FFM 3somes never realistic in porn... your experiences or fantasies?

I am very new to this board, and certainly NOT in the "lifestyle" (yet, and I doubt if I/we ever will be).... which sounds like what I read in the profile descriptions of many other newbies here.

So far, I have posted only one time, with a thread called "Hoping to find someone for her". The responses I got there were thoughtful and pretty direct - - pointing out to me if my fantasies are not, in any way, her fantasies, then the only path forward is a whole lot more communicating with her or forget it. Very good counsel.

And now, I am back here...

I feel like I can surely NOT be the only man my age (or older or younger) with a burning desire for what I would describe as a "soft FFM threesome ultraLIGHT". While it would be very intimate, it would be much closer to "making out" than "having sex". Since I first joined this board, I am pleased that my wife and I actually DID have a calm and civil conversation about the idea this week. I described how it might happen.

My story goes like this: we have a friend visit us for dinner, watch a movie or something on our very big home theater screen. Plenty of wine, consumed a little bit to excess, all three of us happy, giggly and feeling like finding our silly selves. I sit on the couch next to my wife and start kissing her... and unbutton her shirt a little,,, cast my social filter aside and start feeling her up, and then kissing/sucking/licking her nipples... not particularly paying attention to our guest, until my wife and I both turn our gaze to her... and with nothing more than our eyes and a tiny gesture/nod of our heads, beckon her over to come join us. And she does... And the story can be written in your my head, her head... it can go to the bed, to the hot tub, to the shower together... there are many possible outcomes.

The point I am trying to get to... is that I have NEVER seen anything vaguely like this in porn, and something tells me that this scenario doesn't really exist in literotica either... it just doesn't seem to exist in popular sex mythology... that a threesome, in real life, as we live today... it ALMOST SURELY going to begin with a COUPLE. A husband and wife (of forty years, in our case), but even if only unmarried partners (and presumably much younger than we are), an existing relationship of an F and an M, and the F that gets added to it is a "someone else". Maybe she is good friends with both, or a relatively new acquaintance to her or to him or to both... but she has NEVER been on their minds before approaching this totally new boundary-crossing, nor have they been on her mind - - with regard to intimate physical contact with each other.

Isn't this how a REAL LIFE threesome starts? Isn't there some persuading - - however slight - - an act of taking a dare, or closing your eyes and trying to jump into something very scary and totally new? Isn't this ALWAYS the case, or certainly if it is a first time (which, inherently it would be for us)!!??

And reading a lot of profiles here, whether it's a threesome, or a foursome, soft or full swap... it seems to be a "hasn't YET happened in my/her/our lives...

So, veterans... please chime in... and wanna-be's and newbies alike... is your reality or your imagined reality nothing like what I picture as the path to a threesome with another woman? Do I have this image all wrong? It seems like the makers of porn have it all wrong, to me... why has no one in porn seen the light and directed the plot line that is in my head (and in your head, for hundreds or thousands of you?)

Tell me your story or stories... experienced or only imagined... and help me understand what does happen, what could happen, how you picture it...

post-script: my conversation with my wife earlier this week didn't change much, as far as her views on having intimate contact with another woman. She does not fantasize about it, and does not believe that she would want it or act upon any scenario that I might try to create. Maybe I made a tiny dent in getting her to believe that this is NOT about my wanting to have sex with "the other woman" - - and if nothing else, I felt like I made some progress with the closing thought... that this is an activity that humans enjoy doing together - - and in that context - - I said that I wanted to am challenge her... AGAIN... - - can you have a more open mind about it? If nothing else, she did not find that question in appropriate, coming from me. I made the analogy of so many other ways, in which I have helped her enjoy "pushing the envelope"... with respect to foods, wines, travel, art, television, things we read and enjoy together. I have always been more adventurous than her. It doesn't mean that she is flawed, nor that I am better than her. It's just what has worked for us, in so many realms, for so many years.

