Hello, we hope you can offer us some wisdom. We have been in the lifestyle a little while and have had a few experiences with couples. We have some vanilla friends that we were very close to over ten years ago when we were still vanillas. We had a very sexually open relationship with them in that we often talked openly about sex and our sex lives and we have vacationed with them and had sex with our own partners separated only by a thin wall so we could all hear what was going on etc but we never actually had any sexual contact with them. I also need to add that their fem half was very sexually open and horny all the time, i.e. she was not shy or prudish.
Anyway, we all drifted apart and got busy raising our families, building our careers and they moved away and live several hours away and we have not seen them for several years and only exchange an occasional Christmas card or chain letter email.
Out of the blue a few weeks ago the male half called us and said they were coming to town to see family over the holidays and they wanted to get together with us. That is not strange or remarkable. What is remarkable is how much he was stressing that they wanted to get rid of kids and have an "adult night". He said adult night, adult entertainment and adult fun over and over. He also said they wanted to get a single hotel room and the 4 of us spend the night together.
My alarm bells started going off and I tried to push things a little bit to get a feel for what he was getting at so I suggested getting a whirlpool suite and a few bottles of champagne and having a hell of time and he didn't even flinch or try to make any disclaimers or boundaries etc.
Now we are wondering if during our separation that perhaps they may have gone down a similar path as us and are now swingers also or at least open to the idea of some kind of sexual exploration with us. Are we seeing legitimate signs or do we have a distorted view of reality since we are in the lifestyle and are just seeing signs we want to see?
Any advice on how we should proceed from here? Is there a way we can feel them out a little bit more and find out what they are thinking without outing ourselves in case we are misreading things?