Will larger penis loosen/stretch vagina?

Hi,

I've been considering getting involved in the lifestyle but there's one major issue I'd like to clarify before making any decision - If my partner has sex with a well endowed man, even just 2 or 3 times spaced apart, will her vagina feel looser to me?

I have an average sized penis and I'm just worried that if we were to try the lifestyle and after a couple of encounters decide it really wasn't for us, that her vagina's natural aroused state would widen, expecting a larger penis. I have read about women struggling with large penises initially but over time they adjust to their partner's increased size. I'm worried that a few encounters could change her and result in reduced enjoyment of sex between ourselves. I guess what I'm asking is will her vagina feel looser or stretched to me? And likewise, will I feel small and physically not as fulfilling to her?

I presume people on this board will have experience of situations like this and would know firsthand whether my concerns are justified or whether it's complete nonsense.

Thank you in advance.

The aspect about it permanently changing is nonsense for sure.

If you're concerned about her not being satisfied with you after being with larger partners, I think that's more of a relationship issue to navigate between the two of you to make sure you feel like you trust her to do this.

The aspect about it permanently changing is nonsense for sure.

 

If you're concerned about her not being satisfied with you after being with larger partners, I think that's more of a relationship issue to navigate between the two of you to make sure you feel like you trust her to do this.

Thanks for reply.

It's just the physical really I'm focused on. Like if we try this and after a period of time either one of us decides we don't want to pursue it, I'd just like some reassurance that things will be remain exactly the same for us physically. I wouldn't like to think that a failed experiment could result in her feeling looser to me in future, or sex being less enjoyable for her. At the end of the day our relationship is our my number one focus. If we can get involved in the lifestyle and experience other people while still being able to maintain our own relationship and for sex between us to remain the same, then that would be ideal. I certain wouldn't like to go down the road of cuckolding though where she needs a larger penis to feel satisfied.

Have you experienced this yourself where your partner has had encounters with more well endowed men? Has she felt any less tight to you, when it's just you and her together, away from the lifestyle?

Hello, "stupidquestion", and welcome to SwingersBoard!

The Mrs and I have been in the lifestyle for two and a half years. My wife has played with many guys- including guys whose cocks are bigger (specifically, longer and thicker) than mine. We enjoy sex between us just as much as we did before we entered the swinging world. Actually, check that- we enjoy it a lot more, because we are both better at it now!

A vagina is an amazing organ. It can stretch to allow a newborn baby to pass through, and still hug a penis tightly during sex. Your wife's vagina will not be permanently stretched due to having sex with a guy who is bigger than you!

Of much more importance to the future of your relationship with your wife are factors such as the strength of your relationship now, your openness and honesty of communication, and the level of enthusiasm that you both bring to the idea of entering the lifestyle. These are the areas where it's important for both of you to focus and prepare, discuss and agree, before making the leap into the lifestyle.

I encourage you to poke around the forums and read about how other successful couples have navigated their entry into the swinging lifestyle by communicating openly; sharing not only their fantasies, but also their fears; and coming to agreement about their preferences, desires, limits, and boundaries.

Good luck to both of you! We hope to hear more of you around the forums!

Thanks for reply.

 

It's just the physical really I'm focused on. Like if we try this and after a period of time either one of us decides we don't want to pursue it, I'd just like some reassurance that things will be remain exactly the same for us physically. I wouldn't like to think that a failed experiment could result in her feeling looser to me in future, or sex being less enjoyable for her. At the end of the day our relationship is our my number one focus. If we can get involved in the lifestyle and experience other people while still being able to maintain our own relationship and for sex between us to remain the same, then that would be ideal. I certain wouldn't like to go down the road of cuckolding though where she needs a larger penis to feel satisfied.

 

Have you experienced this yourself where your partner has had encounters with more well endowed men? Has she felt any less tight to you, when it's just you and her together, away from the lifestyle?

