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Just curious about swinging with friends

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Just joined but have read some threads before joining and looking for some feedback. We have put basics in the intro section. We are 40, married right out of college and have two children. We have a great social life and an even better home life. Because this is a sexual board, we are happy to say our home sex life is extremely good and over the years we have privately tried many sexual things. From what we read and hear, we have a very active sex life compared to the average couple. No complaints.

 

What brings us here?

 

Hope not to bore anyone. We have a group friends we have know for many years. Nothing sexual, just over the years we have joked about sex. I don't believe anyone in the group has ever hooked up. I think all the couples are monogamous, but who really knows. Well I guess we didn't. We have a friend, who my wife has know since being kids. Went to college together and could be considered almost sisters. I know they talk every day and I could only guess what they talk about. My wife was maid of honor at her wedding. Was there for her when she was getting divorced and we were there through her dating and marrying her new husband. We have vacationed with her with both husbands. My wife is privy to all the stuff that went on and even knew when her friend had sex the first time with her new husband. I wonder what else they talk about. The new husband has been taken into our group of friends and sadly we don't see much of the first husband.

 

Now we find out the new husband was into this before they were married. I am still fuzzy if and when our friend found this out. Now she has confided in my wife that she has joined in at a party with old friends of his. Of course my wife couldn't wait to tell me. Neither of us saw this coming. Like I said my wife knows her pretty well and we never ever gave that a thought. Ok, I did. I have seen her in her bikini and thoughts are thoughts. Then we went out with them for dinner and all I could think of was what they did and what it was like.

 

At dinner, the subject came up. I don't know how I reacted but wife turned the color of the lobster. I didn't know how to react. Had a million questions but I kept quiet. My wife asked a few. To be honest it was a little uncomfortable. I was wondering if they were asking us to join. Probably. Wondered what what wife was thinking. I didn't know how to react. I think they were waiting for us to say something. We went home that night and the conversation was interesting to say the least. Next day the wives spoke and I know it came up. We don't know if we would. My wife asks me which leads be to believe she might. So we are on here just thinking.

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Hi and welcome!

 

Thanks for sharing this and there is not much I can advice besides to reconsider if your friends are a good way to enter this adventure. It may go well and it will make your friendship so much deeper. But it can also go wrong and then you have not only lost play partners but also friends. Because you two are new to all this, the chance for things to go wrong are a bit higher I presume. Plus emotions can come into play here, emotions you already have build up by being friends.

 

Take care and evaluate the pros and cons of this and decide together if it is worth the risk.

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I agree with MrDiscover. If you two were ever interested, consider how it might impact the friendship you have with the other couple. Is this something you two would do with them if there is a risk of destroying the friendship?

 

Also, I had a sense that the level of communication between you and your wife needs some improvement before delving further. There was a lot of "I don't know what they talk about," or, "I wonder what they talk about," where it concerned your wife and her friend. If there are things you and your wife have a hard time talking about together, it's best to work on being more open and honest with each other...two qualities necessary to be a strong couple navigating life and swinging.

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I agree with Sunbuckus, but I don't see anything weird in a spouse having a friend where he/she can share these things with, even things you won't discuss with your spouse. Sometimes it can be easier to discuss things with someone a tiny bit further away from you.

 

For example, I have an health issue MsDiscovers worries about from time to time and she discusses that with her best friend, for extra insight, different perspective, different background or to prevent leaning too much on me. Which is ok with me.

 

Or in this case maybe embarrassment, I think both women perfectly sensed your embarrassment (or it was a very pale lobster). Maybe she just want to discuss it without you feeling that way, because she loves you. It does not sound like hiding, for she couldn't wait to tell you the first time. :-)

 

But on a larger scale I agree that communication is key in this.

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First rule for successful swinging... communicate, communicate, communicate... or as a man said to me at a swingers club once: If I can watch my wife suck another mans cock, it means I can talk to her about anything. (Yes, we were, in fact, doing just that at the time.)

