I want to do this but....

My girl is one horny chick and totally loyal to me and for that I ant to give her the most pleasure possible. However....I’m a bit nervous she will be TOO into it and lose interest in me as I know othe men can fill her fuller than I can particularly since she has had a child and I’m average size at best. At th same time I know I completely send it home as we are so I don’t want to screw that up by exposing her to such an experience. Should I be concerned about this?

Well, let's say you skip the whole swinging thing, fall in love and get married. 15 years down the road, her frustrations boil to the surface and she leaves you.

Now, let's suppose you swing. You will see her riding a huge dick and possibly having the sexual adventure of her life. My opinion is that if she is super horny and a possible size queen, wouldn't it be better to find out now, rather than after you have 2 kids and a retirement account?

This was probably my biggest concern. My wife has a pretty roomy vagina and I just can't fill the room. I assumed that once she got a hold of a big dick at the hands of someone who has experience, our sex life would change. And it did, for the better. Come to find out, dick size is just one of myriad things going through her mind concerning attraction. Size isn't as big a deal for women as men. Variety though, I can't say enough about.

Any woman that drops a guy just because of cock size is better off being gone anyway.

Would you drop her just because some lady with a bigger cup size wiggles in front of you, or would a tighter pussy do the trick?

If so she is better off without you.

It took me a while to realize it but it truly is the whole package, and not just the one located mid body.

Speaking of the whole package she just walked in from the garden and started hand feeding be freshly picked raspberries. THAT and a million other such things is worth more than a vise like vagina grip or whatever. After 3 kids and forty years there is absolutely nothing or anyone that could pry me free.

On top of all that she encourages my playtime and ravishes me after.

I, on my part, want only the best and most talented lovers for her. If that should include someone with a bigger tool, then I only hope that he really knows how to use it.

If either of us had worries such as you express,then we wouldn't be doing this. Maybe you two need to grow together more before you wander off into others beds.

First, don't post pictures of your cock. If anyone needs to see it, they'll ask.

Second, as I type this I'm about eight hours post an incredibly hot full swap play date. Me and my average at best cock, gave my partner four orgasms in a single play session. Her husband is larger than me. I don't know by how much, I don't measure the men my wife fucks and I honestly pay very little attention to that kind of thing. When we were finished up we went back out to the hot tub for a night cap and I was showered with praise. I was told my cock is perfect for her. I hit all the right places. She told me my cock is perfect. I felt like freaking superman. She explained she has to be careful choosing positions with her husband as his sizes can be uncomfortable for her at times.

My advice, stop worrying about the size if your cock because very few women do.

Everything we do in life has risks, including swinging. You say she's loyal, Im assuming she loves you. If that's the case, what Im hearing are your own insecurities. Mrs Doc says that where ever we go in the swinging world, when the cloths fall off, there will always be someone thinner, or better boobs or with a bigger dick and if so, so what? Swinging is about recreational sex and variety. Enjoy both. My advice, take it slow and work on your insecurities.

Firstly: Its highly unlikely that your girlfriend would leave you simply because you have a threesome with another man who has a bigger penis, in my experience 99% of women do not pick their life partner purely based on how big their penis is, but instead pick their partner based on things like sense of humour / stability / integrity / loyalty / shared hobbies / general physical attraction / things in common. In fact during my life I have known men who have VERY BIG DICKS and some of them turn out to be total dick heads who are liars, cheater, big headed people, and who can't hold down a proper relationship for longer than about six months, because sure whilst they have a big dick they also treat people terribly, where on the flip side I have known a few men with VERY SMALL DICKS who have ended up in loving long lasting relationships and building a wonderful and happy family with their wives.

I'd also point out that if a BIGGER DICK or different type of man was so vital to your girlfriend then she could have run away and found that months or years ago without swinging every playing a role, that actually if she wanted a man with a bigger dick, or wanted a man who was even better in bed then she wouldn't need swinging to find that man, she could have done that on her own many months ago, but she hasn't. You also mentioned your girlfriend has a child and in my experience when a women has a child then sex in general becomes less of a priority, that actually she has a child to look after, she has a child to feed, she has a home to look after so the home is safe for that child, she has bills to pay so that child has a roof over its head. I mean this is just my experience but a lot of women who have children spend their time worrying about their children / planning a better safer future for their children / looking after their children, they don't just sit around thinking about finding a man with a bigger dick.

