Excited and very concerned at the same time...

Our couple has been through lots of ups and downs. I usually joke we’re a in a quite normal relationship and nearly divorce four times a year, and there is unfortunately some truth to that.

 

To say my wife has a volcanic, Latin character is a massive understatement.

 

Well, something happened. We met this couple, with whom we connected in a very intimate way.

 

He kept on boasting about his manly attribute size, so one evening after quite a few glasses of wine, I dropped my pants to show him the goods. He returned the favor of course.

 

I then learn his wife has a big crush on mine. My wife also feels attracted to his’, and they actually exchanged a very hot French kiss. He and I too, not to be outdone.

 

That’s how far we’ve been so far. Hot!

 

My wife and I have never been into swinging, this would be a first. Neither have they.

 

My wife has this fantasy of sucking one cock while getting screwed doggy style (split roast)... might actually happen. Soon...

 

We’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this. Should we, shouldn’t we, how, when, where, how much, how far, soft swap, full swap, with or without condoms, what about STDs... will this affect our relationship as my wife is very jealous ...?

 

The mere thought of possibly having them at home and seeing how far this takes us is extremely exciting, makes us horny as teenagers, and our sex life has gone through the roof. Even if nothing further ever happens with them it was absolutely worth it.

 

We wouldn’t consider this with just anyone else though. We need to feel this mutual care, affection, desire, connection to each other.

 

Next step is finding an excuse to get our two teenage boys out of the house an evening or night. That’s highly unusual, and we need a solid coverup of some sort.

 

Finding a suitable date for them and us is a challenge. They are both divorced and remarried, with multiple children both sides and together.

 

No expectations though. Whatever happens, happens.

 

We’ll be getting a full medical checkup in the meantime to make sure we are both disease free, and I’d want them to do so too. Sucking on a condom isn’t at all appealing to us. Might as well suck a dildo. Zero fun.

 

My wife is off birth control, so if he wants to penetrate her vaginally, that’ll have to be with one. I’m mortified to have to impose him that. I’ve had a vasectomy.

 

If it happens it’s a foursome. No other way. Bed, couch, dining room table, hot tub, shower, we’ll be a horny bunch of rabbits all over the place...

 

We feel like we’ve been control freaks for ages and need to just let loose. Break that routine and enjoy the moment.

 

I’m posting this as perhaps you may have advice that we should heed. We’re very new to this, and so many things can go wrong. Kids come home early, or who knows what. We’re excited and scared.

"I usually joke we’re a in a quite normal relationship and nearly divorce four times a year, and there is unfortunately some truth to that. To say my wife has a volcanic, Latin character is a massive understatement."

 

Well, swinging for most folk is for fun without any drama. It doesn't sound like your wife is into that scene. Are you? Knowing what you've told us about your relationship, I probably wouldn't want to play with you.

 

But it's not my life, I wish you the best of luck.

Well, life isn’t boring with my wife. There is a strong bond between us beyond the children to keep us together despite the harsh moments.

It would be good to have a smoother ride. It’s an emotional roller coaster, and it takes a toll.

 

That she actually even considers the possibility of a foursome with them is stunning. It excites me hugely to imagine the two women playing together, my friend feeling my wife, and vice versa.

 

This can bring us even closer, or tear us apart.

This can bring us even closer, or tear us apart.

If you even *imagine* that it could tear you apart, then it’s a VERY bad idea!

... I then learn his wife has a big crush on mine. My wife also feels attracted to his’, ....

That's perfect. You have every reason to make it work.

 

... My wife has this fantasy of sucking one cock while getting screwed doggy style (split roast)....

Which end would you take? The guest should get the pussy.

 

... We’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this. Should we, shouldn’t we, how, when, where, how much, how far, soft swap, full swap, with or without condoms, what about STDs ...

Do whatever your wife wants and let her do whatever she wants. That way, no complaints. If the other couple's not promiscuous, you most likely ok not getting an STD.

 

... will this affect our relationship as my wife is very jealous ...?

Let her make all of the decisions. Being jealous is part of the fun.

 

...Next step is finding an excuse to get our two teenage boys out of the house an evening or night. That’s highly unusual, and we need a solid coverup of some sort.

 

Finding a suitable date for them and us is a challenge. They are both divorced and remarried, with multiple children both sides and together....

Give the teenagers some money to watch and entertain the children. Both problems solved.

 

... My wife is off birth control, so if he wants to penetrate her vaginally, that’ll have to be with one....

Have her start the pill or get an IUD immediately. There's also the Day After pill, Plan B and the abortion pill.

 

...If it happens it’s a foursome. No other way. ..

Again let your wife decide. She might be more comfortable starting with him (or him and her) alone.

You need to consider all possible consequences.

 

With what we’ve been through, it’s unlikely.

 

Which end would you take? The guest should get the pussy.

 

 

I’d take turns at both ends...

 

Have her start the pill or get an IUD immediately. There's also the Day After pill, Plan B and the abortion pill.

 

 

We know all birth control means well. She just got rid of her IUD, the pill wreaks havoc with her mood and cycle. After the Day After pill she threw up for three days.

