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smithylife91

After years of talking wife is ready to try...

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After years of talking on and off, the wife has come around to trying swinging for the first time on three conditions:

 

1. It has to be in Vegas.

 

2. It has to be an escort experience the first time so there is no awkwardness in interaction. The dude needs to get her in the mood.

 

3. If either of us don't like the experience we end it and forget about pursuing and just use the 'what stays in Vegas....' thinking..

 

This has taken a long, long time for her to come around...but on a trial experience. I think if the experience goes well there is chance to continue to real swinging. I feel like its a good compromise but the logistics of it all is daunting...

 

Has anyone had similar 'trial' experiences in Vegas or else where? How did it go?

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You are on your own, but we would never use an escort. It has nothing to do with paying or morality. We just get a kick out of playing with people like us who are into sex as a hobby, not a job. Ever think of trying a lifestyle club in Vegas? Don’t want to rewrite or ruin your fantasy, though.

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You are on your own, but we would never use an escort. It has nothing to do with paying or morality. We just get a kick out of playing with people like us who are into sex as a hobby, not a job. Ever think of trying a lifestyle club in Vegas? Don’t want to rewrite or ruin your fantasy, though.

 

We can't agree more. In addition though the try it once with someone you are paying (a job to them) and decide everything based on one unnatural and forced situation sounds like a lot of pressure to me. IMHO it almost sounds like you're setting yourself up to fail. The lifestyle club approach sounds a lot better - go with NO EXPECTATIONS and see how you like it. Take small steps and expect for there to be bumps in the road. This is true for most anything - not just lifestyle - things rarely are perfect the first time. If you've got the time and can afford to get away for a bit, a week or two at Hedo (or another similar location) would be another way to dip your toes into the lifestyle with no pressure and at your own pace. No matter what you do try to relax and have fun!

 

Anyway just my .02 worth... :rolleyes:

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You're talking about a business transaction. In our opinion, that's not swinging. BTW, isn't "escort" a fancy name for hooker?

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Agreed. I'd much rather meet someone on SLS.com or similar, just have night out in Vegas (get to know) with drinks and take it back to hotel if things click.

 

Just to get to this point is a big step, though

I still have plenty of time to talk her out of it and into a more preferred setup like above. That other issue is safety. baby steps I guess.

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I think you should do it and all your conditions as well.

 

I get the feeling the wife wants a out if needed and that's fine - so it's not swinging but it is getting to see if you to can even consider this, With out the personal feelings towards it.

 

I see it as a big step for a girl that is not sure of any of it and feels she needs to have a way out.

 

Though what the others have said is right also - if you do this then realize it's a far cry from swinging, the things i would hope to get out of this if i were her is this

 

Trusting my husband to stop if needed, Trusting my husband to allow me to go at my pace, trusting my husband in taking into account my worries and fears, and of course trusting my husband. oh did i say that already.

 

Also talking all the way - use this a a test bed for all the things you need and should have. forget the sex part it's a way to a means in so much as you two can get so much more out of this

Things like communication - trust - togetherness. these are the things she's looking for - Before she commits to all out screwing strangers lol.

 

And they are the things you will need if you ever want her to feel she can do this with out guilt and with some one she loves. lastly for a conservative faith based girl, paying for sex is in her mind better then sulting her self out for free.

 

 

hope it made sense.

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Agreed. I'd much rather meet someone on SLS.com or similar, just have night out in Vegas (get to know) with drinks and take it back to hotel if things click.

 

Look at Desire Resort in the Riviera Maya, Mexico. Go and meet real people with zero expectations. Then go again and go again and keep doing that until it happens organically and everyone has an enjoyable experience. There is no finish line in the lifestyle. Go slow and have fun.

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It's been covered already but by choosing a hooker you're really missing out on a lot of things that are good about swinging, it would be much better to go to a club and just go as many times as you like until you feel ready to dabble, you'll get to hear about others experiences , have good conversation and build some connections with some pretty awesome people, you're going to miss out on all that taking the route you're planning

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I think you should do it and all your conditions as well.

 

I get the feeling the wife wants a out if needed and that's fine - so it's not swinging but it is getting to see if you to can even consider this, With out the personal feelings towards it.

 

I see it as a big step for a girl that is not sure of any of it and feels she needs to have a way out.

 

Though what the others have said is right also - if you do this then realize it's a far cry from swinging, the things i would hope to get out of this if i were her is this

 

Trusting my husband to stop if needed, Trusting my husband to allow me to go at my pace, trusting my husband in taking into account my worries and fears, and of course trusting my husband. oh did i say that already.

 

Also talking all the way - use this a a test bed for all the things you need and should have. forget the sex part it's a way to a means in so much as you two can get so much more out of this

Things like communication - trust - togetherness. these are the things she's looking for - Before she commits to all out screwing strangers lol.

 

And they are the things you will need if you ever want her to feel she can do this with out guilt and with some one she loves. lastly for a conservative faith based girl, paying for sex is in her mind better then sulting her self out for free.

 

 

hope it made sense.

 

I will disagree with most of the posts here and agree with luvin eye full.

 

With the escort you will be more emotionally safe. He's not there to be better than you, he's getting paid, it's his job and will make sure at all times that you are both still into it. A bad review of his services on an escort review board can cost him a lot of business.

 

With a single male that you have just met in a club, with both of you basically new at this, the single male you pick may seem after talking to him very respectful and the perfect guy for that first 3some, but the problem is that you never really know since you just met him.

