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I am so jealous of men. (for the most part) They can relax and have fun during sex because orgasm is inevitable. I envy that. I crave that.

 

For me achieving orgasm feels like work. I don't orgasm unless my clitoris is stimulated. It is very frustrating. The only no hands approach there is for me is oral. It doesn't matter what position I am in I have to use a vibe or my hands. Mostly the vibe because manual stimulation with fingers isn't successful very often.

 

I just want to have sex and it happen. For me, my biggest fantasy is just to have sex with my husband (hands free, battery free) and have a no work orgasm. For me the best orgasms are while being penetrated because that fullness inside just adds to the pleasure. But on the flipside when I can't just lay back enjoy, it takes away from it. Sometimes it takes me over 20 minutes to get there. For the most part (if I have an orgasm) it is just that one. Sometimes I get to squeeze out two. I know this has an effect on my husband as well. Men gain a little confidence off getting their wives off. Husbands with wives who achieve multiple orgasms get a little kick to the ego. I don't think a lot of those husbands know how lucky they are. It's not always their skill but the physical ability of their wives to achieve said orgasms. That doesn't really matter though, the effect is a positive one for both. Just like the effect of not achieving one can be negative even though neither is really at fault.

 

I am not really looking for advice on what position to try or anything like that. I guess I just need to vent. How do you make this not matter? How do you not worry about it? Here I am contemplating buying a new "toy" (We Vibe). Toys and such are suppose to be an added pleasure, not a necessity. Ugh!!

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While my late wife could sometimes achieve vaginal orgasms, the norm was for me to bring her off orally. When she announced, "I'm coming!" I'd give her a few more flicks of the tongue to make sure she was over the edge, slide up her body and she would guide me into her while we kissed. She could finish her orgasm with that "full feeling."

 

Try it! Laura liked it. :)

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While my late wife could sometimes achieve vaginal orgasms, the norm was for me to bring her off orally. When she announced, "I'm coming!" I'd give her a few more flicks of the tongue to make sure she was over the edge, slide up her body and she would guide me into her while we kissed. She could finish her orgasm with that "full feeling."

 

Try it! Laura liked it. :)

 

Vaginal orgasm has never happened for me.

 

We do something similar to that but my actual orgasms are short and sweet. By the time he gets inside me the orgasm is gone. Sex itself is more physically satisfying for me after an orgasm I will admit. It's like until I have one everything down there is asleep.

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It's weird how much of all this is in the mind.

 

Fiona for example can orgasm really quick sometimes. If she's horny and needs a quickie we can get it on and she'll come within 2 or 3 minutes. we've been togtehr so long I know just how to thrust and probe to hit her g spot. On the physical side tho' tgis only happens in missionary.

 

But when we were at a party for example she played with about 5 or 6 different men, including double penetration, oral, had a great time but only came twice. She said there was too much gonbg on around her to allow the focus required for her to come.

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I am so jealous of men. (for the most part) They can relax and have fun during sex because orgasm is inevitable. I envy that. I crave that.

 

That is not always true, much of having an orgasm is dependent on the situation, even for men. There are too many variables to mention, but I have played many times without orgasm, including sex with my wife. I still enjoy it greatly, but there is not that release, so to speak. But inevitable it is not.

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That is not always true, much of having an orgasm is dependent on the situation, even for men. There are too many variables to mention, but I have played many times without orgasm, including sex with my wife. I still enjoy it greatly, but there is not that release, so to speak. But inevitable it is not.

 

That's why I added the part in parenthesis. I understand it can happen with men BUT it is way way less common. We have had sex also were for some reason he couldn't "finish" but those times are very few and far between.

