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JoshuaKing

We are married for 20 years. If another guy fucks my wife, I'm a bad guy?

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Our head is very confused in this regard. We have two children. Please write down your recommendations... thanks.

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Lol

 

What do you mean here? if some fucked your wife why are you the bad guy?

Are wanting to try out swing and just not sure or? please give more info so we can try to help explain or what ever it is your looking for.

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Precautions were taken toward the end that your will has little chance of becoming pregnant = you're a good guy.

 

You recommend no precaution of this kind = you're a bad guy.

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Why would you be in this context (LS)? In the eyes of others outside of the LS they may see you as so but look... first time and second time if both parties are open, have a great deal of communication there should be no issue. Sounds as though you are jealous and this is not good for this LS. Everyone is " a little" at first...

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I don't think you will find a lot of people here that agree with that statement. In fact, the majority of men in the lifestyle will probably tell you that sharing their wife with another man is an act of love and devotion, enabling their spouse to experience things that are not possible in monogamy.

 

I assume you both are considering dipping your toes in and probably morally conflicted, as my wife and I certainly were at first. This is not for everyone, communicate with your wife and share your thoughts with her.

 

Jealousy is much more of a problem early on, and we had ours at first. It's like a speedbump and once you are over it, hold on!

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"In fact, the majority of men in the lifestyle will probably tell you that sharing their wife with another man is an act of love and devotion, enabling their spouse to experience things that are not possible in monogamy."

 

Not us!!!! It's just not that complicated or spiritual. We like a bit of variety, we like orgasms and we like sharing them with friends. Our recreational sex has nothing to do with an act of love or devotion. It's FUN. The love and devotion is what we have at home when sex actually means something.

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If you let your wife have the sex she wants, with guys or women, you're a really good husband.

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Our head is very confused in this regard. We have two children. Please write down your recommendations... thanks.

 

Again no... to some of your friends (why should they know) you may be seen as one. Confusing yes if you ask others outside of the LS and if you are not sure you are emotionally ready for it.

 

Look most of us have gone through some level of doubt / concern. TBH My wife is awesome... gorgeous, smart, active, everyone loves her (no pun) but for me it is about her enjoying herself, sex, showing that sexual animal that has become pseudo dormant over our 20 yr relationship.

 

When we first asked some good friends about the LS (they told us in confidence) I was floored but then opened up and became more comfortable sexually. His wife was like mine... we broke down those walls gently.

 

The first time seeing her in a threesome with me and another guy was harrowing but erotic and exciting. She so enjoyed herself. When she played solo ( next to me) at a party as the guys were lining up and the first time seeing her really knock down those walls by her body movements, expressions and more I was floored again. I felt dirty, then great for letting this happen or wanting this.

 

I still recall the first cock entering her vagina slowly and the first time some one other than me came inside her. Super erotic... So no you are not a bad person but need to get in touch with your real feelings.

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I'm a little confused by the question, for example, not sure what having kids has to do with anything. But anyway.

 

To begin with: I don't own my wife, or her body, or her sexuality. If she 'gets fucked by another [person]' then that is because she is fully invested and consenting in that fucking. The only way it reflects negatively on me is if she chooses to do so in a way that is contrary to our relationship's ethical foundation - and then it's not a reflection on me personally, but rather on the relationship itself.

 

We've decided that sex with others is a possibility, with the understanding that:

 

a) We will be honest with each other.

b) We will be open with each other.

c) We will follow a shared set of safer sex practices.

 

If she were to say to me: "I want to fuck that person", my response is: "Need anything from me?"

 

D

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