Not all men know how to control the competitive animal most men have in them and in young males that animal is even more present.

 

With the escort you will both be able, in a safer environment, to see which never felt before emotions the 3some will create.

It does not have the natural feel of the club single male, but you have time to get to that.

 

Baby steps...a blow to your marriage is a big risk to take just because with an escort ''its not the same thing''...if this works than you'll better prepared for the club single male.....good luck!

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Baby steps...a blow to your marriage is a big risk to take just because with an escort ''its not the same thing''...if this works than you'll better prepared for the club single male.....good luck!

 

I totally agree with that part but I can't get my head around how having a threesome with a prostitute can be considered taking baby steps

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Baby steps...a blow to your marriage is a big risk to take just because with an escort ''its not the same thing''...if this works than you'll better prepared for the club single male.....good luck!

 

I totally agree with that part but I can't get my head around how having a threesome with a prostitute can be considered taking baby steps

 

Hey - I think the thing were are missing here is her wants - if she feels safe this way then why not - the only other way for "them" to go forward is to follow every ones advice - problem is they have talked and she does not want to do it that way.

 

This all comes from a faith based out look - the old ways hold strong one this one.

To her it is baby steps for a lack of a better word -

I agree that its nothing like swinging - but to her its still screwing some one other then the marriage partner - and here in lays the problem - it all sex outside of that bond.

 

To the OP what ever you two decide please remember that your marriage and devotion to each other is what is most important - i believe that your great respect for each other will guide you in the "right way" what ever you decide that is.

 

Best of luck

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Thanks for all the input. Good points. I'll give an update to this thread a few months from now on where this goes. I doubt it will be indifference. Either we will want to continue past the first experience or we won't.

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The thing I'm getting at is that you say if it doesn't work out then you'll knock it on the head and find a different hobby, but paying someone really isn't anything like swinging so I feel you could end up giving up on swinging having not really tried it in the first place, I sincerely wish you the best of luck down this path , my advice would simply be to communicate as honestly and openly as you can before, during and after this adventure, try and be as clear as you can about what you liked and maybe disliked about the experience, one of the biggest turn ons for Mrs scared is the bit where she feels desired by other people, the flirting and banter is a big part of that , I guess you could say that we're the kind of couple that needs a bit of a connection with the people we play with, we're not just looking for an extra cock or pair of tits to play with and that's the background where my original advice is coming from, also we have learned a lot about ourselves while doing this, and it turned out we werent nearly as adventurous as we thought we were, looking back if we had started with a full swap situation we almost definitely wouldn't have continued, Mrs scared would have had guilt issues, we've had many club visits , starting out we just chatted with others and then over time we have started to play with others to varying degrees, taking our time has allowed us to de-sensitise to certain situations and scenarios which may have been a problem if we had just jumped straight in, if you end up regretting your planned threesome I would still advise you to try a club or two and to not close the door completely

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Scaredstiff said:
The thing I'm getting at is that you say if it doesn't work out then you'll knock it on the head and find a different hobby, but paying someone really isn't anything like swinging so I feel you could end up giving up on swinging having not really tried it in the first place, I sincerely wish you the best of luck down this path , my advice would simply be to communicate as honestly and openly as you can before, during and after this adventure, try and be as clear as you can about what you liked and maybe disliked about the experience, one of the biggest turn-on's for Mrs scared is the bit where she feels desired by other people, the flirting and banter is a big part of that , I guess you could say that we're the kind of couple that needs a bit of a connection with the people we play with, we're not just looking for an extra cock or pair of tits to play with and that's the background where my original advice is coming from, also we have learned a lot about ourselves while doing this, and it turned out we weren't nearly as adventurous as we thought we were, looking back if we had started with a full swap situation we almost definitely wouldn't have continued, Mrs scared would have had guilt issues, we've had many club visits , starting out we just chatted with others and then over time we have started to play with others to varying degrees, taking our time has allowed us to de-sensitise to certain situations and scenarios which may have been a problem if we had just jumped straight in, if you end up regretting your planned threesome I would still advise you to try a club or two and to not close the door completely

 

I agree with you on that it is not anything like swinging -

Best of luck guys

and please do let us know how you went.

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I totally agree that having sex with a prostitute is not like swinging. However, for those of you who are so down on prositutes, I will say at our club there are quite a few girls hanging around who are prosititutes and they swing with different couples every single night. They come with someone who pays them, usually different guys, and nobody bats an eye.

 

Prior to swinging, my husband surprised me one night and a prostitute showed up while we were having drinks at a hotel bar. I was not happy that he had not discussed this with me but that was the way he was. Anyway, we did have a few drinks and go upstairs. He wanted to see me with her but I declined and told him to go ahead. I thought I would be very upset to see him play with someone else but I was not (sure, I was pissed off, but after the fact). It opened the door to swinging because of this...

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...and dispite popular beliefs, prostitution (or escorts) are not legal in Clark county (where LV is located).

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Assuming your post is legit, the Red Rooster is a lot of fun. All different types of couples and singles. You should be able to find what you want there.

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...and dispite popular beliefs, prostitution (or escorts) are not legal in Clark county (where LV is located).
This is absolutely true.

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...and dispite popular beliefs, prostitution (or escorts) are not legal in Clark county (where LV is located).

 

Never got busted when I was a hobbyist in that town, but had several less than satisfying experiences with escorts and such, and paid *way* too much money to boot!

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