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Would you PLEASE dance with my husband!

JustAskJulie

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When we arrived at the club on Saturday night we noticed a few couples that looked familiar. We hadn't been to this club in a while but we used to frequent it, so we knew some faces just looked familiar from having seen them there, and others might have looked familiar from having seen them online. One couple in particular seemed familiar and kept looking at us. We had some friends meeting us there, and shortly after they showed up, the male half of this couple came up to us and asked "are you Julie & Pet?" "yes, we are". "Hey, we met you guys about a year ago at....." At that point we remembering looking at their profile on SLS and the email history (they had no face pics) regarding having met at said party last year. I remembered their names form the email exchange and said "Oh, you're D right?" "yeah, and my wife is R, she's over there (points to her)."

 

Ok. Great. He heads back to her and we decide we should be pleasant and go say hi to her. So, we decided to get up and give ourselves a little tour of the club to see what was new and as we walked past them, we stopped and said hello. He was all smiles and she seemed just kinda pissy. No smiles for her, no real pleasantness or nice to see you. We headed off to continue our tour and eventually returned to our seats with our friends.

 

Later in the night, we headed upstairs and they followed. Again he was all pleasant and talking about how much they'd wanted to see us again after they met us before..... and she said...nothing. No smiles, she kinda wondered off at one point. Now granted, I wouldn't say we were interested in the couple right off, but we might have been had there been any sort of personality mesh from her. Basically, it was a situation where I wouldn't have felt I was taking one for the team if Pet had clicked with her. However, it seemed there was no interest from her whatsoever. I'm not even sure she wanted to be there. We did talk a little about the club and how they preferred the other club in the area. They've also been visiting our favorite club a bit (although not when we've been there evidently) and loved it (as do we). However, all of this info came from him. She said almost nothing.

 

Eventually, we headed back downstairs and hit the dancefloor a bit. As we exited the dancefloor, she grabs me and says "Will you please dance with my husband!" (this was not a question, it was more of an exasperated demand to which the only allowable reply was "um ok"). So, I looked at him and he says "not right this second I've got to use the restroom" (or something) and walks off. She heads back to her seat and I head to mine. At this point I'm not feeling great, my stomach is hurting a bit (I just had surgery a few weeks ago and I'm still recovering, this was my first night out). He returns and asks me to dance and I oblige. However, I find that dancing is making me feel worse so I stop and head back to my seat.

 

We left shortly thereafter.

 

The next day we've already got a message from them (him?) about how great it was to see us and they'd like to get together.....

 

Obviously, at this point there's little interest on our part, and it seems that there's no interest on her part. I really can't tell what her issue was. But, I know we are going to end up seeing them again, likely at our home club.

 

I have no idea what my question is

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Nice story, loved reading it. Wouldn't it be great to read this story from her perspective? I think your question is "How do I handle the next meeting with them that will result in no hateful or embarrassing feelings". And to that, I say good luck. Maybe Pet could pull her aside for a drink alone for a few minutes and get her to open up a bit. Who knows?

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Just another one of those oddities of people you find in swinging. You could just be upfront and say that she didn't really seem interested.

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The really odd part is that 'she' asked you to dance with her husband. I'm sort of thinking that they have a secret little game they play. Be alert for it next time..., if it is their game, it might be fun to be a participant. :)

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Or not. One thing we have learned about ourselves: if either of us is not really looking forward to an evening with other LS folks, best to cancel/postpone. Being around people having fun when you're not similarly disposed just makes you feel worse. The exasperated "will you PLEASE dance with my husband?" could have been the best she could do to please her husband and organize an exit.

 

Parties, meets, 2+2...all of these LS activities more or less require some level of enthusiasm to get to some level of engagement. Yet we're all human. Sometimes the aches are physical. Sometimes the pain is psychic/emotional. Sometimes life catches up with us and we realize how fatigued we are.

 

At a guess, you caught a couple on a bad night. If the sense of fun isn't there, we demur and move on. As SW_PA is fond of remarking, the LS is like an urban subway station--miss one, and another will be along in a few minutes.

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Oh, how frustrating! I would be upfront and say that you don't feel the wife is interested at all, which kinda' puts the kibosh on any potential interest for you. And from the sounds of it you'll probably "miss" each other the next time you visit your home club, anyway.

 

=)

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Oh my god how funny your story was.  But let me explain, not funny with respect to how you felt, very funny based on us having experienced similar situations. My wife and I read the entire story and we just wanted to say great ending to it. I guess no question was needed. Your story made it pretty clear she was not in any way shape or form interested in anything that was going on. Obviously the interest and desire and efforts were all coming from him. We unfortunately have experience situations such as that. We couldn’t help but laugh especially at the part where you received an email the next day saying how great it was to meet you and how much “they” would love to see you both again.  incredibly comical.   So tell us, when’s your next planned date with them?. Just kidding, just couldn’t resist asking that.  LMAO   

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Interesting question may be, is other wife not in to the LS, or is the other wife not into the two of you?

Or as FL suggests, sometimes we are just not "in the mood" and will occasionally try to placate our partner

by giving in. Is this what happened here?

 

We tend to be over communicators; we won't hesitate to simply ask people "may I have your help please.

we really are trying to understand where this is going tonight; is there anything you would like to share?"

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If we catch ourselves led down a path of having to overthink the situation or feel drama started to brew, we move on. 

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