Is it okay to still fantasize about threesomes?

My wife and I are not swingers. We are happy and have been together for about 10 years. Prior to meeting her I had participated (single male) in a couple of mfm threesomes and they were great experiences.

 

In the past couple of years I've brought up the idea of us inviting another man into our bedroom. She indicated that she isn't interested but if I wanted to have a threesome to go ahead. I've told her I do want a threesome but only with her as that is what turns me on. That's where I left it.

 

When we have sex 50% of the time we talk about an mfm fantasy. It's not difficult to tell that the scenario turns her on big time so I know that at least she likes it in fantasy form. She questioned when I brought it up previously how would I feel about seeing another man have sex with her? I told her that's the point and it would turn me on but she questioned my response.

 

If we don't experience an mfm I'm fine with it, it's not worth the happiness of my marriage. But is it okay to still fantasize about it without concerns that she thinks I'm "working" her? That's not the case, it's just fun to at least imagine.

from Oklahoma, Nomadichulk! My late wife and I started by reading stories in Penthouse Letters in bed. (There are many in the "stories" section on this board, too.) Then came experimentation. I hope you and your wife find y'all's niche! In not, enjoy the learning process!

First, WELCOME to Swingersboard.

 

Next, how frequently do you bring this subject up? And do you bring it up in situations and venues other than bedroom play? Bring it up too frequently and it becomes pestering. After a few "I'm not interested" replies, best to leave it alone altogether. Maybe some day she will raise the subject; and maybe even at the dinner table or while watching TV.

 

Yes, fantasy is OK.

Welcome! If it's a fantasy that you both enjoy, no reason at all to stop it. The fantasy may always be enough for her, or eventually she may want to take it further. You've indicated to her that you would be more than ok with that, so at this point, the seed has been planted so I'd just let it do what it is going to do on its own. If the fantasy talk during sex serves to water and fertilize that seed to where it does grow into something then so be it, but that's not the main reason you are doing the fantasy talk, so no reason to stop it.

Mine ex never would either. Looking for one that will now. Done with the ex thankfully after 15 years

Thank you all for the feedback. We will see where life takes us, it's always an adventure .