Jump to content
kikonkrome

Feedback on making long term swinging friends?

Recommended Posts

So far my wife's and my encounters have been at a swing club and have essentially been a one and done situations.

 

Last time we were out we met a couple and had a really great time with them both in and out of the bedroom. It was really great. Although a long term friendship may not happen with this couple. We can see it develop as we enjoy the hobby. Just like we have friends from other 'hobbies' and activities we do. We certainly have made friends that we only see at the clubs, and we enjoy chatting, getting to know them, sharing our experiences, etc.

 

We hear tales of long term friendships and were curious to get some feedback. One of the big things being social media. Are people facebook friends with couples you swing with? Do you enjoy vanilla activities with them? Both of these things we could see happening as we are an active outgoing couple, and have a variety of interests outside of the lifestyle.

 

The social media thing comes up pretty regularly (it's come up before as we have communicated with other couples) as let's face it, almost everybody is on Facebook, Linkedin, Google+, etc.

 

I am certainly planning on discussing it with the other couple next time we see them, and yes there seems to actually be a tentative place and time for us to meet.

 

Love to hear some feedback on this?

Share this post


Link to post

For quite a while we kept the vanilla and swinging lives completely separate, especially so on social media, and even when we loosened up that rule, it was just for a very select few that we know very well and trust without reservation. The thing about social media is that everyone has a different take on where the over-sharing line is, who all they have on their friends list, and so on. What you may regularly share may be something someone else wouldn't, and vice versa. You may limit your Facebook to just friends while they may have their boss on their list. It's just a trick thing, one's idea of discrete might not match the other person's idea of discrete.

 

On the vanilla activities, that's also a yes for a select few. Most times we get together there is play involved, but there have been times that we have gotten together just to do something with everyone knowing up front that it wasn't going to be a play date.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

We still try to keep our vanilla and swinging lives rather separate but some of our best friends are friends we met thru swinging (since we have always looked for friends with benefits).

 

Are people facebook friends with couples you swing with? No, but none of our swinger friends have ever asked. Even if asked, I think we would be more comfortable keeping this separate.

 

Do you enjoy vanilla activities with them? All the time. Once again, we generally looks for people that we would like to be friends with. If you are going to put all the time and effort into developing friendships, we would rather devote that to finding friends that occasionally get naked together. I mean, how cool is that?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

Don't rush it. And you need not put too much thought or effort into it. If you continue in the swing lifestyle, some people will stay in your lives.

 

Text with lifestyle people? As a relationship progresses it might occur. You'll know if and when. Anyway, my wife and I do, she more than I. And that seeming imbalance is OK with me.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

We have been at this only since last summer, but already we have come to know some people who we feel will be lasting friends. We have one couple in particular with whom we have had some great play dates, and also some fun vanilla get-togethers (the trick with that is knowing when it's a play date vs. a vanilla get-together!). Anyway, I think it's quite natural that people you meet in the lifestyle can become good friends- after all, these are people that you share some intimate things with!

 

As far as social media are concerned, we do keep up relationships on Facebook with many of our lifestyle friends and acquaintances. This is aided by the fact that many in our circle of lifestyle friends are members of a handful of secret groups on Facebook. So we can all post in these secret groups, and those posts and comments do not show up on peoples' timelines (where their mothers and kids and co-workers could see them!). But also we have a lifestyle-specific profile that is separate from each of our individual (vanilla) profiles, and it's an account that is shared by the Mrs. and me. We are able to keep the "worlds from colliding" for ourselves by using this separate profile. And as for the many lifestyle friends of ours who do not use separate lifestyle-specific profiles, we just take care not to inadvertently "out" them by posting racy stuff to their timelines from our lifestyle profile (sometimes we need to steer clear of posting or commenting on anything at all that is not within the secret groups), nor do we expect those people to "friend" us using their vanilla profile. It might be awkward having to explain to one's Mom why you have someone named "Acouple InMaryland" on your friend list!

