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  • How Do I Get My Wife To Swing?

    Question: How do I get my wife to swing.
    Answer: Ask her.

    Now Chicup you think, my wife is a prude/born again christian/devote muslim/etc etc, she will never just agree to swing, I need some method to trick her into it, perhaps mind control? Well you would be right in a way but there is no magic formula, and in this case “mind control” would have to be simply convincing logically.

    First the desire MUST be there somewhere. You can overcome some objections but you can't overcome no desire to do it. If there is any desire there most objections will come from either external or internal sources. External would be “what would my family think!”, “I don't want to go to hell!”, “What if my boss finds out!” that sort of thing. Internal ones would be both personal and relationship, “I'm to old.”, “I'm too ugly.”, “I'm too fat.”, “What if we catch an STD!” an likewise “What if he leaves me for another better looking woman?”, “What if I fall for another guy?”, “What if I get really really jealous at seeing him with another woman, and then go find that persons home, kill their rabbits and finally get killed in a bath tub trying to get my revenge?”

    Now can we tell you how to approach these issues? Nooooooooo. There is a very good reason for this. Only YOU know your wife, only YOU know her hang ups, only YOU know her desires, and if you don't then you don't know her well enough to start swinging. Now provided you know if shes worried about going to hell or perhaps that shes psychotic, you need to approach from that angle.

    For questions like religion, Google is your friend. Google things like “Christian Swingers” and the like and there you can find a lot of sophistry which is designed to make people feel better about this sort of thing. Perhaps that can convince her. I'm pretty useless on that being I gave up in believing that almighty beings really cared where I put my penis many years ago, but if that's her thing (or yours) then perhaps you will find something helpful.

    If the issue is about looks the best way to cure that is join a swingers site that lets free members see pictures. I'd recommend SLS for that. Do a search of your area. Swingers come in all shapes and sizes, many of them horrible to behold. Swingers are NOT a pretty crowd on average and the number that takes care of themselves doesn't seem to be any greater than the general public. You will find everything from underwear models, to people who look only vaguely human. Mind you I wouldn't use this step until you have isolated its looks shes worried about. Simply joining a site and showing her a bunch of swingers before shes ready can be “bad” for your chances.

    STD's. They happen. They happen in swinging. They are lied about in swinging. That being said your risk is just like any single out there right now, perhaps a bit lower even. No good data really exists out there. All I can say is that take proper precautions, use your head, be aware that most swingers have managed without getting STDs, and know that yes there is a risk. We as a couple decided (and openly talked about) that the STD risk was worth it for what swinging did for us as a couple.

    Falling in love. Yes it happens in swinging. You know why it happens in swinging? A LOT of people, especially new people forget this is about couples and about sex. Its not about friendship and flowers. Its hard dirty, fuck me till I scream, sex. Now Chicup you say, “Thats horrible, I want to be friends with my partners, I want to go to their kids plays, I want to meet their parents.” Thats fine and good, we like swinger friends too, but you have to be 100% secure, and 100% a team in this. Otherwise nature can and does take its course. Personally I'd recommend for newbie couples (and I can already hear the complaints) is that you never swing with the same couple 3 times in a row. Meet new couples, play the field, but don't simply become exclusive. You can't fall in love if you don't spend the time together. Now I'm not saying 2 and done, I'm saying 2 in a row. Bring in other couples and keep things fresh. We are at a point where we are pretty safe from this but only because we have the experience. We have seen others who did badly.

    Now here is a brief flow chart for you men. (Sometimes its a woman trying to get the man, and I'm useless there being it was never a question for me).

    FIND OUT her fantasies.
    If she doesn't seem to have any, ASK her if she would like to do this or that.
    Make sure she is comfortable. She might want to be gang banged but doesn't want to tell you about it for fear of your reaction. Ask her in a way to get the truth. I can't tell you what that is, you are the one that is suppose to know her.
    Using HIGH quality porn can help. “Honey if no one would every know, would you like to be that woman.”

    After you find out what she likes, THEN proceed to ask about swinging.
    “What if I could find someone to do that with you?”

    Once you get to meeting a couple stage DON'T get desperate. Don't swing unless you feel the other couple is a good fit. A bad first experience can be worse than no experience.

    You might find yourself after reading this saying “this won't help”. Maybe it won't some women will just NOT want to swing. Some might want to but are just too caught up in why they shouldn't. You can't change that. Enjoy your wife for what she is an move on, its only sex. It might take years of non-pushy discussion to go from a “no” to a “yes”, and thats ok. She might say “No and never bring it up again” and thats ok too. Swinging is a couples “sport” and as such you both need to want to.

    You also might be a swinger reading this and saying “Thats not how we did it at all Chicup, you are stupid, and I bet your face is stupid looking too!”. Thats ok too. There is no single blueprint for this, but if you really don't know how to talk to your wife its better than fumbling around in the dark.
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