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coolcouple51

Younger people in the lifestyle

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We are a couple in our mid 20s who is trying to get started in the swinging lifestyle. We have had threesomes and sex in the same room with other couples. We have been talking for quite a while and really want to take the next step. We started a swing lifestyle profile and are trying to meet people. Our question is are there couples close to our own age(21 to early 30s) out there? A lot of the profiles we see seem like fakes. We are not really sure if we are ready to go to a club. Even most of the events in our area seem to be all couples in there 40+.

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The average age in the Lifestyle is 43 at this time.

 

You will find some of the younger crowd but you will have to search them out. You will tend to find more in their 30's then in the 20's though.

 

Just going to be a case of searching since there is not a great number of people in their 20's active in the Lifestyle.

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Yeah were starting to realize this. All you old peeps are out there having all the fun! J/k I agree, I just think we will need to be more proactive.

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I checked locally and located quite a few in your age group. Actually, about 50% more in your than ours! Maybe it is the same in your area... that suggests that they are out there, somewhere....

 

Anyway, I think you may *want* to try a club, since it seems the younger you are, the more likely you are frequenting the clubs. Bear in mind that "No means NO!" and that you can go there just to look and assess, rather that be expected to play.

 

Be patient and just go looking.... they probably won't come to you, you'll have to find out where they are....

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All you old peeps are out there having all the fun! J/k I agree, I just think we will need to be more proactive.

 

While you are out trying to be more proactive, I do recomend you not use the term, "All you old peeps," when talking to people.

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While you are out trying to be more proactive, I do recomend you not use the term, "All you old peeps," when talking to people.

 

I think the "J/K" he threw in there covers that. ;)

 

We've noticed an up-tick in the number of younger swingers since we started several years ago. Those of us in our 30's/40's still dominate the scene though.

 

If you'll hang in there Coolcouple51, your peer group will catch up with you in 10 or 15 years. Then of course, you'll be the experienced couple that everyone comes to for advice. :)

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You will find swingers your age, but that age group is in the minority. The plus to being your age is that you have years to grow in to the majority. Lots of time ahead of you.

 

You live in a great area for swinging.

 

Welcome to the Board!

 

LM

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We have seen some on sls but a lot of those profiles seem fake to us. We are not very big club people to be honest. W are thinking about going to a couple of events/parties but were waiting to see if anyone our age is going. Its not that we don't like people older than us. We actually get along better with people older than better than those my own age. It just we are not necesarily sexually attracted to people in that age group. And yes I did mean old "peeps" as a joke. Although it is true that you do seem to know how to have a good time from what I read;-)

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We have seen some on Swing Lifestyle but a lot of those profiles seem fake to us.
It would not be surprising if a good number of them were single guys creating couples or bi-fem profiles, but all you can do is send some emails and see what the response is. Press for a voice verification and/or meeting at a bar or restaurant sooner than later.
We are not very big club people to be honest. W are thinking about going to a couple of events/parties but were waiting to see if anyone our age is going. Its not that we don't like people older than us. We actually get along better with people older than better than those my own age. It just we are not necesarily sexually attracted to people in that age group. And yes I did mean old "peeps" as a joke. Although it is true that you do seem to know how to have a good time from what I read;-)
Well, if you actually get along with older people better, why not go ahead and go, with the only expectation being to have a fun time visiting? If some people show up that you are attracted to, all the better! If it is a party of any size, even if there aren't any 20-something's, you'll likely be surprised at how young some of the 30-somethings are (both at heart, and in appearance).

 

C&M

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Were I in your position I would go to the clubs or parties. Most club or event sign-ups like the ones on SLS, rarely include even half the folks that will actually show up to the event. We have also noticed that the younger folks that do show up at the clubs rarely sign up that they are going to attend before hand. In fact, while I would say their are at least a few under 30 folks that attend the club 4 out of 5 nights we go, we have never seen one sign up, they just showed up.

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Lee, Do you have a source for the average age data? I have not been able to find anything that would be definitive or verifiable. The EJHS study from 2000 said that the average was 39, but that study was hardly completely scientific nor definitive in its methods, even if it did give some interesting info.

