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  1. #1

    Default Any Desi husband who convince his Wife for swinging

    I am wondering & need advice esp from Desi (south Asian) husband how to convince wife in swing lifestyle since our culture is very conservative & it's a Taboo hard to break. Thanks.


  2. #2

    Default Re: Any Desi husband who convince his Wife for swinging

    I can't speak directly to your culture because I don't have experience in it, but I don't think a conservative upbringing is anything that unique. I fully understand that there can still be a wide range on the conservative thing, meaning what is very conservative in one culture may just be middle of the road conservative in another.

    When it comes right down to it though I think overcoming anything like that comes down to trust in each other. She has to trust in you that the idea you are presenting about living your lives in a very different way has potential benefits to you both as a couple. She has to trust that you won't judge or think less of her after the fact. She has to trust that should you get outted to friends and family, you will be there for her no matter what. She has to trust that she just isn't being used as your ticket into swinging.

    And those are just for starters, probably lots of others. If it happens at all, it's not going to be quick. It took years for that to be drilled into her head, that's not going to be suddenly all thrown away at once. But, if you show her there is another path, and IF she is interested enough to start exploring it with you by taking baby steps together, then eventually, she may start to see things differently.
    Not all those who wander are lost

  3. #3

    Default Re: Any Desi husband who convince his Wife for swinging

    Quote Originally Posted by cplnuswing View Post
    I can't speak directly to your culture because I don't have experience in it, but I don't think a conservative upbringing is anything that unique. I fully understand that there can still be a wide range on the conservative thing, meaning what is very conservative in one culture may just be middle of the road conservative in another.

    When it comes right down to it though I think overcoming anything like that comes down to trust in each other. She has to trust in you that the idea you are presenting about living your lives in a very different way has potential benefits to you both as a couple. She has to trust that you won't judge or think less of her after the fact. She has to trust that should you get outted to friends and family, you will be there for her no matter what. She has to trust that she just isn't being used as your ticket into swinging.

    And those are just for starters, probably lots of others. If it happens at all, it's not going to be quick. It took years for that to be drilled into her head, that's not going to be suddenly all thrown away at once. But, if you show her there is another path, and IF she is interested enough to start exploring it with you by taking baby steps together, then eventually, she may start to see things differently.
    I agreed mostly with you but I am talking about religious SIN & concept of committing SIN if you go on this path

  4. #4

    Default Re: Any Desi husband who convince his Wife for swinging

    Quote Originally Posted by jomanli123 View Post
    I agreed mostly with you but I am talking about religious SIN & concept of committing SIN if you go on this path

    What is SIN? Sin is hurting someone or causing them problems. Sin is not committed by enjoying some aspect of life where no one else is harmed. God is not insulted because someone enjoys the facilities that He has given us provided no one else is harmed. People that create the false narrative that God is somehow insulted or displeased because of our sexual life are merely trying to exert control over us, usually by using religion.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Any Desi husband who convince his Wife for swinging

    Quote Originally Posted by couplers View Post
    What is SIN? Sin is hurting someone or causing them problems. Sin is not committed by enjoying some aspect of life where no one else is harmed. God is not insulted because someone enjoys the facilities that He has given us provided no one else is harmed. People that create the false narrative that God is somehow insulted or displeased because of our sexual life are merely trying to exert control over us, usually by using religion.
    I have the same believe but I am talking about those who even call it sin for showing some skin. I think the biggest road block I see is religious concept about swinging

  6. #6

    Default Re: Any Desi husband who convince his Wife for swinging

    Quote Originally Posted by jomanli123 View Post
    I agreed mostly with you but I am talking about religious SIN & concept of committing SIN if you go on this path
    I am too. When I said conservative I meant religiously conservative, since in almost all cases when "conservative about anything sexual" is an issue, then religion is right there with it playing some sort of active or lingering role.
    Not all those who wander are lost

  7. #7

    Default Re: Any Desi husband who convince his Wife for swinging

    Hi jomanli123

    How does she view sex within the relationship?
    Are you able to talk about all your fantasy?
    Do you have good communications in outside of sex ( general life partnership ) other wise?
    I ask as this thought of a swinging lifestyle may be a road to far for now?
    When some one like a god fearing good girl see's what you want to do then she has to decide is it OK or is she with Satan himself? ( no i'm not saying you are - just that is the choice she has )

    So what's more important to you also? a wife/SO that you love like no other and want to be with or the possibility of losing her over your own lust?

    Some thing to think about.