I feel like I can surely NOT be the only man my age (or older or younger) with a burning desire for what I would describe as a "soft FFM threesome ultraLIGHT". While it would be very intimate, it would be much closer to "making out" than "having sex". Since I first joined this board, I am pleased that my wife and I actually DID have a calm and civil conversation about the idea this week. I described how it might happen.

FFM are AWESOME!!! Fuck Yeah!!! Love em!!! Wife does too, so having a 'civil' conversation with yours is a pretty good start.

My story goes like this: we have a friend visit us for dinner, watch a movie or something on our very big home theater screen. Plenty of wine, consumed a little bit to excess, all three of us happy, giggly and feeling like finding our silly selves. I sit on the couch next to my wife and start kissing her... and unbutton her shirt a little,,, cast my social filter aside and start feeling her up, and then kissing/sucking/licking her nipples... not particularly paying attention to our guest, until my wife and I both turn our gaze to her... and with nothing more than our eyes and a tiny gesture/nod of our heads, beckon her over to come join us. And she does... And the story can be written in your my head, her head... it can go to the bed, to the hot tub, to the shower together... there are many possible outcomes.

 

The point I am trying to get to... is that I have NEVER seen anything vaguely like this in porn, and something tells me that this scenario doesn't really exist in literotica either... it just doesn't seem to exist in popular sex mythology... that a threesome, in real life, as we live today... it ALMOST SURELY going to begin with a COUPLE. A husband and wife (of forty years, in our case), but even if only unmarried partners (and presumably much younger than we are), an existing relationship of an F and an M, and the F that gets added to it is a "someone else". Maybe she is good friends with both, or a relatively new acquaintance to her or to him or to both... but she has NEVER been on their minds before approaching this totally new boundary-crossing, nor have they been on her mind - - with regard to intimate physical contact with each other.

So, I do not think anything like that will ever happen...I mean really think about it from the 'thirds' point of view. You and your wife start getting intimate, and with a wink and nod, she is just going to jump right in? All the kinky sex I have had has required a conversation about it, with all parties involved. Hopefully they are direct enough to express their desires while you express yours. That is really the hardest part, IMHO, finding partners that will be honest and direct about expressing their desires.

Now in regards to how the FFM starts? After a lot of talking the girls take charge, either pleasuring you, or each other. From there the sky can be the limit!!

I had two girls sneak into my bed and surprise me(boy did it surprise me!). Usually there is a lot of conversation, arrangements are made and there you go!!

I have never had a threesome date!! Although I would like to,and I have expressed the desire to the wife. But honestly finding the third has been too much of a PITA!! We do have a few 'vanilla' female friends we got out with, but that's not really 'erotic', except of course in the sense that it is dinner out with the wife.

Isn't this how a REAL LIFE threesome starts? Isn't there some persuading - - however slight - - an act of taking a dare, or closing your eyes and trying to jump into something very scary and totally new? Isn't this ALWAYS the case, or certainly if it is a first time (which, inherently it would be for us)!!??

 

And reading a lot of profiles here, whether it's a threesome, or a foursome, soft or full swap... it seems to be a "hasn't YET happened in my/her/our lives...

There is a lot of conversation, and a bit of persuading. You can not sell to somebody that does not want to buy, so first make sure you are working with people that are interested to begin with.

That's pretty much a rule of life I now have.

So, veterans... please chime in... and wanna-be's and newbies alike... is your reality or your imagined reality nothing like what I picture as the path to a threesome with another woman? Do I have this image all wrong? It seems like the makers of porn have it all wrong, to me... why has no one in porn seen the light and directed the plot line that is in my head (and in your head, for hundreds or thousands of you?)

I am not really sure what the 'porn plot line is' I normally fast forward through those parts...

post-script: my conversation with my wife earlier this week didn't change much, as far as her views on having intimate contact with another woman. She does not fantasize about it, and does not believe that she would want it or act upon any scenario that I might try to create. Maybe I made a tiny dent in getting her to believe that this is NOT about my wanting to have sex with "the other woman" - - and if nothing else, I felt like I made some progress with the closing thought... that this is an activity that humans enjoy doing together - - and in that context - - I said that I wanted to am challenge her... AGAIN... - - can you have a more open mind about it? If nothing else, she did not find that question in appropriate, coming from me. I made the analogy of so many other ways, in which I have helped her enjoy "pushing the envelope"... with respect to foods, wines, travel, art, television, things we read and enjoy together. I have always been more adventurous than her. It doesn't mean that she is flawed, nor that I am better than her. It's just what has worked for us, in so many realms, for so many years.

