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Straight Women and Swinging.... need answers

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Originally Posted by Pepper & Drew Quote:

I'd never really pondered this a lot until talking with one of my friends. She was talking about a couple they'd just met and I asked if the women of the couple was bi. She said, "how many couples do you know where the women's not bi?". Hell, actually, I don't know any. I think it is a rarity to have a straight women in a swinging couple. Seems to me that it would make for an odd dynamic if the woman was straight. Often, when you meet a new couple, it's the ladies that get together first---at least in our experience. So, if you take that out of the equation, it seems like it would be more difficult to start the play.

 

End Quote

 

I have often wondered that myself. What do you do with a str8 woman in a foursome? I would really consider myself str8, as opposed to a lesbian, and playfully adaptive as opposed to str8. So what would I do if Mr. Indy and husband X were playing with str8 wife x? Let's say she is sucking my husband and hers is screwing her.... so I file my fingernails and wait?

 

I would really like to be enlightened on this topic if there are str8 women out there that could help?

 

The only str8 woman I have seen was at a club (swinging that is), and she was in a gang bang. I wouldn't suppose that is is all str8 women want, is it? I mean sans swap, or girl-girl (obviously).

 

Would a str8 woman be offended if a women touched her during play?

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Outside of a swinging situation, I would consider myself straight. However, when involved with a threesome or swinging action, I do take part in bisexual activities. I can't imagine that a "straight" woman would be offended in a foursome if she was touched by another woman.

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Well.....I consider myself a straight female. However I've been in situations where Myself and Mr. 20ish were having sex in the same room with another couple, and the other woman ended up touching me. I wasn't offended the least bit, however, I couldn't bring myself to touch her back and really didn't find it to be too too pleasurable when she was touching me. But Not offended at all. We consider ourselves swingers, and are open to try lots of new things, but we mainly play MFM....since I would consider myself as straight. I do understand what was previously stated....lol....I don't know what you'd do in a 4some with a straight woman.

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Oh Goodie, a post with my name on it! :rofl:

 

I think it is a rarity to have a straight women in a swinging couple. Seems to me that it would make for an odd dynamic if the woman was straight. Often, when you meet a new couple, it's the ladies that get together first---at least in our experience. So, if you take that out of the equation, it seems like it would be more difficult to start the play.

 

We are a couple with a straight female ("straight" defined here as no girl/girl play at all.) I would absolutely agree that there seem to be very few couples with straight females. I feel way in the minority in that way, sometimes. (But being in the minority isn't that big a deal, you just have to be upfront about your boundaries in a nice way.) Lots of bi-curious females are perfectly happy to just swap with us, and then play with the females of other couples they know. The lack of girl-play probably does make getting the ball rolling a little harder, but we usually just start playing with our own spouses and then switch. Or we play an ice-breaker game.

 

 

I have often wondered that myself. What do you do with a str8 woman in a foursome? I would really consider myself str8, as opposed to a lesbian, and playfully adaptive as opposed to str8. So what would I do if Mr. Indy and husband X were playing with str8 wife x? Let's say she is sucking my husband and hers is screwing her.... so I file my fingernails and wait?

 

I would really like to be enlightened on this topic if there are str8 women out there that could help?

 

The only str8 woman I have seen was at a club(swinging that is) , and she was in a gang bang. I wouldn't suppose that is is all str8 women want, is it? I mean sans swap, or girl-girl (obviously).

 

 

We reserve MFMs for when we are with single males, because you're right ... the "resting" F could feel left out. (But I imagine if both women are highly voyueristic, or like to film the action while they're inactive, it could still work.) When we are with couples, we leave it at full-swap and don't attempt any combinations that might leave someone feeling left out.

 

In the MFMF situation you describe in your post, I think most straight women would be fine with you interacting with either your husand or hers, who are conveniently positioned at either end of her ... for your easy access. ;)

 

Would a str8 woman be offended if a women touched her during play?

 

Unless she's homophobic, she's not going to freak out if your body touches hers in the course of a play session. She'll probably handle it like most straight men do, when they accidentally touch: just ignore it, it's no big deal.

 

But if you were to touch her in a clearly sexual manner, showing a deliberate attempt to flirt or "persuade" her ... of course she would be offended. You have just ignored a boundary she expressed to you before play started. And that's always a :nono: , straight or bi. I can't really imagine any bi or bi-curious lady doing something like that, though. The bi ladies who feel girl/girl play is a "must" would be unlikely to choose a couple with a straight female. There are so many other couples for them to choose from.

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Great reply.. thanks for the info!

 

Sure, thanks for asking the question(s.) It was fun to think through my thoughts about the topic, and reply! :)

 

I want to mention also that we have never been made to feel like we were "odd" by other couples. We get the occasional, "Oh, sorry ... I didn't notice your profile said straight. My wife's really bi, so we're probably not a match. Bye, and good luck." But that's pretty rare, and only when the husband's sending out feelers before his wife has read things.

 

Or ... when it's one of those "female-free" couples. :lol:;)

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My gf is straight and we go to a swingers club some together. We have been in a few situations where a female has approached us both or where one started playing with her or both of us. She doesn't have a problem with it as long as she isn't expected to return the favor. She isn"t opposed to being with another woman, she is just more into guys and mfm 3somes. She would also like to watch me do everything with another couple.

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Mrs Spoomonkey would be "playfully adaptive" as you put it Indy - but when we play with a very straight couple, we do full swap...

