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  1. #1
    Swingers Board Addict Emt's Avatar
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    We are super excited and a little nervous (seems like everyone has the first-time jitters). We are heading to a club that's about 2 hours away. But I can probably make it in 1.5hrs in my Stang using Waze. Anyway, we have a bag packed with toiletries, sexual preps, etc. We're going to take a tour and then meet up with the owners and a couple we met through their youtube channel.

    I'm planning on wearing an oxford blue dress shirt, black dress pants/belt/wing-tips and black form-fitting boxers. She's not sure but possibly a tight dress, something that can show off her cleavage, g-string or commando. I said it'd be fine to go commando because flashing the vag at this club might be a good thing. She's going to pick something out Friday. I reinforced the importance of her looking sexy but above all confident.

    We'll see what happens!!


  2. #2
    Swingers Board Addict adamgunn's Avatar
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    Best of luck. Let us know how it goes.

  3. #3
    Sounds like you have a good plan, but don't be in too big of a hurry to get there. Explaining that bag to a police office after getting pulled over for speed might put a damper on the evening. Don't forget to let us know how things went and good luck and fun times!
    If you donít have to lie about sex, you donít have to lie about anything. - John Williamson

  4. #4
    Swingers Board Addict Emt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GoldCoCouple View Post
    Sounds like you have a good plan, but don't be in too big of a hurry to get there. Explaining that bag to a police office after getting pulled over for speed might put a damper on the evening. Don't forget to let us know how things went and good luck and fun times!
    It's just a toiletry bag so other than a bottle of generic viagra, Skynz & Durex condoms and 3 different types of lube, and a wand vibe...nothing out of the ordinary.

    I just called and made reservations and got a confirmation number. We are a go! Super excited!!

  5. #5
    So how did it go?

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by chiccouplexx View Post
    So how did it go?
    It's not Saturday yet.

  7. #7
    We can WISH it was already Saturday...
    If you donít have to lie about sex, you donít have to lie about anything. - John Williamson

  8. #8
    Swingers Board Addict Emt's Avatar
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    Last night was great for some reasons, but mostly sucked.


    But at the same time, we're planning to go back in a few weeks for some "SOS" event that we were told would be mostly couples in our age range.

    So when we first got there, we paid, took the nickel tour, and then met Tom and Bunny (from their youtube channel) and the club owner. After that we walked around and gravitated toward pretty much the only group of 4 couples that were in our age range. They were chatting and seemed to be enjoying themselves so we asked if we could join them and they welcomed us. Initially they were friendly...and also really attractive. However, one of them was a model who was sitting right under her own poster hanging in the club. They'd just come back from "Hedo". They sat around and chatted for half an hour.

    Then there was this "DILF" (dude I'd like to fuck) contest where people judged these guys that volunteered to compete. But that lasted two hours!! So we all essentially stood around, zero socializing except for some dancing. Well that's where things went south. It was so loud I completely misunderstood my wife when she said the model flipped out and I thought I heard it was on some guy that tried to touch her. I thought my wife said that the model said "we never talked about that" to whatever guy it was. So I said "oh ok" and left it at that. It wasn't until we were saying goodbye to Tom and Bunny that I heard the real version. Turns out my wife tried to dance with the model and the girl flipped out AT MY WIFE and said "we're not there yet, we never talked about that". My wife said she literally just grazed the girls hips with her hands and this is what caused that response. So from there on, that group pretty much avoided us.

    Well, except for one of the couples. The female didn't show any interest in me but the male was cupping my wife's ass and over time was fingering her on the dance floor. So I tried dancing with the female from behind and I asked if this was okay with her and she replied "I wouldn't be standing here otherwise." So I rubbed her hips, we were grinding together.....then she walked back over to the guy and they did their best to spin away from us. It was really odd! My wife asked the guy and the girl at different points if they wanted to find a room to continue the fun and he said yes, she just laughed and didn't give a straight answer. Again, odd!

    The one great thing we got out of the night was one of the other couples in that group was VERY nice/friendly. She said to ignore the model that she has issues and even flipped out on her in the past and that she's known the girl for over a year. She said not to be discouraged and then was the one who told me about this SOS group that you apparently have to be invited to join...or maybe a subgroup of it. But hopefully they'll invite us in. We traded info to keep in touch and we just sent them a very thankful note for their kindness last night.

    Tom and Bunny said not to be discouraged and shared stories of people being rude/odd with them in the LS as well. They were great to meet! We snapped pics together.

