Jump to content
naughty_kitten

A safe way to see if your partner is interested

Recommended Posts

I stumbled across this website and thought I'd share it with all the newbies. https://mojoupgrade.com/ allows each person in a couple to specify the types of fantasies they have and it only shows which ones match up with your partner. You can do it on 1 or 2 computers.

Share this post


Link to post

I think this is interesting, but probably not the best way to go about it. It seems like if you are actually talking and say, "what do you think about bondage?" and they say, "yuck, no way!" you can ask why they said that. Is it because it just sounds weird? Is it because they had a bad experience? You could share what interests you about the fantasy. You could suggest baby steps to the fantasy. Maybe in a few months you'll be tied up or your partner will. If you just use the computer program your partner will never know you have this interest.

 

Dan Savage always says in he thinks within the kink scene half of people feel like they've always been kinky and half become kinky because they try it when a partner they care about shares their fantasy.

Share this post


Link to post

Early in our relationship, Mr. Doe and I took the Kink Test and then spent time talking about our results. It was great, because it allowed us to share interests (some of which the test itself reminded us of) and negotiate some trading, in a fun way. This is a little less comprehensive, but I love the safety factor of only having shared fantasies disclosed, because I think people would be likely to try it out, particularly if they're a little squeamish about disclosing things.

Share this post


Link to post

funcoupledayton I think you're viewing this through the lens of being experienced swingers. I know before we started swinging we were definitely not as open about our kinks and fantasies as we are now. Swinging is also seen as very taboo and a lot of people get freaked out if their partner suggests it. This might be a good way to test the waters without being judged.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

For the fun of it, we're taking it. A lot of the stuff we already do, the no items have been discussed and are off limits...there were very few things I hadn't really considered. But, naughty kitten is right, this would be a great icebreaker for a couple just getting interested in spicing things up a bit:)

Share this post


Link to post
funcoupledayton I think you're viewing this through the lens of being experienced swingers. I know before we started swinging we were definitely not as open about our kinks and fantasies as we are now. Swinging is also seen as very taboo and a lot of people get freaked out if their partner suggests it. This might be a good way to test the waters without being judged.

 

Good critique! thanks.

Share this post


Link to post

Well I have just been better with talking to my girlfriend about it because she likes me to be open. But we might have to try this test!

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Content

    • By Avgjoe
      The wife and I have always talked about another person in the bedroom. key word talked.
       
      A short time ago I had mentioned that maybe it is time to pursue this idea. To my surprise she said sure.
       
      Now this is our idea. Has anybody ever started out with strippers? I feel this is possibly the easiest way to find out if both parties involved are going to be able to handle the situation. I'm hoping to get a private show for her and sit back and see how it affects me.
       
      I've already said that I'm probably not ready for her to jump right on and give it hell, but a more aggressive touch session is what I'm thinking. Has anyone ever explored this idea and how did it go?
       
      Also, if anyone has done this out in Vegas, what agency did you use? We are planning to be out in Vegas in October and want to start looking for an agency.
    • By JustAskJulie
      When you first brought up the idea of swinging to your partner, what objections (if any) did you have to overcome before they were willing to give it a try?
       
       
      - Worry about one or both of you falling in love with someone else?
      - Worry about potential jealousy?
      - Worry about family/friends finding out?
      - Worry about you thinking less of them for doing so?
      - Worry that swinging is morally wrong? Religious/ Moral Issues?
      - Worry that your desire for swinging means that they are not enough for you? That you don't love them anymore or will love them less?
       
      How did you handle these questions? What answers did you give? How did you overcome the objections?
    • By RobLuver
      Hello everyone! I've been reading this board for the past couple of weeks and decided to post some questions to the community. Most of my questions have been answered by reading the posts. Maybe you can help me with a few others.
       
      -----------------
      Question 1:
       
      From the subject line, you know that I love to smell women's butts. There is nothing that turns me on more than a woman with a dirty, sweaty butthole. Especially when a woman has a nice round butt. It is so animalistic and turns me in to a wild sex animal! No joke, I love to smell butts. I got hooked on it when I was around 14 or 15 and became sexually active. I'll always remember the butt smell that would rise when I took off a girls panties. It has become linked to sexual arousal to me, much like Pavlov's dogs. When I think of sexual activity I think of the scent of a woman's butt.
       
