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Corinne

Does size really matter?

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Hello,

 

Let me introduce myself first, I am a 31 year old, happily married woman, my husband is 35 and we started swinging about 3 years ago. We have met couples, had a 3-some (mfm) and also "fly solo" so to say.

 

Lately something has been really bothering my husband, and that is the size of his penis. He is about 5 1/2in erect, and he is getting a real inferiority complex about that, to the point that at our last mfm he had problems keeping it hard, because the other guy was about 8in.

I have to say that my husband is a wonderful lover, he has never left me unsatisfied in any way, and none of the women he's ever been with complaint, but well...you know how men can be!

 

I have recently started chatting with a guy who is quite big, he would love to get with me, but also have a 3-some or 4-some with my husband involved...he absolutely refuses. He says he has no problem with me meeting up with the guy, but is this really such a big ego thing for men?

 

Of course I won't force him to do anything he wouldn't' be comfortable with, but is there anything else I can do to make him feel better?

 

Maybe some of you out there (guys and gals) could write some words of encouragement for him, that he is not the only one who isn't a stallion?

Well, reading through this babbling I don't know what you could actually tell me! lol

 

Thanks for all your help in advance.

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I'm usually the "short man" in the room when we swing with a couple or group. But, I've found out there are other things to worry about, other than my dick length. IE thickness goes a long way in making up for length ;) And the tongue, can make the night one to remember if used correctly.

 

It's entirely a male thing. Not much you can do there, except hang with it. I wouldn't recommend surgery, especially after reading follow ups from people who had the surgery. Maggie gave up 3 extra inches when she met me (as opposed to her ex), and she's still here 2 years later. So of course that does do something good for the ego of us short folks :D Me in particular. :D

 

If you're looking to help ease his mind. Try some ALUM...Then see if he still thinks it's too small.

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I am not the longest stick in the woodbox either but have had very few complaints (1 from a lady married to a horse, my wife complained he was to big. Also he couldn't get it in or keep it up. Guess who had more fun that night LMAO :D )I agree with other posts here, the way you use it is more important than size but i may be prejudiced. Just tell him or show him that others have this problem and we don't find that it is a PROBLEM :D

Ken

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Well, I'm going to give an opposing view. While I've had good sex with many men who were average, I prefer very large men. I find that, besides the difference in feeling, there is a very sexy visual aspect involved. Also, I think larger men have less sensitivity in the head of their penises, and tend to last a good bit longer. All the marathon men I've been with have been bigger than average. The only downside is as someone mentioned earlier, some large men have trouble keeping it up. Not too many though, I'm too good.

Mrs. Argosy

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I think it really depends on the woman. I'm your standard, average six-incher, so I've wondered if my wife preferred the sometimes larger men she was with, (she always seems irritated when I ask about such things as if they weren't important to anyone but me), she said big wasn't all it is cracked up to be, and she much preferred mine because it "fits" her so well. I asked if she had to pick one besides mine, she was at a loss but eventually picked another 6-incher, because of the way it was used, not the girth and length specifications it had to meet.

 

You can read various surveys from women stating size isn't their number one quality in a good lover (but a good bonus) or you can read anatomical advice that the woman's most sensitive area is the first few inches of the vagina and the external clitoris and that, although it stretches to accommodate any size, a vagina is only 5 inches deep or so. But really the only way to not be jealous of the donkey dong over there is to have a partner who truly wants you for you and can therefore only be truly excited by you. You'll never know if she is lying about the big ones not being better than yours just to spare your feelings, but it's probably true.

 

Connie, you didn't say how you truly felt, IS he too small? Or are the big ones nice, but they can't compete with a full-time lover who knows your body and what you like so well?

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Thanks for all the input. I know the problem is really a psychological one, the same problem when I see a woman with a great body and I feel selfconscious about mine.

Matt, no, I don't think he is too small, but I won't lie and say that I don't like bigger ones too. Just as I would never weed out any women with bigger breasts than me (even though that is hardly possible)he would never weed out a guy because he has a bigger dick than him. but I can tell that it irks him, so that makes me hesitant to pick someone much bigger than him.

Well, I guess I just have to keep talking to him, and let him know that he is a great lover, hung or not, and hopefully we will be able to have some more adventures soon!