I have a similar situation with my wife, I push the envelope and she comes along. I do not think it's a very uncommon dynamic. In this situation I was pretty sure she would enjoy lesbian sex as she was watching women masturbate and other indicators. I think it's an 'eye opening' conversation technique.

Good luck with your threesome!!

You have a lot of questions. You need more answers. I have yet to swing. I wanted MFM. We have discussed it. She's interested. We might have an MFF. I am arranging for her best friend to stay with us at a hotel. I like your story. If the chance of me sleeping with her or both is there, we will discuss it. It doesn't sound like your wife is interested. Ask her if she wants an MFM. Go from there. Good luck

Thank you both for replying. All replies to this thread are, of course, much appreciated. Looking at other items that you have posted here, kikokrome... you (two) are clearly on a different plane than my/our virgin status. And xx1448, we belong to the same confused and totally inexperienced league of lurkers / "will-we-ever-be boundary crossers" - - with different idea than mine (hers? I can't sday for suer)...

One recurrent theme that I am sensing here is that virtually every couple, indeed every individual has different boundaries. It's a wonder any one can make any sense out of getting from point A to point B!

All new input still very much welcome.

Yes porn is fake! The people in it are doing what they are instructed to do with who they are instructed to do it with. That is what they are paid to do and I would think most people know that. They also usually cater to what they think men want, because that is their main audience.

In reality though things don't tend to go as some kind of script you have in your head when it comes to lifestyle things. If you go into a situation expecting things to happen in a set way you will probably be disappointed.

For us any situation involving another woman has gone down with the women in control and setting the pace! They also almost always start out with the women getting it on and bringing the man in when and if they want to. We are doing it after all so that they can live out their full sexuality. It is way hotter to be involved with two women that actually want to be with each other then watching the ones in the porns badly acting like they are into it.

I don't really think anything would be hot about being in a ffm where one or both women were not actually attracted to other women though. Can't see it being anything, but awkward and uncomfortable for everyone involved.

I joke about how I KNOW that God is a woman...if He were a man, then the entire world would be just like it is in porno movies. If your scenario were to ever happen for real, first your wife would tell you to stop and eventually get angry for doing this with a friend there and the friend, feeling terribly awkward would probably excuse herself and leave. The reason that single bi-sexual females are called unicorns is because they are VERY rare. Finding one is HARD, finding one who is a friend of yours it REALLY HARD, and finding one that will put the friendship at risk is harder than winning Powerball (however, I'm sure it all would be easier if you won the Powerball...lol). Now, I've actually seen porn movies that used your scenario before, they're out there but you do have to look (check out the female directors or porn for couples). However, if either one of the women are not into playing with the other woman, it can really reduce the 'action' (and put a bunch of pressure on yourself since you need to keep both of them 'entertained'). If your woman isn't interested, then trying to force the issue will only lead to bad things. If one person says no, then the answer from both of you should be no. If she isn't interested now, then let it go (there's nothing saying that she may not eventually change her mind)...

Welcome. You are correct. We should start a new site. Call it Aint Swung Yet. Good luck. Keep posting.

Welcome. You are correct. We should start a new site. Call it Aint Swung Yet. Good luck. Keep posting.

This is exactly the reason I participate on this board. To give people real information, not made up stuff, and not stuff that misses all the low points or really high points.

Enjoy the exploration!!

