Interested in MFM

I'm all new to the lifestyle with my SO. I've only done it once in my youth. Definitely looking forward to it again. Anything I should know getting into it?

Yeah,

It can be a hell of a lot of fun.

Best advice you'll get on such a generic question is to keep the communication open between yourself and your partner. Be open to each other's fantasies and respectful of each other's limits.

Any specific questions or concerns?

Thanks. Pretty nervous

Great sex causes great emotions. You might feel an emotional connection especially if you have an orgasm with him. (I'm assuming you are female:))

There's a site that is dedicated to discussions about wife sharing. Go to ourhotwives dot org

yes and thanks

I have had a fair amount of experience with MFM / MMF threesomes.

Whilst my advice is just "My Personal Opinion" and am sure others have had different experiences to me, I would say.....

MFM / MMF threesome can be a lot of fun, it is exciting, horny, pleasing, sexually motivating, sadly however there are also bad points to this subject, for example:

1: Cheating: It perhaps doesn't shock you but a very large percentage of so called "Single Men" who are interested in swinging are not actually single at all, in fact a large percent of the single guys interested in swinging already have girlfriends / wives / families of their own and are simply using swinging as an easy no strings attached way to cheat. WHY mention this? Well because its down to your own personal preference and morals, for example some people would be perfectly okay having sex with a married/attached man behind his partners back, whilst other people would heavily put off by the idea of cheating, that some people simply would NOT want to sleep with a married or attached man, they would not want to be the secret affair lover, they wouldn't want to risk ruining someone else's life just for sexual kicks.

Cheating men can also have a very negative impact on your swinging experience, in many cases a cheating man can heavily damage your lives or chances of becoming a successful swinging couple. In many cases a new couple who wants to try MFM threesomes will desire to meet a honest clean man who will take his time, who will get to know them a little, who will take things slowly, who will begin some kind of small friendship, who will answer any questions and work with your fears, concerns, rules, boundaries.

That really if your going to have SEX with this man then it would be nice if that man actually had time for you as a person, actually understood that your nervous, that this situation is new for you. In an ideal world you would meet a genuine and honest man who would be happy to spend a little time with you, to spend some time messaging, answering emails, understanding your rules or concerns. That for most NEW couples it would be nice to meet a guy and meet up 2 or 3 times just for drinks or coffee, to talk and ask questions, to build up some trust and comfort.

But guess what? A married or attached man very rarely has time for any of that.

In most cases a married or attached man will dash around to your house after work (without having chance to bath or shower) and will be on a "Time Limit" he will come into your house looking flustered, he has not had chance to shower or bath properly, he has not had chance to shave or groom himself properly, he is not wearing fully clean clothes, in fact a lot of cheating men will turn up to meet you wearing gym clothes / hunting clothes / fishing gear / cycling gear, because they have told their wives they are just popping out to the gym, or just going fishing for a few hours.

Remember if a cheating man suddenly begins to shave / trim pubic hair / cut nails / get hair cuts / wear sexy or nice clothes / start using more aftershaves and deodorants, then sure 9 time out of 10 his wife or girlfriend will notice and become suspicious. I mean why is my husband having a full bath / shaving / splashing on expensive aftershave just to attend the gym? I mean why has my husband dashed home from work and had a full shower and put on his best underwear and a posh clean shirt just to go fishing? I mean why has my husband put on his best pair of jeans and shoes just to go jogging?

In many cases married men don't even have the time to shower or bath before meeting you and instead turn up at your door wearing smelly gym clothes, or work clothes that they have worked in all day which makes for a very unpleasant encounter. I also find a lot of married men simply do not bother trimming their pubic hair, because again if they suddenly start trimming their pubic hair their wife will notice.

Please imagine that a married man wake up in the morning and has a very quick basic shower, he then puts on his work clothes and heads off to work for about 9 hours, during his work day he is moving around, scratching his balls, farting, sweating, dropping crumbs of food down himself, gulping down tea or coffee, handling everything in his workplace, sneezing into his hands, coughing into his hands. THEN this lying legend dashes around to your house and quickly wants to fuck you within 30 minutes (without showering or changing clothes) and then wants to dash off home before his wife realises he is late.