Hey stupidquestion

What your talking about is what I call PVM (partner vaginal memory). Yes it does happen but not in short term swinging where each partner is different, if your wife was to have a FWB on a long term that was bigger than you may find she is a little ..uhm er..sloppy to you? (no way of say that nicely sorry)

What happens is that your partner gets ready for sex with you and her V will expand to what is comfortable for sex with you but the V remembers the the larger one - she is not doing this on purpose it's her mind getting ready to take a penis. (it happens a lot when a girl goes from a LR with a bigger P)

That's why if your girl has children she can give birth then go back to what is still as small as before or pretty close because giving birth is not a PVM response. (given no damage was done during birth)

So what can be done ... Talking with the wife and letting her know of your concerns - your going to need some good communication so this is just part of it - there will be other things in this LS that you are going to need to talk about and some of it may not be easy to do so start telling each other now so when the hard stuff comes up your ready for it (though every thing maybe good it's better to prepare for it).

Now as for the physical side - short term should be fine, but the general muscle tone of anyone, not just your wife but you too lol, can be strengthened. This will help in all sorts of ways but to your point general muscle tone and kegels will help.

Regards.

Our experience has been the opposite. After a big one or three in a gang bang, her little pet shrinks down as if to say "OK, boys, its closing time". It can be hard to have a goodnight romp after the guys are gone. A couple of days later, back to normal.

Hey stupidquestion

 

what your talking about is what I call PVM (partner vaginal memory)

I've never heard this term before, and a quick Google kicked out no results. Do you have a source you can cite for this? I'd like to read up on it.

But if you fuck a lot of tight pussies your cock will get thinner over time.

Maybe that is why anal is a rare treat then, she's trying to do me a favor!!

I've never heard this term before, and a quick Google kicked out no results. Do you have a source you can cite for this? I'd like to read up on it.

Haha it's just what I call it. If you google "some like going from a bigger penis to smaller" then you'll find hundreds if not thousands of posts from women that are having problems readjusting to their new guy. It's not a bad thing, it's about long term relationships with a bigger dick - it's all mental and about how the body adapts to sex with different partners over time - the time it takes can be different for all chicks.

Like I said in a short term like GB's or once in a while it will not make a difference.

But what the OP is asking about is what happens in long term relationships this can take years. I'll see if I can find a link that explains it better. lol

Regards.

I've never heard this term before, and a quick Google kicked out no results. Do you have a source you can cite for this? I'd like to read up on it.

So I just looked up google and this was 1st on the list - Having issues adjusting back to husband's penis after separation

There are a lot - if you read some of the old posts here you'll find that even in the GB's there are some chicks that say it takes them a week to go back to normal, have they been stretched out? NO!

Most think it's a mental aspect to this and I do as well. If your partner was big and you got to the point that you can have sex with comfort yet it took however long to get there, months or years, that's because the V will go to the fit the size it thinks is coming. When someone breaks up and goes to a different penis say less girth then for a while when she gets aroused the response is to go to the body's comfort zone.

So nothing is stretched out or no good - it's just a calibration really, and I would think that at least some girls here have had that experience?

Regards.

So I just looked up google and this was 1st on the list - Having issues adjusting back to husband's penis after separation

 

There are a lot - if you read some of the old posts here you'll find that even in the GB's there are some chicks that say it takes them a week to go back to normal, have they been stretched out? NO!

 

Most think it's a mental aspect to this and I do as well. If your partner was big and you got to the point that you can have sex with comfort yet it took however long to get there, months or years, that's because the V will go to the fit the size it thinks is coming. When someone breaks up and goes to a different penis say less girth then for a while when she gets aroused the response is to go to the body's comfort zone.

 

So nothing is stretched out or no good - it's just a calibration really, and I would think that at least some girls here have had that experience?

 

Regards.

In that Reddit thread you cite, it was the OP who put forward the proposition that her vagina had some kind of calibration or memory effect. I don't buy it myself.

I think we might do our OP, and guys in general, a disservice by propagating a likely misinformed myth about female sexual function that feeds into some guys' basic insecurities.

Also, it's worth noting that our OP here was not referring to months and months of continued sex with a larger guy- he was talking about a few encounters, spaced apart.

Thanks for all your replies guys, much appreciated.

In that Reddit thread you cite, it was the OP who put forward the proposition that her vagina had some kind of calibration or memory effect. I don't buy it myself.

 

I think we might do our OP, and guys in general, a disservice by propagating a likely misinformed myth about female sexual function that feeds into some guys' basic insecurities.

 

Also, it's worth noting that our OP here was not referring to months and months of continued sex with a larger guy- he was talking about a few encounters, spaced apart.

