Jealous before swinging

I have a question for everyone that's experienced with swinging. I posted somewhere here about vacation with our friends that are swingers and nothing happened. Well now my wife doesn't want to have sex and I think something is up. She tells me how annoyed she was with them, but I checked her messages yesterday and my wife and her female friend are like I love you and calling each other babe and what not. We've discussed it and both agreed not to swing solo and that wouldn't bother me. What does is them calling each other babe. It actually pissed me off enough I couldn't sleep. I'm not sure how to confront her.

The secret of communication is to communicate. The only way to talk to your wife is to talk to her. Tell her what you are feeling. Tell her what your concerns are. Be honest. Sounds easy, but it's actually hard work.

It wouldn't even be bothering me if we were having sex.

I'll admit, having seen your prior posts, this is an unexpected twist.

What's the tone of these messages? There's a subtle difference between "I love you." and "Love ya! [kissy emoji]"

I'll know soon enough. Swinging is fine if we're in the same room. Swinging solo is cheating on my book, unless we discuss that ahead of time.

I think you pretty much need to find out why you're not having sex. You said yourself you wouldn't be bothered if you were getting some but it seems you maybe feel your wife is picking her female friend over you , even though nothing may have happened between them?

Maybe she's just tired and you're reading too much into it maybe?

My wife is hooked on a couple at the moment , nothing has happened with us and the other couple yet, we have had one social meet with them (they were 3 hours late) and they cancelled the next planned meet a few days before it happening ( but after we had re organised our schedule and booked a babysitter I might add). I see it as them getting cold feet and I got the impression at the social that they weren't on the same page as a couple should be. So I think we are wasting our time with these guys when we could be getting flirty with a new couple but for some reason my wife is pretty hung up on them and doesn't want to cool it, I've thought about it a lot the last few days and here are the reasons I think she still has the hots for them.

1)they are safe, as in they are a no swap couple that want to just watch and be watched with the girls having a play, I think my wife sees it as a no pressure situation which is more comfortable to her as we are yet to swing

2) I think she genuinely has the hots for the other woman, my wife was straight as far as I knew but it has definitely been the girlie flirting that gets her going, she has shown no interest at all in the male half of the couple.

My wife seems completely uninterested in trying to find a new couple , it almost seems like my best option is to arrange a third meet and when they inevitably fail to turn up or cancel she might finally realise they are stringing us along for their little fantasy.

I'm not feeling jealousy about this situation , I'm not sure what it is? Annoyance definitely and maybe some disappointment in my wife for allowing them to play with our heads

Sorry I meant to add how it related to our sex life.

Well, during our time flirting with this couple our sex life went through the roof , a minimum of once a day which was a lot more than usual, we were both pretty happy with that lol, but after the disappointment of the cancelled meet it kinda dropped off a bit , not stopping completely but definitely a lot less, mostly due to me being grumpy about the whole thing lol , the fact that she still wants to give this couple another chance is creating a little bit of friction between us, nothing major , just niggles me a bit , basically she still likes to fantasise about them when we're in bed together and I find it doesn't get me horny like it used to because I can't help thinking it's a bit of a dead duck, I don't see these fantasies ever becoming reality with this couple at least so it's kinda lost the pizazz that it once had.

I'm not sure, I could be reading too much into it. My wife said she has been wanting us to have sex, but I guess I gave her the vibe that I didn't want to. Now that she explained it I see why she thought that. She's the one that brought up the conversation . Maybe she's just trying to feel more comfortable by being flirty with the other woman. I'm gonna try to be less jealous, after all I'm the one that brought up swinging in the first place. I just get pissed off with seeing the terms of endearment posts.

Sounds like you guys are working it out, maybe you can agree on a pet name your comfortable with her calling the other lady? We all have emotional triggers and maybe that's one of yours

I'm gonna try to be less jealous

See what a little talking can do? Remember this and it will help with any jealousy in the future.

Thanks everyone, I do appreciate all the advice I get here.

idk that much about this lifestyle, but sex is sex and love is love. If my husband was saying "I love you" to another woman (or man for that matter--can't see that happening at all), then our relationship would be over because I am not polyamorous, I am just interested in sex without strings attached. In fact, to me it's better to just have sex with someone once and be done with it so there is no emotional attachment developing. That's where feelings get hurt. Now, in a polyamourous situation it's a completely different story, but as for me--I can only truly love one person at a time.