Thanks again,

Corinne

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Matt??? "Connie" Hasn't added her two cents to this post LOL...but since I'm here I guess I will...LOL I judge by performance mostly..I have had 10 inchers that were 4 stroke wonders and I've had 5 or 6 inchers that were AWESOME...I have had the big boys 8 and over that were very skilled and also the little guys that were duds...it's the MAN..not the dick size that makes the lover..it's mental as well as physical...experience, attitude...all that counts...

 

I have found that a thick Dick..haha..feels much better to me than a skinny one..regarless of the length

 

My personal dick (Ron) is perfect..for me...he's about 7 and half to 8 fully erect and very thick with just a slight bend to the left which hits my "spot" bullseye dead on from just about any position...I do believe we were made for each other..LOL

 

So, big..small...it's all in the man behind the meat....IMHO

 

Connie

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I guess I can't complain about what I have. Although, I'd like to wake up Christmas morning with an extra 2 or 3 inches. ;)

 

Lord knows I spend a lot of time at our local "toy store". I've even suggested getting an "extension" :D But, I get axed on that idea every time LMAO

 

I personally think that the current "Male" mentality comes from many differant things.

#1 Childhood comparisons

#2 Reading too many magazines geared toward "Real men"...Hell most men I know are about the same size I am, I like to think I'm a real man.

#3 Watching too many porn movies with HIGHLY payed and UNUSUALLY large men.

#4 Pissed off women, that always know where to stick the knife the deepest LOL

 

If I remember correct, it was "Long Dong Silver" who complained about the size of his tool, and it was BIG. He never was able to completely get it inside. I can certianly see that line of thinking too!

 

Only being able to get half or less of my length in, would be like cooking steaks, then cutting the meat off the bone. Then just knawing on the bones while everyone else, eats the meat. :(

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Hey,,,,I thought the whole point of this was to have your wife/girlfriend enjoy something "different". I would get plessure watching her with a guy who is bigger than me. I guess I thought that was the whole point, seeing her pleased!!!

 

I dont know if Cornnie should meet with this well hung guy until they work it out. Just do guys with similar sizes until he figures out its not a big deal.. .. .. Just my thoughts.

 

Am I missing something????

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Originally posted by Brian:

Just do guys with similar sizes until he figures out its not a big deal.. .. .. Just my thoughts.

 

Am I missing something????

 

You missed something. What's she supposed to do? Ask for a look at the equipment first? Which she would naturally get from an online response, without asking. LMAO

 

Of all the socials we've been to, I've only had a few actually check out the goods, before going back to our/their room. Which leads me to believe, it doesn't matter as much as we men think.

 

But, I do get asked about my oral abilities quiet a bit. Wonder where that comes from? ;)

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Yeah, but its still all about the pleasure thats shared together, right? I guess at a social it would make a diff. I guess stick to the net until its not a big deal anymore.. .. .. .. .

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Originally posted by danc694u:

I guess I can't complain about what I have.

#3 Watching too many porn movies with HIGHLY payed and UNUSUALLY large men.

#4 Pissed off women, that always know where to stick the knife the deepest..

it was "Long Dong Silver" who complained about the size of his tool, and it was BIG. He never was able to completely get it inside. Only being able to get half or less of my length in, would be like....

 

It is terrible what society has done to people. It has been a double edged sword. I can remember when women were oogled at for their breasts.Men ( generally ) liked big breasts. Ok. That bothered women very much, to the point of now having the breast implants. Because they felt that they were not big enough for the men. Now... the shoe is one the other foot, men feel inferior because of their size. Sad, but true. Society had drilled this into us. It is sad to me to see this going on, I wish it would stop.

My first husband was 9" and it wasn't worth it to me..the size didn't do anything. He was concerned for himself, not me. Besides..it was a bit too long and sometimes painful. :eek:

My husband now is much better, smaller a little , but much better. To me it is how you use it, not the length that counts. :D

I really don't know why some women prefer longer ones, really...i mean, you only have so much room.

And from what i hear, the men with the longer ones can't fit them all the way in, making it miserable for them. Not enjoyable that much to them either. Now..if i was a man, i would happy to be able to use what i had. :cool:

I always tell my husband how good he is .. :p making him feel happy with himself.

