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Naturalred

Single female in Windsor, Ont. curious about swinging

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As with most people on this site, this lifestyle has very much intrigued me and I thought I'd finally wet my feet and get acquainted. I am a single 38 yr old woman who is interested in exploring mostly with men at this time. Any suggestions on how to begin this journey? Are there any private parties in my area that I could attend to meet like minded people? Any information would be greatly appreciated! Good luck to all and if anyone would like to chat I'd love to make new friends!

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Join a swing website such as SLS. You can meet singles or couples.

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:welcome1: to Swingersboard.

 

As njbm has said, the SwingLifeStyle Web site is a good start. Not much to risk as your can join without paying a membership fee. Although some of the sites features are not available to non-paid members, this is far less a detriment to a single woman than to others. But be forewarned. We have been told by the single women that my wife and I have in our social group that a lot of foolishness goes on and being a single female members will make you a target. You simply need to learn to put up with it. There _are_ good men to be found there.

 

Although most are by invitation only, some party groups have pages there. I would recommend, however, that your best advantage in joining will be to search for meet-n-greet events. This path is particularly safe for a single woman. Swingers' clubs are also listed at a Web site like SLS. But that opens an entirely new subject -- on which there is a lot of information to seen at Swingersboard.

 

The Ontario members here will almost certainly be able to recommend swingers' site that are more active in the Province than SLS.

 

~Michael

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Hi, Naturalred, and welcome to SwingersBoard! Glad you joined us. You'll find lots of good information here, as well as many friendly, knowledgeable, and helpful people to talk to about swinging, answer your questions, and discuss your concerns.

 

Before you meet other swingers, you may want to think about (and you may already have done this) is what you are looking for out of the lifestyle. Are you looking for simple recreational sex with people who you want to consider friends? Are you more interested in more-or-less anonymous hookups, and not lasting friendships? Are you looking for a longer-term relationship? Also, do you want to meet exclusively men? Would you like to meet couples as well? Are you OK with meeting married men who are playing alone (make sure his wife is OK with this!!)? In addition, it might be worth arriving at an initial position about your willingness to explore sex with women. Do you want others to to consider you straight as an arrow? Bi-curious? Bi-flexible? Finally, do you have any must-haves and, just as importantly, hard limits in the kind of sexual activities you want? For example, is intercourse a must-have, or is it beyond your limits at this point? You may consider keeping an open mind about limits, as swinging is a great way to broaden your sexual horizons, but just know that no one should force you to go beyond your limits! That kind of thing is considered a big breach of trust, and highly disrespectful.

 

njbm gave you some good advice about joining a swinger "match-making" Web site like swinglifestyle.com (SLS), altplayground.net (APG),or Kasidie.com. Sometimes those Web sites are more popular in some regions than others- I'm sorry to say that I don't know which sites are more popular in your area. SLS might be a good first choice, as they allow free memberships (with some features disabled and limits on daily messages). Anyway, you could set yourself up with an interesting profile that will tell people a little about you, and given all that thinking you did earlier, what you're looking for. And if you include a picture or two, you will generally get a lot more people reading your profile!

 

Once you're on one or more of those sites, you will hopefully find out about groups in your area that have meet and greets or parties (SLS has a lot of groups!). My advice for someone new is to attend a meet and greet to start out. You should be able to find out about local M&G events, which will be held at a public, "vanilla" venue like a bar or winery, through SLS. There, you will be able to meet up with local swingers, get to know some friendly people, and discuss the lifestyle with experienced, like-minded folks. And, unlike a club or private party setting, there will not be the aspect of moving on to having sex right there at the meet and greet. This will also be a chance to ask your new friends about any local parties, or find out about the lifestyle clubs in your area.

 

Good luck, and let us know how you're doing! Also, feel free to post your other questions, issues, concerns, fantasies, fears, turn-ons, etc. we'd love to keep the conversation going!

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As with most people on this site, this lifestyle has very much intrigued me and I thought I'd finally wet my feet and get acquainted. I am a single 38 yr old woman who is interested in exploring mostly with men at this time. Any suggestions on how to begin this journey? Are there any private parties in my area that I could attend to meet like minded people? Any information would be greatly appreciated! Good luck to all and if anyone would like to chat I'd love to make new friends!

 

Welcome from Oklahoma, Naturalred! Thanks for posting a great question.

 

Other than on-line advertising and swing clubs, I'd suggest that you put yourself into situations where you might meet open-minded people. When you meet someone who seems open to the idea, ask "How do you feel about swinging?" It's usually a good idea to restrict this question to people you are not likely to see again without effort. For instance, I would not ask the question of a co-worker. :)

 

I'm not sure if you'd like to meet couples for FMF threesomes or to hook up with a single man to play as a couple. Careful with the latter, it could result in marriage. :)

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You may not realize it yet, but you are totally in the drivers seat on this. Single females are semi-jokingly known as "unicorns" in the lifestyle because they are so rare to almost be mythical. That's a bit of an overstatement of course, but it's true, a single female is hard to find.

 

Since you are mostly interested in men, then the bi-female aspect isn't really there, but I don't think you'll find many compatible couples turning down a chance for a FMF just because there wouldn't be any direct girl-girl play. FMF threesomes aren't that easy to set up. You can find guys for a MFM all day long, but a single female who gets what swinging is about, that's a harder task.

 

So, since you are in the drivers seat, then make the most of it. You can afford to be very choosy about your playmates, and that will help a bunch on having a successful first experience instead of trying to force something that you're not entirely sure will work. One should always choose their playmates carefully of course, but sometimes when couples are new and wanting to get the ice broke, and there aren't a ton of options, and just by the numbers 4-way compatibility is harder to find than 3-way compatibility, then taking a chance and hoping for the best sometimes comes into play and often doesn't turn out that well.

 

I agree that a meet and greet would be a good place to start. To find them, you'll probably want to sign up on the online sites, but finding a stable, well-managed group will give you an outlet to safely explore this idea further by meeting some swingers in person.

 

Good luck!

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