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Thread: Mommy Tummy

  1. #1

    Default Mommy Tummy

    What are the real, true thoughts (mostly from men) on the ďMommy tummyĒ most women have? This can attest to stretch marks, a little loose skin etc. from pregnancies over the years. My husband says he doesnít notice it much or pay much attention to it. Obviously women will critique ourselves the most and we notice it far more extensively on our own bodyís, but for husbands/play partners, in an honest opinion, does it bother you? Do you even notice it all, is it a slight turn off or not at all just something thatís there but not worth a second thought. I just donít fathom has it cannot NOT be bothersome to those looking at it. I work out daily, am in pretty decent shape (26 inch waist) but that dreaded skin is still there. It drives me nuts, and oh the jiggle it has when Iím on top of my husband trying to enjoy myself...when I feel it begin to move, I immediately focus on that and hiding it.

    Please donít say ďbelieve your husbandĒ because despite me knowing he is saying the truth on his stance, he is also blinded by the love he has for me and the fact that itís my skin that gave him children. However, that does not make it a desirable attribute. It makes it there.


  2. #2

    Default Re: Mommy Tummy

    I couldn’t care less about mommy tummy. I’ve been overweight in the past and have lost a lot of it. But, have some stretch marks because if it and I still have a bit of a beer belly. Those who look s in glass houses...

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Mommy Tummy

    No woman is entirely pleased with what she sees in a mirror.

    Yes, I notice Mommy Tummy. It does not turn me away. I suspect that I am like most people. Attraction or lack of attraction is a sum total of many things hard to describe. I simply know what I like when I see it.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Mommy Tummy

    These questions arise often, I'm a man and I understand women care about how they look especially when naked.

    My opinion is you could be the most beautiful woman in the world, with the perfect body, but you still won't be attractive if you have a lousy personality.

    A great personality is very attractive, and will usually win over a perfect body.

    When someone wants to have sex with you they want the whole woman, not just a piece.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Mommy Tummy

    @cSwing,

    I'm not sure there is anything anyone here could say that would convince you. You've already discounted the most important person in your life's opinion because he's 'blinded by love' - what hope does a rando on the internet have

    Unfortunately we are programmed to believe how others perceive us defines our worth, and then we are encouraged to project onto others our worse self image issues. It's a vicious cycle.

    Ultimately self image is yours to grapple with. Mindfulness might help, focusing on the pleasure your body brings you vs how you look, though I'm a little loath to be prescriptive here. I do know that the week leading up to a week at a swingers resort is always fraught with self doubt for us, but the week after we feel like gods. Being surrounded by folks of all shapes and sizes, ages and persuasions, rocking their ultimate naked sexy selves is like a full body lift. We return home feeling 10 years younger and infinitely sexier. If we could only bottle the essence of that for when we're not there.

    Regardless, good luck with your struggle. Folks will find you sexy. Whether you believe they will or not.

    D

  6. #6

    Default Re: Mommy Tummy

    Unless you have incredible genes, eat perfectly, work out hours daily or have the funds for elective surgery the odds are, if you've had children, you'll have a little poochie. It's the price of mommyhood along with the odd gray hair, super hearing and eyes in the back of your head. Since we search for H/W/P couples, a little baby belly is no more of an issue than a bit of a boob sag or a dimple or two on the butt. Aging and parenthood takes its toll on everybody. I once had a LOT more hair than I do now and it used to be black Irish dark. Now the term salt and pepper is a charitable description since it's more like salt….. with a dash. My point is that we all physically reflect our life, our age and our experiences. Of course I'd notice a baby belly but if it's not resting on your knees when you sit it wouldn't be any more of a game changer than a couple of stretch marks on your boobs or strands of silver in your hair. Most of us weren't super models to start with and the fact is, if we live long enough, no one will want to see us naked. While they do, ENJOY it!!

  7. #7

    Default Re: Mommy Tummy

    The little bit of a tummy that results from having had a baby can actually be an indication of fertility and a turn-on. Being fat or obese, however, is a definite turn-off.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Mommy Tummy

    Quote Originally Posted by a_d_xxx View Post
    Folks will find you sexy. Whether you believe they will or not.
    The above statement really sums it up. Everyone has things about themselves they wish were different, yet, there are still plenty of people who find them sexy. It's a good thing being our own worst enemy is always on the losing side of the battle or none of us would ever have found a girlfriend or boyfriend, wife or husband, swing partners, or friends! It's a lot easier to see inside for what matters when looking at someone than it is to see inside a reflection in a mirror.
    Not all those who wander are lost

  9. #9

    Default Re: Mommy Tummy

    Folks will find you sexy. Whether you believe they will or not.