This is just my opinion...but i think love and praise go a long way. :)

Female half of FromFlorida

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Size definitely matters to me...but not in the way most guys think.

 

My honey is no bigger than average. However, I think this is *great*. There is one time and ONE time only when I like a large one (and even then, not *too* large). That is the woman on top position. I admit, a large one can feel VERY nice in that one position. Nicer than a small or average one in fact.

 

However, it just plain HURTS me any other way. So whenever my honey feels down about his size, I just say "Okay. You could be huge and I could be loving the woman on top sex. But then you would never get to be on top. You would never get to have it doggy style. And you would DEFINITELY never get to have anal sex!"

 

That makes him pretty happy about his size pretty quickly. Yeah, he sometimes gets bummed that other (bigger) guys can make the woman on top position feel better to me. But those other guys never get to do so MANY other things that he gets to do with me because they are just too big!

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It is psychological. Jeff is the average 5 1/2-6 inches and he can do wonder with it.Also can hold off for quite some time as well..so i dont agree with the statement that big lasts longer. Women have been pressured for many years to be skinnier to have larger breasts, to have a certain colour hair.it is no wonder we are so insecure about our bodies..men see all the staories about huge penises and feel they got gipped. No matter what they worry even thought they see that they can pleasure their women pretty darn good. But society says women want more (even though I havent talked to anyone who agrees) so the men feel they must have more..same thing with baldness it has become a taboo thing you MUST buy a toupee or get hair transplants..its all for the sake of a buck..if they can create an operation that would be highly sucessful in enlarging the penis they would make a fortune..so they are working on the market now..

 

Makes you think though..jeff and I go out to strip clubs and even thenhe lieks the real skinny girls with tight butts(yet he assures me that Im fine at my size) it can get to you if you allow it to.

 

An

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I enjoy watching my wife taking large penis's. She however has had the best orgasms concerning swinging with others with guys that somehow have good technique. Her favorite is a tad under 6 inches and not very thick, but man he can get her screaming.

I have learned a lot about what turns her on by watching the techniques that some others use. One of the many advantages of swinging.

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Originally posted by michigancouple:

Her favorite is a tad under 6 inches and not very thick, but man he can get her screaming.

 

We run into something like this a couple of months ago. The male part of the couple was a good solid 8 inches. But, the female half actually stated she prefered a shorter dick. She claimed it "hit" her in just the right spot.

 

Of course, I'm sure hubby had long realized this too. And, had probably been "short stroking" it for some time. He was equally happy to find someone who enjoyed all of what he had.

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Well, big is nice sometimes...but on a regular basis, no thank you...I really enjoy doggie style and like to be pounded...if the guy is really big it tends to hurt and pain is not something I get into. Also, I don't like oral with a really big man...it makes my jaw hurt.

 

To me hubby is the PERFECT size, shape, color, length, width. What can I say... I just love the man's dick, lol.

 

But like most men, he would like to be a tiny bit bigger...of course when the conversation comes up I just tell him, "Hey, if you were any bigger, even the slightest, tiniest bit bigger, there would be no anal".

 

Since he likes this, I think he feels his size is just fine like it is, lol. He has fun with it, I have fun with it, so basically that's all that really matters.

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Originally posted by TNT:

He has fun with it, I have fun with it, so basically that's all the really matters.

 

Amen :D

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Hi Corinne,

As a man, I know that penis size is VERY important to men. No man wants to be average or below average in any area of life including sex. I know of no man who wants to be shorter, slower, heavier, make less money, etc. than the average guy. Almost every guy who has an average size penis would like to be thicker and a couple inches longer. (I certainly would.) As men mature, they learn to accept who they are; however, it is still difficult when you are placed in a situation where you are face-to-face with people who excel in an area you do not. Your man definitely needs to talk this topic out with you. He needs to accept that you do not have to be the biggest, best, or brightest to enjoy playing the game.

Mike

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I would say that I have seen a lot of penis's (peni?) in my life and I find about 97% are roughly the same size!