 

So, first and foremost, you need to comfortable being completely open and honest with your wife... about everything. And I'm not just talking about sex. You need to be willing to share your hopes and fears, your worries about work and money, about car repairs and that weird zit on your ass. Most importantly, you need to be able to be honest with yourself. Being able to tell your wife how you really feel means knowing what you really feel and being willing to express it. When you know what you really feel, and can honestly tell her about it, you will be able to know if - for instance - you are comfortable watching her suck another mans cock.

 

As for swinging with friends... well, that seems to be a taboo among many of my fellow swingers board members but one I don't share. I do think, however, that swinging with friends needs almost the same openness and honesty as your share with your spouse. Maybe not to the "zit on your ass" point, but you need to comfortable talking about openly and honestly about sex and a sexual relationship with these people. It's easy to get caught up in the excitement and lust of it all, but you need to be able to set that aside for a moment and just talk honestly. How do you feel? How do they feel? What's ok and what's not? As with talking to your spouse, you need to be able know what you really feel and be able to share it... and you need to trust that your friends are able to do the same thing, with themselves, with each other and with you. It's not easy and yeah, it does come with some risk... human emotions and relationships are involved after all. That doesn't mean it's impossible but it's not necessarily easy.

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Lionheart just started a new thread about this very topic: The Friendship Taboo. Also a search will find lots of information about this as it has come up as a topic more than a few times. We are some of those who recommend that you stay away from swinging with friends as the risk/reward is (IOHO) just too high. Instead, we went out and found some new friends who were already swingers. This has worked well for us, but every case is different. We wish you luck with whatever you decide.

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I know the old saying that you don't poop where you eat. Friends should stay friends and not to complicate things with sex. Does sex always complicate things? Someone mentioned that we have to have open communication on a marriage. We are open. Do I know what her conversations with her best friend are? Do I really have to know? I am sure they are just like my conversations with my buddies. No exactly. I don't discuss my monthly cramps or the pretty little top at the store, but I don't tell my wife about the talk I had about the Mets or some kidding around sexual stories. Maybe back in the day she told her best friend that she met a guy who had the biggest dick and kept going and made her cum a half dozen times, but that was probably before she met me..lol. I know I have bragged to my friends when I was younger. I don't think either of us are relating sexual stories any more. But here is a sexual conversation the wives were having and my wife shared it with me. And there was the conversation the first time the friend had sex after her divorce. I was happy for her, even though I had volunteered my services. Who knew she would be interested years later?

My wife and I are open and we talk. We have talked about this. That's why I am, we are researching the what ifs.

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The 'ifs' are pretty straight forward. It could be a bonding experience that makes you closer for life. Or it could go the way mine went and my wife lost her best friend over it. If you go forward, please watch carefully for signs that could cause problems. My wife's friend decided that we should play alone some. Being a powerless man with the stronger of 2 brains being the one in my pants, I didn't resist when I should have. My wife didn't see our playing alone as okie dokie.

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We are finding some answers and asking more. We are talking and that seems to be the consensus here. Communication. I don't think we are any closer to testing the waters yet. It is still talk. This is a very very close friend and is the wifes best friend for many years. I know they confide in each other. We found out that swinging was not something that was confided. My wife spent the day with her friend while I watched football. Go Big Blue! I knew that their convo would turn to this topic. My wife is not one to shy away from sex talk and both of us have been like holy shit, can you believe this. We have been having fun talking about our friends. This is very new to us. I got the report last night. My wife couldn't wait to share. Our friends have been doing this for years. After her divorce, we knew every date she went on. We knew every guy she slept with. She told my wife some wacked out details back then. What she never shared was this part. I totally remember that when she met husband 2, she would tell my wife that he was a sex machine. We thought it was an exaggeration because the last years of first marriage was without any sex. Now she tells my wife that after the first month he told her that he used to swing and he wanted to bring a friend (woman) to join them. My wife wasn't good at getting details I would have asked. Then he asked if a guy friend could join on another occasion. Again, no details. Over the years they have kept this a secret from us. From what we can gather, our friends have been swingers for all these years. She even told my wife that she would be surprised if she came to a party. She would tell her if we knew anyone.