In many cases a cheating man will appear at your door and will enter your house in a fluster, he will not relax for long, he will sit on the edge of his chair, he will seem fairly rushed and nervous, he will constantly check his phone to check the time and make sure his wife has not messaged him, he will answer any questions you ask with very quick 2 or 3 word answers, he will not relax sit back and actually take the time to explain, I mean remember he is on a time limit! He has to be home before his wife realises he is gone! After about 15 minutes (if your not already having full sex) then he will become even more nervous and will begin making excuses about needing to leave soon.

The classic lines such as....

"Eeerr I have my family coming round to my house later so I need to leave in 30 minutes"

Basically means....

"Look I have been here 10 minutes why is your wife not naked, why am I not ramming my stale work penis into your wife's vagina yet, don't you realise I have a wife at home and she will become suspicious if I'm gone too long, can we please hurry this up, I here to cheat and have sex not talk"

Married men always seem to have a reason why they need to be quick, why they need to leave within an hour.

If or when you do actually have sex with a married man you will notice that they very rarely get fully undressed, instead they have a quick fuck, a quick ramming session up the women's vagina, and then the very second they CUM they jump up out of bed and pull up their trousers and instantly make an excuse about why they have to leave, then, that minute, that second. In many cases the mans sperm will still be warm and he will be rushing out of your door to get back to his wife.

Sure maybe the women expected this man to stay around a while, to catch his breath, to say thank you, to give some praise and feedback, to actually be thankful and spend a little time with the couple, BUT NO the door is slamming behind him in 15 seconds flat because now he has to dash home to his wife before she figures out he is really late home.

In many respects what most cheating men want is to turn up and your house unwashed and looking scruffy, to dash into your house and be met by your wife fully naked with her legs open and ready, they want to have a quick play around before ramming their cock into your wife, and then they want to drop their load, cum up a different women's pussy and then pull their pants up and be out the door within 25 seconds flat.

Most married men have 0% time to actually get to know you, 0% time to actually treat you as a person. They are not really looking to swing, they are looking to CHEAT and there is a big difference between the two. However perhaps the biggest thing that does put me off cheating men is simply.....

This man is willing to lie to his wife's face.

This man is willing to lie to his entire families face.

This man is willing to put his children in danger just to get his dick wet.

This man is willing to break the rules of his marriage or relaitonship.

What on earth makes you think this man won't lie to you?

What on earth makes you think this man will not break your rules or disrespect your needs?

Sure if he is willing to lie to his wife and family, the HELL YEAH he will be willing to lie to you.

If he is willing to lie and cheat then sure he will probably lie to you about his real name / lie to you about where he works / lie to you about the last time he was checked for STD'S / lie to you about his age / lie to you about his intentions or even sexuality. Remember if he is willing to lie to his wife and entire family he won't even think twice about lying to you as well, so be careful.

There are many ways to spot a married / attached man, to name a few I'd say.....

- Men who can only answer your messages at really weird times, men who can only message back at 2am after his wife has gone to bed, men who can only message back at 5.14am before his wife has got out of bed. Basically men who totally ignore your messages for hours in the evening because they are sat watching TV with their wife and kids.

- Men who take naked pictures of themselves in the family home and you can see pictures of their wives and children hung on the wall behind them. I mean honestly I have lost track of how many men have sent me naked pictures and their wife's dress and bra's are hung on the clothes rack behind them. I see it all the time, men sending me "Recent Pictures" and in the background is an entire bedroom table full of their wives makeup and perfumes. Men sending me pictures from family bedrooms that has obviously been decorated by their wife, I mean what single man paints his bedroom a pink peach colour and has flowery bedding.

- Guys who turn up to meet you wearing sports clothes / gym gear / hunting gear / cycling gear / work uniforms / fishing clothes and so on.

- Guys who constantly have excuses about needing to be somewhere and having to dash off quickly, guys who instantly leave seconds after sex.

