First experience in the bag!

Whew! I'm so grateful for all of your posts, as I learned so much leading up to our first time. All I can say is, what on earth took me so long!?

My partner and I are a relatively new couple, only 4 years in, but we've known each other on and off since we were children. He has been in the lifestyle for 20 years, but has been monogamish with me since we've been together. It became very clear, very early on, that he would prefer for us to have a sexually diverse future together. Having just come out of a poly marriage, I was hesitant.

I mean, I had every excuse in the book. I had no interest in another cock, I had no interest in eating pussy, I was slightly terrified that it would tear us apart like it did my marriage, that I couldn't handle it, that my cellulite is gross, that we were too early on in our relationship, that we would contract some horrific STD, that I would burst into tears mid-fuckery...all of it. We're so spoiled rotten with the hot sex that we have daily, why, WHYYYY did we need to do this!? He gently listened through all the freakouts, while still encouraging me to manage our AFF account and 'just talk to people'. So in the end, it was me who ended up making the plans. Smart man, keeping his ass in line so nothing could come back on him if it went poorly~ ha!

We live in a very small town, with no clubs available, so we ended up planning a weekend at a hotel with perfect strangers. While they were lovely, it did not exactly go smoothly~ an unexpected STD reveal, the dreaded ED, and my not being terribly attracted to the guy even though he was super sweet, intelligent and attractive. That said, it was hot. Having someone have sex on the same bed as us, us women playing, and quite frankly, to see my man with another woman was out of control sexy.

To add all sorts of whipped cream on top, the woman joined us on her own the following day which was...oh my.

Anywho~ what I learned is this. I am desperately in love with this man, and he is hopelessly in love with me. Now that we have officially begun swinging, I can say with the utmost certainty that we are even stronger. To be able to express our desires without fear, to push past hurdles with clear communication, and to truly be on the same team is so fucking cool. I felt so cared for during our time with this other couple. His glances at me, checking in. The squeeze of my hand while he was passionately kissing another woman...and oh dear god the sex we've had for days afterwards. I'm sure there are all sorts of nightmare stories, and we are lucky to have had a great first experience. I do have to say, I am damn proud of myself for deciding to jump in. It has awoken a part of me that I didn't realize existed. It has enriched my relationship with my partner, and opened up a whole new world of passion and desire.

Because hell if any of us should deny ourselves conscious and respectful pleasure. The only reason not to, is fear. Fuck fear.