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Wife cool with me swinging, but isn't interested herself

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Recently my wife and I have been talking about all manner of sexual exploration: threesomes, lifestyle parties, having sex (with each other) next to another couple, etc. Our communication is open and honest and, ultimately, she is fully supportive of the idea of me sleeping with another woman, but feels like she couldn’t have casual sex herself and she is not interested in a swap or bringing in another person (m or f) into our bedroom. We’ve set the ground rules for it and I’m excited but part of me thinks rather than go out of town with a single buddy and pretend to be single and hook up, it might be easier/more fun/get more understanding from someone in the lifestyle.

 

I’m new to this. Aren’t individual guys a pretty hard sell? Or am I underestimating the amount of guys cool with their wives swinging if they don’t get the other wife in the deal? Guidance for a noob welcome.

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First off, welcome to the Swingers Board!

 

You may be new to the swinging but you have already figured out that yes, individual guys are indeed a hard sell. The reputation of single males isn't a good one, and a big part of that is because many don't take the time to understand swinging and their role in it. It doesn't sound like you are that type, and technically you aren't a single male (although that term often is used to mean any male that isn't there as part of a couple, so single as in one just as much as single as in not married).

 

It's great that you and her have talked about this. Does her support go as far as being willing to talk to your potential playmates? If that's a yes, then you are going to find it a much easier go since you've got support for the story you are telling people. If the answer is no, then no offense to you personally, but most people aren't going to believe you since that since that exact same story has been used by lots and lots of cheating husbands. Doesn't mean it can't be true, but people are going to default to that it isn't true and you will have to overcome that.

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Yes, she is willing to vouch for the blessing for that reason. Recently I reached out to an old friend about this. The friend is not in the lifestyle and she and I have never hooked up but wanted to in the past. I told her about my “hall pass” and she politely declined. We talked about it for well over an hour after her decline because she couldn’t understand why I would want to if my marriage is good. That lead me wonder if approaching someone already okay with extra marital play would be easier

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The whole thing would have to be arranged by your wife. It would have to be a woman she approves of. That would also ease the mind of the prospective other woman as well as herself. Your wife would want to be sure she isn't putting you with someone who would want to steal you away from her.

 

Am currently in a similar situation. At a vanilla birthday party,a friend of ours became very flirty with me. My wife thought it was funny and is Interested in getting her to see how far it goes. Just to be clear, the other woman and her husband are in the lifestyle, we just never approached each other. He is also aware of the flirting and was amused. My point of all of this is that I am not pursuing this other woman without my wife's involvement. You should follow a similar path.

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@Alexandsandra……Well said! My sentiments exactly, this will end badly.

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