    Regards

  8. #8

    Default Re: Any Desi husband who convince his Wife for swinging

    Quote Originally Posted by luvin eye full View Post
    Hi jomanli123

    How does she view sex within the relationship?
    Are you able to talk about all your fantasy?
    Do you have good communications in outside of sex ( general life partnership ) other wise?
    I ask as this thought of a swinging lifestyle may be a road to far for now?
    When some one like a god fearing good girl see's what you want to do then she has to decide is it OK or is she with Satan himself? ( no i'm not saying you are - just that is the choice she has )

    So what's more important to you also? a wife/SO that you love like no other and want to be with or the possibility of losing her over your own lust?

    Some thing to think about.

    Regards
    She loves when I tell her how sexy she looks in those revealing clothes. At first she didn't wear but slowly agreed to wear as long as its not in our neighborhood. She told me that thing which bother her most if someone see her in those clothes. I didn't tell her about my fantasy but she has some idea as I sometime take her pictures when she is revealing. Couple of days ago we had sex & I took some pix when she is giving me BJ & its first time that she didn't mind. I don't know if she is slowly getting to this path

  9. #9

    Default Re: Any Desi husband who convince his Wife for swinging

    Hi jomanli123

    Oh that's actually pretty good for a god fearing women you know. They see pleasing their husband and so forth as part of the job a lot of times so - now she is doing her best to do that.

    Now it's your job to help her feel less ashamed if you can. It is very very hard for them to open up sexually (most times anyway).

    If I were in your shoes I think I would go slowly with her - try to make it a discovery of both your sexual sides and above all do not push her too far too quickly.
    You are in a very good place with her and the journey to finding out just how great sex between two people can be is just starting (so do not screw it up by pushing her to swinging or 3somes - for now)._

    She will need lots of good talk from you about how much you love her and how much you respect her. - Also I'm not sure what religion she is but in the book of psalm's in the old testament (BIBLE) is some great lover's quotes and if they are in holy writings then they have to be good - if they are good between two lovers then she may feel a little less worried.

    As for going out or being seen in revealing clothing don't push that yet - she must be ok with it around you completely before you even think about any thing else. It's going to take some time but you two should enjoy becoming more sexually aware with each other first.

    Best of luck and to you and her. Remember love and respect for her will get you everywhere in the end.


  10. #10

    Default Re: Any Desi husband who convince his Wife for swinging

    Quote Originally Posted by jomanli123 View Post
    She loves when I tell her how sexy she looks in those revealing clothes. At first she didn't wear but slowly agreed to wear as long as its not in our neighborhood.

    If you can afford it, a vacation to a non-sexual place where nudity is normal gives an entirely different perspective. Places I have been in Europe where entire families enjoy being naked changes one's perspective. No one there will know her or you and you can relax, let her be treated in the spa and set a positive tone.

  11. #11
    Don't Forget to Smile!! kikonkrome's Avatar
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    kikonkrome

    Default Re: Any Desi husband who convince his Wife for swinging

    I have certainly met Desi couples at the swing clubs here in Chicago, so your situation is not that unique.

    Good luck!!
    'Don't Dream It, Be It' - Rocky Horror Picture Show

  12. #12

    Default Re: Any Desi husband who convince his Wife for swinging

    if jealousy & Religious are an issue it has nothing to do with being conservative , question is do you love her trust her how would you feel after seeing her with another man trust me the 1st time around a lot of feeling do prop up could be good could be bad but they go away remember you cant go back and undo once taken that path plus it does liberate desi women and like any other women she will be in more control once you start so don't rush try having open conversations . send me a PM perhaps I can share some experiences. Cheers !

  13. #13

    Default Re: Any Desi husband who convince his Wife for swinging

    Quote Originally Posted by Desi1 View Post
    if jealousy & Religious are an issue it has nothing to do with being conservative , question is do you love her trust her how would you feel after seeing her with another man trust me the 1st time around a lot of feeling do prop up could be good could be bad but they go away remember you cant go back and undo once taken that path plus it does liberate desi women and like any other women she will be in more control once you start so don't rush try having open conversations . send me a PM perhaps I can share some experiences. Cheers !
    Thanks Desi1. I sent u PM.

  14. #14

    Default Re: Any Desi husband who convince his Wife for swinging

    Quote Originally Posted by kikonkrome View Post
    I have certainly met Desi couples at the swing clubs here in Chicago, so your situation is not that unique.

    Good luck!!
    Where are these clubs in Chicago if you don't mind sharing with me

  15. #15

    Default Re: Any Desi husband who convince his Wife for swinging

    We are ready but finding someone appropriate is too much work .... so still in the mode of - sometime in future when opportunity presents itself.

  16. #16

    Default Re: Any Desi husband who convince his Wife for swinging

    I am Desi! First thing is to watch soft porn together and then move on to other sections. Watch and have sex for a month and then check to see the feelings of your parter when watching swinger couples! That is the best way to start!

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