In my experience if a women has a child then she is more likely to leave a man if that man refuses to work / doesn't even try to help / doesn't even attempt to provide for the family / lazes about / acts like a child all the time. That in most cases a mothers priority is looking after and protecting her family, not finding a man with a bigger dick.

Secondly: Who actually says you have to play with someone who has a bigger dick? I mean form the original post is basically sounds like your saying.....

"Yeah I really love my girlfriend and want to her to have the best enjoyable sex, but I'm scared if we meet a man who has a bigger dick, or a man who is a lot better in bed than me, then my girlfriend will fall in love with him and run away, that she will like his bigger dick much better than mine and she won't want me anymore"

However I'll say again who actually says that you HAVE to play with a guy who has a much bigger dick than you? Who actually says you have to play with a guy who is much better in bed than you are? Is there some secret unwritten rule about swinging that says you MUST pick a guy with a massive dick?

In fact you could pick a guy who has a slightly smaller dick, or the same size dick as you, or just a little bit bigger than yours. Personally I'd recommend starting by picking a man who's penis size roughly matches your own, maybe try and pick a man who has a slightly bigger dick. Just because you want a threesome that doesn't mean you have to go out there and pick a guy with a 12 inch monster dick. To start with pick a guy who matches your own size (give or take an inch) and then see how you feel after that, move onto bigger things after you have become comfy.

Thirdly: This is perhaps my biggest area of advice, but please let me explain from word go that I AM NOT telling you to control your girlfriend, or to attempt to control this entire situation. BUT what I AM SAYING is that most couples who get into swinging have a set of "RULES & BOUNDARIES" that are designed to keep them safe and playing in a comfortable way.

For example, you seem worried that if your girlfriend has sex with a different man that she will like him better / enjoy him more / that she will fall in love with him / start an affair / run away / not want you anymore. HOWEVER lets take a look at how most affairs start? I mean ask yourself how a lot of affairs start?

Well......

In my experience a lot of affairs start when your partner comes into close CONTACT with another person, and by "Contact" I don't just mean sex, I mean talking / flirting / sharing messages / getting to know each other / meeting each other / building a connection.

Okay lets assume that your girlfriend was going to have an affair, how would that affair start?

Generally your girlfriend would meet another man and during this initial meeting they would have TIME TO TALK, they would chat together, flirt together, the man would try and impress your girlfriend, the man would try and make your girlfriend laugh, try and impress her, would flirt with your girlfriend as they spoke. Generally speaking to start an affair would usually require anywhere from 15 minutes to 2 hours of them talking / giggling / flirting / been able to communicate with each other freely, after which they would probably swap mobile phone numbers.

Usually at this stage (if they have swapped mobile phone numbers) then this other man will begin bombarding your girlfriend with friendly / funny / naughty / flirty text messages, during this stage this other man and your girlfriend will use this time to ask a lot of QUESTIONS. They will ask each other where they work / where they live / what hobbies they like / what music they like / what clubs they like / even down to things such as what food they like / what drinks they like / what holidays they like, and so on.

They will also begin to flirt sexually, start asking each other about their relaitonship situation, start making flirty comments to each other, in many cases a man will send pictures of his dick, and basically all of this TAKES TIME. In many cases people starting some hidden affair will text message each other for about 1 or 2 weeks before they arrange to meet up. Once they do arrange to meet up again then usually they would meet for a coffee or drinks, they would spend 1 or 2 hours talking, they would divulge even more personal information about each other, they would perhaps make small talk about their jobs, about their history, about their hopes, dreams, ambitions, and maybe if your unlucky they will a play around, maybe kiss, touch, masturbate each other, or even have sex.

During this meeting its likely that they might swap email address, might add each other to Face Book, Twitter, or other social networking sites or internet chat programs, from this point they will return to TALKING MORE. They will send each other very flirty sexual messages, they will discus how their "Meeting" went, I mean did she enjoy it when they met? Did he enjoy it when they met? Are they going to meet again? If they are going to meet again then when / where / what time / how / what will they do? That actually answering all of these questions takes TIME.