    After waking up, I pieced together some other problems from last night. Initially, my wife was really nervous and sucked down an entire 375ml bottle of Smirnoff in vodka/cranberry drinks in the span of 2 hours to calm her nerves. Problem is, when she drinks too much past a certain limit she goes from being really awesome, to awkward and moody...which is what happened toward the end of the night. Plus she felt offended at what happened with the model and the other "odd" couple so that killed it for her.

    I also noticed I was WAAYYY overdressed in a fitted button down dress shirt and more formal black slacks. Other guys were wearing short sleeve shirts and nice jeans and even cargo shorts...which I didn't think was allowed. And we noticed that single piece short dresses seemed more appropriate and fun (easy access) compared to the mid-drift top and knee length skirt my wife wore.

    We did get to see other couples having sex, that was really nice. My wife, in her drunk "mood" said she wished that was us and expressed being pissed that the couples responded as they did (model/odd). So we said our goodbyes and left. But we were both really turned on so she blew me and I bent her over the hood of my Mustang out in the parking lot.

    Like I said, most of the night was really confusing and discouraging. However, we're looking at it as a learning experience, trying to build on the positives, and just hoping for better next time. At least we know we love what we saw....just want to be more included in the fun.

  9. #9
    Swingers Board Addict adamgunn's Avatar
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    Well, you had an experience. That's good. It wasn't exactly the one you wanted, that's normal.

    Next time, you might have your wife cut down on the drinking, that's never a good thing. Better luck next time.


  10. #10
    Swingers Board Addict Emt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by adamgunn View Post
    Well, you had an experience. That's good. It wasn't exactly the one you wanted, that's normal.

    Next time, you might have your wife cut down on the drinking, that's never a good thing. Better luck next time.

    Yeah, way ahead of you. I'm thinking next time, pop half (or whole) Xanax to eliminate her jitters and stick to cranberry on the rocks rather than the alcohol. Also, seems like 2 other things on our end and one on the club's end...

    On our end, she needs to connect with the other female(s) rather than the male of whatever couple we're interacting with. And instead of spending hours with the same clique that seems pretty closed play-wise...move on after a few minutes of no connection.

    But on the clubs end, there's gotta be more than just 2-4 other couples our age. It was kinda ridiculous...easily 100-150 people in the place. Maybe 10 were in the 20-40 crowd.

  11. #11
    Swingers Board Addict Emt's Avatar
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    We just finished debriefing from last night. We agreed the alcohol to that level was socially toxic. So we'll both just nurse a couple of drinks next time. We also agreed that the population just wasn't a good match at all outside of the pre-established clique that really wanted nothing to do with anyone else at the club except themselves.

    What I'm going to do is look at 2 of the Philly clubs that people seem to enjoy (Pleasure Garden Club and Saints & Sinners) and see if that population might be more fitting for us. We might also benefit in finding a newcomers night where we're on a more level playing field with at least some of the other couples rather than everyone being so established and well-seasoned.

    I'm also going to look more into the "SOS" (Swing Out Socials) group I was told about last night. Seems like that might something else to try.

    Attire-wise, if we do go back to that club, it'll definitely be a polo/slacks for me and something much more revealing and sexy for her. We can ask in another thread but where are good places to look for ls club-wear for women? We saw some amazing outfits last night....very hot! Should have asked where they shopped!

    On my end, I feel pretty socially unattractive since she had multiple guys hitting on and playing with her and I had zip. But I figure if she feels comfortable taking the lead in the future, I'm fine with joining in at some level when we do find a couple we can connect with. Plus I noticed that the guys were kinda wall paper anyway...the women definitely run the show. That was pretty universal from what we both noticed last night.

  12. #12
    Swingers Board Addict the Nomads's Avatar
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    glad you got out there and checked it out. It seems to always be different every time we’ve gone to the club. Right now though we are in a drought. The vibe here in DC is really different than Florida. As for age I get that. We are in our mid to late 30s and it seems we only seem to find older crowds. It’s just as well though as we have plenty of projects to keep us busy trying to get back south. Good luck and keep at it.

  13. #13
    Swingers Board Addict adamgunn's Avatar
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    Seems from your most recent post that you've figured out what's going on with your entry into the LS. Congratulations! But I knew from all the thinking you did beforehand that it would be a fairly easy entry for you.

    As far as age at clubs, I'd suspect this is going to be an issue at most clubs. It seems that the mare mature you are, the more disposable income you have. That's a barrier to many younger couples. Also, there are more older swingers because of the empty-nest syndrome.

    But keep at it, don't expect instantaneous results. You're going to be fine!