 

SW_PA_Couple mentioned texting... We do text back and forth with a few of our close and comfortable lifestyle friends, and sometimes the texts even get flirty or even "sexty". But that happens only after we are all clear whether or not it is safe to do that. One friend of ours, for example, has her phone with her at work, and does not want to get racy messages during her business day. She usually makes up for it with after-hours texting! But we know to respect her need to keep things professional while she's at work. The other thing about texting is that we try to send our texts to a group that includes both partners in the other couple, as well as our own spouse. That way, the conversation (even sexy conversation) is being shared with everyone, and there's never any sense of going behind anyone's back.

 

Here's hoping that you make some friends with benefits- not just the benefits, but the friends as well!

  • Like 1
  • Confused 1

Share this post


Link to post
Guest

We had a guy who had been a good buddy to me for years. He had actually been a friend of my first hubby who passed away. Hadn't seen him for a few years, when hubby died, sold the house, moved into the city and bumped into Mike. He and I would do dinner together, go out with the girls or the boys, just friends. If we drank too much, he would sleep on my house or I at his, same bed, nothing ever happened. I met hubby and hubby accepted Mike, he hung with us still, would have us over for dinner, etc. One day we went over to use the pool at his condo, went up for dinner. My blouse had gotten wet at the pool and I asked for a t-shirt. Mike went to get me one, I turned and pulled off the bathing suit top, Mike tosses the top to hubby, hubby tosses it back and says, are we sure we want to do this, we're shirtless, equal rights and all of that. So, I went topless and me topless became the norm when I walked into Mike's condo.

 

A year or so later, we take Mike out for his birthday. I apologize for not buying him a present. Hubby says, oh, she gives the best birthday presents which between the two of us was a term I used for giving hubby birthday blow jobs. Mike caught on and we decide to go back to our place and have a hot tub and then give Mike a birthday blow job. I wasn't sure about this but did it. The hot tub was fun, played with both guys' dicks. Afterwards, hubby says take Mike on in and get started while I close up the hot tub. I take Mike down, push down on the bed, peel off the towel and go to work. Hubby comes in after a while, goes down on me from behind, I swallow Tom's load and then he watches while hubby and I fuck. We all sleep together and the next morning we have MFM.

 

The relationship was great. We would all three go out together, play together, etc. When hubby traveled, I would go over to Mike's and he and I would fuck, we even did with on video cam with hubby watching from Boston. Unfortunately Mike eventually moved to the west coast and we only see him occasionally now.

Share this post


Link to post

Up until recently we were a one and done couple too. We both enjoyed the newness and novelty of a couple. It has been said in other threads that part of what we do is to experience new things, positions, touches and I have to admit sights. After all these years, and I admit this to Mike, I sort of relive the first time I ever saw or touched a guy. Yes many many years ago. Not every experience is a 5 star experience but if both of us we have always enjoyed the newness. I did say until recently. Recently we have done something we never thought we would do, do this with vanilla friends. We were hesitant when approached by very good friends to swap with them. It is a totally different experience both good and I won't say bad but it does come with bumps in the road. I think the sex we are having with them is more playful maybe also more reserved. I mean I have been having sex with my best friend forever, my husband, and we try to keep it fresh and alive , and now we are doing it with very good friends.

As far as Facebook, keep it off of Facebook and social media. Unless you want to make an alias up, Facebook has too many crazies and you know isn't very private. You see the ads pop up when on FB? Someone is watching what you are doing....

  • Like 1
  • Confused 1

Share this post


Link to post
We still try to keep our vanilla and swinging lives rather separate but some of our best friends are friends we met thru swinging (since we have always looked for friends with benefits).

 

Same here. It's good to have swinging friends so you can talk about swinging things with them. Maybe I am old, but I am not active on social media. None of my swinging friends have asked to friend me on facebook, and our communication of choice is usually email or text.

 

And we definitely enjoy vanilla activities with our swinging friends! It's great to have other common interests, and nothing beats a dinner, movies, and then go home and get naked together. I have gone shopping with swinging gal friends. I mean who else is going to go with me to pick out sexy outfits for all those parties?!

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...