 

When I see an ad from some guy claiming to be 11 inches (and 7.5 inches around!) it make me laugh because I sure have never seen one that size and wouldn't know what to do with it if I ever ran across such a thing

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Corinne,

 

You have asked a question that all men wonder about at one time or another. We are all told that penis size doesn't matter but we don't know whether or not to believe it. Worse than that we are told "it's not the size but what you do with it". Well, while this may be true, we all know that when talking about how pleasurable is a large penis this argument is not logically sound. Really what is being asked by the question "does penis size matter" is "if both guys use their penises equally well, does a bigger penis feel better". Further, most men really don't know what an average sized penis is. All of the statistics that we get are conflicting..ranging from 5.1 inches (UCSF study) to 6.4 inches (kiersy study). 1.3 inches doesn't seem like much by itself, but if you think in terms of percentage, a man with a 6.4 inch penis is 25% larger than a man with a 5.1 inch penis. That's a pretty big difference. (As a side bar, for those guys who are concerned, the UCSF study is more likely to be accurate as it was performed by a doctor who had measured his patients. The Kiersy study was done with participants being self-selected and self-measured without supervision). The conclusion here is that we all think about it and we are never quite sure what to believe.

 

As a prior poster said, we all would love to have a couple more inches and most of us feel that we would be better in bed if we did. There isn't much (if anything) that you can do to change that feeling in your husband. What you can do is make it clear that 1. your husband makes you feel better than anyone else sexually, regardless of penis size and 2. that you really enjoy his penis. I know what you are thinking, what is the difference between 1 and 2. With 1 you are talking about the fact that no one can please you as much as him because you are making love to him, not just sex. 2 talks about the fact that taken strickly sexually, his penis is very pleasurable. You could even go as far as to compliment it (our penises like compliments more than we do, haha).

 

I find that my wife finding pleasure in a large penised man is not threatening to me because I am aware that no matter what it can never be as pleasurable as what I can do for her.

 

I do have a side question for the men though. And you'll forgive me Corinne if I am highjacking your post. I think that it is relevant to your question. I'd like to know how the other guys feel about men with larger penises having sex with their wives and how these men feel about having sex with the wife of a man with a larger penis?

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Side question,,,,,

 

Well when I was married I prefered that she do guys with bigger *ocks, I thought that was the point at the time. It took a little while to find the right guy for her but when we did she liked it very much. Im 7" and he was somewhere around 8.5 to 9 inches, I didnt measure and we didnt ask.

Anyways just my thought.. .. .. .. ..

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I just wanted to thank all of you who took the time to read and post. I showed it to my husband, and while he is somewhat relived that most women really don't care too much about it, he is still a bit down.

But he asked me to clarify one thing, the fact of me being with a larger guy doesn't really bother him, it's the situation when he is in close proximity with a larger guy that gives him the complex. But he promised me that he is working on it, and it definitely helps when I tell him that he is the best for me, that only he knows how to really get me off! :D

So, thanks again!

Corinne

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Well, it probably doesn't help when he is told the average size penis is between 5 and 6 inches, yet nobody ever admits to having one that is average size. From all the stories and descriptions I have read, most men are apparently 7, 8 and 9 inches. Must be a lot of 3 and 4 inch members out there to bring the median down to 5 and 6. Or maybe they start measuring from the perineum to get these sizes...

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Originally posted by cplswng:

I'd like to know how the other guys feel about men with larger penises having sex with their wives and how these men feel about having sex with the wife of a man with a larger penis?

 

I get a complex LMAO..... Seriously though. I don't even worry about it any more. It's hard not to smile, when you get picked/prefered for oral, in a room full of bi women. :D

 

Shorter dick doesn't equal "bad in bed"

 

In it's proper prospective. A coke bottle is bigger. But, it's a lousy lover.

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Originally posted by pelagic argosy:

Nothing sexier than watching my wife working a huge dick into her, except maybe watching her get pounded with it.

 

I totally agree. Much of sexual excitement comes from visual stimulation, and men with large cocks certainly draw your attention.

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You know, as I had suspected. It seems to me that men are more obsessed with penis size than the women. From what I can tell, often it is the men who are looking for a large penis for their wives.

 

Corinne, could I ask you one question though. Could you tell me (us) exactly what it is about you being with a man with a larger penis that he doesn't like (I hope that isn't too personal as it gets to the core of the feeling).