Now the question we joke about, again, would we, could we? We are talking openly. We are considering the risk of losing friends if we did. That's what so many posts are suggesting, not with friends.

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First of all, there's no rush, no schedule to keep, no goal to arrive at...take your time. You've already caught on to the other big thing, communication. Finally, the big question will always be are you willing to take the risk of what could happen if you did swing with your friends...and it's much more than just loosing them as friends. If you feel the risk is worth the reward, then move forward, if not, find another couple to play with.

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If you are brand new to swinging I'd recommend trying it out with someone else first. If that goes well and you both can handle it then maybe consider the friends.

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Isn't this board great? You are getting a chance to write to people you don't know and letting them know your deepest thoughts. You can say and ask things on here you may never say or ask to even your closest friend. If you don't like an answer you can disregard it. If you like what someone says you will look forward to more answers from that person. This board is discreet and free.

 

You can look at swinging with the same outlook. You can test the field even meet a couple, and if it is not what you want, don't do it. Not everyone is cut out for swinging. Even those who think they are ready find that they aren't and can't go all the way through with it. If you back down with a stranger, your life will go on. Nobody is hurt and you have learned more about yourself. How you approach swinging and the reason you would try is different for each couple. You say you never thought about swinging before. What has changed? Your friends did it so know you are interested. It is different than your friends trying a new type of food and now you try it. Like it or not, swinging involves your mind and your what you think is moral. You have to live with your choices, not with what others might think. You should think out not only what you want but how you would react. Some men can't watch their spouse be intimate with anyone else, others thrive on it. Same for women. Some think they can have sex and then regret it. Just read these boards.

 

As far as friends or strangers, I can only say from our short history what we do. We enjoy meeting new people. Their is an excitement, for us, with new partners. On the hand, I can see where you would want to start with your friends. You know them and you seem to have an attraction to them. I know we have friends that we are attracted to and would want to share with but are afraid for many of the reasons others have written. We also wouldn't know how to broach the subject. Here your friends already broke the ice. You know they are in the life style. As others said, you don't need to rush. Ask yourself, can you watch and share your wife. Ask your wife what she would really really think about you and her friend. Does she think she can have sex with him knowing you are there?

 

Think it out and ask questions here

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Great post!!:welldone:

 

You are getting a chance to write to people you don't know and letting them know your deepest thoughts. You can say and ask things on here you may never say or ask to even your closest friend. If you don't like an answer you can disregard it. If you like what someone says you will look forward to more answers from that person. This board is discreet and free.

 

A lot of times the ones we don't like are the ones we should listen to the most. You know emotionally withdrawing from the right direction?

 

Anyhow great post!

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I think we are getting good answers from all. We read them all and it isn't one we like or don't like. We came with questions looking for ideas and thoughts from as you wrote, people we don't know. I don't think we are closer to making a choice than we were after finding out and looking into this. We are not joining a site looking or posting on craigslist or angieslist for that matter. I don't think we are looking for a couple we don't know to have sex with. Our friend sort of told my wife that we may know someone that they have been with. It has been fun for us trying to guess who it could be. Some of her friends are hot and we have joked about maybe it's this one or that one and believe me my wife has given me the take on our male friends. We are a fun group of friends. We know how to have a good time. We joke about sex in a fun way. Boobs, butts and dicks have always been joked about. We even kid about what now seems to be real. I asked my wife if there was ever a stranger she saw and wondered what it would be like to have a night with him. She blurted out Adam Levine, no hesitation. I said to be honest, a fantasy? She said she has. Honest. I have thought about it, and no not Adam Levine. I know we have joked about some of both my friends and her friends in the past but it was just joking. We now know that this couple would be up for it. We truly love them as friends. Good looking, clean ( we hope), and so much fun to go out with. I think IF we ever did this we think they would be the ones. IF is a very big IF still.