  14. #14
    Sorry you had a less than stellar time. Looks like you've got a handle on what to do next to avoid the pitfalls, and to heighten your experience. Good for you.
    As for age in the LS.... it is my observation that most couples who are into swinging find it after years in a vanilla marriage and turn to this lifestyle to spice up their flagging marriage or to spice up what has become boring or predictable sex. Most young people aren't at that point in their life yet,(still having great sex, still feeling out their relationship, etc) so we rarely see 20-somethings at the club. Even when we do a Young Swingers Night, the average age is still mid to late 30's, even if we do get a few younger couples. The young people I do encounter and ask, say most young people are into polyamory or just have an open relationship, rather than swinging with it's protocols and rules.
    But on a regular night, the average age is 40-something. Seems to be the same at all the local clubs.

  15. #15
    Swingers Board Addict njbm's Avatar
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    Sorry you had a less than peak experience. We just returned from a Bliss cruise that was a series of misfires, disses and missed communications. Except for one stellar connection that made up for all the bad experiences.

    Get back on the horse, learn from your mistakes and hope you meet less nutty and more age appropriate partners. Keep in mind that most people in the hobby are unconventional at best and coo coo for coco puffs in many cases.

  16. #16
    This is why we always say to go with no expectations since you never know who will be there. To just go and have a sexy good time with your SO. It sounds like you still had a pretty good time on the hood of the Mustang...We wish you better luck the next time.
    If you donít have to lie about sex, you donít have to lie about anything. - John Williamson

  17. #17
    Swingers Board Addict Emt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by adamgunn View Post
    Seems from your most recent post that you've figured out what's going on with your entry into the LS. Congratulations! But I knew from all the thinking you did beforehand that it would be a fairly easy entry for you.

    As far as age at clubs, I'd suspect this is going to be an issue at most clubs. It seems that the mare mature you are, the more disposable income you have. That's a barrier to many younger couples. Also, there are more older swingers because of the empty-nest syndrome.

    But keep at it, don't expect instantaneous results. You're going to be fine!
    Definitely have regrouped and will be doing things much differently next time....different clubs, different themes, different routes to calming the jitters, different socializing/approach, different dress on her part.

    I do think most of the disappointment came from the fact that the clique was established, they didn't want to have anything to do with anyone outside of themselves, and they were the only ones in our age range. Hopefully we hit the mark next time. We really want to be the ones in the rooms making the noise!!

    Another positive that came from the experience was that neither one of us had the slightest shred of jealousy/awkwardness with watching things happen with the other. Yes, I only got to feel and grind with a girl and she only got fingered by two guys....but both of us had fun while that lasted on both sides.


  18. #18
    Swingers Board Addict Emt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tabota View Post
    Sorry you had a less than stellar time. Looks like you've got a handle on what to do next to avoid the pitfalls, and to heighten your experience. Good for you.
    As for age in the LS.... it is my observation that most couples who are into swinging find it after years in a vanilla marriage and turn to this lifestyle to spice up their flagging marriage or to spice up what has become boring or predictable sex. Most young people aren't at that point in their life yet,(still having great sex, still feeling out their relationship, etc) so we rarely see 20-somethings at the club. Even when we do a Young Swingers Night, the average age is still mid to late 30's, even if we do get a few younger couples. The young people I do encounter and ask, say most young people are into polyamory or just have an open relationship, rather than swinging with it's protocols and rules.
    But on a regular night, the average age is 40-something. Seems to be the same at all the local clubs.
    I hope I didn't give the impression before that we're only looking for people in their 20's and 30's because that's not accurate. We're looking for 30's and early 40's. 20's and late 40's might actually feel too unrelatable which is a concern. But we'll see what age has to do with it at the next few events.

    Thanks

  19. #19
    Swingers Board Addict Emt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by njbm View Post
    Sorry you had a less than peak experience. We just returned from a Bliss cruise that was a series of misfires, disses and missed communications. Except for one stellar connection that made up for all the bad experiences.

    Get back on the horse, learn from your mistakes and hope you meet less nutty and more age appropriate partners. Keep in mind that most people in the hobby are unconventional at best and coo coo for coco puffs in many cases.
    Yup, definitely back on the horse! And we're fine with unconventional. We're not space cadets or anything...and I think we're really personable and down to earth...but we're looking for people we can get along with...not just meet up at a glory hole.

  20. #20
    Swingers Board Addict Emt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GoldCoCouple View Post
    This is why we always say to go with no expectations since you never know who will be there. To just go and have a sexy good time with your SO. It sounds like you still had a pretty good time on the hood of the Mustang...We wish you better luck the next time.
    This is true. When it comes to sex and the future, one thing I'm curious about...bearing in mind this first experience...is if/when to pop a Viagra?? My wife was stroking me all night long through my pants so I was pretty hard. And I know that I'm usually a quick first pop and then if aroused enough the second one is the main event. But when it comes to the lifestyle and the private rooms...do people camp out and have sex multiple times right in a row. Or is it pretty much a once and done thing?

