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  1. #1

    Default Bi solution to jealousy?

    Hello all. So I will caveat before I begin.
    Assuming the couple:
    1. Has a strong and healthy relationship
    2. Good communicators
    3. Attention isn't an issue

    Is it safe to say being bi can mitigate the potential for jealousy in certain scenarios?

    I ask as there is a mutual appreciation for the sexual object. Example: I have friends that are female and say...i would be devastated if he grabbed her boobs. I have a bi female friend like. No they are nice #$% I want to grab them!

    Or another issue where a couple told me how he was in admiration of his wife's bj prowess ...and envious he couldnt join in.

    Thoughts?


  2. #2
    South of disorder WesternSwing's Avatar
    Status
    Kinky, Polyamorous Partnered Male

    Default Re: Bi solution to jealousy?

    The bi situations you reference sound more like envy than jealousy, where the vanilla "I'd be devastated if he grabbed her boobs" is pure jealousy and I think has little to do with sexual orientation. Though, I think bi people may "get" it more than many vanillas because they have needs that they would like to fulfill with the other gender (even if they don't).
    "Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are." ~ Anna Freud
    Blog: Bigger Love

  3. #3

    Default Re: Bi solution to jealousy?

    Astute point westernswing! Barring the envy vs. jealousy comment do you think being attracted to the same object (for lack of a better word) breeds understanding? Or am I just really off base and have no clue (which is very well the case lol)!

    Inquiring rookie swingers want to know !?!?!

  4. #4

    Default Re: Bi solution to jealousy?

    Bi sexuality is not the core solution to jealousy. At best it is a enabler resulting from the solution. Controlling jealousy, AKA possessiveness requires trust & at the core the confidence ones friends, partners, lovers, wives place you ahead of other encounters or relationships. This goes both ways, one spouse free to rove while the other is restricted is not a balanced healthy relationship. Open relationships, couples swaps, group sex or parties, are all opportunities for both spouses or partners to have equality and feel they are not being left out. I suspect this is why I meet so many bisexual married couples. By sharing a male or a female in a threesome a lot or all of the exclusion is removed. I'd recommend you two talk regularly about your feelings, work through the barriers and shields & little lies. Your marriage and sexuality will improve.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Bi solution to jealousy?

    It totally depends....

    I have known bisexual women who would love to have threesomes with their boyfriends.

    But I have also known bisexual women who would rip off their boyfriends balls if he even touched another man or women.

    I don't think been bisexual means you will like threesomes.

    Liking threesomes and group sex is a separate thing.

    You could be bisexual and be totally closed minded towards threesomes, or could be bisexual an open minded to threesomes.

    I think the main question is if the person is okay with the idea of group sex or not.

  6. #6
    South of disorder WesternSwing's Avatar
    Status
    Kinky, Polyamorous Partnered Male

    Default Re: Bi solution to jealousy?

    Quote Originally Posted by Martain2018 View Post
    Astute point westernswing! Barring the envy vs. jealousy comment do you think being attracted to the same object (for lack of a better word) breeds understanding? Or am I just really off base and have no clue (which is very well the case lol)!

    Inquiring rookie swingers want to know !?!?!
    In my expererience, I've seen women not be jealous at all of her husband having sex with another woman, but get very jealous about her husband having sex with another man. But... I've never seen a man get jealous when his wife has sex with another woman and too many times to count seen men get jealous when she has sex with another man (also known as "one penis policy").

    Why is this? I don't know. It's just an observation I've seen time after time in the lifestyle.
    "Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are." ~ Anna Freud
    Blog: Bigger Love

  7. #7

    Default Re: Bi solution to jealousy?

    Yeah, see that mistaken assumption posted all the time. "If I'm with another man it's less threatening/likely to cause jealously/etc than a woman". But the reverse can certainly be true. Another man can be more threatening because they can't offer the same experience.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Bi solution to jealousy?

    Right on...! Thanks for everyone lending insight. I thought..."maybe I offended someone" based of the initial lack of responses.

    Nerdsarefun - you are a lot more eloquent then me. That was the point I was getting to. (Albeit awkwardly). Lol

    Westernswing- I have seen the same observations.

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