Single Men?

Hey Everyone,

Mr. K here. I have another question. Please bear with us as we are new to this and figure it's just best to ask. We have been getting IM's from single men. I'm really not impressed. I'm not saying they are creeps or anything and I'm certainly not judging... I'm just wondering why? (Besides the obvious) Doesn't that defeat the purpose? I understand that there are couples that enjoy inviting a single man into a threesome, however I would think that is the exception and not the norm. How often do these guys actually get involved?

So far this seems to be our only hangup. We are open to swapping eventually but I'm not to keen on some random guy having sex with my wife. A single guy we know? It's possible. A couple we know? More than likely. A guy just hanging around? Not in a million years. If these guys are into the lifestyle wouldn't they have a friend they could bring along? How do you know they aren't creeps just trying to get laid?

I guess what I am trying to say is that we are open to play but everyone needs to have some skin in the game. (Pun intended)You can't come to our party without bringing a side.

I also see a lot of complaints on club reviews regarding this. What are your thoughts?

The old story goes "A man standing on the corner asked every woman that walked by if they wanted to fuck. His friend says doesn't that get you into a lot of trouble? Yes, he says I get slapped a lot, but you would be surprised how many times I get a yes."

Probably the biggest challenge many couples face concerning "single men" is sorting the cheating husbands from the single men. This is our case anyway. We actually have played a few times with a married man BUT we have met his wife a couple of times and she always assures us that she is just fine with him playing alone and she does too.

As far as your main question primarily I would think the key to dealing with single men would be thorough vetting. A lot of talking online/phone and this communication should be primarily with you. A big part of your job in the lifestyle is protecting her from harm. Then a meeting in person and I have heard cases of where this first meeting was between the guys only at first. If all goes well and you decide with you wife to proceed then he meets her and if all three feel good with it proceed from there.

Just my 2 cents.

Generally speaking, I don't have an issue with single men but it's kind of our thing. My wife and I enjoy a good threesome and I like watching her with other guys. It's also easier to find a nice single guy than it is to find a couple we're both interested in who is also interested in us. Not to say we object to playing with couples, but it's not a requirement for us.

That said, we tend to play the club scene more than the online scene. Since being more active with our online profile, we get a lot of messages from single guys that boil down to "wanna fuck" and a dick pic. Those go in the trash. Easy.

I agree with the skin in the game remark. I can do my wife nicely. I don't feel that I need help. We have been to house parties where she has played with multiple men. But I want to play with women.

Hey Everyone,

Mr. K here. I have another question. Please bear with us as we are new to this and figure it's just best to ask. We have been getting IM's from single men. I'm really not impressed. I'm not saying they are creeps or anything and I'm certainly not judging... I'm just wondering why? (Besides the obvious) Doesn't that defeat the purpose? I understand that there are couples that enjoy inviting a single man into a threesome, however I would think that is the exception and not the norm. How often do these guys actually get involved?

So far this seems to be our only hangup. We are open to swapping eventually but I'm not to keen on some random guy having sex with my wife. A single guy we know? It's possible. A couple we know? More than likely. A guy just hanging around? Not in a million years. If these guys are into the lifestyle wouldn't they have a friend they could bring along? How do you know they aren't creeps just trying to get laid?

I guess what I am trying to say is that we are open to play but everyone needs to have some skin in the game. (Pun intended)You can't come to our party without bringing a side.

I also see a lot of complaints on club reviews regarding this. What are your thoughts?

Your opinion about the Swingers' Lifestyle's purpose is misinformed and wrong. It isn't just for wife swapping - that is old school material and it no longer vogue. Its purpose is, sex for pleasure, and it isn't just for couples, married or otherwise; it is also to include single men and women and again not just couples and single women. Men, single or married as well. Of course, you are free to have your reserves and preferences.

I'm just wondering why? (Besides the obvious)

I think you have answered your question:).

Are you looking for reciprocation? Are you doing this so you can have sex with women other than your wife? If you are both doing this to have sex with other people while still being married? I think that's awesome! Party on!

What irritates me is the constant denigrating of single men offering themselves to fulfill the fantasies of willing people. I'm sorry but I've ignored many posts like this. I don't mean any disrespect. You've won the venting lottery. Congratulations! Winner!

