Good question. I think that since we have gotten into the lifestyle there is definitely a "what if" that has crept into those friendships. We are protective of those friendships and would risk them for the long shot chance of quick roll, so it isn't something that we're likely to act upon - but the mind does have a life of it's own.
"Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities." - C. S. Lewis
Yeah, you do get a different outlook on the world and your mind can churn up some fantasies pretty quick, but no, it wouldn't be worth risking a friendship or descretion to ask.
Kind of makes you wonder though, what if you have some friends that are swingers but haven't told you and maybe they go to clubs and you don't. or vice versa. Or, they are on one website and you are on another or niether one of you have pics up on your profile but are on the same site?
I have begun to pay attention to certain tattoos and jewelry on coworkers that I see a lot in the swing community. I'm not going to ask them, but it kinda makes me go, hmmmmm???
Play safe and play careful, it's a big world out there.
No we don't...we have invited a select few of our vanilla friends to join us, but only because they had the right personalities to handle what we proposed, some said yes, some said no, but all remain good friends.
There are vanilla friends that we look at and wish they were swingers, but we would never bring up the subject with them at all.
Since entering this lifestyle, we look at everyone differently.
Ted and Teresa
No lifetime is enough unless you live it in such a way as to make it enough.
I agree naughtys!! Hubby thought he would ask since we have been talking about some of our friends and doing the "wondering" about some of them but wont dare ask. We also notice that there are some at my work that I am real curious about (the women) They seem to Hit on me but not being to forward about it. Well one I know is bi and is always asking me to go here or there with her and she flat out asked me if we are swingers...I told her yes since I know on the side she is a stipper and well I wont tell if she wont tell!! lol .We both started noticing more stuff about people around us and sometimes when eating out alone we people watch and have seen some "first dates" going on which before we wouldnt have thought much about.
There are girls at my work that I would love to invite home but not real sure how they would take it! lol they give off lots of mixed signals. And just recently I meet our new managers wife...wow is she a hottie! but wont go there since I work for her hubby and well dont sleep with management...
For many years I've looked at my friends and wondered if there was a potential given the right situation. Even when I wasn't considering swinging. Though I have to agree with the Naughty's, they just don't seem like as much fun now. But we still hang out and enjoy our time together. I just have these naughty thoughts that cross my mind on occasion that only I will know about. More than once my friends have asked "what are you smiling about?"
I would say definately not. Since it's ok to be attracted to other people it just makes it that much more likely that I would be attracted to a vanilla friend.... they are friends after all. The hard part is determining what (if anything) to do about it.
Our experience has been very similar to TNT's. We also look at complete strangers a bit differently in that actions that used to go unnoticed can (for better or worse) easily draw our attention.
One day we were having dinner at a favorite spot and sitting next to us were what appeared to be a married couple and a single guy. We couldn't help but overhear some familiar sexual innuendo during parts of their discussion. When we got back, we scoured swappernet to see if we could recognize any of them - LOL.
Conversely, we are surprised that our vanilla friends who know we are in the lifestyle DON'T seem look at us any differently - at least not that we can tell. Guess they always new there was just "something" about us - LOL.
50-somethings, loving our open marriage and meeting new friends. Just say hello!
It's interesting that now my wife and I look at all of our "vanilla" friends and play this fun game, "Would they, or wouldn't they?" Most of the time we think they wouldn't, but we could be wrong! Sometimes we figure that one partner would and one wouldn't. Very occasionally the subject comes up and right away we can get a sense from their reaction or response like, "I could never imagine doing anything like that" or, "Yeah but my wife would never go for it." We will not pursue swinging with our friends that we've had for a long time because we think it would change the relationship. Although we did have athreesome once with a single male friend of mine. It didn't change anything very much with the friendship; still friends 10 years later and occasionally get together for some fun!
When they aren't looking I may do that, "Yummy" once over look.
But to suggest swinging....not on your life. Friends, even best friends have a way of talking to other people about "juicy" topics and my sex life is not a topic I want discussed.
But looking hell ya! I have some pretty hot friends.
Plus, my swinger friends are too much fun to worry about if my vanilla friends would be intrested in joining us for a roll in the forbiden hay.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
Speaking of hotness, I just have to say, you're new picture is SMOKIN'
I've wondered about some friends, but we're not totally attracted to both parts of any couple at the moment. Long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away, my ex and I had a set of friends that would have been a lot of fun to play with. My ex and I never did swing, but we fantasized about being with another couple.
The couple moved to Colorado, and I haven't seen them in 17 years. I bet they're swingers...
For us it's not so much that we want to play with our vanilla friends. We would just like to be able to "come out" to them since they are pretty close. One set of VFs, D&M, pretty well know, though it isn't spoken. They used to do FMFs a lot, so they have the mental aptitude to process it. Another set, J&W, are a newlywed couple, who are smokin hot, but still in the whole puppy love thing. We feel leary about sharing our hobby and introducing a concept they may not be ready to talk to each other about. Our third set, L&B, had a wild streak earlier in life, and she even says she is bi-curious, but they are ultra-religious now, so we don't dare mention it.
Most of our acquaintances consider us the "too much fun for us" couple, so I don't think it would be a reach for them to connect the dots.
Do we look at them differently? Not really. We share the lifestyle with our lifestyle friends and keep the vanilla separate. One really doesn't have anything to do with the other.
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