      I don't like poop. But I love a woman with a dirty, sweaty ass.
       
      I think there's probably other men out there with that fetish. Most of my former girlfriends have been disgusted when I told them that I like to smell their butts. They usually let me though. Sometimes I'll request that they not bathe for a day or two or longer so their butt is nice and stinky! Then I spread those ass cheeks wide and rub that anus all over my chest. One time a former girlfriend didn't bathe for almost a week--we 69'd for an hour. A few one night stands I've had I've told the women that I wanted to smell their butts. Just telling them that is a turn on in itself because I never know how they'll react, if they'll be cool with it or if they'll freak out (one former girlfriend got turned on by me smelling her asshole). Often, I don't tell them and just do it anyway. Usually if you meet a woman at a bar who is actively looking for sex she's going to be clean and there will be no scent.
       
      Are there any women swingers out there that would accommodate a request from a swing partner to be dirty so he could smell her butt?
       
      ---------------------
      Question 2:
       
      From reading this board I've learned that there is little emotional attachment to the sex that occurs between swing partners. Most of the women are loyal to their men other than the fact they have sex with other men.
       
      Do any swingers swap wives or girlfriends for an entire night or weekend?
       
      I would love to borrow a man's wife for an entire weekend of nonstop sex.
       
      ----------------------
       
      Questoin 3:
       
      How do I suggest swinging to my girlfriend? I'd be interested in 2 girls, and swapping with another couple. But I am a firm believer in the 1-wiener rule. No other penises in the room but mine.
       
      My girlfriend is great. We've been together for about 2 yeras. But there is no future. I am not going to marry her. I'm certainwe will be friends after we break up. So since I'm not going to marry her, I thought maybe she could be my passport to pussy.
       
      Should I come straight out and ask her if she'd be interested in swinging? (She'll probably say no.) Should I joke about it and see how she responds to jokes? Should I show her this website and let her read it for a few weeks to desensitize her to the thought?
       
      Odds are against her being for this. So I want to bring it up in a way that is the least likely to get a flat out "no". But regardless of what she says I'll respect her decision.
       
      ----------
       
      Question 4:
       
      My ultimate fantasy would be to go to a hotel party with 6 or more other couples and randomly draw names out of a hat to choose partners that we'll have sex with and then go back to our rooms and get it on.
       
      Do these kinds of things happen? I heard that it used to be popular to randomly choose partners in the 1970s.
       
      ---------
       
      Question 5:
       
      Another fetish of mine is cumming on a woman's face.
       
      Is cumming on a woman swinger's face acceptable? Does this happen? Do any women out there reading this let guys cum on their faces? What would happen if the woman said no and you did it anyway? Sometimes I get a thrill out of doing things that I'm not supposed to do!
       
      Do women swingers swallow? That's a huge turn on too.
       
      Do you women let guys do this when you swing or is it a "husbands" only thing?
      ----------------------------
       
      Question 6:
       
      Spanking. Do any of you females out there like to be spanked? Does spanking occur? I know there are a few women out there who like to be spanked, because I've had them.
       
      I'd love to be in a situation where I spank a man's wife and he spanks my girlfriend and we spank the hell out of them. I spank his wife. He then tries to one-up me by spanking my girl. Then I spank his wife harder. He spanks my girl harder. Oh yeah that would be fun!
      --------------------
       
      I'm sure I have other questions that I can't think of right now.
       
      Thanks for your input, especially you females out there.
    • By MikeBravo
      We all know how it's usually the husbands that bring up swinging to their wives. But what if you know that your wife will shoot down swinging? Would it be easier to convice her to become a nudist and then go from there?
    • By Kimasianwife
      Im 36 married 16 years with 4 kids and I recently have the desire to cheat. I told a friend and he told me about swinging. It's very interesting. Today I tried something and it seemed like guys weren't interested. But I want to get hubby on board first how?
×
×
  • Create New...