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NandM78

Moving from fmf to couple swap or mfm

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Hi everyone, my wife and I are very open sexually, there is probably little that we haven't tried or talked about, and we both love sex. We are stable, with some problems in the past, but we have moved past that and are very happy together. We communicate very well, and have no issues telling each other our desires.

 

First thing first, we do have experience with fmf threesomes, we had one friend that we had threesomes with for almost a year, at least once or twice a month, then we had a threesome with another woman one time. My wife is pretty bi curious and loves being with women, I have always been open with this and I have always told her that I don't have to be present if she wants a women on her own. She's not up for that though, she would rather have me there and have a threesome with it, which I am ok with as well.

 

We have recently talked about swinging, and we are both open to it and excited, but I personally think that we should find a single man and have a mfm threesome first, just to make sure that we can handle it, as I would prefer to take part with her and another man in a straight mfm threesome, not only does the idea turn us both on, but she doesn't want to play with a women without me, and I don't think that I'm comfortable with her playing with a man without me, at least not yet.

 

My question is, should we find a single man and have a mfm threesome before trying to meet couples, or should we find a couple first, and hope that they are ok with the man joining us, which would be safer and have a better chance of everyone having fun?

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I think it comes down to which do you both want? You should swing the way you want to swing. If threesomes are really what you are after, then stick with those. If a couple on couple swap is what you are really after, then I would move straight to that and not try to use a threesome as a trial run for it. The dynamic is a little bit different for each type of scenario, so one doesn't automatically translate to the other.

 

One thing I'm not sure about from your post though is the playing separately. Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but it sounds like if you go the couple route then separate play is what you have in mind? That I would not recommend. Playing separately is something best saved for when you have some more experience, and too, finding another couple where both are willing to play separately right off the bat is probably going to cut down your pool of potentials significantly. Starting off that way carries more risk of getting off on the wrong foot I think that if you do it together as a couple.

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Thanks for the reply, it makes sense to go right for another couple rather than having a mfm as a step towards, my concern was that we aren't comfortable with separate play yet. A mfm threesome would be fun, I'm excited about it, but it would also get us used to another man being with her.

 

So no, we're not looking for separate play yet, we both really want to take part.

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There's nothing that says you have to jump head first into the pool without knowing how deep the water is. Start slow...same room sex with another couple and take it from there. Girl/girl play then same room...soft swapping then same room...full swap same room. There's a ton of variations and they all count as swinging. Don't rush things and go as a speed comfortable for everyone involved.

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The more people involved in a swing, the more likely one of the participates may have some kind of issue which could ruin it for everyone. We started off, while dating in college, with having couple swap sex with our friends ... worked pretty well. We also had some 3-somes (both kinds) those worked well, too. But, once we got married many of the couples we experienced were people we had not known for very long, or we only knew one part (M or F) of the couple. So we experienced times where someone (once it was me, actually) just wasn't into it so it was somewhat of a bummer for the partner without a partner. We've never had that kind of issue with 3-somes, however. Well, take that back ... sometimes the other female in a FMF was mostly interested in my wife. But we've never really had a downer with MMF's, and the sex between the 2 of us, afterwards, is something close to "awesome".

Just try to remember that the wife is usually the focus in a MMF, to help maximize her pleasure; the dividends pay off later. Also, I enjoy being able to watch my wife without participating; she's very orgasmic anyways, and goes through ALL the tell-tell signs of orgasm, which I sometimes miss when its me doing the pounding ...

gif_YellowBall-laughing6.gi.gifMac

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We did 3 or 4 MFMs, and then moved to couples swaps and couples play, never did to an FMF. I'm sure hubby would love to try one but I'm just not into the girl girl stuff.

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