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  1. #1

    Default What do you think?

    Bear and I were invited to a house party by a couple we had only seen a couple times at a LS club - he contacted us through SLS. We were curious and like our profile states we are soft play. When we arrived our conversation was easy and the hosting couple told us that a few weeks prior the wife had 4 men at the same time while the husband watched. They said what a great experience it was and my husband again made it clear we enjoy watching - we enjoy being watched and we soft play with other couples.

    Throughout the night the wife kept paying extra attention to Bear - squeezing his thighs - sitting almost in his lap - during a game of Adult Spin the Bottle (there were 7 couples) she was directed to give all the men - who were now naked - a lap dance - she was naked by this point also - when it was Bears turn she grinded on him extra long with bouncing. After that Bear realized she was looking for more than he wanted to give and we wound up leaving.

    Few days later the host gave us a positive shout out but he was complimenting me mostly- how sexy I am - how beautiful I am. Then he texted Bear wanting to get together this past weekend and telling him how hot Rabbit is.

    The whole time we were at the party I didnít think this guy was attracted to me at all - he barely spoke to me beyond the initial greeting. So his compliments were a surprise. However the way his wife was making it obvious she wanted to do Bear I have thought maybe it was just their way to get us to hang again so she could try again with Bear.

    Other than trying to politely decline her advances we enjoyed the party - it was just crazy fun and Iím not sure if anyone had sex that night cause we left at 2am and no one was doing anything.

    Anyway I just wanted some opinions on this since we may have been in the LS for 4 years now but still have had very limited experiences.


  2. #2
    Swingers Board Addict Wornsilver's Avatar
    Status
    Couple, he posts

    Default Re: What do you think?

    Pushy people do not fare well in my universe. Because of my distaste for people that want to bully or push me, this couple would be history. Fully admit I have little patience for that type of behavior.

  3. #3

    Default Re: What do you think?

    Quote Originally Posted by Wornsilver View Post
    Pushy people do not fare well in my universe. Because of my distaste for people that want to bully or push me, this couple would be history. Fully admit I have little patience for that type of behavior.
    Maybe thatís it - Iím anti-pushy people also. There were other women giving Bear some sexy attention but they always asked me first so I didnít feel territorial or jealous.

  4. #4
    Swingers Board Addict alexandsandra's Avatar
    Status
    married couple

    Default Re: What do you think?

    I think the fact you chose to leave, tells you everything you need to know.

    Yet, if it was crazy fun......

  5. #5

    Default Re: What do you think?

    Quote Originally Posted by alexandsandra View Post
    I think the fact you chose to leave, tells you everything you need to know.

    Yet, if it was crazy fun......
    Like I posted- it was our first house party and we didnít know what to expect but we know our limitations. If you can believe it all of us couples played 3 hours of Adult Spin the Bottle- 3 hours!!! By hour 2 everyone was naked but it just never went further and so after the hostess rubbed her goodies all over Bears lap he had enough. But everyone had been laughing and joking and drinking so it was fun.

  6. #6

    Default Re: What do you think?

    I know of two separate times in my life when my instincts have saved my life. One involved a man with a gun, the other involved a wrong way driver on a freeway. Neither incident did I have prior indications or knowledge of, neither would have been survived if I hadn’t taken action to avoid them before knowing about the threat. There may have been other times that I escaped without even knowing that there was a threat but those two times it later became obvious what would have happened.

    I said that to say this. I don’t think I have any special talent or skill when it comes to instincts, I think everybody has the same talent. There are just people that pay attention to those feelings and people that don’t. If you feel that you’re in danger, or that something isn’t right, then do what you need to do to extradite yourself from that situation immediately. Don’t worry about what other people might think, about what’s politically correct, or what’s fashionable. If you don’t think it’s right, it probably isn’t.

    In this case, you went to a party, before arriving you expressed your boundaries and the scope of your participation. From your post, it sounded as if you were friendly and participated in the festivities to the limit of your boundaries. You owe the host no more than that. If you felt the atmosphere wasn’t what you expected or what you were comfortable with you were right to leave. It’s not unusual for hosts of private party’s to attempt to persuade guests to expand their boundaries into those of the host. If you’re not comfortable with that, a simple thanks but no thanks is in order as you head for the door.

  7. #7

    Default Re: What do you think?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tahoecple View Post

    In this case, you went to a party, before arriving you expressed your boundaries and the scope of your participation. From your post, it sounded as if you were friendly and participated in the festivities to the limit of your boundaries. You owe the host no more than that. If you felt the atmosphere wasnít what you expected or what you were comfortable with you were right to leave. Itís not unusual for hosts of private partyís to attempt to persuade guests to expand their boundaries into those of the host. If youíre not comfortable with that, a simple thanks but no thanks is in order as you head for the door.
    I forgot this part...yes we clearly stated our boundaries- a few times and itís in our SLS profile...the hosting couples profile also says they are a soft swap couple. So when the host started telling us about the 4 men his wife had a few weeks ago we were confused. At one point during the evening I went to the bathroom and when I went back to where Bear was the wife was telling him how she enjoys being tied up and gagged. I just wish they were upfront with their profile and what they expected from their guests. We still would have gone but been more prepared.

  8. #8
    Swingers Board Addict agreatguy's Avatar
    Status
    Couple - Man posting

    Default Re: What do you think?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bear&Rabbit View Post
    I forgot this part...yes we clearly stated our boundaries- a few times and it’s in our SLS profile...the hosting couples profile also says they are a soft swap couple. So when the host started telling us about the 4 men his wife had a few weeks ago we were confused. At one point during the evening I went to the bathroom and when I went back to where Bear was the wife was telling him how she enjoys being tied up and gagged. I just wish they were upfront with their profile and what they expected from their guests. We still would have gone but been more prepared.
    We had a very similar experience with our first date. The couple was not at all who they represented themselves to be online.

    This is not unlike vanilla dating. Guys and gals say what they think you want to hear based on your profiles in hopes of getting laid or even getting married. You spend hours crafting a perfectly worded bio that leaves no room for misinterpretation. Then you spend hours browsing other profiles looking for a match. Then you spend days flirting and communicating back and forth, finally setting up a M&G and the other couple isn't who they told you they were, don't respect your limits and act as if you did something wrong. It can get frustrating. It did to the point with us that we just don't even go online.

    That wasn't said to give you despair rather it was said to give you hope. We originally(me more specifically) referred to these obstacles as failures but that's been redefined. We don't have failures anymore. When we get to have sex with others it is a payoff but overcoming these obstacles and growing as a couple and individually because of it are the greatest successes in this hobby of ours.

  9. #9

    Default Re: What do you think?

    I completely agree with you. Some people (men and women) feel it is perfectly ok to be pushy in the lifestyle. When a woman is falling all over my husband, there's a good chance I will say not happening. When people are respectful and treat you as a couple it's totally different. There are some women on this forum that don't agree, and that's fine. Just giving my opinion. If you want people to like you, be likeable!


  10. #10

    Default Re: What do you think?

    Quote Originally Posted by samandtammi View Post
    I completely agree with you. Some people (men and women) feel it is perfectly ok to be pushy in the lifestyle. When a woman is falling all over my husband, there's a good chance I will say not happening. When people are respectful and treat you as a couple it's totally different. There are some women on this forum that don't agree, and that's fine. Just giving my opinion. If you want people to like you, be likeable!
    If someone isnít going to respect you outside of sex then they wonít respect you during sex.

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