I joke about how I KNOW that God is a woman...if He were a man, then the entire world would be just like it is in porno movies. If your scenario were to ever happen for real, first your wife would tell you to stop and eventually get angry for doing this with a friend there and the friend, feeling terribly awkward would probably excuse herself and leave. The reason that single bi-sexual females are called unicorns is because they are VERY rare. Finding one is HARD, finding one who is a friend of yours it REALLY HARD, and finding one that will put the friendship at risk is harder than winning Powerball (however, I'm sure it all would be easier if you won the Powerball...lol). Now, I've actually seen porn movies that used your scenario before, they're out there but you do have to look (check out the female directors or porn for couples). However, if either one of the women are not into playing with the other woman, it can really reduce the 'action' (and put a bunch of pressure on yourself since you need to keep both of them 'entertained'). If your woman isn't interested, then trying to force the issue will only lead to bad things. If one person says no, then the answer from both of you should be no. If she isn't interested now, then let it go (there's nothing saying that she may not eventually change her mind)...

Acknowledging and saying thanks for these latest replies.

But I do feel like contesting this statement...

>

I really do think that I have scoured all the "porn for women" and "women directed" and there is still not a wisp of anything like a film with FFM scenes where one woman is clearly part of a couple with the man and the "other" woman is someone who really does like and respect both of them, and allows herself to be swept into something. It is jus thard to grasp why the makers of erotic films (if that actually is something different than "porn") have never identified this as something men, women or couples would like to watch. It could zctually be just part of a movie that could pass the MPAA system not much more than "R". Way "less" explicit than Fifty Shades of Grey or the infamous (and dumbINO) lesbian scene in Black Swan.

I just cross my fingers and hope that patience will lead to some kind of comments from a bi-curious single female who can share a fantasy (carried out or not) or an experience she heard someone had or something to connect my wishes with some little piece of reality. I understand fully that finding something in the world or "ertoic films") does not connect my thoughts to "reality".

It underscores that I will very likely NOT find someone who wants to chat with me about any of my dreams, most likely even among the inexperienced. Why would such a woman even be here? The very labels illustrate how unlikely it is that someone will fit my fantasy notion(s). Single, straight feamle, seeking a couple. => that makes it perectly clear, this is a woman who wants to have sex with me while watches or masturbates or does something involving other parts of me. Not desirable, and I have no desire to sell that scenario. Single, bi female, seeking a couple => same problem; this is a woman who expects that my wife will "dig right in" and know what to do and want to do it. Even single bi-curious female implies that this is someone who (maybe) expects to have a more experienced woman take the lead. I guess I am seeking "Single bi-curious female who is scared to death and hoping that a wife and husband want to stumble along, the blind leading the blind together"!

Oh well!

My observation has been that every FFM threesome I've heard of in real-life was planned in advance, where MFM can evolve spontaneously.

I'm just speculating that part of this is because of differing gender roles. Finding a woman who is receptive to sharing her partner and a woman who is willing to test the waters with an existing couple is far less likely than a man who is receptive to sharing his partner and a man who is willing to test the waters with an existing couple.

Mrs. EastInWest has gotten flirtatious with women at the cocktail lounge once or twice before. This is a few drinks in. If I pushed my luck, I might be able to get them both back to the hotel. There's no guarantee about how I'd be received the following morning if it went south, though.

I just cross my fingers and hope that patience will lead to some kind of comments from a bi-curious single female who can share a fantasy (carried out or not) or an experience she heard someone had or something to connect my wishes with some little piece of reality. I understand fully that finding something in the world or "ertoic films") does not connect my thoughts to "reality".

'Might as well wait around with your thumb up your ass' that was a direct quote from my wife Kiko. Got to make things happen in this world. But that's ok, you keep waiting while my wife and I enjoy the company of bi-sexual women.

It underscores that I will very likely NOT find someone who wants to chat with me about any of my dreams, most likely even among the inexperienced. Why would such a woman even be here? The very labels illustrate how unlikely it is that someone will fit my fantasy notion(s). Single, straight feamle, seeking a couple. => that makes it perectly clear, this is a woman who wants to have sex with me while watches or masturbates or does something involving other parts of me. Not desirable, and I have no desire to sell that scenario. Single, bi female, seeking a couple => same problem; this is a woman who expects that my wife will "dig right in" and know what to do and want to do it. Even single bi-curious female implies that this is someone who (maybe) expects to have a more experienced woman take the lead. I guess I am seeking "Single bi-curious female who is scared to death and hoping that a wife and husband want to stumble along, the blind leading the blind together"!