 

My wife wants to ask her questions and she has sooooo many questions. Is that to much to ask her friends that many personal questions and do you think that it is leading them on to thinking we will do this?

 

Thanks for reading.

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First off, we are very much like you: we don't want to have sex with a couple we don't know either. That's why we find couples that we want to get to know and see where it leads. Second, have your wife ask her questions...to us or to your friends. Just have her be up front about how she is very curious, it doesn't mean that she is looking for it to lead to anything else. I'm sure that your friends would understand someone they know being curious and would most likely be happy to answer her. If you ultimately decide to take further actions with your friends, that's up to you. You know more about the situation than we do, and hopefully because of your question you will be more aware of the potential risks vs. rewards. Things may work out wonderfully for you (we hope they do) but at least you are trying to find answers before you rush out and do anything (always a good thing). You are here to find answers, we're glad that you are finding them.

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We are, or should I say I am having fun with this whole idea. My wife is the one that has to deal with the idea that her friend, our friends, are into this and may want us to join them. I say may but I am sure they want us to. She is the one who talks every day to her friend. She says her conversations are not about this every day. I say her friend wants me, a joke. The fun right now is the sex talk. We have always talked sex but the possibility of this is fun to talk about. I asked my wife what her friend looks like nude, she says the same as dressed. Sure! We both know she is attractive and so is my wife. She asked me about him. Yes we have been in the locker room together but I never measured him and now I keep getting this in my head. I have read on her about performance problems, luckily not a problem I normally have with my wife, but I haven't been with anyone else in so many years and certainly not in front of a friends and her husband. Or will I get too excited? Am I having premature nervousness. Am I talking myself into problems before we even decide whether we are ever going to do this?

 

Again reading the forum, I never understood why people think the most intimate act is screwing. We both think oral is more intimate. I kid my cum slut, meant in a loving way, she doesn't flinch if I cum during oral. How would she handle that situation with a friend? And what about oral with her girlfriend. My wife has never done that. I want her to ask her friend about that part. I don't think I would have a problem going down on her. My new, and old fantasy. Also, do they use condoms? I hate them but they have played around. I know we are safe. So many questions and luckily plenty of time.

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If you're still enjoying the fantasy part of the possibility of getting it on with your friends, you don't need to go all or nothing. Flirt! Play! Enjoy the eroticism of the fantasy! No doubt it has fired up your sex life with one another. I wouldn't be shy about asking questions, and you can just let your friends know that you do have some concerns about asking them all these things, because you don't want them to get the wrong impression. You're just really, really curious about how this all works. Get their feedback about condoms, oral sex and intimacy, and how they deal with it.

 

The thing is, if you do get involved with them, you can try doing some soft playing around, just to test the waters. Just try breaching that personal space barrier with one another, and see how that feels. Sit next to one another's partner at the restaurant. Let her sit on his knee, or her on yours. Anybody got a hot tub? Nothing like nekkid hot-tubbing to break the ice. Are you guys okay with making out with one another? Some light hands-on exploration of one another's bodies (clothes on or off, your choice)? This is like the grown-up version of The Closet, Spin-the-Bottle, or Truth or Dare. Remember how much fun that was? If they're experienced swingers, they'll know you're new to all this, and need to go very slowly.