 

Thanks

Tom

 

 

The average age in the Lifestyle is 43 at this time.

 

You will find some of the younger crowd but you will have to search them out. You will tend to find more in their 30's then in the 20's though.

 

Just going to be a case of searching since there is not a great number of people in their 20's active in the Lifestyle.

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Lee, Do you have a source for the average age data? I have not been able to find anything that would be definitive or verifiable. The EJHS study from 2000 said that the average was 39, but that study was hardly completely scientific nor definitive in its methods, even if it did give some interesting info.

 

Thanks

Tom

 

Well, nothing that I would call scientific at all. Here is what we have done over the last 15 years.

 

We own a few "Lifestyle" type web sites and forums that have been on the Internet since 1995 that we keep polls running on and let people tell us their ages. There is also a long running thread here on Swingers Board that I started years ago about ages.

 

At conventions we used to pass our questioners about things including ages and collect them. We also see 800 to 1000 people a week at the club for 28 years now.

 

In 2000 I would say that 39 to 40 would have been the right number. The group has got older though as the years go by. Considering 10 years and the average age has only gone up about three years that is about right.

 

Using the Internet is not a great way to do it. No way of proving if anyone is telling you the truth. Even at the conventions people just filled out the forms and dropped them in a box so can not say those are 100% either.

 

At the club we don't ask for I.D. unless someone appears underage so I can not prove the ages given there either but I think we have a pretty good fill for it with all the people and years involved.

 

Since most people don't tend to get into the Lifestyle until some time in their 30's and many of us have been around for 30+ years, the age keeps moving up slowly. ;)

 

Yes, us old peeps have the experience and time on our side to have the fun. :lol:

 

It really is to bad that I am not into the 20 something ladies, I get more of that offered to me now then I did when I was a 20 something. :D

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Well, if you actually get along with older people better, why not go ahead and go, with the only expectation being to have a fun time visiting? If some people show up that you are attracted to, all the better! If it is a party of any size, even if there aren't any 20-something's, you'll likely be surprised at how young some of the 30-somethings are (both at heart, and in appearance).

 

C&M

 

We have thought about it and looked at some couples in there 30s. But the better half doesn't want to go much older than thirty right now. We kinda want to get started with people our own age.

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I think one of the major divisions in swinging is club vs not club. Being not club people, we identify with you not being big club people. You'll get much advice saying visit a club. If you're not club people, that advice is not much help.

 

I began swinging in my early twenties and now I'm in my late 50's. Don't worry, you'll find people your age, but the finding has always been more work than you imagine. It depends on how picky you are and how friendship oriented. I've never been a casual fuck sort of person, nor is my wife, so we are a bit more picky.

 

So my advice is patience and dilligence. It will take time and effort to find people that are both your age AND ones you're hot to play with. The wider your tolerances to both age and hot, the easier it will be to find a fit.

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We have been on the lifestyle less than a year, and we are dead on VegasLee's average age. We only went to our first club party recently (it was great I might add) but we saw a wide range of ages, from mid 20's to mid 60+. I have seen comments that make me think different cities/regions have some variation in terms of swinger demographics, but not much. I am sure there are couples out there that fit what you are looking for if you are patient.

 

That said, when we started, we had parameters and tons of rules. It did not take long for us to start dropping both. We dropped parameters because we found people of all types that we just flat out liked and thought were sexy. (We dropped many of the rules because we realized they were just plain ridiculous.) So, just get out there and start meeting people, without preconceptions, and without the concept that everyone you meet will end up being a playmate. We have made a lot of friends, many we will likely not play with, for various reasons and frankly we wouldn't have the time for that many playmates. But one of the pleasant things we have found is that friends we have made gladly introduce us to other friends and sometime they are a match for us.

 

In short it is great to have a large circle of friends regardless of how many playmates you want. And the larger the circle of friends the greater chance you will find playmates.

