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Semen sample/sperm count....Absent!!

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Back in December I had a vasectomy because we exhausted all other options for birth control and no longer wanted to use condoms after almost 20 years together and 10 years of marriage. The urologist told me to get my semen tested for sperm after 30 orgasms or around 12 weeks. Well, I was well over 30 orgasms after a few weeks but I was urged by the doctor to just be patient because sperm can get hung up at different points. Well, I wouldn't wait any longer, so Saturday morning I had an hour to kill before my first client. So I cranked out a massive load, dropped it off at the testing facility, and first thing Sunday morning I received the results.... "Absent"! I was thrilled and promptly made use of the news by spraying a healthy coating all over the interior and exterior of my wife's lady bits!

 

Not really sure my semen will be of any use when swinging as we'll use condoms for intercourse. But I figured this was the most appropriate place to share our joyous news!! :D

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So I'm considering the procedure. Any thoughts or recommendations on going about it? Do they put you under or is it local or what?

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So I'm considering the procedure. Any thoughts or recommendations on going about it? Do they put you under or is it local or what?

 

Nope, not unless you have an anatomical abnormality that means more than just the typical snip/tie/burn on each side. All I got was 10mg of Valium. Let me tell you...I was a little nervous on the way there. That calmed the pants right off me!! You could have told me I was about to fight Tyson....cool, where is he?

 

Took a few days of no lifting and a few weeks for the stitches to dissolve but no complications. My wife also had to take it easy on my balls during sex for a few weeks as they were tender to pressure.

 

Another thing, at one point he did something that made it feel like he was shoving a baseball up my vas deferens worst pain I ever felt in my life down there. But it didn't last. Again, totally fine now.

 

Feel free to ask any follow-ups.

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Nope, not unless you have an anatomical abnormality that means more than just the typical snip/tie/burn on each side. All I got was 10mg of Valium. Let me tell you...I was a little nervous on the way there. That calmed the pants right off me!! You could have told me I was about to fight Tyson....cool, where is he?

 

Great! My dentist gives me valium before fillings as I have a fear of needles.

 

 

Took a few days of no lifting and a few weeks for the stitches to dissolve but no complications. My wife also had to take it easy on my balls during sex for a few weeks as they were tender to pressure.

 

okay I guess that shouldn't be a problem

 

Another thing, at one point he did something that made it feel like he was shoving a baseball up my vas deferens worst pain I ever felt in my life down there. But it didn't last. Again, totally fine now.

 

Feel free to ask any follow-ups.

 

WAIT WHAT?!?!. I think this is the part that worries me. Care to elaborate as to what this part of the process was?

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WAIT WHAT?!?!. I think this is the part that worries me. Care to elaborate as to what this part of the process was?

 

I think what happened is he injected a tad too much of the anesthetic and that's what I felt. Either that or he clamped it before I was numb. Either way I saw stars and started cursing. Didn't happen again though. But throughout the process he had good communication. You do get pricked half a dozen times or so just to numb up everything. I knew about that ahead of time but it was really no big deal. And although I've been an EMT for 20+ years, still not a fan of receiving needles....but again, wasn't an issue.

 

The oddest part was actually hearing, "ok, now I'm cutting" (the vas). I felt the tug of the forceps against the cutting tool. Not sure if it was a scalpel or scissors but that was a different sensation. No pain at all, just weird to feel.

 

Hopefully that helps. If not, keep asking.

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I had the operation back in the early 80's, and I never felt anything like the severe pain EMT felt. It was very easy, in fact the doctor and I chatted about golf through the whole thing.

 

Had it on a Friday, just took it easy over the weekend and that was it.

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Yeah. I was avoiding a a comment on this one, but there is a lot of weirdness about the original post as well as how it really happens. My husband got a vasectomy when we started swinging. He went to the urologist and two days later he had the procedure in office. I took him only because they didn't want him to drive home. He was in the room for maybe 30 minutes. He said after they prepared him, it took 5 minutes. He also said the two shots he got were at his pain limit. He walked out and actually drove home. His balls were in a sack until he took a shower. Three days later at the most, he fucked me, and a week later I took his cute little jar to the lab for him. The lab report was negative for sperm and we actually waited a few more days until the doctor got results that what he had cut out was what it was supposed to be. There were no stitches and just a butterfly bandage. I don't think he changed it after taking it off himself.

 

There are half a million men that get a vasectomy every year, and about 150 million births every year. And, where a man is cut is the last little trip to get sperm ejaculated. In fact, after a vasectomy you are still producing sperm, it just gets consumed by your body. There is really no place for it to hide.

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Yeah. I was avoiding a a comment on this one, but there is a lot of weirdness about the original post as well as how it really happens. My husband got a vasectomy when we started swinging. He went to the urologist and two days later he had the procedure in office. I took him only because they didn't want him to drive home. He was in the room for maybe 30 minutes. He said after they prepared him, it took 5 minutes. He also said the two shots he got were at his pain limit. He walked out and actually drove home. His balls were in a sack until he took a shower. Three days later at the most, he fucked me, and a week later I took his cute little jar to the lab for him. The lab report was negative for sperm and we actually waited a few more days until the doctor got results that what he had cut out was what it was supposed to be. There were no stitches and just a butterfly bandage. I don't think he changed it after taking it off himself.

 

There are half a million men that get a vasectomy every year, and about 150 million births every year. And, where a man is cut is the last little trip to get sperm ejaculated. In fact, after a vasectomy you are still producing sperm, it just gets consumed by your body. There is really no place for it to hide.

 

While I won't call your post weird, it's definitely atypical in regard to time-lines and that last little trip. Not only my doc, but all over google and in other forums I've spoken on... none have agreed with one ejaculation to get rid of all sperm.

 

Other than that, your husband's experience, aside from not including any frozen peas, seemed like a similar recovery to my own.

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So I'm considering the procedure. Any thoughts or recommendations on going about it? Do they put you under or is it local or what?

 

I received a local and no other pain killers. The injections were no big deal. Now, when the doctor said, "you may feel some pressure when I clamp the vas deferens" - I didn't realize that the "pressure" would about pop the eyes out of my head! Short lived, but intense. And, I'm told that I'm quite pain tolerant.

 

I don't remember how long before we could have sex again. Also, for about a year I would get achy balls from time to time when sitting for too long. I think, an unusual side affect.

 

Absolutely, do not do any lifting or rush your recovery time. My buddy did a bunch of yard work 3 days after the procedure - he ended with testicles the size of softballs for a month.

 

Also, I never did the post-op labs. No pregnancy in 12 years, so I guess it worked. :>)

 

All in all it's not that bad. As long as your sure you do not want any more mini Nomads - don't hesitate the result is worth it.

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A sperm cell takes about 10 weeks to be produced and maybe another 3 or 4 weeks to cross the dermis of the testicles. After that...they live about 5 days at most. So....

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... As long as your sure you do not want any more mini Nomads - don't hesitate the result is worth it.

 

Zero is enough

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I had mine done at a military hospital, prep was done by a woman nurse and procedure was done by a pretty hot woman major. That was the most uncomfortable part of the procedure for me. After the healing process I got achy balls from running or hard work for maybe 8 months. Nothing horrible but similar to an hour after being kicked in the balls. No issues 6 years later, still haven't had my swimmers tested because wife had a hysterectomy afterwards. Now that we're in the LS I've contacted my doctor to schedule one to be safe.

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A sperm cell takes about 10 weeks to be produced and maybe another 3 or 4 weeks to cross the dermis of the testicles. After that...they live about 5 days at most. So....

 

2-5 days is the lifespan once in the female body. While still in the male the lifespan is 60-70 days.

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