 

It's hard to explain to a guy where he really fully understands. The closest I can think of is a guy who for some reason cannot cum from intercourse. I have heard of men who for some reason have to masturbate to orgasm. Alot of men I talk to say that being able to cum inside is more pleasurable for them. Imagine never being able to do so. Imagine ALWAYS having to pull out and finish for yourself or HAVING to grip the base of your penis or something while fucking to be able to orgasm. Although you can achieve one it could be discouraging to you and your partner. Roles reversed the woman may feel like her pussy must not feel good enough or isn't tight enough or whatever because other wives seem to be able to get their men off with thier pussies. Even though it's not her...it's him.

 

If it's not something that is all the time and you know it IS possible one may be able to relax more because they know in time it will happen and they will get that satisfaction here and there. Knowing you have no choice is frustrating. It would just be nice to sit back and enjoy the ride and not have to feel like a dang bank robber trying to crack the code to the bank vault every time you have sex.

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For me achieving orgasm feels like work. I don't orgasm unless my clitoris is stimulated.

 

It would just be nice to sit back and enjoy the ride and not have to feel like a dang bank robber trying to crack the code to the bank vault every time you have sex.

 

You sound as if this very much on your mind during sex, perhaps it would helpful to work less, relax more and let nature take its course. Maybe the orgasms will come a bit easier.

 

A watched pot never boils.

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I tried that. 1 month...no orgasm. If the intentions for an orgasm aren't there (oral or vibe) it just don't happen.

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While my late wife could sometimes achieve vaginal orgasms, the norm was for me to bring her off orally. When she announced, "I'm coming!" I'd give her a few more flicks of the tongue to make sure she was over the edge, slide up her body and she would guide me into her while we kissed. She could finish her orgasm with that "full feeling."

 

Try it! Laura liked it. :)

 

Alura

 

Oh YES!! Dave does this at times and the orgasm is so much more intense. It actually gives a BOOM to the whole orgasm thing. (OK... I can't explain it, but just know that this is a great way to have a big O!)

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Vaginal orgasm has never happened for me.

 

 

I wonder if this has to do with positioning. I can't have vaginal O's missionary style, but I can if I'm on my back and he's on his side and our legs are kind of scissored. I have no idea why positioning matters because I can't get vaginal O's with a dildo. It has to be the real deal.

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I wonder if this has to do with positioning. I can't have vaginal O's missionary style, but I can if I'm on my back and he's on his side and our legs are kind of scissored. I have no idea why positioning matters because I can't get vaginal O's with a dildo. It has to be the real deal.

 

I have tried them all...even that one!

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I was very similar to you until last year. Being with different partners has allowed me to start having vaginal orgasms. Honestly, the ones I get through oral or manual clit stimulation are better though. I'm not suggesting you swing to try to get different orgasms, but that has been the case for me.

 

Usually I don't come when we play because new partners are distracting, and often my husband doesn't either. He comes through intercourse about half the time with me and has never come through oral with me, but a couple times with other partners. It's just as hot for him to come on me or for him to watch me touch myself so we really don't worry about it.

 

I just accept myself and him as we are and enjoy it/not worry about it. We have tons of fun together and with our friends and that makes me happy!

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How do you make this not matter? How do you not worry about it?

 

It took me a long time to accept how my body works. Now the only time it's a bit sad is if some guy is unhappy if he can't 'make me cum'....I do try to warn guys but in large groups sometimes that gets lost in the play. Even then, it's his issue about it, not mine.

 

I cum with a vibe and like it if a guy can be in me but no vibe on the clit = no O. And even then...20 minutes is not unusual as I 'work' towards it. I do my best to enjoy the 'working toward it' :D

 

It has helped to see guys who don't cum ez too. And other women. And to see the ones who do cum ez. It's all variety. Taking a long time to cum means longer build up and more sensations along the path to an orgasm and others path just just full of fast orgasms....I just do my best to enjoy my path. And enjoy watching and helping others with their paths. :kissface:

 

I also can't change that I can't draw worth crap, can't do much math in my head but spell most words easily. Others can draw or mold clay and others do math in their heads and can't spell....which is better? Which would be what I want? Doesn't matter...I got what I got and they go what they got with their bodies....same with orgasms.

