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Mr&MrsV

Best environment for newbies?

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Ok so I realize I am on a swingers board (ultimately that's where my interest lies) however we are unsure how to begin getting our feet wet to gauge how it makes us feel. I see so many options like online profiles, clubs, parties, swingers cruises,events, and conventions.

 

What is the best environment to start out having more alt experiences without jumping in blindly? Right now I think (If I'm accurately reading his comfort level and unsure of mine) we are thinking we could handle watching people, we could handle flirting/dancing/talking, we *might* be able to handle others watching us. I'm trying not to get too technical about it or get caught up in lingo but I feel like that's not really swinging yet I'd like to be an environment where that is what everyone else is there for.

 

I went to a sex club long ago (in a previous relationship) and felt it was so not my scene... it was very seedy and so many men following us around with their cock in their hand waiting for the slightest hint they were going to get action watching us. I was totally turned off.

 

I need to be in an environment where people aren't all seedy and understand respect and boundaries. Does that make sense?

 

Is the best option an on premise club?

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I need to be in an environment where people aren't all seedy and understand respect and boundaries. Does that make sense?

 

Is the best option an on premise club?

 

Of course it makes sense and, yes, I do think an on premise club is your best bet. The one we go to is not at all seedy, in fact it's quite nice and has lovely gardens, "no means no" is a centerpiece, as is the notion that it's a women's club, and you'd be among others who are also interested in only either watching or being watched. There is also, although we don't have personal experience, a relatively local hotel party held regularly, that offers on-premise play as well as reduced rate rooms for sleepovers and more private play. I'm guessing finding something similar to one of those options would give you a kind of soft opening that would allow you to explore without making you feel uncomfortable.

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Mr&MrsV, where we are located, we don't have nice clubs...they are on the seedy side but that's where we started. In fact, we went to the club and had a similar experience that you described. Although it was different for us being in a sexually charged atmosphere, the amount of men walking around was a big turn-off for Mr. Sun. After our first night at the club, we did some online searching, found the forum, and found SLS. What we have found the most helpful about SLS isn't finding couples' profiles and "hooking up" with them but the calendar of local events, like parties and meet and greets. A couple of weeks after our first visit to the club, we went to a meet and greet which was a nice way to meet some of the local swinger community. If you aren't sure, you two might want to look into M&Gs just to get out and talk to other swingers. Let them know you two have questions, going slow, and exploring the LS. It's also great because you don't have that pressure to play. Couples are there to talk and mingle.

 

With that said, we've only gone to one M&G. After that, we mostly went to parties and a few more visits to the club when we weren't sure what to do for the evening and there weren't any parties. My advice would be to try different options. Clubs, parties, online profiles, meet and greets...you two will find something that will suit your personalities!

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You know, an 'off-pemises' club might be better for you. It's a place to meet and talk to folks who are there for the same reason you are but nothing sexual goes on there. And, if you can find an orientation meeting then you'll be there with other couples who are really like you and still in the inquisitive stage. You might even make new friends at one of these gatherings.

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You know, an 'off-pemises' club might be better for you. It's a place to meet and talk to folks who are there for the same reason you are but nothing sexual goes on there. And, if you can find an orientation meeting then you'll be there with other couples who are really like you and still in the inquisitive stage. You might even make new friends at one of these gatherings.

 

Thanks that helps as well. Not sure where to find an "off premise" club. Our closest big city would be Seattle and I know there's an on premise club there, but don't know about anything else so when we're ready what's the best way to find out about these sorts gatherings that are less intimidating?

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Thanks that helps as well. Not sure where to find an "off premise" club. Our closest big city would be Seattle and I know there's an on premise club there, but don't know about anything else so when we're ready what's the best way to find out about these sorts gatherings that are less intimidating?

 

The short answer is that swinger hook up sites like swinglifestyle.com also list events. The more specific answer is that there are two on premise clubs close to Seattle (New Horizons and Eros Events), one hotel party called Sapphire and an off premise club called Original Circles. Also, the meet and greet group, with events throughout the region, is North West Couples and Bi Females.

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The short answer is that swinger hook up sites like swinglifestyle.com also list events. .

 

That is what I find beneficial to an account. We keep track of events that are close enough for us and we can also give out our account name for people we meet to contact us and see if we sign up for events if they want to try to meet with us again.

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Thank you everyone! Appreciate the info, we thought there was only one club in Seattle area - that's why we're newbies :)

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You know, an 'off-pemises' club might be better for you. It's a place to meet and talk to folks who are there for the same reason you are but nothing sexual goes on there. And, if you can find an orientation meeting then you'll be there with other couples who are really like you and still in the inquisitive stage. You might even make new friends at one of these gatherings.

 

There are a variety of different types of swinger clubs, and even with the same type, they are each different. Some on-premise are more seedy than others, some are very up-scale. Some off-premise are even a bit seedy (or cross the lines into on-premise despite saying they are off-premise). That said, I'd still agree that an off-premise club or social would probably be a good starting place for you. It would allow for the looking sexy, flirting, & dancing and if you choose to go further you can get a room.

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Our first experience was a house party and it was great. (Most of the) People were very understanding and gentle.

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Thank you everyone! Appreciate the info, we thought there was only one club in Seattle area - that's why we're newbies :)

Portland has a very wide range of clubs (sex, strip, bdsm/sex, etc). Sesso just reopened and is better, Velvet Rope, lots of theaters, etc....

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We started with the male half of a couple that had approached us for swinging. We hadn’t even thought about it. 3 months later, we started by having MFM with him. But, I would recommend a couples club, on premises is best but not absolute. We went to one when we (I) was ready to move from MFM to swaps. It worked well. We observed, talked, danced, later went into a play room and played with one another while we watched the interaction of others. Next visit, we swapped.

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