 

Another comment that I had was that we men tend to think that women don't like anything less than a large penis. That's just not true. That's like saying that if we like large breasts then we don't like small breasts...we like all breasts. It is usually pretty comparable with penis size (with an exception being at the extremes).

 

I really do hope that your husband feels better. As a man, I really hate to see a guy down on himself because of his penis size, especially when the wife is so pleased with it.

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Originally posted by cplswng:

That's like saying that if we like large breasts then we don't like small breasts...we like all breasts

 

NOPE!!! Not true! I like small breast. :p

C-cup is borderline to big for me :D Anything larger, isn't sexually appealing at all.

 

David -- the goofy one

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Shhhhhhhhh !!!

 

Don't tell everybody LOL With so many guys (and some couples) liking the big ones. It leaves more to choose from. :D

 

You can call them left-overs or whatever. But, I call them...mmm mmm good :)

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Guest <NewToThisInPA>

My wife and I are new to this lifestyle and are very excited at the possibilities. Here is my deilmma. I am average 5 1/2 to 6 only. If we swing with a couple whose husband is much larger, will she enjoy me as much as my wife will enjoy his larger size? I feel I am a great lover otherwise. I also want to note that I am not very thick either.

Please advise as this concerns me immensly.

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Your measurements are identical to mind, and my wife could fit a horse!!!

 

It is extremely important that you understand that you're going to meet some stud monster out there. If that didn't cross your mind, you're in the wrong hobby.

 

Every couple is different. My wife likes the thick stubby variety, not that she doesn't mind an occasional "horse". Oral sex rules in this household. If you can't do that, then you have something to worry about.

 

I can't speak as to why you're swinging. I do know it's about being comfortable with being who and what you are, including your gifts and shortcomings.

 

And did it ever dawn on you some gals like you just the way you are! Size isn't everything. Unless you do porn for a living!

 

Then all of us would need 8 inches.

 

It isn't about a number. It's about what's in your mind!

 

Unless it's danc694u. He's certified nuts!

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Originally posted by SnittyKitty:

And did it ever dawn on you some gals like you just the way you are! Size isn't everything. Unless you do porn for a living!

 

Even in porn size isn't everything.. you have to be able to....

 

1. Get it up on command

2. Keep it up while being watched by a room full of sweaty guys, under extremely hot lights, while being told to stop fucking right when it's getting good.

3. oh yeah.. and Cum on command.

 

LOL. And you guys thought you wanted a career in porn...

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Julie, you are just too cool.

 

If I didn't have the perfect wife already, I'd want one just like you! :)

 

Cheers,

Husband of Alura

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The snitty kitty has a point about the size thing. I happen to be a little bitty thing. I have small breasts and a small opening. My husband is average in size and even then he has to be gentle with me or it is just too much for me. EVEN after having had 4 children. I have come to realize that Isatisfy my husband with my itty bitty breasts and that is all that matters. Everyone else can go climb a tree for all I care and my husband satisfies me. In fact, if he was a bit smaller, he could probably do so even more. It's not about quanity, its about quality!!! :D

 

The wife

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Its not about quantity, its about quality. I hear that so many times it is getting old. There are so many variables in attraction and tastes that it would be impossible to count.

 

A guy with a good cock that knows how to use it has both quality and quantity. If a girl doesn't like big cocks then who cares huh. A guy that is insecure about his cock size will likely subconciously demostrate his insecurity. That in itself may be unattractive. On the other hand a man with a small one may try to overcome it with acting macho and coming off like a bonifide idiot with a Napoleon complex.

Personally I have a very large cock. My wife likes it but she loves cocks that are about an inch or so smaller. She refuses to swing with guys that are my length out of fear of being hurt.

 

Cock size in swinging can be compared to how much money a guy has when a gal is looking for a mate. She may make that her no. 1 priority and end up with a totally miserable life but a big house and beautiful luxury car, condos and diamonds. But what the hell. Its how happy you are that counts.

 

As far as how you use it goes heres my feelings. You may think you know how to use it but you may not. Every woman has her particular likes and dislikes. If you arent asking her what she likes you are missing the boat in a lot of cases. If you have true talent you have an instinct but many women have very very particular likes. If you don't ask her how the heck will you know?