    My wife said not to take the pill prior to our arrival or I'd be walking around with an erection all night, possibly without any need. And she was right.

  21. #21
    Swingers Board Addict njbm's Avatar
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    This is an excellent question. I take a Viagra pill 30 minutes before I play. At a couple for couple swap where we planned to play, no problem. At a house party, I have to wait for the meet and greet part to see if I think pay dirt is likely. For a club or event, hang out a little see where things are going and then take it. I figure I can dabble in making out and oral sex on the woman for 30 minutes while it is kicking in. I have wasted pills by taking them and then nothing happens. I have generic Viagra at $3/pill for dubious nights. You are going to waste some.

    Last year, I used Cialis for a week before and throughout a weekend at a nudist/swinger club where absolutely nothing happened.

  22. #22
    Swingers Board Addict Emt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by njbm View Post
    This is an excellent question. I take a Viagra pill 30 minutes before I play. At a couple for couple swap where we planned to play, no problem. At a house party, I have to wait for the meet and greet part to see if I think pay dirt is likely. For a club or event, hang out a little see where things are going and then take it. I figure I can dabble in making out and oral sex on the woman for 30 minutes while it is kicking in. I have wasted pills by taking them and then nothing happens. I have generic Viagra at $3/pill for dubious nights. You are going to waste some.

    Last year, I used Cialis for a week before and throughout a weekend at a nudist/swinger club where absolutely nothing happened.
    $3 a pill for generic Viagra?? I have generic Viagra that is either made by Pfizer or in their facility right along side the name brand....and it was a little over a buck a pill for a bottle of 30 100mg tabs at Walmart ($40) with GoodRX...seriously look into it! It's as simple as click, print, and hand to the pharmacy. My insurance wanted to restrict me to 8 pills every month. I've only used half a pill in the last month (unfortunately) but it worked like a charm and let me go for 2 hours straight and that was just with my wife. Full confidence that I'll be able to go for 3-4 hours no problem. Well...only problem being we need to find a couple or two that want to play with us first.

    But ok...so at a club...wait and see if sex is even likely...THEN take it. So my wife was right.

    Thanks

  23. #23
    Swingers Board Addict adamgunn's Avatar
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    "But ok...so at a club...wait and see if sex is even likely...THEN take it. So my wife was right."

    For me, it takes an hour or so to get Viagra to an effective performance level. So if you think you are going to play in 15 minutes, it's a little late. And besides, even if another woman doesn't take advantage of you, your wife will! Isn't it worth $1 to make her happy?

  24. #24
    Swingers Board Addict njbm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Emt View Post
    $3 a pill for generic Viagra?? I have generic Viagra that is either made by Pfizer or in their facility right along side the name brand....and it was a little over a buck a pill for a bottle of 30 100mg tabs at Walmart ($40) with GoodRX...seriously look into it! It's as simple as click, print, and hand to the pharmacy. My insurance wanted to restrict me to 8 pills every month. I've only used half a pill in the last month (unfortunately) but it worked like a charm and let me go for 2 hours straight and that was just with my wife. Full confidence that I'll be able to go for 3-4 hours no problem. Well...only problem being we need to find a couple or two that want to play with us first.

    But ok...so at a club...wait and see if sex is even likely...THEN take it. So my wife was right.

    Thanks
    The pill I use is 100mg. It’s $3/pill in New Jersey. Our health insurer does not cover it at all. It’s still far cheaper than original Viagra at $40 per pill. I will check on Walmart.

  25. #25
    can you buy online hese 3 dollar pills without prescrtion
    thanks
    Quote Originally Posted by Emt View Post
    $3 a pill for generic Viagra?? I have generic Viagra that is either made by Pfizer or in their facility right along side the name brand....and it was a little over a buck a pill for a bottle of 30 100mg tabs at Walmart ($40) with GoodRX...seriously look into it! It's as simple as click, print, and hand to the pharmacy. My insurance wanted to restrict me to 8 pills every month. I've only used half a pill in the last month (unfortunately) but it worked like a charm and let me go for 2 hours straight and that was just with my wife. Full confidence that I'll be able to go for 3-4 hours no problem. Well...only problem being we need to find a couple or two that want to play with us first.

    But ok...so at a club...wait and see if sex is even likely...THEN take it. So my wife was right.

    Thanks


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