 

Enjoy what you got. Cuz it's what you got. ;)

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I was very similar to you until last year. Being with different partners has allowed me to start having vaginal orgasms. Honestly, the ones I get through oral or manual clit stimulation are better though. I'm not suggesting you swing to try to get different orgasms, but that has been the case for me.

 

 

This would probably make my husband sad if this were the case, to know he has tried everything he could and someone else come along and make it look easy. (I really don't see that happening one on one) I can see a no hands approach to orgasm with a MFM being as the 2 guys can take over what I usually have to do.

I can make him orgasm any way I set out to do it. I can make him orgasm through penetration, oral,anal, handjob, between the boobs and of course he can through mutual masturbation. I am so envious.

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I also can't change that I can't draw worth crap, can't do much math in my head but spell most words easily. Others can draw or mold clay and others do math in their heads and can't spell....which is better? Which would be what I want? Doesn't matter...I got what I got and they go what they got with their bodies....same with orgasms.

 

Enjoy what you got. Cuz it's what you got. ;)

 

Wish I could get the multiquote down but I haven't. LOL

 

I understand what you are trying to say here but you are comparing apples to oranges here. No way the ability to do these other things even compares. IMO To me things like that are easier accept. If you can't so something like draw it's not a part of your everyday life.

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I hear you. I usually need manual stimulation to orgasm as well and get frustrated when I'm with a partner who loses his erection if I try my own manual assist. Oh well. Those who have no problem with me taking matters into my own hands while they're inside me have a special place in my heart:D

 

I don't envy men though. I don't envy having to get it up and keep it up.

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Wish I could get the multiquote down but I haven't. LOL

 

I understand what you are trying to say here but you are comparing apples to oranges here. No way the ability to do these other things even compares. IMO To me things like that are easier accept. If you can't so something like draw it's not a part of your everyday life.

 

But they are from the same source....

 

the body.

 

 

You have emotional sensations to one and not the others. I'm sure other people have the same for spelling or drawing or math or whatever...wishing for what their body doesn't do the same as a friend, or brother or parents.

 

You asked how others reached acceptance....that was my way.

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Women come (pun not intended) in a wide variety. Some are rapid fire , others take a long time , but often are very intense when they do.

 

But I don't ever even expect one to orgasm from vaginal only. Oral / manual is called for before even thinking about intercourse. Unless they demand otherwise , usually will have them have at least one turn first before intercourse.

 

A woman taking a hand herself during intercourse is fine , and been known to add stimulation myself if I know they like it , or ask for it.

 

And there is more variation than you implied w/ guys , and it can also at times be an issue with them.

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And there is more variation than you implied w/ guys , and it can also at times be an issue with them.

 

Can I express the words in bold enough. BIG f'ing difference between at times and all the time.

 

Yes a considerate guy will usually try and let the woman get one at the beginning. These are all duhs. It's just frustrating to have to do things this way. Oral is the only way I can have an orgasm without basically me masturbating. Because really that's what it is. Whether I am being penetrated or not. If I have to put my hands down there it's masturbating.

 

So yeah..guys like cumming in and on other places but just imagine vaginal NOT being an option.

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Well over a dozen partners, only came by intercourse with one. Takes a hand or oral for me. Probably has something to do with the condoms, as the successful launch was bareback.

 

Only one of my partners complains about me not cumming inside her, but that's a near-poly relationship, so it would mean more to her than to the others. Funny thing is that she needs her egg vibe to cum by intercourse. So it's the same all the way around. Oral/manual.. never a problem.

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Enjoyed the post and reading the responses.

 

Mrs. Diggs is just like you Shrevecouple. Hands are extremely hard, oral isn't too difficult but sometimes it's easy to over stimulate and miss it. Vibe is the only reliable method.