- The simple words "Our" and "We" can also play a big part in things, when we meet a new man I will make a point of speaking AS A COUPLE. My will fit in the words "We" and "Our" as much as possible.

For example....

We like watching films, what about you?

We like Italian food what about you?

Our best holiday was in Greece what about you?

Our house need a few bits of work what about yours?

You will find that a single man speaks as a single man, he will answer my saying....

I had a good holiday in France, I also like watching films, I also need to do some work on my house.

Where often the lying and cheating man (once relaxed with you) will begin to slip up and starts to speak AS A COUPLE.

Sure this man has told you he is 100% SINGLE.

But then he answers questions by saying....

"We are going to Canada next year"

"Our house needs some work"

"We also like watching films"

Watch out for guys who say they are single but speak as a couple.

However like stated this is all down to your personal preference and morals, some people have 0% issues sleeping with a married / cheating man, where other people are dead against it. In my eyes if a man is willing to lie to your face about been single and is willing to lie to his own family just for some quick no strings fucking then he is not actually worth inviting into your life, its not a risk worth taking.

2: Privacy: When meeting a man to have MFM threesomes with I highly recommend keeping various details about your private life a total secret from this man, for example....

- Do NOT tell this man where you work. If he asks about your work then be very vague, just say "Oh I work in a office" or "Oh I work in a shop" but do NOT give him the location or name of your workplace. In some cases (when having sex with someone) men can become obsessed or even turn into a stalker type of person and the very last thing you want is this man turning up at your workplace looking for you.

- Do NOT tell this man your working hours or what days your off work. If he asks then again be very vague, tell him your hours change every week, that sometimes you walk mornings, sometimes you work afternoons, sometimes you work nights, and your days off change every week. A common trick by certain men is to find out when the women works / when she is in the house alone / when her husband works, then once they figure this information out they will wait until the boyfriend or husband leaves the house, they will wait until the women is in the house alone and will come knocking on the door asking for sex alone, don't let random men know your patterns.

- I'd also highly recommend been careful about what details you give out to strange men, for example don't give them all your details, do not add them to Face Book, do not give them your work phone number, work email, the personal email you use all the time. For example a lot of people will give out there everyday email address which can then be used to backtrack them to Face Book / online profiles. Lets say just for an example that you added me to Face Book, well in a lot of cases within 10 minutes I could tell you where you work / roughly what area you live in / who your family members are / places you have visited. To be safe set up an email that you use only for swinging or meeting single guys ect.

- Generally certain forms of communication can cause problems, in years past I have met single guys and trusted them to have my girlfriends phone number, and each time I have given them my girlfriend phone number within a few days my girlfriend gets barraged with flirty messages and messages asking her to meet them alone. I mean don't get me wrong about 50% of guys actually do love having threesomes, the other 50% are simply looking to fuck women and would prefer it if the women's boyfriend or husband simply vanished out of the picture. In several cases my ex girlfriend have had to change their entire phone numbers due to be spammed by guys we have fucked, in many cases if you give a man the women's phone number he will soon begin asking to meet the women alone which isn't a threesome.

3: Police: I have often used this on men we meet, but basically when we meet a new man I will tell this man that.....

"He is NOT to turn up at my house unless he has been invited, because my family often visit me and my brother and uncle are both police officers and they will get very suspicious if they walk into the house and find someone they don't know standing there"

Really none of my family are in the police force, however I make sure to tell new men that my family are a "Police Family" that I have police backup. I want a new man to think that if he messes us around then my policeman brother and uncle will come crashing through the door and arrest him. That if he tried anything funny my police connected family will be round our house in forensic suits dusting for his fingerprints and hoovering the carpets for his hairs or skin particles, that if this new man becomes aggressive / violent / dangerous / or turns into a stalker that my police family will have the entire CSI team land.

I also make a point of telling a new man that....