 

If Plan B is rear entry it’s not her thing.

I’d take turns at both ends...

Sorry, which ends would you and he finish?

... the Day After pill she threw up for three days..

She could throw up for many more than three days during a pregnancy.

 

You could offer to split the cost of a vasectomy with him. Or during the spit roast he cums in her mouth.

 

Let us know what happens.

I usually joke we’re a in a quite normal relationship and nearly divorce four times a year, and there is unfortunately some truth to that.

 

To say my wife has a volcanic, Latin character is a massive understatement.

 

So you think bringing in another couple to your bedroom will make things less volatile? Think again. Unless you relationship is ROCK SOLID with an abundance of love, trust and communication, this is a recipe for a train wreck

 

 

Until you can say you have a completely open relationship built firmly on trust and communication, you should stay away from swinging. This will just be one more match to the gasoline that you call a relationship. If you have problems now (or at least four times a year), this will just add more. Swinging will make a great relationship better, but it will tear a weak one apart...you can't close Pandora's box and once it is out of the box...

 

Walk away, neither of you are close to being ready for this.

It looks like a dense minefield here. While I can't see this as working I would recommend talking it out with the wife, and maybe to other couple if that goes well. Even if nothing is consummated here there is drama inherent if there is no closure.

What Gold said!! Swinging is not for the faint of heart or those with a volatile relationship.

So you think bringing in another couple to your bedroom will make things less volatile? Think again. Unless you relationship is ROCK SOLID with an abundance of love, trust and communication,

 

 

We’ve been married 17 years. My wife had a serious case of post-partum depression after the birth of each of our boys. We lived through that.

 

It was so bad I once called the cops when during an argument she threatened me with a kitchen knife. Who would be able to regain the confidence to sleep next to her, leave her home with our two infants while I was at work? You can’t even begin to imagine the months of terror I had of coming home to a bloodbath.

 

How many couples would have survived ? We did. We sought professional help. We cured her depression. We grew. We got closer.

 

You think our relationship is vulnerable ? This was 10 years ago and we’re now stronger than ever.

 

There still are arguments. Never violent, just lively, spirited, and we’re both strong minded. I am becoming an expert at conflict management and resolution. Yes I wish things were smoother, but that’s what I have got, and we’ve got to make the best of it.

 

Yes we have discussed this extensively together. Yes we discussed this with the other couple. They are open to it if the mood is right.

 

Even then there always are risks.

 

I love my wife. We love each other with a passion. There is a bond between us that is beyond words.

 

My life could be simpler, but I couldn’t be happier.

Unless you relationship is ROCK SOLID with an abundance of love, trust and communication, this is a recipe for a train wreck

 

Until you are there, you shouldn't be here. Make the relationship great, where you think that things can't possibly get better, and make it so that neither of you would ever think that leaving could be an option, then think about moving forward.

We were at their place for supper a couple days ago.

 

Their kids were around so we knew not much was going to happen, and we confirmed their interest and excitement at the prospect.

 

Once their kids were tucked away and sleeping, we exchanged very hot French kisses with each other’s wives this time, not daring to go further for fear one might go to the bathroom.

 

So, they are coming to our place tomorrow lunch. With kids.

 

It’s going to happen soon, just probably not tomorrow of course.

It's not going to happen if they keep bringing the kids. Maybe they are not as interested in playing as you think.

Both are divorced and remarried. They have their children from prior marriages with them this week. They can’t have a babysitter look after the kids and argue they want to spend time with them.

Easier with their common daughter, no need to worry about the ex’s.

 

We’ll have them again soon when they are freeer.

 

The four of us are impatient.

... The four of us are impatient.

We have been doing this for years and still get impatient when a get together is planned. Have fun!

Hi folks,

 

This sounds like an impending trainwreck, as GoldCoCouple stated earlier. Having been in the LS for a long while now, I see the signs of a couple who are almost deliberately not heeding warning signs, and too easily brushing aside real issues.

 

I have a couple of things to mention. First of all, if this date actually happens, USE CONDOMS NO MATTER WHAT YOUR STI REPORT. Keep in mind that a clean STI report is valid at the time the tests are RUN, and essentially void immediately afterward. If you are in the "silent" window in the period soon after infection with a number of viral diseases, you ARE still contagious. Additionally, you cannot be certain of the level of risk that the other couple has taken, even if they tell you this is their first time swinging. Second, stop for a second, close your eyes, and imagine your wife being penetrated by him. Imagine her reacting to him with MUCH greater intensity than she reacts to you, making noises she NEVER, EVER makes with you, begging him to fuck her deeper. Imagine her orgasming over and over in a way she never does with you. Imagine him making her cum hard doing things that, when you do them, she isn't all that thrilled. Imagine her letting him do things with her that SHE WON'T LET YOU DO.

