, in my real life past relationships tho I have been more go with the flow and often ended up in serious relationships with people because they kept pursuing me.

 

My husband is a lot more reserved and definitely needs seducing!

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Disco (the wife) does almost all the seducing... however there is one young lady we play with that really has the hots for Vyper (the husband)... when we play with her it's Vyper that does most of the seducing...

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I usually am first to test the water with the other husband. If he seems interested in the idea of swinging, my wife closes the deal with her flirting and teasing. If there is a reluctant wife, she also makes the other woman feel comfortable with the situation. I guess that it is a team effort.

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For us, my wife is the big game hunter. When she goes on the prowl, watch out!

 

I very rarely have to do anything but smile, though I love doing my fair share.

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In our house the wife (me) is the aggressive one! I like the thrill of the hunt....and I do tend to get a little bold (okay alot of bold!) he tends to be the more quiet and goes with the flow of things.

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My best guy-friend and I got in an argument about this a while ago. Apparently, women are evil-seductive creatures from his point of view. (Myself included) However, I think men are seducers and women are flirts. Flirting is a form of seduction, but it's different. It's playful and sweet. I picture seduction being a little dark and dangerous.

 

I can't remember ever seducing anyone in my entire life. I think you'd have to put out a lot of effort to do that.

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My guy (who has more swinging experience than me) said in almost all the playdates it was the women who got things going. My initial reaction was the guy but once I thought about it, since we've been swinging it does seem to be the woman who makes the first moves more often. When I was dating it was the opposite...this was an interesting poll for sure! This got me thinking about the empowerment of women in the lifestyle. All the boundaries and communication seem to make us more comfortable with doing what we want...ok enough musing...thanks for letting me put in my 2 cents!

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As a single female I am the aggressor. However, during play I prefer the other couple to be the aggressors, once we have gotten to know one another pretty well and feel safe with that.

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I would say that we both are, but he says that i am more of the seducer. I just like going for what ever I like. I have not seduced anyone in the life-style yet. :D I like guys with long wavy black hair, pretty eyes, and a sexy smile. I have not really found that in the lifestyle. So no one so far has made me want to go at them like a lion. When that day does come, believe me, I'll be all over him. (hopefully)

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My wife usually started the night, by getting naked, and going to the other man. That seamed to be the cue for everyone else.

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In our experience it has been the man who is the seducer. Halo is often a bit shy at first. Unless, of course, she is with someone she knows well. Then it is a different story. I am the aggressor in most situations. But I do enjoy when a woman decides she wants to seduce me. Then I know this is what she really wants. Hmm I guess that means we should have answered both. Just goes to show you.....think before you answer. LOL

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