 

Edit: Oh, and I meant to say about clubs. We made more friends in a single night than we do in several weeks online. It is just easier face to face, at least for us.

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First let me start by saying welcome to the Board and WELCOME to the Lifestyle! My husband and I started swinging a few years ago, I am now 26 and he is 30. I don't see that our age has ever been an issue but I have seen some older individuals question the "stability" and "maturity" of younger couples. The fact that you are out seeking more information and advise says to me that you are indeed mature and for that I give you kudos! Good luck on your future endeavors and remember to not worry so much about what other people think. As long as you and your partner are in this together and you keep the lines of communication wide open, you will be just fine!

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We are also a couple in our mid twenties, not really into the club scene and trying to figure out where to start. Online sites seem a bit daunting...lots of fakes you can tell. Plus it's weird because you never really know if they are who/what they say they are on those online ads.

 

Maybe it's a new trend, younger people joining the lifestyle?

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couple4couple: There are a couple of websites we can recommend to you if you would like, SwingLifeStyle (SLS) and AdultFriendFinder (AFF) are the ones we use. SLS offers a lot of stuff to free members if you want to just check it out for a little while. They have lots of locals and it is easy to use. There aren't a lot of fakes cause they get reported and blocked. Also we always email for a little while, then either webcam/video chat or talk on the phone before we agree to meet anyone. Always meet in a public place and don't give out any of your person info to anyone you don't know.

 

Best of luck to you both!

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First let me start by saying welcome to the Board and WELCOME to the Lifestyle! My husband and I started swinging a few years ago, I am now 26 and he is 30. I don't see that our age has ever been an issue but I have seen some older individuals question the "stability" and "maturity" of younger couples. The fact that you are out seeking more information and advise says to me that you are indeed mature and for that I give you kudos! Good luck on your future endeavors and remember to not worry so much about what other people think. As long as you and your partner are in this together and you keep the lines of communication wide open, you will be just fine!

 

Thank you very much for the compliment. We are trying to go about this the right way and ask the right questions. We have chatted with a few couples on sls who seem to be very nice and fun. However we have had a LOT of trouble with people standing us up or jerking us around. So we can totally relate with the opinion that people our age are kind of immature. We have been looking at and talking to more couples in there 30s. We haven't given up on the 20somethings but we have realized we can't really count on them either.

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Thank you very much for the compliment. We are trying to go about this the right way and ask the right questions. We have chatted with a few couples on Swing Lifestyle who seem to be very nice and fun. However we have had a LOT of trouble with people standing us up or jerking us around. So we can totally relate with the opinion that people our age are kind of immature. We have been looking at and talking to more couples in there 30s. We haven't given up on the 20somethings but we have realized we can't really count on them either.

 

We have started meeting couples for our first M&G at social parties. More by default than by planning. We just have too little time as it is to waste on a no show. Besides we can meet a couple, if it works out great, if not then we both have opportunities to chat with current friends or make new ones. We are not opposed to individual M&G with a couples, but we generally chat for a period of time before we do that. That way we can see if there is a real interest on both parts and find out if they are for real.

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We just have too little time as it is to waste on a no show.

 

Even worse are the ones that show up and look NOTHING like their pictures in their profile. :eek:

 

The great thing about the clubs/socials/house parties is that pictures lie and nothing beats seeing them in person. We have often found that some people who we initially did not feel an attraction from their profile, were actually much more attractive in person. Personality counts for quite a bit sometimes and that is very hard to convey in written form.

 

I'll also second that we are "dead on" with the age range VegasLee stated. We are both 42 and are only months away from hitting 43. We have been in the lifestyle for just over a year.

 

I think that younger people are a lot more sexually open and adventurous than we were at your age which is why so many more are joining the sites.

 

You will always have fakes and wannabe's and just a part of the lifestyle you have to deal with. The socials/clubs/house parties .. you know they are real :D

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*Raises hand*

 

Another mid-20's couple here. I hear we're out there, but I wonder if there are more who are either doing it privately (more like an open relationship) and/or going to clubs rather than signing up with online sites. At any rate, most of the offers we get online come from the 40+ demographic.