 

Many men stick anything they can into a vagina quickly and rub it like they are trying to start a fire. My wife HATES that. She needs a lot of external play. Some woman are totally opposite of course. Many women will not say "hey man you aren't doing it right". They are afraid of embarassing you. Ask her with every step on your first encounter. Don't interrogate her just whisper a question or two occasionally. Thats what has worked for me anyhow. John

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I can only state my opinion by my experience. Size might count to some woman but as for myself the power behind it and tenderness counts. I really don't think the bigger or longer or thicker you are makes a difference if the guy works it right....same senario with big rack its the seduction and working it right that counts

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Big Rack! I like that! Never heard it put like that before. The rest of your comments...right on! What I enjoy, is simply ask the gal what she likes! I know there is this mentality of sex like moose in rut! But two weeks ago, I got a request for slow, soft, tender...what I affectionately call crock pot style...slow & simmer. It works...this little thing call communicating.

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I must say that we pay a lot of attention to swing add's, and see a common issue. Couples looking for a single male, and we see a lot, what one that is well hung. Coupes, and a lot of times the ladies right the add's, discribe the man as well hung. I would have to say that most couples involved in swinging have a man that is hung, above average. I can also tell you, when in a real swingers "photo chat room", the couples with well hung men seem to get a lot of attention. So tell me if ladies don'y enjoy a well hung man now and then.

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Guest <OCEANS>

My husband has a very thick cock and I enjoy it very much. When I measured it fully errect it was 7.5 inches around. It is only 6.5" long but wow does it feel good when it is in me. When we are with other couples the men normaly have longer cocks then him but much thinner and it never feels that good. I mainly like the thinner ones for anal sex. How do the other ladies on this board feel about the girth to length issue?

Do you all feel like I do that girth is more important for vaginal sex than length?

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Everytime I have been with a guy that is longer that 7" it was a bad experience because it hurt me. My husband's is 6.5" but very thick and I get the best pleasure from him, his length seems just right. He is so thick that when we swing I do the other guys for the anal becuse I love anal sex but I cant take my husband in the back door. I can take one far longer analy than vaginaly. Size to me matters only in the thickness. I am so glad I married a man with such a thick one.

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My penis is a little bit less than 6" long (it seems to have gotten shorter during the last ten years). I use to think I was average size until I read this thread. Now I feel so puny.

 

I've been only with Asian women, with the exception of one Latvian. And they all seemed tight, which is why I never thought I was small. The oldest woman I've been with was 35, which I do not know if any relevance. Do they get looser when they get older?

 

My wife is pretty tight still at 29. That is why I need to get her off first to be lubricated before starting to fuck her. She hasn't been with anybody bigger. She's teased that she wants to fuck someone with a big dick. I think she says that because she likes to feel slutty. Frankly I think it is sexy to see her with a huge dick. I bought her an 8" dildo with about a 2" girth, but she doesn't like it. Maybe she would like a real guy, though - something we yet to find out.

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Navi,

Have you put on weight over the last few years?

 

I have read that for every 20lbs you gain you lose an inch off of your penis size. That's quite a bit. Definately a reason to stay in shape :)

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LOL....I have never heard that one Julie. I recently lost 25 lbs. Im gonna go grab my ruler LMAO.

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Well if you think about it, it really makes sense. As the fat around your dick builds up, less of it will actually be sticking out.... so if you remove that fat....more dick.

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julie that would explain this one guy i went out with i had more girth and legnth in my pinky finger than he did and he was a big boy :eek: but im not knocking those with smaller dicks i find that if you know how to use it there are always ways to get around the size issue. And a smaller one is great for dp. :D

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I totally agree with ya there. I've had a couple of pinky sized boys that got me off quite nicely. They knew how to use what they had. In one case he was a big guy and I couldn't help but wonder if he'd have a couple more inches if he'd lost that weight, but I didn't wonder for long. Oddly enough the other small one was a very skinny black guy (so much for stereotypes).

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I was lucky enough to hook up with four well hung strangers at a bar last weekend. The first guy was very thick. He lubed me up with some spit, then rammed the whole thing inside me with one long push as hard as he could. I spent the rest of the night helping them work through their gang rape fantasies, on my hands and knees getting pounded, deep throating, and getting filled up with come. It was dripping out of me while I was getting fucked. When they were done, they kicked me out because I wanted more and they were worn out.

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