I had actually seen that reddit post before posting here and yes it scared the crap out of me. Based on everything I've researched vaginas do seem to adapt to larger penises over time. I couldn't find much on going back to smaller penises after, besides that reddit post. I have read anecdotal evidence about guys who have felt their partners quite loose, who then find out that yes their previous partner had a larger member.

I figured this forum would be the perfect place to ask as someone has surely experienced this exact scenario.

Hello, "stupidquestion", and welcome to SwingersBoard!

 

The Mrs and I have been in the lifestyle for two and a half years. My wife has played with many guys- including guys whose cocks are bigger (specifically, longer and thicker) than mine. We enjoy sex between us just as much as we did before we entered the swinging world. Actually, check that- we enjoy it a lot more, because we are both better at it now!

A vagina is an amazing organ. It can stretch to allow a newborn baby to pass through, and still

hug a penis tightly during sex. Your wife's vagina will not be permanently stretched due to having sex with a guy who is bigger than you!

So would you say based on your experience that your wife feels exactly as tight to you as she did before her encounters with larger partners?

So would you say based on your experience that your wife feels exactly as tight to you as she did before her encounters with larger partners?

Yes, to the extent that it is possible to tell, and keeping in mind that people change over the years. Her pussy, as does every other woman's pussy, is a flexible organ that is built to adjust to different sizes, and has muscles that contract with arousal.

What does your wife think about this question, and about the notion of swinging in general?

Yes, to the extent that it is possible to tell, and keeping in mind that people change over the years. Her pussy, as does every other woman's pussy, is a flexible organ that is built to adjust to different sizes, and has muscles that contract with arousal.

 

What does your wife think about this question, and about the notion of swinging in general?

I'm just a worrier I guess. Like obviously it's a big decision, I'm just looking for reassurance that if it doesn't work out everything will be as it was. So really you're saying, based on your own experience, that even just 2 or 3 encounters with larger men spaced apart would point blank not affect how tight she feels, not even a sliver?

I'm just looking to put my mind at ease before jumping in!

Thanks for all your replies guys, much appreciated.

 

 

 

I had actually seen that reddit post before posting here and yes it scared the crap out of me. Based on everything I've researched vaginas do seem to adapt to larger penises over time. I couldn't find much on going back to smaller penises after, besides that reddit post. I have read anecdotal evidence about guys who have felt their partners quite loose, who then find out that yes their previous partner had a larger member.

 

I figured this forum would be the perfect place to ask as someone has surely experienced this exact scenario.

 

 

 

So would you say based on your experience that your wife feels exactly as tight to you as she did before her encounters with larger partners?

Don't worry about that reddit post. Not going to comment about that site because that isn't the point of this thread. Let's just say that was one person on one site saying something different than almost all of us has experienced.

This forum is the perfect place to ask that question by the way.

And to answer it, yes she feels the same after 20 years of being together and 14 years of swinging. We both had quite a few lovers before we met, one of her's being a "12 incher". She felt quiet snug the first night and she felt quite snug last night.

In that Reddit thread you cite, it was the OP who put forward the proposition that her vagina had some kind of calibration or memory effect. I don't buy it myself.

 

I think we might do our OP, and guys in general, a disservice by propagating a likely misinformed myth about female sexual function that feeds into some guys' basic insecurities.

 

Also, it's worth noting that our OP here was not referring to months and months of continued sex with a larger guy- he was talking about a few encounters, spaced apart.

Yes I was going to not say anything but to OP's point if you read what I was telling him that he does not have to worry as the affect is different for all chicks and it would take a long term partner of some size and that it would be ok anyway because everything goes back to normal.

It also worth noting that I was talking about the long term because as you would see that was the whole point he has nothing to worry about -

If you don't like other opinions that's fine - but I don't buy a lot of your stuff as well but I do respect it.

Regards

I'm just a worrier I guess. Like obviously it's a big decision, I'm just looking for reassurance that if it doesn't work out everything will be as it was. So really you're saying, based on your own experience, that even just 2 or 3 encounters with larger men spaced apart would point blank not affect how tight she feels, not even a sliver?

 

I'm just looking to put my mind at ease before jumping in!

Lol

I was not trying to scare you I was trying to show that if there was an effect it would take a very long time and not just few times - I thought that was clear, the only reason that I even posted it was to help - sorry dude.

