Looking for new experiences: Conservative wife

I've been with my partner for almost 10 years. She's conservative therefore our sex life has become routine. I've always thought about swinging, the topic excites me. Are there any couple out there who started off with a conservative wife? If so how did you start? Any advice would be great.

Hi curiouswh

If your wife is conservative as you say then going from what you say is routine sex life to swinging maybe a bridge too far for now. If I were you I think trying to find out what she likes in your own bed would be my 1st port of call, also talking about her and any wants / fantasies things like that.

What you're doing is creating a safe place to talk about sex and how you two can put some sparks into your sex life that both of you are happy with, once she has done this then look outside - but she may never want to, or she may turn into a sex monster lol

For us swinging is only outside entertainment not a fix for boredom in the marriage bed.

Regards

First, WELCOME to Swingersboard.

Second, have you asked her any questions about swing? If not, you might start with "how do you view people who exchange their married partners foe having sex." The answer might guide your next question.

Hello, curiouswh, and welcome to SwingersBoard!

I suppose many lifestyle couples may have had a more straight-laced sex life before entering the swinging lifestyle. But most successful lifestyle couples have a solid relationship and excellent communication. This might be an area to work on first, developing a habit of more open, honest communication between you. As a part of opening up the lines of communication, you might help her to become comfortable talking about sex. Find out what she likes, and tell her what you like. Once you are both more comfortable talking about sex, you might share some fantasies with her, and invite her to share hers. If it seems like she's comfortable talking about fantasies, you could then share your fantasy about swinging with her, and see what she thinks about it. Make it clear that it's an experience you would want to share with her, and that you would never act on unless you were both interested.

This is not something that you want to rush. It might take months of gradual opening up and achieving a good comfort level before you are able to bring up the topic of swinging.

Good luck, and let us know how it's going!

Thank you for the great replies. We are good at communicating with each other in fact we sometimes roleplay with this idea of swinging. How do I know she's ready for the real thing?

Thank you for the great replies. We are good at communicating with each other in fact we sometimes roleplay with this idea of swinging. How do I know she's ready for the real thing?

No idea, she is your wife. Ask her? "Hey baby, what if we did this for real?" Try that?

What kinky stuff do you currently do? "Swinging" encompasses a pretty broad spectrum. People generally don't just hop into bed with other partners. Usually there is kinda of a build up. Without knowing where you guys are on that path it's pretty tough for us to give a reply.

Good Luck with it.

Start by asking her about her fantasies and sharing your own. Then try role playing (which you said you are already doing). Next is to ask her if she ever thought about actually experiencing a fantasy for real. How do you know if she's ready for the real thing: ask her. If you don't feel like you can ask or feel that asking her is not a good idea, then you are not ready (and she is totally not ready). Work on increasing your love/trust/communication (never a bad idea) and if it is to happen, then it will. One thing, however, if you ask and she says no, don't try and force the issue. Let it go (at least for awhile).