"Hey I know this might sound a little harsh but please be warned if we do have a threesome together and you become funny / become aggressive / violent / turn into a stalker / put our relationship in danger / if you do anything at all against me or my partner that is bad then WE WILL CALL THE POLICE!!!! We will not hesitate, we will not be shy, swinging is not illegal in our country and the police will firmly take our side, so please don't mess us around and don't turn up at our house without been invited first"

I guess that sounds really harsh but when I first started out swinging with guys I noticed that guys would often make excuses to try and visit our house without been invited, that they would make up excuses to try and catch my girlfriend in the house alone, the classic excuses such as:

"Oh I was just in the area so thought I'd knock on your door"

"Oh the last time I was here I think I left my hat or wallet in your house can I come in and check please?"

Make sure a new man knows that you do NOT CARE if they were just in the area, that you do NOT CARE if they have left something at your house, that turning up without been invited is not acceptable and will be classed as stalking. Make sure the man knows that if he leaves something / loses something in your home then he is to call you and then you will search your house for this item. He is NOT to just turn up banging at your door under any circumstances.

4: Fighters: I guess this is just my personal preference but personally I avoid playing with any man who is a self proclaimed "Fighter" that would include martial artists / boxers / kick boxers / cage fighters / weapon collectors / violent sport enthusiasts / wrestlers / or just violent aggressive dicks heads.

That statement could potentially offend a lot of people, I mean sure there are hundreds of martial artists out there, hundreds of boxers who are lovely healthy people, I have nothing at all against these people, I myself spent many years weight lifting so am not against self improvement or self defence. HOWEVER where MFM threesome are concerned, well I don't actually know this person, I do not know what his true intentions are, I do not know what his anger or jealousy levels are like, for all I know he could be a totally violent idiot.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is I'd rather pick someone I feel comfy with, someone that I could push away or fight off if this worst happened. Trying to fight off a 6,5ft tall black belt martial artist would NOT be easy. Trying to fight off some huge muscle bound cage fighter would NOT be easy. If for whatever reason the man we are meeting turned violent I want to know I stand a good chance of protecting myself and partner, I do not want to be smashed into the floor by some trained fighter.

I would also heavily avoid any weapon collectors or people who are obsessed with weapons such as guns / knives / knuckle dusters. Like stated sex is an emotional thing and some men are NOT GOOD at handling emotions, some men can easily become obsessed with a women, some men can very easily mistake sex for true love, some men can experience very serious fits of jealousy, and really the last thing I want is some sex crazed man banging on my door armed with an automatic rifle, or any weapon.

5: God Penis: Thankfully this subject is fairly rare but basically a certain percentage of men do believe that they have the "God Penis" and you may ask what that means? Well basically some men are terrible 100% backwards and awful at processing feelings and sexual situations and to these men they sometimes believe that from the VERY SECOND that their penis touches a women, that this women now belongs to them, that this women is now their property, that because their penis has touched this women she should now obey only him / love only him / touch only him / do as she is told / change her entire life as he wishes.

That sure sometimes a man will sleep with a women (even just a one night stand) and he will suddenly become hostile / controlling / paranoid / demanding / aggressive / sexually aggressive / confused / and will use a mixture of hatred against women / bad morals / or even religious waffle to try and take over that entire women's life. Basically when you involve sex in the mix some men just flip out. I have not only experienced this subject myself but have also seen it happen to other people, two examples from my own life would be....

A) Many years ago me and my girlfriend met a man and from the very second his penis entered her he fully believed it was "True Love" and that my girlfriend now belonged to him, what follows was a disturbing and upsetting story.

B) Many years ago now a girl I use to go clubbing with had a one night stand with a Eastern European man, again from the very second his penis touched her body he then fully believed that she was his property, what followed was this sex crazed lunatic man unleashing a 5 month stalking campaign against this women. He turned up at her house screaming the street down, he stalked her in her favourite club, tried grabbing her several times, called her nasty names, labelled her as a whore for going to nightclubs, tried to insist that she should do nothing at all but sit at home waiting for his God Penis to return. In the end the girl had to stop going out totally, it tuck 5 months for him to lose interest and move on to another victim.