But if you fuck a lot of tight pussies your cock will get thinner over time.

Yeah it's like what I was saying about having too much tight pussy you can get PSE the "pencil sharpener effect"

This is a joke right? You are joking right?

In regards to the vagina contracting or expanding, do you have kids? I mean if you have been with any woman that has a kid come out of there you would pretty soon realize the vagina seeks it's own special size.

We were with a lady just recently that had obviously had a few kids naturally, trust me I had the opportunity to examine her body pretty closely, and I took advantage of that opportunity. Her vagina was just really small. Also by her own account she had plenty of other guys long term and short term that I would guess were both bigger and smaller than me. Man she was tight!!

I would say that reddit post although popular is total BS and is just internet fallacy. Vagina's expand and contract, by definition.

If you don't like other opinions that's fine - but I don't buy a lot of your stuff as well but I do respect it.

luvin eye full, no disrespect toward you was intended, nor did I think any disrespect was shown. I do respectfully disagree about the phenomenon of "PVM", by whatever name science might call it if it existed. I simply do not think it is a real thing.

To stupidquestion's latest point... I understand, stupidquestion, that you are worrying about this particular physiological question, but I really think you do not have anything to worry about on the issue of vaginal stretching. What I've been trying to highlight are the more prominent issues to the relationship of new swinger couples- communication, trust, and enthusiasm on both your parts.

This is a joke right? You are joking right?

 

 

In regards to the vagina contracting or expanding, do you have kids? I mean if you have been with any woman that has a kid come out of there you would pretty soon realize the vagina seeks it's own special size.

 

We were with a lady just recently that had obviously had a few kids naturally, trust me I had the opportunity to examine her body pretty closely, and I took advantage of that opportunity. Her vagina was just really small. Also by her own account she had plenty of other guys long term and short term that I would guess were both bigger and smaller than me. Man she was tight!!

 

I would say that reddit post although popular is total BS and is just internet fallacy. Vagina's expand and contract, by definition.

That's the point I was trying to make to the OP, by the way the redit post was just one of many, if you look up gang bangs on this very site you will find many girls say they snap back shortly after - and you will also find at lest one member here that says it can take up to a week for her to "snap back". My point is that V's adjust so they can accommodate all sizes -

But anyway to the OP your dick will be fine and her V will be too don't worry.

Stretching a vagina permanently is a male vanity. A female friend of ours who is into BDSM and fisting assures us that a vaginal canal recovers very nicely after becoming stretched -- first hand experience, if you will allow a poor pun.

luvin eye full, no disrespect toward you was intended, nor did I think any disrespect was shown. I do respectfully disagree about the phenomenon of "PVM", by whatever name science might call it if it existed. I simply do not think it is a real thing.

 

To stupidquestion's latest point... I understand, stupidquestion, that you are worrying about this particular physiological question, but I really think you do not have anything to worry about on the issue of vaginal stretching. What I've been trying to highlight are the more prominent issues to the relationship of new swinger couples- communication, trust, and enthusiasm on both your parts.

No worries then, the reddit post was just the first post that came up, one member wanted to Google. There are more and if you go and read some of the GB and loose threads you'll find them on this site as well.

As for not helping any one I have made a few threads to try and ease the minds of the less experienced fellows regarding how they stack up. I'm all for guys to feel good when they swing, or even when just with their partner, and that's why I put it up, because some girls do have this (from what they say not me telling them, needing time to re-adjust). But if we do not call it out for what it really is then you get the old "oh she is stretched out from bla bla" which is BS

Lastly if there ever is a study done on it I think they should call it PVM lol

Regards

This is a joke right? You are joking right?

 

 

In regards to the vagina contracting or expanding, do you have kids? I mean if you have been with any woman that has a kid come out of there you would pretty soon realize the vagina seeks it's own special size.

 

We were with a lady just recently that had obviously had a few kids naturally, trust me I had the opportunity to examine her body pretty closely, and I took advantage of that opportunity. Her vagina was just really small. Also by her own account she had plenty of other guys long term and short term that I would guess were both bigger and smaller than me. Man she was tight!!

 

I would say that reddit post although popular is total BS and is just internet fallacy. Vagina's expand and contract, by definition.

Yes a joke , to lighten the mood

Yes a joke , to lighten the mood

Or you could call it PPM.

