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OH513couple

Swinging is fun, but not as satsifying.

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We have been active as a couple since November. We have met and played with about half a dozen couples since then. While the pre-play lead up, initial touching and foreplay, and actual sex is fun, we're finding it's not as satisfying or gratifying as when we play alone. This includes hotel play, hosting, and clubs. Is this normal? We realize the thrill of a new partner adds a charge to the scenario, but both of us has come away agreeing that it's not fulfilling. Has anyone else experienced this? We are beginning to think that this is good as a diversion/charge to our sex life. However, if there's not a better outcome, we've discussed curtailing our swinging playtime.

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Oh, we have better sex alone together by far than when we play with others. He knows my body so well - it's the excitement of new/different partners and new experiences that keeps us swinging. If it was for the sex alone, I could take it or leave it. Our sex life has been enhanced by swinging - but not better, just different.

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Thanks. Your response has mirrored our conversations. We're not discouraged, just losing some of the enthusiasm due to effort to meet and then results.

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We have had similair experiences as well. The anticipation, flirting, etc is great but we have left feeling kind of unsatisfied or let down to some point. We have questioned the whole lifestyle experience and than wham!! We have an experience that literally blows our minds.

We just had to figure out what we like.

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We have had sexual partners that were fantastic kissers, awesome foreplay, etc. but the sex...so-so. (Sex is always good for me ;) but for the mrs. not so much).

 

Keep searching and you will find that couple that will 'blow your mind' like Tallicafan said.

 

Mrs. Diggs's disappointments has made me more conscious of the attention I'm showing my playmate. You want to make sure your playmates are not walking away thinking the same thing :lol:

 

Also, the more we play with a couple, the better they come to know what we like so it may just take some time but I would add this last part. If the sex isn't all it's cracked up to be then are you taking steps to make it better?

 

If something isn't floating your boat do you stop it? Do you let them continue? Why do we find it so hard to tell another couple we are having sex with what we like and dislike? Personally, my feelings don't get hurt, in fact, I get turned on by directions...that feels good, keep doing that, harder, softer, etc.

 

Make sure you are not being shy and best of luck to you both.

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We've don't swing to have great sex with other people. We swing to have different sex with other people... I really enjoy watching my wife with other men, she really enjoys putting on a show and we both really enjoy exploring other people's bodies and their physical reactions to sexual stimulia. The sex itself isn't always great, but it's new, interesting and often something we simply can't do by ourselves (I'm yet to figure out how to have threesome, foursome or moresome with only two people).

 

All of that said, if you're not having fun... don't do it. There's no other reason to do this, after all.

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No, never as fulfilling, and won't ever be.

 

We just played with a new couple this weekend. All the sexy texting leading up to the night was great. We met for drinks, decided we had chemistry and got a room across the street. I had a great time, Mrs had a great time. Our partners have been in touch with us since, saying they had a great time. And we're meeting again next weekend.

 

But, as they told us the next day... when they got home they were fired up and had awesome sex together. Mrs and I were too pooped when we finally made it home (stopped for late night munchies) but the next day we got it on hot and heavy. Swinging = foreplay. We enjoy the appetizers, but the main course is each other. Don't let the time with your partners be the end of the episode.

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Maybe not as often will make things more titilating... But I agree thus far, swinging sex is all right. It's very difficult to get the kissing, touching, licking, and fucking to add up to anything near what I am used to and love. We think we spent too much time hunting for dates and having disappointments and now prefer to try and just get things to happen naturually if only once or twice a year? Dunno, some odd things happened as of late and we are taking a bit of a rest for a while too.

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What Don't Stop says is important. Swinging is the foreplay. Swinging provides a spice for great sex between partners. Rarely are you going to have great sex with a new person. That takes time and clicking in a special way. For us the reasons for swinging are the positions impossible for two and spicing up a notch the sex between us.

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I'd agree and add that there are simply things one can't do without another partner.

 

Bi play comes to mind.

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I truely hope that "sex with others" does not ever seem more fulfilling than sex with my wife. It seems to us that the novelty of swinging wore away at a certain point in time. But that little let-down was replaced by a growing sense that we were both giving ourselves permission to explore things we would never have explored when we started.

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I didnt find this odd. For us, the hunting, the flirting, the anticipation and then the after-sex is the main reason. The whole idea just keeps our sex drive cranked. Although we have left a playtime with WOW on our minds, its not typical.

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We do it for the fun of it - not necessarily seeking great sex. We have awesome sex together and sometimes question why we swing when are both incredibly satisfied with each other. But we do not take each other for granted when we realize how perfect a match we are for each other. It enhances our personal sexual experience. It is almost like the other partners are 'sex toys' - with all due respect! Something to enhance our own experiences.

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It's supposed to be better with your partner.

 

Also consider frequency. Based on what you said you may have had 6 experiences in 3 months. Maybe that is too often for you two. Some people like to swing every weekend. Others we know do it once a year on vacation. For us every 2 or 3 months is about right. Like everything else in life not one pattern fits all. Good luck.

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I believe that the fact that we enjoy our sex together much more than playing with others a great side benefit actually. After a while of only being with your partner, it can become easy to take them for granted (or even take sex with them for granted), but it's things like this that provide a great reminder to us of just how lucky we are to have each other. He knows me and knows how to please me. I have no worries with him. I love his penis, it's just the right size, etc.

 

That said, we still enjoy swinging, the flirting, the fore-play, the chase, being chased. But, most of all we enjoy coming back together afterwards and sharing both the good and the bad and reconnecting. If swinging sex was better than sex with just the two of us, I'd be worried how long we'd last together.

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