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I may not have answers, but I do have questions you should be asking. You already said you are best of friends with the couple and you enjoy being with them socially. This takes the edge off of meeting strangers and the possibility that you don't click. You and your wife, I think, are curious at the least. That is why you are on here and your wife and you are discussing. You both have questions and are talking about it. You are not repelled by the thought. The friend dynamic adds a whole twist to doing this. Having sex with someone outside your marriage is one thing, with friends is so much more on the plate. No turning back. We never discussed swinging. It was almost a spontaneous thing and it was with strangers. But so much should have been thought out. Your first thoughts should be can we do this, stranger or friend. Making that first decision is crucial. We had our first in separate rooms and sex. For me it was best, looking back. I had sex and sex. I didn't think about anything else. I put out of my head that my husband was doing the same with a stranger. The next morning I walked into our room and here was this attractive woman in bed with MY husband. I almost forgot that I was that woman in the other room. I am not sure if I was ready to see that. My husband was ready to watch me. Later that day he watched and enjoyed. I was not as ready to watch him. Our new friends were ready for woman-woman oral sex. I wasn't ready but went along with it to a degree. Looking back, it turned out fine. We have grown. Ask her how she would react to watching you with her best friend. Would she be able to do things in front of you? What happens if her friend did things to her?

 

My husband and I are what I consider kinky, others might laugh at that. With a stranger I was able to be me, not sure if I could be with a great friend.

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By the way, the fact that they brought it up with you would suggest to me that they're entertaining the idea of getting involved with you. They're picking up on the chemistry that you have with one another. You're pinging their playdar. :) If they brought it up, they're feeling you out to see where you stand.

 

I agree with others: if you don't think you could go into this with an experimental mindset, where you agreed that you just want to try it to see if you liked it, to see what would happen, and you mutually agree to forgive one another for any hurts you may cause one another (because neither of you know how it will feel, and can't know if it will hurt or not...but you both know for CERTAIN that neither of you wishes any harm to one another), then you should avoid playing at all.

 

Playing with friends is a strange gray area. Some people swear by it, others say it's the kiss of death. I think only you two will know which is true for you. So far, Mr. intuition and I have avoided playing with close friends, but I think that's more a matter of circumstance: none of our friends are quite open-minded enough that we'd trust telling them about our lifestyle, or if we are, we have no chemistry with them. If we found a couple, or a few couples, with whom we could really connect and have a great relationship that fits into the vanilla world as well, we'd love that. We just haven't found any yet.

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They do want us. During a day with her friend it came out that they would like us to have an evening with them. So there aren't any doubts about them wanting us.

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We are talking. To be honest the thought of being with our friend is getting me excited. My wife has to be sure. I ask could you do this or that. Would you do this or that. I know we are talking so that's something.

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I think that's great that this has prompted so much communication between you. It's one of the biggest benefits to swinging, the improvement in a couple's communication with one another. I think it's also a good idea to let your friends know your concerns, and maybe ask them how they feel about that. Do they think it could damage your friendship in any way?

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I didn't even read the first post. I'm just going to make a comment from the thread title. I wish my friends would swing. Stuffy people I tell ya lol. I'm the only swinger I know hahaha

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I think that's great that this has prompted so much communication between you. It's one of the biggest benefits to swinging, the improvement in a couple's communication with one another. I think it's also a good idea to let your friends know your concerns, and maybe ask them how they feel about that. Do they think it could damage your friendship in any way?

I would think the don't think it would damage our friendship, they are the ones who initiated the conversation. We are very close with them. Almost would say they are our closest friends. I am surprised we didn't pick up on their lifestyle before. My wife and I have had fun discussing the possibilities, well I know I have. She has even asked about giving oral to a woman. I laughed and asked who taught her to give blow jobs. You just do what comes natural. Wow talking to my wife about her going down on her best friend. Just the thought gets me going. So here we are talking and just a short time ago this wasn't a thought.

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A few thoughts.

 

First, most of us have four groups of people in our lives. Family, neighbors,co-workers...and then the folks we choose to spend time with. Among the latter are those we call true friends. Those in the LS will tell you that there is some probability that an LS couple you encounter might become true friends. There's a risk, of course, because expectations of friends are different than expectations of playmates.

 

Second, the reverse is true. It's worth reflecting on how the friendship will evolve if the sex turns out to be fun...and also what it would mean if the sex among you turns out to be less than fun. A great deal depends on the depth of your friendship and how it is likely to withstand some emotional buffeting. Frolic among friends is different than "no-strings-attached". Who brings up the idea is beside the point. What might affect your friendship is how each of the four feel about the experience afterwards.