I'm posting as someone who's been there and done that. Single, between girlfriends, and married, and that is what a forum is for and why you posted for "thoughts".

Yes. They shouldn't respond to people looking for couples. Give them a break. There is always the chance, and most all of them know, that you might consider a MMF if you have trouble finding another married couple.

We are open to swapping eventually but I'm not to keen on some random guy having sex with my wife. A single guy we know? It's possible.

Establishing a relationship with someone, a couple, takes time. The more people you add the more likely you'll find yourself being disappointed. That is why I'm going to suggest a threesome before I would be on a mission for a foursome (MFMF).

You will most likely end up having sex with some random couple, or single male (or woman). Once the urge is there you're not going to want to wait years.

I guess what I am trying to say is that we are open to play but everyone needs to have some skin in the game. (Pun intended)You can't come to our party without bringing a side.

When i was trying to talk my wife into having sex with another man the one thing she told me that she couldn't bear was to watch me having sex with another woman. I know that is selfish but watching her having sex with another man and enjoying it was worth it. I wasn't interested in reciprocation but having sex with another woman also would have been fun

Good luck. And remember that it is all about having fun!

As said on another thread: Single women in the lifestyle are so rare that they are called 'unicorns' (since find one is almost as easy as finding a unicorn). Single men in the lifestyle are now being called 'cheeseburgers' since they are easier to find than a cheeseburger at McDonalds. If they don't try at every possible chance, they have almost no chance...but that is also why they are so unpopular. Like flies at a picnic or mosquito's at sundown, they buzz around bothering most (but not all). Just ignore them if that's not what you are looking for.

We have invited other men to have threesomes and in my experience the guys only real goal is to sleep with the women.

In other words....

They are not interested in friendship, they are not interested in treating you with respect, they are not interested in talking and getting to know you, they are not interested in your rules or boundaries, they are not interested about your lives dream or hopes, they are not interested if they put your relationship in danger, they have no interest whatsoever in your life, they are not interested in what problems they cause your life.

The only two things they are bothered about is:

A) Getting to have sex with the women

B) Pleasing their penis on a time frame that suits them

There are some nice guys out there, some genuine guys who are interested in this lifestyle but sadly for every 1 good man there are 100 or even a 1000 bad ones.

You will find a huge majority of men looking for threesomes are actually cheating and already have wives and girlfriends at home.

They already have a partner but they still want to get quick easy sex with other people so these single guys figure that swinging is the answer, that they can simply join a swinging site and sleep with other peoples partners without any strings.

What disturbs me the most is that when they join a swinging site these men automatically assume you are a filthy minded hardcore porn star who just wants to speak about sex / sexual acts / filthy chat and they forget totally that you are actually people, all normal human decency goes straight out the window, for example most guys ask you for sex without even introducing themselves.

You will find the key word most men use is.... "DISCREET"

In other words they promise you to be discreet because they do not want their wives and girlfriends finding out, the other words often used are "NSA" No Strings Attached, so often what men are looking for is NSA discreet fun. This means they have 0% interest in you as friends or people but they simply want to sneak off and meet you for 40 minutes and quickly bang the women before they pull up their trousers and quickly run back off to the wife at home.

You will find if you do meet single guys a lot of them turn up to meet you straight after work "Yuk" unbathed stale man or they turn up in their gym gear, that basically a lot of these guys need to find an excuse to meet you. They can tell the wife they had a late shift at work / that they are just going to the gym. Then they sneak off and meet you and want to have sex with your partner in the 40 minutes they have to spare.

I also find a lot of men have a very bad sense of hygiene, that they send you pictures of their penis with pubic hair that has not even been trimmed in 5 years, that they turn up for meets without even bothering to shave or bath themselves.

It is also very often that men are rude to you on line, they will often ask questions or make comments like....

Does your wife take it in the ass?

Does your wife swallow cum?

You want to suck on this fat cock?

Fancy a shag?

Such men I'd personally class as mindless sex driven idiots who I'd not even want near my house never mind my partner.

Personally I have gone off trying to meet a genuine nice single man to play with because the vast majority of them are not interested in us as people but basically want to use us like blow up sex dolls that they can visit at their leisure, plus most of them are lying and cheating on someone.

My overall opinion of single men into this lifestyle is they just want to bang women.

That the women is not a person but just a vagina on legs