 

Oh well!

My wife reminded me that this was exactly how our first FFM went down. I approached her, and all she wanted to do was watch. Then pretty soon she wanted to jump in!!

At this point I am not really posting this for Mysteryperson and this might seem a little rough. I think your mind is made up, and you are right it will never happen to you. You do not want to make any effort, make any changes, take any risk. You just want to have your exact fantasy land on your prick.

I am posting this for the other couple's that are willing to show a girl a great time!!

While there isn't any real 'story' involved (and we haven't actually viewed any of these), Theresome Fantasies Fulfilled (there are at least 7 of them in the series) by Pure Passion have very positive reviews by couples. Also A Hotwife Blindfolded (1&2) and Fantasies (both by New Sensations) have good reviews and maybe more of a story. We have watched DVD's by New Sensations before and we have both liked them although we haven't watched these (yet). Hopefully that's a start...

thank goodness for this thread. I was beginning to feel left out. mmm mfm and mff before I transitioned were memorable. now basically a 20cm dick with size A tits things have changed but it was nice to read all these posts. Thank you for posting. I think porn gives people ideas though so often what they see they kind of try to re create until reality comes into their lives and they find out only the beginning is like that..........

'Might as well wait around with your thumb up your ass' that was a direct quote from my wife Kiko. Got to make things happen in this world. But that's ok, you keep waiting while my wife and I enjoy the company of bi-sexual women.

 

My wife reminded me that this was exactly how our first FFM went down. I approached her, and all she wanted to do was watch. Then pretty soon she wanted to jump in!!

 

At this point I am not really posting this for Mysteryperson and this might seem a little rough. I think your mind is made up, and you are right it will never happen to you. You do not want to make any effort, make any changes, take any risk. You just want to have your exact fantasy land on your prick.

 

I am posting this for the other couple's that are willing to show a girl a great time!!

Kikonkrome,

I'm ok with them not figuring out what they want because not everyone can open their boundaries. If they've just seen some porn, which all agree is fake, then think those scenes are true. I actually dig some of the "amateur" stuff from actual swing clubs (mostly Europe) but these are fairly difficult to find online.

There's an old motor racing adage that says "racers race, all others are spectators" which I thought kind of works in this instance.

Your right I shouldn't have been tat rough, my apologies.

Wish I had more patience, sigh.

Anyhow for those that enjoy threesomes, they don't really go like you imagine them. Once they get going though, WOW, watch out.

Just for the record, people expect movies to be like real life? When has that ever been true?

Your right I shouldn't have been tat rough, my apologies.

 

Wish I had more patience, sigh.

 

Anyhow for those that enjoy threesomes, they don't really go like you imagine them. Once they get going though, WOW, watch out.

 

Just for the record, people expect movies to be like real life? When has that ever been true?

I didn't feel the need for an apology. Rough? Well, maybe a little bit, but all opinions are valid, even if they are emotion-tinged and something you might want to take back the next day. After all, what if I/we went to a party or club and encountered some similar opinions... better to hear it here where it is harmless.

There are two trains of thought on this thread, with regard to IMAGES of an FFM threesome. One is images in your head (from experiences or only in your imagination). Enough descriptions have been offered up to paint a picture of what really happens (and none of the "stories" on this swingersboard.com seem to match the commonsense advice that I am hearing here - - so that aspect of this website seems just about as fake as porn. I would still very much like to hear any REAL stories, from the perspective of a husband, a wife or "the other woman". Has no one ever experienced something like a "date" (especially in your home), where it began with just having the husband get all touch-y / explore-y with his wife (or her initiating with her husband) - - in the presence of another woman - - and with nothing more than a wink and a nod, the other woman got invited in and accepted?