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I think the relationship with friends should be treated the same way as the relationship between spouses: is it flexible and forgiving enough to try this out as an experiment, and then bury it if it doesn't pan out? Can you agree to go back to the way you were, and just say, "Let's agree to forget that happened, and just never mention it again, hm?"

 

Frankly, I'm all for a friendship that could include sex! I would love that. It just hasn't happened yet, because our standards for friendship - the kind of friendship that would work with this kind of dynamic - are ridiculously high.

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I think this has let us talk more about sex than we have in some time. We have plenty but can't say we have sex talk. And now knowing she is talking sex with our friend and then sharing their talk is great. She, and I , wanted to know how her friend got into playing. After her divorce she would tell my wife if and what she did on her dates. I would be privy to some of the stories but I am sure my wife knew more. I remember questioning her choices but she said she hadn't had sex for over a year during her divorce. I remember jokingly offering my services. Little did I know. We knew the first time she had sex with her new husband. What she never shared was the 3somes and more she was doing. My wife asked her, now, how did that first time go. She admitted she wasn't sure about it. It was hard to do. It was someone he knew and she wondered if she was being used and being this was a new boyfriend if this was just a sex plan. She admitted it was hard to separate sex from a relationship. And it was always with people he knew. She wanted to ask us but she was afraid to ask anyone she knew. But now she has asked. That's where we are. Me drooling with anticipation. My wife talking about it.

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I agree with what many others have said, be careful. The excitement of being with someone you know is tempting, but for us the excitement of strangers is more exciting. We look to get away as far as possible, not to bump into friends. I have asked Mike if he ever wanted to do this with friends and he said he would want to be with a couple of our vanilla friends. I knew before I asked which ones he would want, we have some good looking vanilla friends. I know you are the male half and sometimes you aren't thinking with the big brain. You should stop asking her questions and ask your self questions. Can you watch your wife do things. It might sound exciting to you. I have seen men get upset too. You keep writing about your wife be hesitant and asking questions, don't you have questions on how you will handle it. I realize you have a new fantasy of sexually having your wife's best friend, are you ready to see your wife being sexually satisfied by your friend? Are you ready to watch?

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TricianMike said:
I agree with what many others have said, be careful. The excitement of being with someone you know is tempting, but for us the excitement of strangers is more exciting. We look to get away as far as possible, not to bump into friends. I have asked Mike if he ever wanted to do this with friends and he said he would want to be with a couple of our vanilla friends. I knew before I asked which ones he would want, we have some good looking vanilla friends. I know you are the male half and sometimes you aren't thinking with the big brain. You should stop asking her questions and ask your self questions. Can you watch your wife do things. It might sound exciting to you. I have seen men get upset too. You keep writing about your wife be hesitant and asking questions, don't you have questions on how you will handle it. I realize you have a new fantasy of sexually having your wife's best friend, are you ready to see your wife being sexually satisfied by your friend? Are you ready to watch?

 

I think many answers are about to be answered. We decided to "try" to do this. We have read so much about the pros and cons from this post and we found so many other posts about the same thing. We have the same questions so many others have had. Most are from people who already are swinging and deciding if they should play with friends. We are completely new to this and haven't discussed doing it before being approached by our friends. Our swinging was purely watching swingers in porn. I asked my wife if she would rather try this away from home, with strangers. My reasoning was if we can't do it, we can leave and nobody is hurt. She gave me a big NO. She said she is not having sex with strangers we know nothing about. I kind of agree, more from watching her with a stranger than me being with a stranger. Trician you asked how will I feel watching. You are right, I have been asking how my wife will feel. In my mind I have already undressed our friend. I have already pictured myself going down on her and she taking me in her mouth. I picture this every time we talk about it of I write about it on here, while asking questions. In my mind, my friend, the husband is not in the picture. Of course he will be and he has probably though about my wife sexually for some time. Remember, this is there idea and they approached us.