 

Many, MANY women do all of the above with a new partner, it's normal and it's part of what I love about watching my wife. However, what would the aftermath of a night like this be for you as a couple? What if YOUR experience isn't all that great compared to hers (or at least what if you perceive it to be)? What if they're still going strong long after you're done and wishing you could leave? What if you or she breaks one of your rules (You DO have rules that you've discussed, don't you?). What if she becomes massively upset at the sight of you penetrating another woman?

 

Not trying to be a negative Nellie. I'm concerned. I've met many folks who were in no way ready for the onslaught of strong emotions that caught them TOTALLY off guard in the midst of playing with another couple. You should discuss these things as a couple. I urge you to talk it ALL out, talk more, and then when you're done, TALK SOME MORE. There can't be too much communication between the partners of a couple that swings.

 

Just my $0.02. I hope you'll consider the things I mentioned, and let us know how you did when you talked them over.

 

Best Regards,

 

T

Thanks for the advice T. Much appreciated.

 

Yes we’ve been talking this over and over.

 

I want to see the look in my wife’s eyes when he enters her. The most loving gift I could ever give her. A demonstration of my absolute trust in her and our relationship.

 

Maybe it’s not swinging but polyamory. We would not do this in a club with complete strangers.

As many things in life there are risks. Some are worth taking, certainly not all.

 

Learning to drive gets you into many dangerous situations but also provides mobility and allows you to discover new horizons, meet new people, reach more interesting jobs.

 

What is healthy? What is normal? The Ingalls in the little house on the prairie? Is there a single couple living that life ? Is it a life worth living?

 

We are very likely an oddity. I hope. It’s no piece of cake. It’s exhausting. I wish there was more support, empathy, affection, or whatever. But the rewards are also beyond belief. Out of the blue, all of a sudden, something you hoped for and never imagined even remotely possible just happens. Right there, in front of your very own eyes. Hundreds of times. Pushing her and my limits seems to be the name of the game. Exploring the universe of possibilities. How far can we go together?

 

My wife has been wanting to experience sex with a woman for years. She has been wanting a spit roast just as long.

 

We are well aware of the risks. Might happen anyway, a majority of marriages do break up.

 

I imagine that swingers are in the lifestyle in part to break that boring day to day routine.

Would you mind elaborating further? I would like to understand better.

Ok, some news.

 

I think I finally pinned things down. I suspect I am confronted to a bipolar disorder. The symptoms tick all the boxes, and if that’s the case then there is a path forward.

 

As for our friends, they invited us for supper. My wife declined as it was the wrong time of the month for her. We postponed, but she heavily insisted I should go.

 

After much discussion with my wife I reluctantly accepted. She very literally told me to fully enjoy myself with them and have a great evening.

 

Well what an evening. He suggested right off the bat we should eat naked.

 

I was unsure if it was serious, if she was ok with that. She was.

 

Both us guys undress, we eat. She is at first shy, and incredibly excited. I suggest she might join in and take her top off, and before long off it and the bra fly.

Soon go the underpants. She is now completely nude sitting at her dinner table in front of her husband and I. First time ever she is nude in her living room, let alone with another man present.

 

Not long after, she’s masturbating for us.

 

We had agreed to not go full extramarital intercourse without my wife being with us, and I kept my word throughout despite her at one point begging the two of us for a DP. Blowjobs, muff diving, French kisses, we had a blast. Unreal. They loved it. I too, even though I didn’t feel as free as I would have liked, really missing my wife.

 

So, what next. First is to get my wife’s brutal mood swings under control, and stabilize that. There is hope.

 

I feel most privileged to have been invited into their intimacy, we have a unique and intimate bond. I truly hope my wife can experience it too.

 

Again? With my wife, sure. Not without her. I am so grateful she wanted me to go, she is truly exceptional.

In reading your first post just a little over a month ago you stated it would be a foursome no matter what, and it wasn’t. Now you are guessing at a mental health diagnosis for your wife. Have you discussed this with her? Sought professional help? So you had fun and went with her encouragement. Why not have waited until she could participate?

As I wrote, my wife insisted heavily I should go. Our friends insisted, my wife too, very forcefully. I would have waited. Three to one. I didn’t want to get into an argument with my wife over this.

 

I chose and kept to my limits. It wasn’t my wife’s asking.

Please, please don't subject normal swinger couples to your marital drama. Yes, comparatively, we ARE normal. You are so wrong about so many things, particularly about why couples get into swinging. I imagine that your next post will tell us how your wife threw a fit BECAUSE you did what she told you to do and she'll have to go off with some other people to even the score. This is the kind of drama we'd NEVER knowingly invite into our home or bed. But good luck to you, you're gonna need it.

"my wife insisted heavily I should go." So? You still insisted you were only going to do a foursome, but you broke your promise to yourself and possibly your wife.

 

If you aren't trolling as I suspect, you're being very strange. I wouldn't have anything to do with you in a swinging situation.

Having dealt in the past with someone with bipolar disorder...well, she may have said for you to go now, but the bipolar part says at some point she will swing the other way and come down on you for something. Once again, fix the relationship before you swing and eventually bring drama into the other couples life (and yours).

GoldCoCouple I agree 100%.

Alexandsandra Thanks for your perspective.