Decoder Rings & Secret Handshakes... lol

I don't know about everyone else here on the board, but I'm feeling kinda frisky after reading all the flamethrow swinger-bashing comments from Oprah's congregation on her message board. While we feel the need to be discrete (after all, we do have kids and jobs and family, plus our sex life is really no one else's business unless we choose to make so) we are unashamed of our lifestyle. Kinda proud of it actually. So I'm ready to show my colours... discretely. Sort of like wearing a frilly black vibrating thong under a business suit

Ok, so maybe a secret handshake is a little lame but is there someplace I could find some really good swingers jewelry? The bitten apple, for example? I've found a few other sites that have jewelry like a moveable penis pendant (it goes from flaccid to erect when you pull the string ). That sort of thing might be easily guessable to the vanilla crowd, but something like the bitten apple is an insider thing. It can be explained one way or another. Any ideas out there?

The bitten apple is the NASCA symbol. I have enjoyed wearing mine for a few years now, and it definitely gives me a thrill every day, especially when out in public and people comment on it . You can go to http://www.nasca.com and under the marketing link there are numerous sites where you might find what your looking for.

Teresa

I really like the bitten apple symbol, it's really subtle, and not likely to be construed as some kind of sexual symbol by those who aren't in the lifestyle.

I'm still in the process of reading through the posts on Oprah's board

This is the last post I read:

What are all these online lifestyle communities about that I am reading in this thread? I've seen some sites mentioned a couple of times already. I've checked them out, and was surprised to see how easy it was to get my trial membership. I looked in my area and recognized someone I know. What's this world coming to? I'm tempted to spend the money to become a full member and find out how many of my neighbors are involved in this unacceptable behavior. I know my friends will feel the same way when I tell them about the discovery I've made through these sites. Maybe we should start a neighborhood protest to protect our children. Thank you lifestyle sites for your easy access and assistance. I'm spreading the word.

Scary.

~Kat

 

This is the last post I read:

What are all these online lifestyle communities about that I am reading in this thread? I've seen some sites mentioned a couple of times already. I've checked them out, and was surprised to see how easy it was to get my trial membership. I looked in my area and recognized someone I know. What's this world coming to? I'm tempted to spend the money to become a full member and find out how many of my neighbors are involved in this unacceptable behavior. I know my friends will feel the same way when I tell them about the discovery I've made through these sites. Maybe we should start a neighborhood protest to protect our children. Thank you lifestyle sites for your easy access and assistance. I'm spreading the word.

 

Scary.

 

~Kat

The indignation kills me. Protect their children from what? It's not like any ody's doing anything with the children. Because of busy-bodies and lookie-loos like that, we don't have identifying pics on our profile, nor any indicator of who we are. I had to giggle when she said that she knows her friends will feel the sam way. Hmmmmm, does she really? Perhaps her friends just don't have pics up or only meet people at clubs.

The indignation kills me. Protect their children from what? It's not like any ody's doing anything with the children. Because of busy-bodies and lookie-loos like that, we don't have identifying pics on our profile, nor any indicator of who we are. I had to giggle when she said that she knows her friends will feel the sam way. Hmmmmm, does she really? Perhaps her friends just don't have pics up or only meet people at clubs.

She might be shocked if she only knew.

Stuff like this only reinforces the need for discretion.

Makes you wonder when people will start standing out in front of clubs

to "see who's going in".

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Now there's a signature line

Well, this certainly gets interesting. Since when is anything that adults do in their bedroom honestly any business of the neighbor's, except if it involves kids? I can fully understand the sexual offender notices, I wouldn't want my kids around those people.

A lot of swingers we know go out of their way to hide their lifestyle from their kids. It's called responsible parenting.

You know, I wonder what it would be like to put a spy-cam in this lady's bedroom and see what kind of antics she's up to in the privacy of her own bedroom.

Well, this certainly gets interesting. Since when is anything that adults do in their bedroom honestly any business of the neighbor's, except if it involves kids? I can fully understand the sexual offender notices, I wouldn't want my kids around those people.

 

A lot of swingers we know go out of their way to hide their lifestyle from their kids. It's called responsible parenting.

 

You know, I wonder what it would be like to put a spy-cam in this lady's bedroom and see what kind of antics she's up to in the privacy of her own bedroom.

I found the link and I would say these people are in the minority, at least in the first few pages of post.

It has been my experience that those who are the quickest to judge on religious gounds are usually guilty of more than a little "sinning" themselves.

Not always, but enough to make me suspicious, when someone wears their religion on their sleeve, they are usually trying to compensate for something.

Screw'm

I found the link and I would say these people are in the minority, at least in the first few pages of post.

 

It has been my experience that those who are the quickest to judge on religious gounds are usually guilty of more than a little "sinning" themselves.

Not always, but enough to make me suspicious, when someone wears their religion on their sleeve, they are usually trying to compensate for something.

Screw'm

The first few pages of the post are mainly lifestylers who posted before the show aired. If you get to the posts that start after the show aired, that's where the flames begin. I really have nothing else to do at work today . . . I'm through post 750 of 1230 right now . . .