From this point they will probably arrange to meet again a 2nd and 3rd time and YEAH if they are meeting again its highly likely they will be having sex, and its after this point where the real choices are made. Do they really like each other? Are they going to run away together? Is this serious between them? Is this what they really want? Is this just a sexual fling or is this the start of a new relationship? Again answering these questions can take a lot of time and in many cases it can be even more complicated, for example the cheating people will begin to ask themselves questions such as:

But I have children, if I broke up with my partner and started a brand new relaitonship with this person I have just met what would happen to my children?

But I have a mortgage with my partner, if I started a new relationship with this other person I have just met what would happen with my house?

But I work at the local office and the other person I have met lives right on the other side of the city, if we started a relaitonship how would I get to work?

Would this person move in with me, or would I move in with this person?

What would happen if this new relationship doesn't work?

My family all know and like my current partner, they would probably hate me for running away with someone else?

These questions all take TIME TO ANSWER.

Okay, okay, okay.......

So lets say you meet a man for a threesome, that you meet a new man with a nice big hard dick and he fucks your girlfriend all over the place, then my questions are:

1: How is this man going to speak with your girlfriend / communicate with your girlfriend when YOU are there the entire time?

2: How is this man going to send flirty affair based text messages to your girlfriends mobile phone when he doesn't actually have your girlfriends mobile phone number?

3: How is this man going to communicate and send naughty emails to your girlfriend when actually he doesn't have your girlfriend email address?

4: How is this man going to chat with your girlfriend online when actually he doesn't have her online details?

5: How is this man going to find your girlfriend so he can ask her for an affair when he doesn't actually know where your girlfriend lives or works?

6: How is this man going to impress / flirt with / chat to you your girlfriend when he doesn't have any of her contact information?

7: How is this man going to track down your girlfriend when actually he doesn't even know her last name?

Lets look at an EXAMPLE:

Example: Adam wants to have a threesome with his girlfriend and another man, however Adam does want his girlfriend to be safe, I mean sure Adam wants to see another man fucking his girlfriend, Adam wants to watch another man sliding his big penis up his girlfriend, HOWEVER Adam also wants to protect his girlfriend, Adam doesn't want to lose his girlfriend, Adam wants to protect his relationship, protect his life, protect his own, family, social life, sure Adam wants his girlfriend to have sex with another man, but he also wants to do that in a safe and secure way?

In that case Adam decides that they can meet another man, but that for SAFETY REASONS he will keep that man a safe and professional distance away form his girlfriend and their relationship, so Adam decide that:

- This other man will NOT know his girlfriends full name / last name, this will help to stop the new man form finding Adams girlfriend using the internet.

- That Adams girlfriend will NOT give this new man her mobile phone number, and will NOT take this new mans mobile phone number either, that Adams girlfriend and this new man will NOT swap or give each other their mobile phone numbers. Adam knows this will help stop an affair from happening.

- That Adams girlfriend will NOT give out her email address / Face Book details / Twitter details / social networking details, and that she will NOT take this other mans details either. If they want to meet this man, if this man wants to talk with them as a couple then Adam decides it would be safer for everyone if this man has Adam's phone number or email and not his girlfriends.

- Adam decides that its not a great idea if this new man knows where his girlfriend works, so Adam speaks with his girlfriend and asks her NOT to tell this new man where she works.

- Adam is still a little unsure about this "New Man" I mean really Adam doesn't know very much about this new man, I mean is this new man a liar, does this new man want to steal Adam's girlfriend, will this new man turn out to be a stalker. In that case Adam decides that AT FIRST it would be better to meet this new man in a hotel room, that for the first 3 or 4 meetings it would be best in a hotel room. That way if anything does go wrong, if this new man turns out to be a nasty person then this new man doesn't know where Adam's house is, or where Adam's girlfriend lives.

- Adam decides that to make sure his girlfriend doesn't give this man her phone number / email / personal details, that Adam will ALWAYS be present when they meet this new man, that Adam will not actually give his girlfriend and this new man enough timer alone to actually swap numbers, to actually speak alone for long enough to start an affair.

ECT, ECT, ECT......

Using this example, then sure Adam and his girlfriend CAN meet this new man, they can meet this new man for coffee or drinks, they can speak with this new man, they can meet up and have sex with this new man all they want. BUT this new man does NOT HAVE Adam's girlfriends phone number / last name / email / address / work information / social networking information, Adam suddenly feels a lot more secure because he knows the risk of an affair starting between his girlfriend and this new man have been drastically reduced, I mean how can they start an affair if they can not even contact each other?