 

Having said that...with a vibe, she almost always gets 3, the second two being only minutes behind each other. I'm jealous of that. ;)

 

It's almost one of the reasons we do not just have one night stands. Other than getting hot and bothered we always have to go back and either I take care of her or she grabs the vibe because the guys have to be with her a few times to get the knack of getting her off.

 

I will add that in three years of playing...I rarely cum with condoms on. It really sucks but very, very, very rarely will I cum with the damn thing on.

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Enjoyed the post and reading the responses.

 

Mrs. Diggs is just like you Shrevecouple. Hands are extremely hard, oral isn't too difficult but sometimes it's easy to over stimulate and miss it. Vibe is the only reliable method.

 

Having said that...with a vibe, she almost always gets 3, the second two being only minutes behind each other. I'm jealous of that. ;)

 

It's almost one of the reasons we do not just have one night stands. Other than getting hot and bothered we always have to go back and either I take care of her or she grabs the vibe because the guys have to be with her a few times to get the knack of getting her off.

 

I will add that in three years of playing...I rarely cum with condoms on. It really sucks but very, very, very rarely will I cum with the damn thing on.

 

She sounds pretty much identical to me. I have gotten 3 before but I was by myself and with my vibe of course. The hubby and I have managed 2 together before several times over the course of more than a decade. It's a combo of oral then vibe or twice with the vibe and very very rarely (maybe a couple times) twice from oral. Sometimes the first comes quickly and sometimes slower but the second one almost always takes a pretty good while. Like I have said before, it's like a combination on a bank vault that changes weekly.

 

Other than my insecurities, this is another big reason that swapping doesn't appeal to me as much as MFM. My husband and I can't always figure out the combination so a new guy will more than likely have a hard time. It's not to say it can't happen but I am betting the averages would be really low.

 

People try to say "don't worry about it" because worrying about it makes it harder. Well, if I don't worry about it, IT DON'T HAPPEN. I have to be doing certain things with Orgasm in mind for it to happen so it's kind of hard not to think about it. It's frustrating to not have a choice.

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People try to say "don't worry about it" because worrying about it makes it harder. Well, if I don't worry about it, IT DON'T HAPPEN.

 

OMG, that's funny. Yep, those that say don't worry usually are the ones that don't have to or have never had to worry ;)

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My wife has come from intercourse, but it's rare. What works for us is NOT to focus on her cumming first. We play it as it flows, full of variety and hot stuff, but I cum first virtually every time. Then I go down on her. That always works. She's hot, has enjoyed the full feeling, but more, she finds me going down on her after I've cum in her extremely arousing, extremely intimate, a sharing that few men are willing to perform. It's both very nasty hot and very romantic hot. She usually has only one orgasm, but if I can hold on without her bucking me off, she can cum multiples. It's love...

 

Then there is the obvious suggestion...if you like the full feeling of fucking and oral is the way to cum, put the two together. Hubby goes down on her while she's being fucked. The fireworks have been amazing for us, not only because she gets both stimulus at the same time, but because it is both a nastier hot and a more romantic hot. If hubby can be this loving and intimate you might be amazed, and he too.

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I have suggested that very scenario of oral and fucking but it is hard to get a homo phobic husband to do it.

 

Me too but I have no problem with watching for a little bit while the other wife goes down on my wife while the other husband is fucking her. ;)

 

Sounds like a good compromise to me.

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Me too but I have no problem with watching for a little bit while the other wife goes down on my wife while the other husband is fucking her. ;)

 

Sounds like a good compromise to me.

 

Yes that is an option but I don't really ask or suggest it because I am straight and have no interest in reciprocating.

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Yes that is an option but I don't really ask or suggest it because I am straight and have no interest in reciprocating.

 

Yep, completely understand.

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For years my wife could orgasm just from me giving her oral. For the past few months the only way she can finish is with a vibrator directly on her clit. It's not just me... different play partners have tried also with no success. What gives????

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