I went back to the board and started at the last post and worked backwards for a while. I alternated between, laughter, disgust, and anger.

I have had my belief in the necessity of discretion reinforced.

Maybe we should start a neighborhood protest to protect our children.

Keep in mind that these flamethrowers are the exact same people who are all up in arms about Janet Jackson's breast. LOL These people are terrified because sex with other people WOULD destroy their lives. While on the other hand, lifestyle'rs revel in the very activity that would totally destroy the naysayer’s relationships. People are afraid of what they can not understand. They can not relate to being 100% honest with their SO. They don’t want to hear that their spouse is unhappy with being sexually repressed. They don’t want their SO to admit that they have fantasies. Don’t be angry, just pity the poor soles because they are living in their own private hell and don’t even know it.

I really like the bitten apple symbol, it's really subtle, and not likely to be construed as some kind of sexual symbol by those who aren't in the lifestyle.

 

I'm still in the process of reading through the posts on Oprah's board

 

This is the last post I read:

What are all these online lifestyle communities about that I am reading in this thread? I've seen some sites mentioned a couple of times already. I've checked them out, and was surprised to see how easy it was to get my trial membership. I looked in my area and recognized someone I know. What's this world coming to? I'm tempted to spend the money to become a full member and find out how many of my neighbors are involved in this unacceptable behavior. I know my friends will feel the same way when I tell them about the discovery I've made through these sites. Maybe we should start a neighborhood protest to protect our children. Thank you lifestyle sites for your easy access and assistance. I'm spreading the word.

 

Scary.

 

~Kat

Aw, heck, I think that one's just a troll. It's too cliche and over the top. Someone is having a bit of fun, I think.

Anyway, let's not get all worked up about those sorts of folks. We thought they'd all approve or something? We need to protect our rights, that's for sure, but don't let 'em raise your blood pressure, they're not worth it. Besides, it's more fun to taunt them and watch them get all red-faced...not that I would do that or anything.

-B

TNT said:

The bitten apple is the NASCA symbol. I have enjoyed wearing mine for a few years now, and it definitely gives me a thrill every day, especially when out in public and people comment on it . You can go to http://www.nasca.com and under the marketing link there are numerous sites where you might find what your looking for.

 

Teresa

I don't see this on the page. I think I saw something about an anklet, anyone ever heard of this?

NaughtyKatt said:

 

This is the last post I read:

What are all these online lifestyle communities about that I am reading in this thread? I've seen some sites mentioned a couple of times already. I've checked them out, and was surprised to see how easy it was to get my trial membership. I looked in my area and recognized someone I know. What's this world coming to? I'm tempted to spend the money to become a full member and find out how many of my neighbors are involved in this unacceptable behavior. I know my friends will feel the same way when I tell them about the discovery I've made through these sites. Maybe we should start a neighborhood protest to protect our children. Thank you lifestyle sites for your easy access and assistance. I'm spreading the word.

 

Scary.

 

~Kat

I saw that post too, Kat, and it scares the hell out of me. Who do these people think they are?? I've posted quite a few times there as 'cdnswing' but to no avail. It's a frightening world we live in.

curiousagain said:

Not always, but enough to make me suspicious, when someone wears their religion on their sleeve, they are usually trying to compensate for something.

Screw'm

I couldn't agree more. I'm a Christian, but I don't go out on a daily crusade trying to convert the wicked. I've got enough sin in my own life to deal with without worrying about what the Jones' are doing behind closed doors. Not to spark another debate, but I don't feel that in the end God will disapprove of what my husband and I choose to do together, as it only enriches our marriage, which is a sacred relationship. And we only associate with other couples who are similarly minded. Sex isn't the issue; dishonourable intentions and deception of one's partner are.

hotsummers said:

... These people are terrified because sex with other people WOULD destroy their lives. While on the other hand, lifestyle'rs revel in the very activity that would totally destroy the naysayer’s relationships. People are afraid of what they can not understand. They can not relate to being 100% honest with their SO. They don’t want to hear that their spouse is unhappy with being sexually repressed. They don’t want their SO to admit that they have fantasies. Don’t be angry, just pity the poor soles because they are living in their own private hell and don’t even know it.

I think that monogamy works just fine for some folks and it's not a matter of denial. It's just a choice they've made. As long as they're both happy with the arrangement - truly happy - and there is good communication and intimacy, monogamy works just fine, too. But you're right, there ARE lots of these people on there with VERY close-minded attitudes, swearing that they'll never believe that swinging can do anything but destroy lives. They swear up and down that we're sexually voracious and can think of nothing else but getting laid when in fact it's the very opposite. Don't you love some of the posts? "Have you ever thought about how you're spreading STD's???", "What about if somebody gets pregnant, hmm? What then?", "These people care nothing about their partners", "They have no respect for themselves", "Their vows mean nothing to them", "Why bother being married in the first place if all you want to do is whore around?", "This is a sexual addiction", "Deviants", "Perverted", "Something is obviously missing in their marriage", "True intimacy is only possible in a completely monogamous relationship", and my favorite: "Will somebody PLEASE think of the CHILDREN??!!" LOL What a crock.