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Even worse are the ones that show up and look NOTHING like their pictures in their profile. :eek:

 

The great thing about the clubs/socials/house parties is that pictures lie and nothing beats seeing them in person. We have often found that some people who we initially did not feel an attraction from their profile, were actually much more attractive in person. Personality counts for quite a bit sometimes and that is very hard to convey in written form.

 

I'll also second that we are "dead on" with the age range VegasLee stated. We are both 42 and are only months away from hitting 43. We have been in the lifestyle for just over a year.

 

I think that younger people are a lot more sexually open and adventurous than we were at your age which is why so many more are joining the sites.

 

You will always have fakes and wannabe's and just a part of the lifestyle you have to deal with. The socials/clubs/house parties .. you know they are real :D

 

I hear you. In fact it has also gone the other way for us. We met a couple at a party we liked. We got back and looked at their profile. We wanted to tell them they need to change the pics because they DO NOT do them justice. We had passed them by online on more than once.

 

The ones that I think are funny are the ones that post a weight then a full body pic where the weights couldn't match, at least not at earths gravity. Why lie about the weight, we see you, just be honest.

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*Raises hand*

 

Another mid-20's couple here. I hear we're out there, but I wonder if there are more who are either doing it privately (more like an open relationship) and/or going to clubs rather than signing up with online sites. At any rate, most of the offers we get online come from the 40+ demographic.

 

I work with people of all ages and one thing I have noticed, some of my younger coworkers will have all kinds of group sex, FWB, etc., but don't call it swinging. There seems to be a stigma with them associated with with word if not the act. They regularly "hook up" and swap partners but are adamant that it is not swinging. Maybe that is why you see so few on sites. Go figure.

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*Raises hand*

 

Another mid-20's couple here. I hear we're out there, but I wonder if there are more who are either doing it privately (more like an open relationship) and/or going to clubs rather than signing up with online sites.

I think many mid-20's couples are doing it privately and not even considering it swinging.

 

When we were in our 20's there were numerous opportunities to explore sex with our friends, but we weren't in that mindset at the time. We did not know the word "swinger" back then and they never used the term. Sex with others wasn't something we were seeking. None of them asked us to participate, and we wondered about that at the time, but I think I know why; we weren't sending out the vibe that we were into it, and they were all keen enough to know not to go there with us. We were okay with the idea of couples sharing, and I think because they could see that, they remained friends. We were friends for about 10 years (until everyone moved away) and spent time with a number of different groups who, we believe, never looked for sex through formal swinger avenues. They let it happen naturally with friends...and friends of friends...and people they stumbled upon at concerts or bars or art events...anywhere people gathered.

 

There is something nice about that approach, and we've had a taste of it in recent years since stepping away from swinger ad sites and swinger clubs.

 

LM

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I work with people of all ages and one thing I have noticed, some of my younger coworkers will have all kinds of group sex, FWB, etc., but don't call it swinging. There seems to be a stigma with them associated with with word if not the act. They regularly "hook up" and swap partners but are adamant that it is not swinging. Maybe that is why you see so few on sites. Go figure.

 

::Puts on glasses, gets pad and paper:: And...um...where did you say you work? ;)

 

Of the very few vanilla people who know about our new lifestyle, one told us "Oh, yeah, I've talked to some other young couples that are doing that now." We laughed and said "Really, do you have their names and numbers?" :D

 

They let it happen naturally with friends...and friends of friends...and people they stumbled upon at concerts or bars or art events...anywhere people gathered.

 

There is something nice about that approach, and we've had a taste of it in recent years since stepping away from swinger ad sites and swinger clubs.

 

I think I need some new friends! The idea of this sounds great, a tight-knit group of friends sharing their sexuality openly with each other, mixing the bonds of friendship with no strings attached sex. But the friends that we have who are in relationships have all settled in to the point of becoming recluses. My wife is gorgeous and has plenty of very close single guy friends that are interested in her, though. Now if they only had girlfriends who were open to the idea... :cool:

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