 

The wives have talked and I have really left it up to her to say yes or no. My wife said they can try and see. They agreed we can back out at any time. No feelings will be hurt. She assured us we can go at our pace and if we are uncomfortable, say so. They said that they agreed to no matter what happens it won't effect our friendship. That is still a worry for me, more from wife's side. I have so many scenarios play in my head and I know, we both know, this is going to be awkward for us but at least it is with friends. Best friends.

Are we really doing this????

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I think the friendship is will be fine from their side. If anything it would weird on yours since you and your wife are the ones new to swinging. I think the typical scenario where swinging friends lose vanilla friends is when they approach them and the other friends are weirded out. I think if you've made it this far you'll be fine even if you back out.

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One thing about swinging is one size doesn't even TRY to fit all. There are so many different levels and combinations that they would be difficult to count. The fact that you two have been seriously talking about this and are understanding the possible out-comings and potential problems are all good things. It sounds like from your posts that you have already made your decision. Set your limits, don't exceed them, make sure that you both understand that you can stop at any point, and take the next step. Have a great time and let us know how things go...

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We have talked so much about it and yes we originally were weirded out by it. First weirded then inquisitive in a weird way. My wife asked most of the questions, I asked what you can say and wife did say, stupid questions. My questions were brought up due to my porn mind. My wife more to the safety mode.

 

Limits, I have a few. She may have more than me. She doesn't know how far she will go yet. I asked her if she alright with me having all types of sex with her friend. She said keep the kissing to a minimum and don't be silly. I am always silly. We did make up safety word that means let's stop. Think that was in a movie. Also she said don't pressure her. I won't.

Now the funniest thing we are talking about is getting nude in front of our friends. How do you start that? I know that sounds silly but it's real.

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Getting naked the first time is weird. We recently made some lifestyle friends who were brand new. We didn't want to pressure them until they were ready but the first time we met we all hit it off at dinner so we suggested come to our house to play some games since we so like board games. That didn't happen. W have this cool bed that was custom and had a bondage cross that can be attached and she was curious so we jokingly offered to set it up. She said yes and it was on like donkey Kong.

 

My suggestion since y'all know each other already would be to inject some humor and just start talking about sexually related things. I bet within minutes clothes will be everywhere. You just have to get that ice broken and then it's game on!

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Apprehension? Nervous? Excited? Worried? I feel like a kid who might get laid for the first time. Why do I feel like that? I am married to a wonderful woman. I don't have sexual anxiety anymore. Right? Am I looking to impress? Impress who? Our close friends? Yeah, I am home with so much to prepare for. Manscaping? My wife said I should, so we looked it up on the forum and I will be trimming today and shaving the twins. Please no nicks. She asked if she should go bare, I told her no, just trim tight. No gaseous food LOL. She is out getting new panties and bra. Yes I have teased her about panties and bra.

 

Now I haven't had any problems getting hard, ever. Why am I thinking like that? Being fast? Not in a few years. I think I am sized right, no one ever said differently but she has seen many men in the years she has been married to this husband. I wonder how many. How will I stack up?

Am I over thinking this? My wife still isn't sure how far she will go. I told her if she has doubts we won't go. She said she wants to do it. She says she is excited. We bought wine, but we always do that when visiting any friend. Oh, I bought condoms, something I never do anymore. Even that was a chore. Do I get ribbed or some swirl? Hey neither of us can have kids and I know our friend is fixed. I see some of you only go protected...bummer. I should stay safe.

Well now if I can get the "how do we get naked" part straight in my head.

