My girlfriend wants to do it without any protection

Hello! After a while in the swinger world, my gf and I talked about doing it without any protection in order to be more adventurous. I don't know if I'm going to accept it or not... I'm so confused right now.

I have no idea why anyone would swing bareback. STDs are nasty.

If they inhibit your erection, use Cialis or Viagra.

I understand. It's dangerous but the people would be from our trust and they would be tested for that. The only problem is watching her being "wild". I like it but at the same time not...

No. She'd never do it even if I wanted her to, and I don't. Even our regular play partners, we trust them but know they do their own thing and that accidents happen. No need for that.

I understand. It's dangerous but the people would be from our trust and they would be tested for that. The only problem is watching her being "wild". I like it but at the same time not...

 

We like our play friends, we trust our play friends. They (different couples) have reported to us contracting HPV, HSV, chlamydia and gonnorhea while swinging. We will continue to play with condoms with the realization that they are not perfect. Even if someone has STD test results, they are moot the day after they play with someone else. Caveat emptor.

Gaga, it's your life . . . literally. Do as you wish, accept the risks. If things turn out badly, remember you asked for it.

Even if we KNEW that there was NO CHANCE of catching anything (while we're too old for this but it includes 'catching' a baby) we wouldn't go without a condom. We look condoms as a physical barrier but also an emotional barrier. It keeps what we do as 'more special' with each other and keeps other partners a bit more 'removed'.

In the end the lifestyle is what you make of it. How you....and your partner decide to define who and to what level you will be involved. Communication....trust....will define your mutual interests and your participation. What you choose should be for you. What others may choose are for them. You do not have to meet their choices and they do not have to meet yours. As a matter of choice, you choose to play with someone, couple or group you do so by talking and agreeing with boundaries. Or you choose not to and not join with them. Choice. All based on communication. Smaller closed groups or regular parties/gatherings with a higher repeat of regulars are much different then the large parties or public clubs/events. In the final analysis you are not required to do or participate in anything. As others are not. Choice, communication.....trust.

I understand. It's dangerous but the people would be from our trust and they would be tested for that. The only problem is watching her being "wild". I like it but at the same time not...

 

Would they be tested 30 minutes before meeting with your gf?....do you get it?....is your relationship with your gf serious? because honestly if one of my meaningful GFS had suggested that, I would not have considered her life partner or a woman to have kids with material. its a completely stupid and irresponsible suggestion.

Not to mention the effects on a child so conceived.

.. We look condoms as a physical barrier but also an emotional barrier. It keeps what we do as 'more special' with each other and keeps other partners a bit more 'removed'.

That's precisely why we don't use condoms. Both the men and women like to feel the flow of an ejaculation inside her, whichever opening that may be. We also jointly have no rules against kissing, anal, alone play. We see the emotional connections as a plus.

 

We are all comfortable with this because we only play with a closed group of other couples. Could someone cheat? Perhaps, but we have a lot of trust among us and agree that anyone can back off anytime, no questions even by a spouse. Plus it's less likely anyone would cheat simply because there is so much opportunity for fun within our group. For instance, one pair of non-spouses occasionally gets together alone for their mutual interest in BDSM, which no one else is into.

Hello! After a while in the swinger world,my gf and I talked about doing it without any protection in order to be more adventurous. I dont know if I'm going to accept it or not... I'm so confused right now

 

It would be a bad idea if she can get pregnant.

 

My wife prefers bareback. Skin on skin. We understand the risks of STD's. I let her make that call. We usually play with people we have met or have been recommended by her girlfriends.

We only have condomless sex with our very closest friends, these are 2 regular couples, people that we trust for years.

 

On one occasion I had condomless sex with a coworker which I worked for about 3 years he is a man with family and very serious and responsible,I discussed it with my husband and we felt no need for condoms with him.

 

Almost 10 years since we started swinging and I have only had 4 men penetrated me without a condom that is including my husband.

 

We feel pretty safe compared to many single people living "regular sexual lives"

Hello! First of all, thanks for all your answers. We did it last week and I can tell you that it was amazing. There were no barriers and my gf told me at the beginning that if I wanted to stop for any reason they would have done it. The climate was intense and she absolutely loved it. The beginning was kinda difficult to handle it due to some emotions and stress but I was able to get over and enjoyed it too! We think we will repeat it in the future.

... The beggining was kinda difficult to handle it due to some emocional and stress but I was able to get over and enjoyed it too! We think we will repeat it in the future

Eventually you will crave the feeling.

Did you have reclaiming sex afterwards? Enjoy sloppy seconds? How was that?

Hi Numex. She told me that she was a bit tired but if I wanted to we could do it... and we did it. My thoughts were like: I have to be better than him... but I didn't last long... they smiled and said that it was okay. She thanked me for what she had done. For me it was amazing... even though it was a short period of time

I guess that is a personal decision but I cannot for the life of me understand why you would subject yourself to STD’s. Please remember how rampant HPV is and yes it affects men too. In fact both men and women transmit the disease. However women are the only ones to get cervical cancer so be sure to get routine Pap smears. Believe it or not HPV can live dormant in your cervix for decades and then decide to rear its ugly head.

 

It is also responsible for many oral cancers. So basically a condom helps but this lifestyle puts us all at much greater risk of infection with this virus.

 

So I think for the benefit of yourself and all the rest of us, please use protection.

It's totally up to you and her to decide (well, assuming your playmates want to swing bareback too). Yes, there are some risks, no doubt about it. What level of risk it is, and what level you are comfortable with, only you two can decide.

 

But, and maybe more to the heart of your question really, it needs to be something you decide together. It sounds like you have now done that. Just be sure though you are totally ok with that and don't let the extra fun and excitement cloud your judgment. It's great now, but let's say a test came back positive, are you going to turn around and blame her and it hurt your relationship? Not saying you will, and not trying to change your decision, just saying that so far the decision hasn't been put through the crucible of the bad happening, just the good. Honestly, odds are, the bad won't ever happen, but it can, so you just need to be prepared for that.

Is everyone from Canada preachy?? To use condoms or not is a personal choice. I think most people KNOW the risks of std transmission. They chose to accept the risk. If you don't, that is your choice. Don't play with people who do. That is your choice too. Wagging an electronic finger at someone over this is smug and presumptuous.

..We feel pretty safe compared to many single people living "regular sexual lives"

Not only that, we feel safe compared to "monogamous" married people who have less variety and a much greater urge to cheat than we and our play partners do.

My GF hates condoms. She always performs oral sex without a condom but we started with always using condoms for pussy and anal sex. We still stick with that rule except for a couple of my really close buddies and her boss at work who she has known for a while. Even though we still have that rule it has been broken. Not everyone is 100% perfect all the time and mistakes get made. There have been a few drunken times where she has met someone and not used a condom. We both get tested regularly and so far very fortunate neither of us have caught anything.

No one likes condoms. And no one likes HSV, HPV and venereal disease. Keep in mind that even with condom use, it is not completely effective against STDs. Get tested at least annually.

We don’t have a real rule. All of meetings start with oral and we have never used any protection during oral. The odds of catching most STDs are lower with oral, not zero. I know there are dental dams used even though I have never seen one. I have never been stopped during oral by someone who wanted protection.

I have always left it up to the man if he wanted to to use a condom, I don’t feel much of a difference. Michael will at times put one on without being asked and won’t hesitate if asked to put one one. Normally on second meetings we already know how the other couples want to play.

All sex has risk and if you aren’t ready for bare sex don’t do it.

Even I don't like wearing at all.. But its necessary.