My general advice here is try your dam best NOT to meet such a man. Generally if I meet another man for a MFM / MMF threesome then I will do my best to question him in person, I will ask him questions such as:

What happened with your ex girlfriend? If a man answers will extreme hostility towards his ex girlfriends, he calls them all whores, calls them all stupid women, calls them all horrible names, responds very badly about his ex romantic relationships then I already know this man is unstable and takes sexual situations ending very badly indeed.

I often drop things into conversation about women's rights and ask his opinion? Again if he replies in a hostile or negative manor and basically says women should not have rights, that women should do as they are told, that women should obey, then I already know this guy is going to be too controlling for a threesome.

I also often ask a question such as....

"The other month we were out at a friend party and some strange guy we didn't even know just walked past and slapped my girlfriends bum, I didn't even know what to do or say, what would you have done?"

Unstable, jealous, or controlling men will often answer by saying they would have smashed a bottle in the mans face / they would have beat him up / they would attack this other man. This tells me instantly that this guy is not willing to be near other men in any sexual situation let alone a threesome.

6: Homophobic: Its also worth mentioning that despite looking for MFM threesomes some men are actually extremely homophobic, that they hate gay or bisexual men and totally hate been naked near another man. I'd say a lot of men who get into swinging basically just want to sleep with women and another man been present is actually a big upset for them. That they only really agree to a MFM threesome because they want to bang the women and would prefer it if the other man wasn't there at all.

I remember in my very young years (18/19 years old) we had a threesome with a guy who turned out to be very homophobic and honestly it wasn't a fun experience. Getting into the threesome this guy began to say things like....

- I won't kiss her because YOU another man has already kissed her, I will NOT kiss a girl that another man has just kissed.

- I will NOT lick her pussy because YOU another man have already licked her pussy.

- I will NOT put my penis in her if YOU another man has already put his penis inside her.

Some men are totally freaked out by even been in the same room as another naked man and really this is something you need to figure out before you meet some guy for sex.

Generally when we meet another guy for a social meeting I try to speak about other men been naked / other men's dicks / homosexual subjects / bisexual subjects and try to gauge his reactions. If a man becomes on edge / offended / nervous / when you speak about him been near other naked men then what is the point in having a threesome with him?

7: STD Checks: I have often found that men do lie about been checked for STD'S and sexual infections. It does amaze me but there are thousands and thousands of middle aged men who have never even been sexually checked out in their lives. Really there are two type of men where this subject is concerned, men like me who are happy and willing to get checked out sexually, then the other type of man who see's been checked out for STD'S and some nonsense mumbo jumbo, some scary voodoo like practice, basically men who self confess that they hate going to the doctors, hate hospitals, never attend the doctors even when sick.

Generally when I have a social meeting with a man I will ask him when he was last checked out for STD'S / STI'S? Then watch his answer very carefully indeed.

You see a man who HAS been checked out will give a very precise and quick answer, he will say....

"Yeah I got checked out last year at the Saint Andrews centre in the city, what about you?"

The man who has NOT been checked out will say....

"Eeerrmmmm, eeerrrr, eermmm yeah I got checked out at my doctors"

He will pause for time as he makes up a lie. He will look nervous, break eye contact, take time to answer, fill up his sentence with a lot of "Eeerrr, eerrmmm" has he dreams up a lie. He will not give a direct answer, he will not name the clinic he got tested at.

I am totally unsure about other countries but in the UK its actually very rare in my experience for a "Doctors Surgery" to preform sexual screening tests. I'd say all major cities or large towns in the UK have special sexual health centres that deal with sexual screening. Generally a doctor is there to deal with injuries and illnesses, not to screen for sexual health issues. I have actually met a fair few men in my life who say they have been checked out for sexual diseases at their doctors, but like stated in the UK I already know a lot of doctors do not provide that service.

If a man does tell you that he has been sexually screened at his doctors, that say.... "Cool which doctors do you go to?"