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findinganswers, I'm reading your post and grinning. This is all totally normal, and actually part of the fun. It's all that anticipation and butterflies in the stomach and sweaty palms...feelings like that are just delicious. First kisses, first real touch, getting naked, the "did I miss a spot shaving??" panic. Oh, and not to freak you out or anything, but don't be surprised if you end up having some "technical difficulties" the first time around. It's actually really common. Your junk isn't broken; it's just experiencing sensory overload and, unsure what to do about it, it may decide to pass out cold. Trust me, if it happens, no one is judging you! It's temporary; you just need to pull back a bit, relax and be horny. If you're in doubt, take a time-out with your wife, and believe me, Mr. Willy will come to his senses. This happened to Mr. intuition. Turned out the problem was he was so worried that I'd be hurt by his having sex with another woman, he couldn't go through with it. When I reassured him that I was okay, that I wanted him to have fun and experiment, everything worked great. Again, not trying to scare you or anything; actually just the opposite. It's just an FYI.

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You most likely don't need advice anymore. I hope your weekend adventure went as you planned and you didn't have any miscues. I would think you were with friends who have been doing this for a long time. They would make you comfortable knowing that you both don't know what to expect and are nervous. They want to make this go right and have you as best friends and sex buddies. For us, we have met a number of newbies. All of these couples are nervous. Hope it went well and you will be seeing them again.

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Sounds like a typical first time :) Please, if you feel comfortable doing so, share with us your developing story.

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Not sure what is typical. I can say what we did, did not effect our friendship. At first my wife felt they may have felt slighted by her. She was a little shy. She kept he new panties on for quite some time. I did tease her about her "new panties". She didn't really get into giving oral but was fine taking, after her new panties came off. I would say she enjoyed what she got from both of them. My thought is when we do it again she might do more orally. Getting undressed was a game. It was fun and funny. Our friends were great at making it fun. I also know my wife enjoyed the sex. No one pressured her but by the time our friend entered her she was ready. For me, I had undressed our friend in my head for weeks. I was in all my glory doing anything and everything.

 

All is good. The wives shopped together yesterday and we have dinner plans tonight.

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Thanks for the update! Sounds like all is progressing well. How does your wife feel, how do you feel post facto?

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Everything is good. We have socialized with them since. We joked about what we did. And the girls are talking and shopping like before. My wife was a little uncomfortable with the joking. When we did what we did, she didn't get orally involved. Meaning she didn't blow him or go down on her. She did have sex just not doing oral. I did everything to our friend. My wife didn't get mad at me either. It was just her not doing. Our friends are joking about it but in a ribbing way. Of course I stuck up for my wife saying she gives a great blow job. Too bad nah nah nah. So really everything is cool. I am sure we will do it again. The husband said I am a lucky guy with a hot wife. Yeah she is good but wow his wife is just as hot.

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Always remember, YOUR wife is the hottest...she allowed the two of you to do this.

 

My wife IS the best.

Don't forget who's taking you home and whose arms you're going to be. She saved the last dance for me.

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Since our first time, our only time, we have been out with our friends and everything is great. They have suggested joining them and others at a party. Not everyone there will be strangers and we will know at least one other couple. They wouldn't tell us who the other couple is. I am happy we don't know, it means they are telling any friend about us. At this point we are not ready for a party or expanding out with other couples. We both agree we would do it again with our friends. It is funny how the girls have been talking more about this than I would with him. Then again the girls have been friends forever. My wife told me about her conversations. I smile knowing they are talking sex and about me. At least I didn't disappoint anyone and they want to do it again too. I asked my wife if they talked about her not being as participating the last time. They did and she was reassured that she can do whatever she is comfortable with. No pressure to do more than what she can. My wife is now more open and wants to do it again. Well I surly do too.

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We're very happy that everything is working out for you. Keep up with the updates and let us know how things progress. I don't know about you, but I'm certainly curious as to who the other couple is...

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I just want to thank Findinganswers and and the people who replied for this very constructive post. A lot of questions that we've had came up in this discussion. I appreciate everyone contributing from their experience. It sounds like, with friends, it either goes really well or really badly. Two of my friends wound up divorced because of an impulsive swinging experience. I think what makes the difference was the forethought that you put into the experience. Looking back, is there anything you would do differently?

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