PPM?

No PVM I'm going to trade mark it lol.

PPM?

Partner Penis Memory.

So I just looked up google and this was 1st on the list -

 

There are a lot - if you read some of the old posts here you'll find that even in the GB's there are some chicks that say it takes them a week to go back to normal, have they been stretched out? NO!

 

Most think it's a mental aspect to this and I do as well. If your partner was big and you got to the point that you can have sex with comfort yet it took however long to get there, months or years, that's because the V will go to the fit the size it thinks is coming. When someone breaks up and goes to a different penis say less girth then for a while when she gets aroused the response is to go to the body's comfort zone.

 

So nothing is stretched out or no good - it's just a calibration really, and I would think that at least some girls here have had that experience?

 

Regards.

So you would posit that even in cases like this, going forward a woman will eventually recalibrate to a smaller penis? That her vagina won't continue to enlarge to the size of the larger partner? That in a nutshell, she will eventually recalibrate, any looseness will pass and she will once again feel tight to the average sized penis?

So you would posit that even in cases like this, going forward a woman will eventually recalibrate to a smaller penis? That her vagina won't continue to enlarge to the size of the larger partner? That in a nutshell, she will eventually recalibrate, any looseness will pass and she will once again feel tight to the average sized penis?

Yes, I was trying to show how in some cases were the girls have said it happens that it's not life long so what you are saying is right. I also was trying to show (probably in a roundabout way) that the myth of "being stretched out or ruined" is just that a myth. So really I was trying to stick up for the boys and girls but some times it just doesn't come out that way sorry.

Have you read this post Your dick is fine - old post for new guys that worry

You'll see there is nothing to worry about for you or your wife.

Regards

Simple proof:

I don't wish to be crude but here goes. My penis is much thicker than a finger. I fuck my wife with this penis on a daily basis for years and years, yet still every time I put one finger inside her during foreplay it feels tight. She can easily orgasm with this one finger (with some clit play) and her pussy grips my finger to the point it is actually hard work to move it in and out when she is close to orgasm.

So in conclusion, my cock hasn't ruined things for my finger and bigger cocks won't ruin things for your cock.

Simple proof:

I don't wish to be crude but here goes. My penis is much thicker than a finger. I fuck my wife with this penis on a daily basis for years and years, yet still every time I put one finger inside her during foreplay it feels tight. She can easily orgasm with this one finger (with some clit play) and her pussy grips my finger to the point it is actually hard work to move it in and out when she is close to orgasm.

 

So in conclusion, my cock hasn't ruined things for my finger and bigger cocks won't ruin things for your cock.

Lol well this is my last post on this as I sit here banging my head on the desk.

1st off, I did not make this up- I am only telling what other chicks have said on this site and others - go tell them they are bullshitters, not me. I just gave it a pet name, so sue me lol.

2nd, none of the answers even come near to what I am saying, though at least you did make a effort to read the posts because you did not use - giving birth, fisting, and what ever else the others came up with. None of those come backs are done on a regular bases like sex is, and I'm sure if giving birth or fisting was on a near daily basis, you would see a difference.

3rd, your example is the same as having sex with the same person every time. Of course there is no to very little change BECAUSE her body is expecting that.

Now the point for the last time (and I don't care who believes and who doesn't). What the GIRLS have said (and you guys look it up) is that after a long term relationship with a bigger dick these girls needed time to adjust back to their normal selves. I believe them- why would they lie? Maybe to make us average guys feel worse? I don't know.

What I am saying is that it is most likely a mind over matter; e.g. they have not gotten over their ex's, so when they have sex, their body responds as if they were going to have sex with the ex who was bigger. But only the girls in question know what's really going on - once again I only gave it a name.

I want to make it clear that other girls have said that in time it all goes back to what they are normally.

Lastly, not every girl goes through this otherwise we would hear more about it.

So to the OP, one more time, you and your wife will be fine.

Regards.

PS, thanks to everyone's view on this, it's been great - I think the best way to find truth is to get everyone's opinions (yes, even if it's some dubious girls posting on here and other sites - now tell them they are full of it, lol).