He will often give you the name of his doctors surgery, and sure if you really want call the doctors surgery the next day and simply ask if they preform sexually screening tests? If you can come in and get your urine and blood tested for STD'S?

I would also WARN YOU / WARN ANYONE that in many cases if a man says....

"I once had Chalmydia"

Then a lot of the time what he is really saying is....

"I have Chalmydia / I don't know if I have a sexual STD"

One question I do often ask men is....

"So bit of a strange question but is there anything we should know about from a sexual point of view. Do you have any sexual hangups or worries? Do you ever get cramp whilst having sex? Do you ever experience any pain whilst having sex? Anything strange we should know about? Any weird birthmarks or scars we should know about? Anything you want to share?"

Really its a bit of a trick question, I'm asking a long open question and what I'm looking for is if the man gives any answers such as....

- I sometimes get really bad stomach pains during sex.

- Sometimes it really hurts when I cum.

- My balls really hurt after sex.

- Sometimes my dick or balls get really itching or have a rash.

- I find it really painful to pee after sex.

- Sometimes my cum smells bad or is strange colours.

- Sometimes there is blood in my cum.

You will often find men who say these sorts of things are actually just listing off symptoms of an STD / STI.

Generally if a man is in pain during sex / in pain when he cums / in pain after sex / experiences tummy pains during or after sex / struggles to cum at all then its probably an STI or STD.

Also be very careful indeed of men who say.....

"My ex once had an STD"

Generally what the man is really saying is....

"My ex once had an STD but I actually have no idea at all if I picked it up or not"

8: Warning Signs: Generally when I meet a man I am constantly looking out for warning signs, I'm looking at his finger nails to see if they are clean and cared for, I'm looking for fighting scars on his face or knuckles, I'm looking for any signs of drug use such as needle tracks on his arms, heavily stained teeth, smoke stained finger tips. I'm looking out for things such as prison tattoos / stained clothes / bad body odours / gang tattoos / aggressive speech patterns / constant swearing / heavy drinking / homophobic comments / anti women comments / any kind of prison or gang slang words / any references to stealing or cheating / any references to violence or weapons / any aggression towards ex partners and so on.

9: Cant Get Hard: One thing that is worth a mention is that when you first have MFM threesomes with a man it is very common for the guy / guys to struggle to get a proper erection. Some guys might always have severe difficulties getting an erection / some guys might need to meet you 2 or 3 times before relaxing enough / some guys might need to meet you 10 or eve 15 times before relaxing enough. Generally it can be hard for some guys to get an erection at least for the first 2 or 3 meetings until their nerves settle down a bit.

Sure some guys will be rock hard and ready for sex from the first meeting, other guys will struggle a bit and its not a personal thing against you, generally new guys trying out threesomes can be nervous so its worth understanding that their dicks might not always be rock hard straight away. Generally if we meet a guy and he has trouble getting an erection we will meet him another 2 or 3 times, if it does not improve at all within that time then we would break off the friendship and meet someone else, basically give a guy at least 2 or 3 attempts to get hard, don't expect it all to be perfect from a single meeting.

10: Drugs & Drink: Its also pays to speak with any new potential male partner about their opinions on drugs, over the years I have had several single guys turn up for threesome with bags full of coke / pockets full of Cannabis / and even ecstasy pills. Basically some people want to have threesome and get wrecked on drugs during the process. It generally helps if you figure out if a persons views about drugs and drink matches your own views before meeting them for sex.

11: Photos & Film: It might sound fun but I personally would not agree to another man taking pictures or films of my girlfriend or us having sex. In many cases if you let a man take pictures of you during a threesome that guy will end up showing other people those pictures or film, I would personally avoid letting strangers take any pictures or film of anything naked or sexual.

OVERALL.

I have waffled on enough.

My intention with this massive reply is NOT to scare you away from threesomes, its simply to give some advice and caution.

I find a lot of people give merry one line advice "Go for it... Yeah its amazing... Yeah its great... Your curious that means you just want encouragement"

Sure it is great, it is fun, but it doesn't stop you from been safe and watching your own back during the process.