This is something that I really wanted to post over there whenever someone would ask why we get married in the first place, or where is the intimacy:

If their idea of marriage is based on sex alone, that is a sad marriage indeed. Sex is a wonderful part of our marriage, but I didn't get married because he's good in bed. I married my husband because he is my best friend, because we laugh together and cry together, because we share similar interests and have fun little arguements about our differences in opinions when it come to sports teams, music and chick flicks. I love watching him play with our spoiled rotten dog and one day I'll watch him with our children. I love his family, as crazy as they may be; and they have always been wonderful to me. We were high school sweethearts that went through a whole bunch of drama and eventually ended up together again. I never want to live my life without him again. He knows just the way I like to be kissed, and I know how gets completely focused on hockey for the whole day before he has a game. He knows just how I like my eggs in the morning, and I know the weird way he eats pancakes. He'll gladly come with me to yard sales and help me dig for those hidden treasures - toys that remind me of my childhood. I understand those times when he just wants to be a slob and sit in front of the TV all afternoon. That is our intimacy. These are things that our other partners will never really know or understand about us. Sex is such a minor part of our lives - a wonderful part, but a small part of ourselves that we choose to share with others.

Wow. I really wrote a novel there!

These people don't get it. Finding people to have sex with is easy. Finding someone who will stick with you through thick and thin and be there through good and bad, Now that is difficult. You don't bond because you orgasm together. You bond because you go through life together. You have to remember, these are often people who see sex as "sacred" or a "duty", not as a fun pastime. They cannot begin to comprehend what others do naturally without regret or jealousy.

good response Katt so did you get to post it over their?

Okay, Okay there really isn't one but wanted some attention to this topic. There have been a few threads recently asking about various things swingers are alleged to do to identify themselves as swingers to others.

The nasca apple, an ankle bracelet etc....

So in reality is there anything swingers in your area may do to id one another? Are these all just urban myths? Is it a throw back to when we were kids and we put a special mark on our hands (with pen) to show we belonged to a certain group?

If there are signals around here I'm out of the loop completely lol.

Okay, Okay there really isn't one but wanted some attention to this topic. There have been a few threads recently asking about various things swingers are alleged to do to identify themselves as swingers to others.

Hey, my hubby was acosted by a woman at a M&G because he didn't know what her ring meant. Let me explain, she was wearing a ring on her hand (not sure left or right, thinking right) and asked him "you know what this is, right???". When he said "NO", she declared him "not a real swinger, because all REAL swingers know what this is and what it means". Then began our search for the ring, when we couldn't find the ring on the net, we then questioned it in the sls chatroom. Most of the people there had never heard of it, and chalked her up to being "full of sh**. Since then we just laugh about it. Though it would be nice to have something low-key (like a ring) to identify ourselves!

Jim & Jan

Last night in Columbus SLS had a "party" at Whiskey Dick's bar and grill. I couldn't go cause I was sick and Jon was out of town, but apparently if you wore a rubber band on your wrist...just a plain old brown rubber band...that marked you as a swinger for the night, since "normal" people would be there watching the Buckeye game and drinking as well.

I think perhaps each little group sets up it's own decoder rings for each little meeting.

I don't see this on the page. I think I saw something about an anklet, anyone ever heard of this?

The pin is free with membership. I'm not sure if you cn order it seperately.

mrs. njcouple

The problem of the "secret" object to identify people out in the real world whom you don't know already as swingers, is keeping that piece of i.d. secret within the swinger community and unavailable to anyone who might use knolwedge of somebody's swinger status against them. I would think many folks who don't post sensitive information about themselves or readily identifying photos on swinger sites, would be very reluctant to to wear a "sign" out in public. I guess you could just claim ignorant coincidence if exposed, but.......

warkman said:

The problem of the "secret" object to identify people out in the real world whom you don't know already as swingers, is keeping that piece of i.d. secret within the swinger community and unavailable to anyone who might use knowledge of somebody's swinger status against them. I would think many folks who don't post sensitive information about themselves or readily identifying photos on swinger sites, would be very reluctant to to wear a "sign" out in public. I guess you could just claim ignorant coincidence if exposed, but.......

I agree. We've seen lots of cool shirts, jewelry, and such, but we are just not that eager to announce to the world that we have sex with other people. It seems those that want to lead the witch hunt the most would be the ones that would find out the secret symbol.

We had a party the other weekend - dinner with vanilla friends but one of them showed up without his wife (she was in TN as he was here to check the FL house for the weekend) wearing a t-shirt saying:

FRIEND (with benefits)

So either he's broadcasting to us about something or he is just being smart.

If his wife knew what the shirt meant, I'm sure she'd burn it - perhaps with him in it. For what I know of her, she gets 'spoken to' when there's not enough action in the bedroom and can't see her EVER considering swing (Mid-westerner..sleeps with the bible over her head).

I sure as heck wouldn't wear it in public unless there was a match that said something along the lines of "he's with me" with a very satisfied smiley.