It's also entirely likely that the first time she tries a massive cock she might not like it and you may find yourselves actively seeking more normal sized willy's in the future and it will never become an issue

I'm just a worrier I guess. Like obviously it's a big decision, I'm just looking for reassurance that if it doesn't work out everything will be as it was. So really you're saying, based on your own experience, that even just 2 or 3 encounters with larger men spaced apart would point blank not affect how tight she feels, not even a sliver?

 

I'm just looking to put my mind at ease before jumping in!

Her pussy should be the least of your concerns. It will not change. Her mind and yours will, your relationship will. If it doesn't work out with swinging that is something you two will have to work out together.

Most women become more confident and more self-assured with swinging. I know I did. I'm a different woman today than I was 8 years ago.

I also learned a lot of new techniques and things I like, including having sex and being romantically involved with women. I have played with dozens of people and I learn something new almost every time. My swing partners change me.

There are a lot of ups and downs. Much more to worry about than the tightness of her pussy.

Overall, for us swinging has been extremely positive. I love my husband even more today than I did when we started. I love that I am his equal and we give each other freedom to have sex with other people. It's very empowering.

What funcoupledayton said!

stupidquestion, the issues of the greatest importance for you two are between the ears, not between the legs. Have you two talked about the changes that could come to your relationship as a result of embarking on this adventure together? Are you both "all in" with this idea? Have you discussed whether you each might have any feelings of jealousy seeing each other having sex with someone else? Have you got a plan for dealing with that? Have you agreed about what kind of people you might want to share a bed with? Have you agreed on rules and limits for playing?

I ask that barrage of questions not to be too in your face, but to encourage you to think about them. Swinging can be a relationship minefield, with many ways to blow things up if you're not careful. Starting from a place of love, trust, and open, honest communication is essential to a successful swinging relationship. Given the focus in this thread on a single physiological question, I'm crossing my fingers hoping that you two will have also talked over the critical relationship issues that are at play here.

Thanks for all your answers guys. I do appreciate that psychological factors are far more important than the physiological issue I'm focusing on, I'm just being thorough.

I think I'm right in saying that everyone here is in agreement - 2 or 3 encounters with a larger penis will 100% guaranteed not result in her feeling any looser to me? Like literally no doubt about it? I have to say I thought more people would actually have first hand experience of this issue!

Yes no difference...absolutely first hand experience

In our swinging "career," Mrs Alura only encountered one oversize penis. He claimed 9.5 inches, which Mrs. Alura verified.

We made love after the swinging encounter. I could sense no difference.

Yes no difference...absolutely first hand experience

Yes no difference...absolutely first hand experience

Agree, many first hand experiences.

Agree, many first hand experiences.

So conclusion - You guys really sense no difference at all? The vagina still feels just as tight as before? Not even slightly less tight?

So conclusion - You guys really sense no difference at all? The vagina still feels just as tight as before? Not even slightly less tight?

Honesty, really and truly, no not in the slightest. My wife has had a number of large penises enter her vagina. Hell, she's had an entire human person (albeit a small, new one) leave through it. The long term effect on how tight her vagina feels has been nil.

Now, in the short term... say if I enter her shortly after she's had a number of large penises fucking her for an extended period of time - yeah, I can feel a difference. What kind of a difference really depends. Sometimes, she actually feels tighter. But no, in my experience, there are no longer term ill effects. As others have said, the vagina is a remarkably resilient body part.

Honesty, really and truly, no not in the slightest. My wife has had a number of large penises enter her vagina. Hell, she's had an entire human person (albeit a small, new one) leave through it. The long term effect on how tight her vagina feels has been nil.

 

Now, in the short term... say if I enter her shortly after she's had a number of large penises fucking her for an extended period of time - yeah, I can feel a difference. What kind of a difference really depends. Sometimes, she actually feels tighter. But no, in my experience, there are no longer term ill effects. As others have said, the vagina is a remarkably resilient body part.

So say a week later, after her having sex with a large penis, noticeably bigger than yours, it's genuinely as though it never happened? She still feels tight to you, not even a sliver looser?

And this is most people's experience?

I was the "third", the "bull", the man her husband watched her having sex with. We all had a good relationship and we had about a half dozen encounters over a period of years. He was noticeably larger than me me but it didn't seem to matter to her. She seemed to enjoy herself with me every time we played. I expected her to be "loose" from constantly getting fucked by a cock as big as his but she felt firm and tight every time. I was surprised by that.