Second is the "REALITY" of what does truly EXIST in the world of porn (commercial), whether movies for sale or DaneJones or other clips on porn websites... or amateur video uploads (even voyeur cans, though such a thing seems really awful if the three people are truly unaware). I have checked out the Pure Passion series called Threesome Fantasies Fulfilled (seven different "volumes" of this!) and they all seem the same - - let's forgive the fact that they all feature men and (especially) women who absolutely look like porn stars - - sexually ATHLETES, generally with incredible one-in-a-thousand bodies. That's who shows up to work for the porn films made by the companies who ultimately succeed.

Virtually all of these are "scripted" on the same ridiculous notions that surely have nothing to do with real life. For starters, the man is such a stallion that of course, it takes the mouths of both girls(women) or the pussy or ass of both of them (inherently never at the same time, duh!!!) ...just to "satisfy" him.

Because it IS all about HIM. When everyone here says that the girls generally HAVE to lead the way. Occasionally, threesome "films" begin with two girls making out, often skipped straight to one eating the other out, maybe naked from the get-go (or still in their hooker stiletto heels - - give me a break!) and never any inkling of the awkwardness of getting started, kissing, removing clothes... and in these scenes, most of the time, the guy just walks in on them, typically fully naked. And as I have ranted about already is that there is almost NEVER any indication that one girl is in the relationship with him and the other is the invitee.

If people (swingers or wanna-be swingers) enjoy what really happens in real life, how can it be that no producer of porn realizes the market of filming such a thing. It's okay if it is scripted. Just don't make the actions the unrealistic choreography of clowns.

One new arena that I have just discovered DOES offer a possible glimpse of reality. At hclips.com there really do seems to be some true non-actor people (sometimes mischievous teens!?) trying this and that and the other in real amateur settings (often with terrible or non-existent camera work). Some of my complaints listed above are still prominent in these clips. I think that is because the subjects, generally are all VERY young, and maybe the girls are doing certain things... "trying to act like" what they think a porn threesome is supposed to include. Maybe neither pf the girls is barely anything more than a girlfriend and maybe virtually a new one at that. In this context, maybe it really does happen - - one girl encourages the other to suck his dick, just as much the other girl encouraged her to do the same (or ride him or whatever).

This may be the aspect of how real swingers act that is very, very foreign to me. I can NEVER envision my wife wanting to guide MY dick into the pussy of the other woman, nor licking her pussy or my balls with me in her. Some of you full swap folks maybe really do get to that kind of exploring adventure for adventure's sake. Whoa nelly... I still cannot picture even wanting anything like that.

Is it so rare that the whole purpose of a threesome is to put the focus on your wife's enhanced pleasure(s)?

So, this is a lot of different thoughts about the two interconnected aspects of threesome images, perceptions and realities that I hope to hear more, and especially from the lurkers. It makes this board a seriously unique resource, from my perspective. I know nowhere in my "real life" where i could discuss these kinds of things with any real friend. And not all the way ready to discuss them entirely with my wife.

Threesomes can and do happen in many ways, but don't expect them to follow any sort of script! You complain about the porns being scripted, but it sounds like you would want it to happen like the script you have in your head.

The chances of things happening the way you want are not very high, because the most important part of it isn't there. Your wife is not attracted to other women. That is not going to change just, because a scenario like you explain happens.

For her to have the great pleasurable time you want her to she would have to have actually find it pleasurable to be with the other person. I know you said earlier in this thread that everyone has a little bi in them, but that is simply not true. Maybe you do, but not everybody does. It is not something you can convince someone to be.

The ones I have had have varied rather widely, normally different members of the team kinda take turns being the center of attention...I guess that's why they are such sought after experiences. Whereas with a MFM and the guys are straight well, she's the center of attention, defacto.

I will also add this, I have an ongoing fantasy about my wife and I taking a lovely little lady out to dinner, etc. and then going home and playing:blush:. Never really got that to happen.

I still don't get the porn issue? What romance movies are true to life?? I've had some fantastically romantic times, but they were nothing like the movies.

Movies in general are an art form for escaping reality, taking us away. Sometimes watching a three way happen in front of you live, can be fantastically boring.

