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Jaxson1234

Looking for pointers/advice

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Hello all, you probably get this all the time but I'll ask anyway.

 

Me and my wife have been together 15 years, 3 kids. We've never been very kinky together. I've recently developed a fetish of wanting to share her with other men. I'd like to participate but mainly I'd like to watch her be hot and wild with another man.

 

This is so far out in left field for me that I don't know how to put it in to word how I feel without freaking her out. The last thing I want to do is have her think less of me. Her opinion of me is very important. And I love her very much.

 

I would also like to know if anybody could possibly shed some light on to why I may have developed this particular kink

 

Any advice on how to drop the ball on her would be greatly appreciated

 

I don't really expect her to sleep with another man (unless she wanted too of course). I would just like her to know how I feel and mabe play along even if it's just fantasy play. Thank you all so much

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:Welcome:

 

Way to start off with a bunch of questions (it's ok, it's what we do). I'll give some quick answers and we'll see where it goes from there.

 

I would also like to know if anybody could possibly shed some light on to why I may have developed this particular kink

 

Because there is something terribly wrong with you...J/K. There's lots of reasons but the top ones are: 1. Because its always good to know that somebody else wants your S/O as much as you do you want her. 2. You love her enough that you want to be able to help her fulfill her fantasies and desires. 3. It's hot. Who can tell what or why the human mind wants different things and what does it really matter?

 

Any advice on how to drop the ball on her would be greatly appreciated

 

Very popular topic. Start in the Curious About Swinging forum and just read. Short answer is talk to her. Longer answer is usually start talking about the fantasies that both of you have. Longest answer involves love, trust, and communication. Start working on making all three your top priority and work to improve all three. No matter what happens, this is ALWAYS a great idea no matter what the outcome is. Start reading and ask more questions as they come up. Good luck and glad to have you here.

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:welcome from Oklahoma, Jaxson!

 

My guess is that it's hot for your wife to be having sex with another guy because its not accepted behavior, but it's more than that. I felt enormous pride when my wife was fucking Mr. Playmate to the edge of his endurance, her toes pointed to the ceiling while holding his ass in place and shouting encouragement. It made me want to impress Mrs. Playmate just as much. I think there are as many reasons for swinging as there are couples who swing. The absolute best part of swinging is after the playtime, when you and your wife are at home in each other's arms. It's wonderful and there is no replacement.

 

The best way to build interest by your wife is to ask, "Sweetheart, how do you feel about swinging?" Listen to her and delve into her mind. Bring her to this website and research the sport together.

 

In swinging, we didn't "made love." Rather, we did "fun fucking." Swingersboard.com has everything y'all need to learn the difference.

 

Read the free section of our book. Use the link below.

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Thanks guys for the warm welcome. From what I gather it's not that uncommon for a man to imagine his wife with anothe man. Common or not it's hot as hell. Lol.

 

This weekend I will ask about her fantasies(though she usually says she doesn't have any). But there's got to be something there. Doesn't everybody have fantasies?

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Everybody has fantasies. Honestly if you are not already doing kinky stuff, probably not gonna happen. IMHO.

 

Good luck trying to find out her fantasies and fulfilling them, and I do not mean that facetiously.

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Are you guys using toys , vibrators etc when you're in the bedroom ?

If not you need to maybe start there , watch porn together, have conversations about what both your thoughts are regarding the action on screen.

 

Really what I'm saying is you need to build it from the bottom up, as you say you haven't really got kinky together before I wouldn't jump straight in to the watching her have sex thing, maybe fantasising about a threesome with you and another guy is a slightly softer approach as you are both involved

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I totally get what you're going through. Raised in a household where sex wasn't talked about, emotions get a little strange when you start having feelings toward certain kinks or fetishes. The way I feel is that you want to see your wife enjoy herself and you want to give her as much pleasure as she can handle.Women have that same feeling too watching their husbands with other women as stated just recently.So go slow with it just bring it up during bedroom talk, watch a little porn mfm with her if she's ok with it. During conversation she'll let you know when she's ready.

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Maybe bring it up to her if you two get drunk, as her inhibitions will be lowered and she'll be more open to discussing taboo things. Then rediscuss those things the next day when sober and see if she is receptive!

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Thanks everybody, we do use toys from time to time. And I don't really expect her to jump right in, I just like her to know how I feel and maybe she'd be open to start slow with a little role play. We have watched porn of three ways and she gets really turned on, like gets really hot and wet. But she's a little embarrassed to admit it I think.

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It's quite normal for her to feel and act that way , my wife still clams up from time to time, sometimes she just might not be feeling it at the time, in the early days she would have admiral akbar in her head saying " it's a trap!".

The thought of it obviously turns your wife on, so you are further down the road than your original post suggests.

 

One thing I did for my wife once is I set up a pretend threesome for her, I blindfolded her and tied her to the bed , I'd already text her on the way home and told her to wear something sexy , I told her I had a surprise for her, that I had another guy with me and we were both going to fuck her, man she was shaking with excitement and nerves (I thought about how disappointed she was going to be at this point when she realised it was just me and a new suction cup dildo lol) I talked her through every step of the way , saying stuff like " he wants you to suck his cock while I eat you" she got super hot and was actually relieved when she realised it was just a toy, at that moment she relaxed more and really got into the role play. It was so hot looking back, we'd never done anything that intense before and I was crapping myself that it wouldn't go right, in fact there were a few fail moments where the suction cup dildo kept coming unstuck , but we had a good laugh about it later.

With my wife when she's getting naughty she likes me to take control, she wants the decisions to be made for her, and told what to do, it excuses her from acting like a slut and stops her from feeling bad about it because she can always fall back on " you told me to do it" or " I only did it for you ".

Some wives will find it easier than others but I know my wife needs to separate being the mother to my kids and being my dirty lover .

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Scaredstiff:

...in the early days she would have admiral akbar in her head saying " it's a trap!".

 

:rofl: I thought only my SO quoted Star Wars. That is SO hot.

 

Love/Trust/Communication: work on all three and your entire relationship will improve. She needs to feel like she can tell you anything without fear and then she will begin to open up (more). Society says that playing with another woman is bad, she needs to know that you don't have a problem with her doing anything and will not hold her accountable or punish her for wanting to do this.

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This is great advice. To tell you the truth I'd already run this scenario throug my head. Blind fold her, tie her up and tell her there's a friend of mine waiting outside and he's going to fuck her with his giant cock. Of course it would really be a toy, but it would be fun to see her reaction.

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Thank you all for the advice. We've been busy bees over the weekend. Oldest was in middle school beauty walk Saturday. Got miss congeniality, most photogenic and 1st runner up. Middle had a basketball game earlier that morning and younges was in a play at church Sunday morning. On top of all that I was working midnights? Anyways just now getting a chance to read over the replys. Thanks so much and I'll keep you posted!!

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