My dilemma

My story/dilemma.

I met my wife around 4 yrs ago and have been married for about a year now.

Of course at first our sex life was great but once we got to know each other and wasn’t afraid of trying new things it got even better.

It went further then just your typical watching porn, sending sexy videos/text messages etc.

It was her idea to have sex where we can be seen, like on a balcony and such. Of course I was all for it.

So one night in Vegas after going out for a few drinks I didn’t give her time to over think it and took her to the Green Door. I made sure she was absolutely comfortable and felt safe.

We didn’t do much other then have sex where others could watch.

During our trip home we talked about that experience and both wish we had a place closer to visit.

Well that led to many road trips...New Orleans, Nashville, Atlanta and Memphis. Each time we visited we did nothing more than become voyeurs.

It was awesome showing her off and being with someone who enjoyed this just as much as I did.

Then all of a sudden everything stopped. She felt like going to these places was the only thing that would turn me on and that was the only time I wanted her.

I completely understand and take full responsibility for her feeling that way so I stop suggesting places like that and we stopped going. Our sex life did go down hill. I asked her in many discussions, even though we stopped this lifestyle what happened to the sexy text messages/photos/videos/ watching porn???

Nothing

So now it’s back to basic sex, which is still great but.....

I love her with all my heart and think at least i has this experience.

But in reality I very much want it back and possibly take it even further.

It sounds like it got pushed too far too fast. When something consumes an aspect of our lives, typically we recognize the need for a change. She may have felt she was being cornered sexually. She may come out of her current shell, but maybe not. You may never know the real reason she stopped. It's possible she doesn't even know, other than she is not comfortable.

While getting ready for what was our last 3way, J said, "this will be our last time". And I knew it needed to be and didn't argue the point. This can become all consuming.

Think of other things you can do in the privacy of your own home. The book '101 nights of great sex' is a good tool for this.

Ask her...if she isn't able or willing to talk, then there is a bigger problem. Work on fixing the trust and communication problem and then see where you are. This is most likely a symptom of a bigger problem that you need to address immediately, but you can't force it or her to do it. Make her feel safe and you start communicating with her and see if she will start opening up. Good luck and let us know how things are going.

Update on my dilemma.

Thanks for the comments and posts.

So my beautiful wife and I finally had a very honest and open conversation.

Long story short, come to find out she actually admitted to slightly pulling away due to her excitement and how I was going to react. We both agreed that this honest talk should have come way before we started our venture. We also both shared our fantasies. But also realize the difference between fantasy and reality.

Biggest conclusion was having an honest and open conversation with no repercussion, Understanding what’s most important in OUR lives.

Followed by some amazing sex!!

Thanks again for everyone’s comments!

FYI: I have a birthday coming up and she promised me a bday to remember.

Threesome! Half kidding, don’t get your hopes up.