Good luck with your search

Has no one ever experienced something like a "date" (especially in your home), where it began with just having the husband get all touch-y / explore-y with his wife (or her initiating with her husband) - - in the presence of another woman - - and with nothing more than a wink and a nod, the other woman got invited in and accepted?

No. We have not experienced this and I don't expect one to occur either.

Is it so rare that the whole purpose of a threesome is to put the focus on your wife's enhanced pleasure(s)?

As kikonkrome stated, it is easy for a MFM threesome to focus on the woman's pleasure when both men are straight. All of our MFMs have been that way. I was the center of attention.

As for our only FMF threesome, Mr. Sun was the center of attention because that is how I directed the other female. I told her this was for Mr. Sun's pleasure. Early on while Mr. Sun was in the shower, she tried to use her butterfly-sex-toy on me but that was it. Did we kiss while I was on Mr. Sun's cock and she was riding his face? Yes, but neither of us went down on each other.

In order to have a FFM, where one of the women are the center of attention, both women need to be attracted to women and each other. It isn't much fun if one woman is pretending to be bisexual for her husband and it is an actual turn off for women who truly are bisexual.

I will also add this, I have an ongoing fantasy about my wife and I taking a lovely little lady out to dinner, etc. and then going home and playing:blush:. Never really got that to happen.

 

I still don't get the porn issue? What romance movies are true to life?? I've had some fantastically romantic times, but they were nothing like the movies.

 

Movies in general are an art form for escaping reality, taking us away. Sometimes watching a three way happen in front of you live, can be fantastically boring.

 

Good luck with your search

Your unfulfilled fantasy is not much different than mine, at least in how it starts. The subsequent trajectory, once it starts... might be different in your head than it is mine, but neither of us can know for sure. What would happen would be a function of the real people, all three of them.

You still don't get the issue of the non-existent porn that shows an actual couple, and the difficulty (or not) getting out of the starting gate? And shows respect towards both the wife and the other woman? And portrays that the boundaries would NOT be very unrestricted in an initial encounter? And doesn't depict the husband as such a stud that it takes two women to meet his animals needs?

Yet, it is frequently said here, that porn can be an aid to communication between a couple that is trying to decide whether/how/when/with whom another person might become an intimate player. I have never seen any film, not even any partial scene that I would want to show my wife, with the intent of trying to see if it it could be seen as appealing... if she is open-minded enough.

There ARE real people (women) on this board who both give and receive advice on making a trial attempt at girl-on-girl play. The evolution of Mrs. Shore2Please is a very instructive story here. Never though about swinging ever before just jumping in the deep end on a cruise. And sounds like... not very likely to ever be really attracted to another woman. Despite that, advice is given to comparing first attempts at oral sex with (on) another woman to first attempts at oral sex with (on) a man. Several players here have made mention of "made you gag" first time around. So, I think being open-minded can lead to... well, I don't know where.

For now, what I read here seems more promising than any porn, though I still wish I could simply have my wife... "just sit down here, and watch this"...

I wonder if it would have been any different when we were just past our twentieth anniversary... instead of just past our fortieth.

I have been urging my wife to have an ffm. Not with me. With our friends. We are new to swinging, introduced or seduced by our close friends. It is my wife's closest friend. They are way more experienced and have been swingers since they met. My wife was aware of our friends lifestyle longer than I have. Being with our friend sexually was a wow for me. I have accepted my wife doing what I did, have sex. I know she was nervous how I would react watching. I found this out after. So now I suggested, with her hints, that she have an ffm with them. I am not nervous. They are our closest friends. In my head there are porn scenes. I know she will have sex with him but in my head I see only the girls having fun. She keeps asking me if I am sure I am good with it. I assure her. I laugh and say I expect my fun in the future.

As per stories about our personal experiences, Red and I have never had a "traditional planned" FMF threesome due to playing at house parties, more like "pop-up" or "ad-hoc" threesome experiences. More like Red watching me and the lady play but not much contact between the two ladies.