Adam already knows that if this new man desires to start an affair with his girlfriend then this new man needs to TALK with Adam's girlfriend, this new man needs to message Adam's girlfriend, this new man needs to impress Adam's girlfriend and arrange to meet her alone / to talk alone / to message each other alone / to have private contact with his girlfriend. However for safety reasons, for everyone's security, for peace of mind Adam has put rules and barriers in place to stop that from happening.

Really what Adam wants is to meet a nice guy who will obey the rules, and sure to invite this man around for fun sex and friendship, but also to keep this man at arms length. I mean just because you have a threesome with a man does that mean that man NEEDS your girlfriends mobile phone number? Just because you have a threesome with a man does that mean he NEEDS to know where your girlfriend lives or works? Just because you have a threesome with a man does that mean he NEEDS to know your girlfriends email address or social networking details? NO IT DOESN'T!!!!!

Yes if Adam's girlfriend agrees to have a threesome with this new man, then sure Adam can text this new man, Adam can email this new man and arrange to meet up. There is no need for this new man to have any of Adam's girlfriend personal contact details. Perhaps another good way of looking at this is.....

You have enemies, do you give your enemies the keys to your entire house? NO!!!!

You have friends, do you give your friends the keys to your entire house? NO!!!!

You have family, do you give your family the keys to your entire house? NO it most cases you don't.

So why on earth would you meet a strange new man and then give him the keys to your girlfriends entire life?

SOME RULES / THINGS TO CONSIDER:

1: PHONE NUMBER: Explain to your girlfriend that YES you would like to meet a man and try some threesomes together, that you are perfectly happy to meet another guy / chat with another guy / meet this other guy for coffee / that your girlfriend can meet him, speak with him, ask any questions she likes, and IF you both got along with this new man then yes potentially you could try some threesomes together which you believe would be fun, exciting, horny, and a nice sexy experience for you both HOWEVER you do NOT think it would be wise / safe for this man to have your girlfriends phone number, or for your girlfriend to take this new guys phone number because you believe it could be dangerous / could cause jealousy / that there is a good chance that if this man takes your girlfriends phone number he may try and convince her to cheat, that if this man has your girlfriends phone number he perhaps will get tempted to ask for affairs, he may try and damage your relationship, that if he doesn't have your girlfriend phone number, and your girlfriend doesn't have his phone number then no one can get tempted, that it would help stop any feelings growing, that it would be a more secure situation for us as a couple.

Plus lets not forgot that some men who have technical know how / technical computer type experience can potentially use your girlfriends phone number to TRACK HER and find out where she lives / where she works / where she visits. If for whatever reason your girlfriend gives this man her number then it drastically would increase the risk of serious problems, that he may become sexually obsessed with her, that this new man might view the exchange of numbers as meaning your girlfriend loves him and not you, that overall your girlfriend been in direct contact with this man via phone is a recipe for disaster so you would prefer it if she NEVER gave a threesome man her number, and NEVER accepted his number if he offers it to her.

2: EMAIL / SOCIAL NETWORKING: The exact same as the above, for safety reasons, for security reasons, for your peace of mind, you would strongly prefer it if your girlfriend did NOT give this new man her email address / Face Book details / Twitter details / chat program details / or any other social networking details. Remember a guy with technical know how can easily hack or trace her using such things.

3: WORK: Speak with your girlfriend and let her know that yes you would be happy to have a threesome with a man but that you DO NOT want her to tell this man where she works / where she studies because again this would be a security risk. That for all you know this man could turn up looking for your girlfriend as her place of work or study, that actually for all you know if this man turned out to be an idiot or nasty person he could wait for your girlfriend outside her workplace and then one lonely evening as she leaves work he could come running over and try dragging her into a car, that he could jump out of the bushes and attempt to rape her, either that or he could become obsessed with her and simply turn up at her workplace and cause a scene / get her in trouble at work, either way it would be best if this man NEVER knew where your girlfriend works or studies.

If your girlfriend works for the local electric company then just tell this guy "She works in a office in the city" if your girlfriend works at a local clothes shop then simply tell this man "She works in retail" do not ever give a man specific details about where or when your girlfriend works.