    Anyone over 25 will have some 'battle scars', some visible, some not. We ALL have parts that we wish were different or better, but some of us LIKE seeing those 'self perceived' short comings (although they usually go unnoticed because you are the only one who focuses on them). It's just a sign that you have lived your life. Beauty is only skin deep, but sexy comes from inside your core and always trumps beauty. Just as sure as there will always be others that you think are better looking, there are just as many (or more) that are no as attractive as you are. Women are their own worst critics. Trust me when I say that I would be more interested in watching something slightly higher up jiggling and not notice anything else.

    Then again, your husband may be a notorious liar and just saying nice things about you that really aren't true...
    If you donít have to lie about sex, you donít have to lie about anything. - John Williamson


  10. #10

    Default Re: Mommy Tummy

    Hello All,

    Firstly, I want to thank you for responding to a post that may seem so narrow minded. I do appreciate everyoneís insight and honesty. I know in my heart that my husbands love stretches far beyond my skin ever has and to shrink his words down are only doing an injustice to myself and my marriage. It is a looooonnnnggg journey to self love. A constant battle that Iím sure doesnít get conquered in one day. There are days worse than others and some that I feel like Iím the Queen of Sheba. I do notice my ďflawsĒ probably more so than others (good lighting can help me not see it too) but I probably see them a lot differently and more strongly than others as well. There is no denying that itís there. To say otherwise would be a blatant lie. As with learning to change our mindsets about LS, love separating from sex, and many other life lessons, body appreciation is yet another beast in itself. Time and patience I suppose thank you all again!

  11. #11

    Default Re: Mommy Tummy

    Not narrow minded, but a concern of yours and that makes it okay. Its the total package, not scrutinizing small flaws (especially under good light). If you have a great smile, most won't be able to see much else. We are SURE that you will be just fine, just listen to what your husband says...we believe him and so should you.
    If you donít have to lie about sex, you donít have to lie about anything. - John Williamson

  12. #12

    Default Re: Mommy Tummy

    What would it take for you to love your body?

    I've had sex with a lot of women, including some who had model-perfect bodies, and while I'm very appreciative of the various ways in which women's bodies are put together, what actually attracts me more than anything else is a woman who is comfortable enough in her own skin to never worry about how she looks while she is having sex, or dancing, or walking around naked. You can have that at any size or shape, with or without baby pooch, sagging breasts or a dimpled ass.

  13. #13

    Default Re: Mommy Tummy

    A quote from the late Mrs. Alura: "I never question my husband's taste."

    Love doesn't make us blind, it enables us to focus more sharply. That's why your husband sees your beauty without even noticing the Mommy Tummy.

    Men with whom you swing won't have that love, but most will have experience with mommy tummies and won't care one whit.
    "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it." óWill Rogers

    "Swingin' Down to Tulsa," a novel by the Aluras. Read a free sample Here

  14. #14

    Default Re: Mommy Tummy

    To be honest, Iím not sure what it would take for me to love my body. I say time, but thatís immeasurable and surgery isnt always the solution. I had breast concerns after nursing my children for 15months total. I researched and went ahead and got a procedure (breast lift and reasonable sized implants) hoping to change my outlook on myself and boost my confidence. I got the breasts I wanted...with the cost of having huge scars under my breasts, up the underside and around my areolas and am now ashamed of the scars. I suppose the grass isnít always greener and presumed remedies donít always remedy an unhealthy personal outlook.

  15. #15

    Default Re: Mommy Tummy

    Deep down it's one of my biggest concerns (about myself), but I try not to let it get in the way. Confidence is so sexy! Insecurities of any kind are not.

    So no matter how you feel inside, act like a winner!

    I find that swinging actually helps alleviate these anxieties because in the end we are all real people and no one is perfect. Exercise helps too because you know that you've done your bit and you are the best you can be.

  16. #16

    Default Re: Mommy Tummy

    cSwing: Just from the things that you have said, you're beautiful.
    If you donít have to lie about sex, you donít have to lie about anything. - John Williamson

  17. #17

    Default Re: Mommy Tummy

    Sexy turns me on. If you feel sexy you will look sexy. No one of us is perfect. I would like to have six pack abs and a beer can thick cock.


  18. #18

    Default Re: Mommy Tummy

    You're fine. You're wonderful and when the time is right, you'll cum like a freight train. You won't blind a new man with love, but you will blind them with amazingly fun sex. Fun sex is actually one of the best prisms to be viewed through.

    I've told this story before, a man and I were chatting at a house party. I was perhaps 23 and he was 50. Long story short, we reached a point where he said it was obvious that I was out of his league. I replied that I thought I should be the one who decided that. Well, the sex was incredible. God, he could fuck. Even Alex, who was elsewhere in the house later told me he saw us and could tell i was having a really great time (which I was). If you argue for your limitations they are yours.

    Now, go have some fun.

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