Though one time Red did hold my cock for the other woman to gobble down on while Red and I kissed- maybe a "porn video" type move but not even imagined by me beforehand!

We just had a planned FFM 3some. It was agreed that my wife would have a 3some with our friends and we would in turn have the wife join us. They are the couple that introduced us to swinging. hey are also our best friends. The two wives are best friends for as long as I can remember. We agreed that my wife would spend a night with them. She did. Now the wife spent the night with us. All sorts of porn scenes were in my head. To be honest, I am not a porn star. I can go pretty well and a few times on a good night. The first time I had sex with our friend, it was a very exciting experience. .I was having sex with our friend and my wife gave the okay. Of course my wife had sex with the husband. I was not that excited watching that happen. We agreed to the 3somes. My wife came home after hers saying it was fun, but not that much different than when I was there. Now it was my turn. First having a shower with 3 people is tough in a city apartment shower. It did get us nude, clean and in the mood. Dropping the soap was fun. I admit getting cleaned by 2 women was exciting....booiing. What went through my head is I better show my wife attention too. I prodded them to get started together. My wife, who was hesitant the first time doing much with her friend looked more comfortable. Their playing had a porn feel and I was a voyeur. I know my wife came, I could tell. That's when I got the call to join by our friend. She made sure I was very ready for her to get on top of me. I needed to deep breathe to hold back. My wie started as just a watcher but then I hate to call it ruining the moment but she got involved. I wanted her to but I didn't at that moment. She straddled my face. I would have rather she just let me finish first. My movement and my visuals were restricted. Yeah, we had a threesome, more went on before the night was open. I am not sure why it wasn't as hot as I expected.

Our first threesome turned out to be a train wreck that shouldn't be in a porn. We were at the hospital visiting my mom after surgery and since the wife is always on facebook she posted where we were and one of her friends worked in the area and said they should hang out. So we go out wife drinks to much friend keeps talking about how she can't find a guy and every time i say a dumb joke her friend punches me. Now after a few punches I tell my wife I think your friend likes me. Wife says i'm being stupid but at this point wife is drunk.

Now were back at our house and my wife say come sit next to her cause my wife wants to get under the blanket on the love seat. Me and her are on the couch and my wife is falling asleep on the love seat. Few minutes go by and the wife gets up and goes to bed, so me and her just look at each other like O.K. She ask if she can get the blanket and i say yeah not thinking anything, and when she sits back down she sits down like right next to me. I swear i put my hand on her knee on accident just adjusting in place, i move my hand and she says "you don't have too" So i put my hand back and then she grabs my penis through my blue jeans. She's grabbing it so i start touching her. My wife opens the door and comes in and grabs her cell phone with out looking at us and I feel her friend Jump. So at this point I stop I tell myself your cheating on your wife just stop. So i get up and say I have to run to the store although its 1 a.m. I leave the house hoping when i get back the friend is gone. Got back friend is still there "shit" so i walk in and she's not on the sofa, I open the bed room door and she's laying on the bed naked and spread eagle and my wife has her head between her legs. Off comes my clothes and I have my first threesome.

Next day started Great! I am happy telling all my friends getting high fives etc. Then my wife calls, telling me how dare you let me do that when i am drunk, thats why i didn't want to hang out with her, are you talking to her behind my back. It went from greatest thing in the world to a complete nightmare in less than 8 hours. However since then we have several threesomes under our belt. The first one was a complete nightmare.

We appreciate it. Us yet to swingers. Ha.

Did a fair number of threesomes (how many is a lot?) in my mispent youth. I had no huge expectations for the first or second & by the third was figuring out the pitfalls and how to avoid the awkward moments. It helped I was doing this with some experienced partners, & it helped that I was not just doing threesomes but other 'swinger' fun games. With experience you learn to avoid drunks, drinking, & drugs, dodge the cheating spouses (or accept the risks & drama), & other wise do the communication that make any sexual encounter or any social event so smoothly.

There is a connection to porn in that sometimes a threesome will start by watching some porn and some one says 'hey lets try that'.