 

I can give the other wife lots of attention :D

 

I agree with Denver - leave the MFM for a threesome. No sense wasting a good playmate ;)

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Mrs. Good Times is very straight but she isn't offended if a women touches her and will even occasionally reciprocate as long as it stays above the waist. Maybe it is a regional thing but of the couples we know a quit a few of the females are straight. We are primarily interested in full swap so if a couple is primarily interested in FF action we probably wouldn't be playing with them anyway.

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"playfully adaptive" lol I like that!

 

We started out in the lifestyle, as so often happens, searching for a bisexual encounter for me. We leaned towards couples simply because there would be less worry about the 'playing for keeps' issue (what can I say? we were newbies). After having some fun with a woman, I came to realize that, yeah, I'm primarily straight. I definitely prefer a dose of masculinity to a woman any day... although I can certainly appreciate the beauty of the female form, and their wonderful sexual differences. I thoroughly enjoy the opportunity to play with another woman when we swing, but outside of that it's just not for me. I don't lust after women. I just happen to be very openminded when we're all playing together, and I see everyone, male or female, as a potential playmate.

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Red is straight. She thought about it and concluded that anything bi just wasn't her. Must say, it has never led to any reduction in playtime for us at all! In our experience of couples with bi ladies there has never been any problem with unwanted attention. In fact the majority have said that they prefer a man anyway. When it comes to the MFM bit of a foursome, the "spare" lady never seems to have been at a loss for something interesting to do :)

 

CB

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Yeah, I like playfully adaptive.

 

The couple we play with has a straight female, but she doesn't mind touching or being touched as long as it is above the waist. Personally, I perfer men, but don't mind playing with other women...sooo I think that makes me bi with a leaning towards men. :lol:

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Perplexing questions of the day you all throw out there, and since I'm not seasoned or a female, some of you may have to correct me if my reply would be in bad form or bad manners if I were a straight female and the other female was straight also.

 

It seems to me that if I were a woman watching two men give pleasure to another one, I'd either enjoy the voyeurism of it thinking to myself "Oh boy, I'm next" :D or I'd find a way to partially include myself, yet not distract the pleasure being given the other woman.

 

For instance, assuming the other woman is sucking one guy and fucking the other, I'd be inclined to be brushing my hands over one or both of the other guys from time to time, planting kisses on them (assuming their mouths weren't occupied with the other woman's muff), and generally walking around to be a part of the action, yet again, not interfering with the other woman's pleasure. When it was my turn, I wouldn't be offended if she did the same.

 

Or would I be considered a selfish little hussy who just couldn't wait her turn? ;) What would your reaction be, you lucky women who've had the MFM routine done while perhaps another woman was present?

 

I love this board, I learn something new every day!

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:rofl: Don't you wonder what all of those females have to do that keeps them so occupied while their hubbys are out playing? :rofl:

 

:rofl: Unfortunately, I think the answer might be "raising the children" ... which makes me want to head bang and also _____

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I'd find a way to partially include myself, yet not distract the pleasure being given the other woman.

 

For instance, assuming the other woman is sucking one guy and fucking the other, I'd be inclined to be brushing my hands over one or both of the other guys from time to time, planting kisses on them (assuming their mouths weren't occupied with the other woman's muff), and generally walking around to be a part of the action, yet again, not interfering with the other woman's pleasure. When it was my turn, I wouldn't be offended if she did the same.

 

SexHoundDog, the MFMF scenario you suggest above is exactly right ... and very fun! (You did a much better job of describing it than I did, in my reply. Ooohlala :D )

 

As for the voyeuristic aspect, this is only our experience mind you ... but the ladies we meet have all been "doers" not "watchers" primarily. I don't think this is unusual, though: men are widely reputed to be the more visually stimulated of the two sexes.

 

Or would I be considered a selfish little hussy who just couldn't wait her turn? ;) What would your reaction be, you lucky women who've had the MFM routine done while perhaps another woman was present?

 

I wouldn't consider a woman selfish who did that ... not at all. I'd encourage it. Mr. D2S and some of our playpartners can last a long time, so only watching might lose it's appeal.

 

For me, because I'm not much of a "watcher" myself, I'd feel like I was being a poor hostess if the other lady felt she could only watch, and not interact with either or both of the men. So full swap, with some time spent in a MFMF scenario like you describe above, works for us the best. :D

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I'd like to thank all for such positive and honest answers, especially Denver2some and GoodTimes. My wife absolutely will not touch another in a sexual way and expects the same respect. Okay, so she's a minority. We can live with that.

Cheers.

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Why is the 'issue' about straight women? It is never a prob to be a straight male (of nearly all the swingers I know, the males are straight), why would it be when your a straight woman?

 

I understand what is said here (good and interesting posts :D lol), but do straight men have a problem, or feel left out? What's the difference?

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Thanks Wildwife for that last comment - we concur!

 

As for the basic question -

First off - setting the boundaries is important, and anyone not willing to play bo the rules you set isn't for you. Having said that - where is the creative thinking here??? There is plenty for the second woman to do aside from nail filing and watching. Most pussies can only accomodate one cock at a time -- so there's opportunity there. There's always kissing, ball stroking, tag-team blow jobs, the sexual cong line -- come on ladies, you're swingers - think outside the box! Let's face it, when you swing, you live a little outside the box already.

 

As for feeling selfish for getting involved -- well that's what threesomes with single males are made for - if we're with a couple, we assume that everyone is there to play, and there is room for everyone on the bed/couch/floor. As for me (Mrs. Openva), I'm what I call bi-curious-light (which is similar to playfully adaptive) so I don't take offense to accidental touching. Straight females who play with couples should expect a little accidentalness (just like straight men in the situation) so like what was said above, ignore it and move on. Look for somewhere to fit in - a free hand, an unoccupied cock, a tounge with nothing to do - use your imagination.

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