4: LAST NAME: If possible do NOT tell this man your girlfriend last name / sir name because again this would be a security risk, that certain men would find it very easy to track your girlfriend if they have her full name. For example with a full name they can often check Face Book / Twitter / Linkedin / Email searches / and depending what country you are in they can check voting records / land ownership records / local council records and so on. In some cases I have started dating a women and they have given me their full name, out of excitement I have gone home and "Googled" their name and within 5 minutes I'm sat looking at their workplace website that has them listed as a member of staff with a picture and work email address.

5: NO MEETING ALONE: This perhaps sounds like an obvious rule but you need to explain to your girlfriend, and to any man you meet that just because you have a threesome together that does NOT MEAN they are allowed to meet each other alone / or meet each other for sex alone. In some cases you might meet a man for a threesome and that man will invite your girlfriend to meet him alone because he wants to talk with her, I mean maybe he just wants to talk, maybe he invites for her a coffee without you there, maybe he invites her for a meal, maybe he invites her to watch a film / see a band / have a day trip / have drinks and in all cases the answer is NO!!!!!

If this man wants to take a girl for a coffee then he can meet another girl and take her for a coffee (not your girlfriend) if this man just wants to talk, then sure he can meet another girl and speak with her he doesn't need to speak with your girlfriend alone. In about 80% of a cases if a man asks your girlfriend to meet him alone then it doesn't actually matter why he has asked he will most likely end up asking your girlfriend for sex / for an affair / to run away.

He Says: I just want to talk.

Translated Into Man Speak: I am lying to you, I don't really want to talk, really I just want to see if you will agree to sex without your boyfriend/husband been there, saying I just want to talk is a crafty way of getting you to meet me alone so I can ask you for an affair.

He Says: Do you fancy meeting me for a meal.

Translated Into Man Speak: Really I'm hoping we get along without your boyfriend/husband there and that I can pour a few drinks down your neck and your knickers will fall off, that really I want to have sex with you but I don't like it when your boyfriend/husband is there so I'm asking you to meet me alone for a meal, and really a meal means do you want sex with me alone.

6: NO UNINVITED CALLERS: This is another area to warn your girlfriend about, but in some cases you will meet a man for a threesome, you will get on with this man really well, maybe you even have a few threesomes in hotel rooms, then sooner or later you invite this man to YOUR HOUSE. No once this happens that man knows where you live and in "Some Cases" that man will simply wait until the man/boyfriend/husband leaves for work, he will wait until he knows the women is in the house alone and then will come knocking on the door, the two usual things this man will say is.....

"I was just in the area and thought I'd drop by and say hello"

Translated Into Man Speak: I wasn't really in the area, in fact I figured out when your boyfriend leaves for work and I KNEW you (the women) was in the house all alone so I made up a lame excuse to knock on your door, really my cock is tingling and I'm very much hoping you will invite me in the house for a good hour of cheating alone sex without your pesky boyfriend/husband getting in the way.

"The last time I came to your house I think I left my hat / forgot my wallet / dropped my sun glasses / forgot my coat so I was just dropping by to pick it up"

Translated Into Man Speak: I didn't really forget anything, I know your boyfriend/husband has left the house, I know you (the women) are in the house alone and really I'm just popping by to see if you fancy sucking my balls without your boyfriend/husband here.

You need to make it clear to your girlfriend that if you have a threesome with a man and that man comes knocking on your house door whilst you are not there, then your girlfriend is NOT TO OPEN THE DOOR. For all you know your girlfriend might open the door to this man and he could hit her in the head with a hammer and spend the next hour raping her as she bleed to death on the floor. If your girlfriend opens the door to this man then he could very easily force his way into the house and rape her / attack her / hurt her. If such a man comes knocking on the door your girlfriend is KEEP THE DOOR LOCKED / NOT OPEN THE DOOR and call you immediately and let you know this man has come to your house without been invited first.

