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brickred22

Discretion and the workplace: How do keep work and FUN separate

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Due to the nature of my career, elements of swinging are not conducive. How do you go about keeping the two things completely separate, or can you? We want to get into the lifestyle but are very concerned it will have a detrimental effect on our careers. Any advice would be welcomed. Thanks!

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Your desecration is up to you.

Don't play with your workers, don't play in your own backyard.

 

I have seen people from pretty much all professions and walks of life over the years in this lifestyle.

 

Use good common sense and most of the time you will be alright.

 

Fact is though there is always a chance you will be found out.

 

Only you can decide if your hobby is worth your career.

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Lee hit on the two big ones - don't use work to find potential playmates, and don't swing in your own backyard. Follow those two rules and I think you have 99% reduced the chances of anything bad happening, and the risk of that was already low to begin with. Swingers value discretion, they expect it from others and give it in return. Just take a common sense approach about posting face pics and giving out personal info, and you should be fine.

 

Nothing is entirely without risk, but there have been a lot of posts made on this site over many years, and the number of being outed in a big way stories are very few, and even fewer are ones where anything really bad came from it. In fact, I can't even remember when the last one like that may have been.

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Good advice thus far! Keep in mind that running into someone from work at a club means they are there for the same thing! Keep your lips tight at work about your weekend adventures - it can be tempting to say too much and out yourself around the water cooler Monday morning.

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Great advise above. Being smart will greatly reduce the risk. If you do happen to run into someone in a club, they are there for the same reason as you, and you can always say it is your first time there (unless it is the second time you run into them). ;-)

 

On a more serious note, there was a thread a while back asking if anyone actually knew anyone that really suffered consequences for being outed. Not only were the stories of being outed very few, but despite the collective years of experience on this board, as I recall, nobody knew anyone that had something REALLY bad happen (my apologies if my memory is failing me). There were a few stories of kids, family, etc accidentally seeing pictures on a phone or computer (please everyone, password protect that stuff!!). Again, just be smart.

 

If all else fails, admit nothing, deny everything, and use the Shaggy defense ..."it wasn't me."

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My wife and I are beginners in the LS and although we live in a country where the overall sentiment is still sex-positive, we both run our own business in health services and we know for sure it could ruin our business when our activities in the LS would be in the open or known by the wrong people. So discretion was a priority for us, we really considered the risks and it was an extra threshold for us to enter the LS for real. At first we decided to only play far from home so our first club visit was an almost two hour drive from home. Then someone told me that if everyone is doing that, the chance you meet someone from your own town is in fact larger far away from home than closer. That was an eye opener for us. So now we play closer to home as well.

 

We are still careful. We never use our real first names but aliases. So in a LS setting, we address each other with completely different names and that works for us. We have a separate general hotmail email just for LS contacts. We don't use our regular cell phones for texts, whatsapp or calling since numbers can be reversed searched. Whatsapp is locked on our phones by an app so our nosy kids are not exposed to our hot conversations. When we had a SDC account, it didn't list our real hometown but one close by. Never shared any pics where nude was combined with our faces. If we go to a club or other LS gathering, we always hire a car so the license plate is not traceable. We also use a separate login account on our laptops to prevent exposure of url's or history in family or work setting. And the browsers on our phones are set up to wipe history after every use.

 

Now we have a couple we play with sometimes and the man of the couple has a very, very high profile job. They live close to us but we are not scared anymore. We feel extra secure, now we and the couple are locked in our shared secret. We now even know each other's real first names.

 

During the last two years of learning this new game we learned privacy is very important for everyone in the LS, so maybe we will be more relaxed on the privacy issue in the future.

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We both work for the government and have morals clauses in our contracts so discretion is important to us...but it's important to just about everyone here and in the L/S. Just use common sense and you should be alright. We've actually run across another couple who...well I guess we can't tell you that story now, can we (lol). Most everyone here is in the same boat and (as already said) if you do run across someone you know, they don't want anyone finding out about their activities at least as much as you don't.

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At my previous employer, I was in Sr. Management. My wife and I went to a local off-premise club and low and behold ran smack into a junior employee who also happened to work in HR. Nothing was said, we exchanged a couple of emails at work that alluded to that night and that was the end of it. Two years later, I changed jobs. We had coffee...laughed....and agreed to go on a date -- lol. And I will not go into the story about the parents of the son who my daughter went to pre-school with!

 

We live outside of DC and nearly everyone we meet has a high profile job -or so their egos tell them. After countless dates, play parties, M&G and even "swirl" events...we've never had an issue.

 

We keep our hobby to ourselves. Manage our pictures to prevent face pics hiddenexcept when we unlock them. Watch our behavior in vanilla settings, etc.

 

Is there risk. Absolutely. But more likely, those you run into will be there for the same thing and want their privacy protected as much as you do.

 

So use common sense and have fun!

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