Likewise you need to explain to this man that you DO NOT WANT any uninvited knocks on the door. That you do NOT CARE if he is just in the area, you do NOT CARE if this man thinks he has left something in your house / lost something in your house. Explain to this man that if he loses or leaves something in your house then he should message YOU (the man) and you will search the house for his property. Let this man know that under no circumstances is he to come knocking on your door without been invited, I usually back that up by saying something like:

"I know that perhaps sounds a little harsh, I know that sounds a little protective, but basically my older brother and my uncle are both police officers and they visit our house every week with their families and on occasion if my brother or uncle turn up and I have friends here that my brother / uncle doesn't know then my brother or uncle spend an hour interrogating my friend. That my brother and uncle are both protective of me, been police officers they are naturally suspicious of people they don't know and end up asking my friends for their names / addresses / where they work / who they are / when they was born / why they are here at my house. Also its worth noting that my parents, and my girlfriends parents often visit. If that is not bad enough we have several very nosy neighbours who watch our street carefully. It would honestly be best if you only ever came to our house if you have been invited by me, that way we can make sure my brother / uncle / parents / friends won't be turning up"

In my experience that is a great thing to say to a new man, it makes them believe that you have "Police Backup" that one phone call from you and within minutes your brother and uncle will come crashing through the door to rescue you with half the local police force behind them. This lets a man know that if he comes near your house uninvited them there is a dam good chance your family will see him / your parents will see him / that you will have friends with you / that your nosy neighbours will see him sneaking around your property.

7: THREAT OF POLICE ACTION: This is not a rule, but it is something to consider. In some cases I have met a new man for MMF / MFM threesomes and on meeting this man I have spoken to him in a calm but genuine manor and said something like.....

"Hey I know this perhaps sounds a bit heavy and I'm not threatening you in any respect whatsoever, but please understand we have our relationship to protect, we have our home to protect, our lives to protect, our family to protect, our jobs to protect, and sure I'm perhaps happy to try a friendship and some threesomes with you, BUT PLEASE BE WARNED if we receive any trouble from you whatsoever, if you harass me or my girlfriend, if you break our rules or boundaries, if you turn up to our home uninvited, if you try and stalk my girlfriend or ask her for affairs then I will NOT THINK TWICE about calling the police and putting an harassment order against you. Sorry of that sounds harsh or threatening but we are nice people, we are clean, we are genuine but we won't stand for our lives been put in any danger because of this"

Yes I agree it sounds harsh but you let this man know form word go that if he causes you any trouble then you will call the police and tell them he is harassing you / stalking your girlfriend. This is perhaps so effective because about 80% of men will NOT WANT any police involvement in their lives. If this man was to be arrested for harassment / stalking type behaviour that could get back to his family and friends, it could blacken his name / it could effect his future job prospects.

In some cases you might meet a man for a threesome and his really he might just want to get your girlfriend to run away with him, that he might want to start a private affair with your girlfriend, his entire intention for having a threesome with you might simply be to attempt to steal your girlfriend for his own private sexual needs. Now however in the back of his mind he knows if he tries to steal your girlfriend then there is a dam good chance you will call the police and say he is harassing you. It really helps to stop such men trying idiot moves.

8: NEVER LEFT ALONE: To reinforce some of these ideas / rules its best if you meet the man together as a couple and that you NEVER leave your girlfriend alone with this man. For example you DON'T leave your girlfriend alone with this man for 15 minutes whilst you make drinks. You DON'T leave your girlfriend alone with this man for 30 minutes whilst you cook food. If you have to leave your girlfriend alone with this man then you make sure you are very quick indeed, that you get back to the situation ASAP before this man has chance to ask your girlfriend to meet him alone, before this man has chance to pull out his mobile phone and ask your girlfriend for her mobile phone number.

That actually if you are always there then this man can not ask for your girlfriends phone number without you hearing, he can not invite your girlfriend for a romantic meal alone without you hearing. Remember for an affair to start this man needs to swap phone numbers with your girlfriend / he needs to arrange to meet her alone / he needs to swap details such as giving her his email address ECT. If you are always there he can not do this easily. Sure leave this man alone with your girlfriend for an hour and he might ask for her mobile number, he might give her his mobile number, if you don't leave them alone then he will have very limited chances to do this.

THE REALITY OF THE SITUATION:

I think this sometimes pisses me off about people into this lifestyle because some people will basically give advice such as:

"Just jump in and see what happens / just give it a go and relax / just meet someone everyone is perfectly safe / just relax with the person you meet"

In reality however you are actually meeting a TOTAL STRANGER and in most cases you know 0% about this person, you don't even know if the name they are using is real, you don't even know is they have a major STD, you don't actually know much about them at all and sure in most cases that person might turn out to be a nice person, but in some cases they can easily turn out to be a awful person, they could turn out to be a violent nasty person / they could turn out to be a obsessive stalker type person / they could turn out to be mentally unstable / they could be a rapist / for all you know they could be a serial killer, so sure some people might say my views are paranoid, some people might say my views are over the top, but actually I'd rather be safe than sorry.

That actually there is NOTHING WRONG with having some rules / safety precautions / some safety barriers that keep these men away from your life and relationship. Sure you can have a threesome with a guy but that does not mean you have to bend over backwards and let this man do whatever he likes, that does not mean you have to hand him your girlfriends phone number and personal details on a silver plate. Yes you can have a threesome but that doesn't mean you can't protect your lives as well, that doesn't mean you can't protect your partner / your home / your relationship.

I always think of one particular story that happened in the USA.

I mean there was once a man who lived in the USA and sure he had a difficult childhood, he had some early problems in his teen life, but after that point he attended the UPS (University of Puget Sound) and after that attended the university of Washington to study the Chinese language. He also volunteered on the presidential campaign and was a keen political activist. After this point he attended the University of Washington to study psychology where he became an "Honour Student" and the teachers at the university held him in high regard.

After graduating from university he again followed his political career and worked on the governors re-election campaign and was given a position in the state republican party. He also tuck a job working for a suicide crisis hotline where he helped people in distress. Later he again attended the university of Utah to study a law degree. I mean in total this man has studied music / the Chinese language / psychology as a honours student / and now a law degree.

Everyone who knew him described him as clean / smart / intelligent / fun / dedicated. I mean virtually everyday this man was walking around in a suit and tie, he looked professional, he acted professional, he was a keen politician, he was a smart educated man, some women called him attractive / interesting / charming. In all respects he appeared to be a hardworking and dedicated man, he was a keen musician, he was a well educated man, he was clean, some people even say kind and trustworthy.

That man was TED BUNDY the same man who brutally tortured, raped, and killed over 36 young women. In the end Ted Bundy admitted to 36 brutal killings of women but many investigators including his own defence team at the time believe there was more victims than 36. In appearance Ted Bundy was a clean, educated, well dressed man who appeared to be a honest hardworking outstanding citizen, behind the scenes he would drag young women into secluded places and spend hours torturing and raping them before finally killing them.

.

.

I think some swingers are too quick to say "Jump In / Give it a Go / Just Trust Everyone / Just Meet a Total Stranger and Fuck"

Personally I'd prefer to air on the side of caution, I'd rather have some rules in place that help protect my life / my partners life / our home / our relaitonship. In some very rare cases your girlfriend meeting a man alone for coffee could be a death sentence, so sure have a threesome with a guy, but also keep him at arms length, create some barriers between him and your girlfriend, don't give him your girlfriend phone number, don't give him access to your girlfriend personal details, don't allow him to meet your girlfriend alone, make sure if he comes knocking on your door without been invited that your girlfriend doesn't even open the door.

The original poster here seems concerned that he will have a threesome and his girlfriend will run away with this new man / start an affair with this new man / like this new man better.

I say again how is this man going to start an affair with your girlfriend if you are always there, if he doesn't actually have your girlfriend phone number, if he doesn't have your girlfriend email address or personal details. You can still have threesomes with him, you can still becomes friends with him, but NO that doesn't mean he needs the keys to your girlfriends entire life, there is nothing wrong at all with having some barriers and rules to keep such men away from your girlfriend and relationship.

If I couldn't trust my wife to handle all of this on her own we would not be in the LS.

Thank you all so much for the responses! Most were better thought out and articulated than my original post, which was written in haste as I didn’t expect there to be a real community here giving personal replies so thank you. As for my concerns; I’m not a jealous or insecure man and I’m not afraid of losing my girl, we’re good, and our relationship is light and fun as are we both individually. It’s just new territory for me and wanted some feedback from others experiences. It’s easy to get it in my head that all other men in the LS may be xtra endowed and that it could be demeaning in some situations, I mean I definitely wouldn’t want my girl feeling bad for me. The replies I’ve received have given me a good sense judgement won’t come in to play much and i think we would bothe really enjoy the experience.

Now I just want to find a good way to meet some other open minded people in our area and see how it goes. Any advice is more than welcome. Sun and moon; thank you for the advice, very insightful. And thank you to the rest who’ve responded! Hope to hear more from you