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  1. #1

    Question Swinging and Churchgoers/Religion (not what you might think)

    Assuming that everyone on this forum is actively in the lifestyle, Mrs. C and I are curious about how many here that are active churchgoers (no need to identify a particular religion or church affiliation)? We had both read several years earlier, before our entry into the LS, that those who subscribe to the Evangelical ('holy roller') belief system tended to be more satisfied with their sexual relations in marriage. I think there had even been a study done that seemed to confirm this (not that it matters). We are people of faith ourselves, but we do not see anything in Scripture that says that swinging is wrong- quite the opposite, actually. We have read a VERY interesting book that supports our beliefs on this, but we wonder if there are others who consider themselves believers and are still participating in the lifestyle. (PLEASE NOTE: we are not proselytizing here, just wanting to hear from others in the same mindset.)


  2. #2

    Default Re: Swinging and Churchgoers/Religion (not what you might think)

    We are believers, and we are not going to justify what we do as right or wrong (we don't consider it adultery, although many will argue this), but we feel it's not that big of a deal. Without delving into to much detail, we simply say that the experience has brought us closer and strengthened our marriage.

    You can use the Bible to argue just about anyone's point of view on the subject, whether you are against it or for it.

    let him who is without sin cast the first stone.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Swinging and Churchgoers/Religion (not what you might think)

    There have been several threads on this in the past:

    https://www.swingersboard.com/curiou...light=religion

    https://www.swingersboard.com/polls-...light=religion

    https://www.swingersboard.com/swinge...light=religion

    There are several more but these are ones that I recall from fairly recent times. Heck, if you do any research about the 'lost books of the Bible' you will find out that there are dozens of books that have been included and excluded from the Bible over time. One other site that I have kept bookmarked is this:

    Monogamy Isn't Biblical, It's Roman

    I always wondered why the Old Testament had men marrying multiple wives and then it just stopped in the New Testament. This explains alot of the why.

    Bottom line is we both believe in God and are religious, but we also believe that whatever anyone else believes in, as long as it makes them a better person and doesn't hurt others, is a good thing and should be allowed and encouraged. I would hate to be in front of the gates of heaven only to see Buddha or Allah or The Great Spirit was the 'right' God and have Him tell us 'you picked the wrong God...sorry, you are out'. I believe that this won't happen, but at the same time believe that God wouldn't be so religious exclusive (only one 'right' religion and everyone else goes to Hell). Most organized religion teaches 'be a good person and be nice to everyone else'...we do our best to adhere to this although we identify ourselves as Christian. Swinging is something that we do TOGETHER in the light, not behind the back of our SO in the dark. It doesn't 'hurt' either one of us and we do our best not to allow it to hurt anyone else. We don't see where it goes against our 'makes them a better person and doesn't hurt others' belief so we don't have a conflict or issue with the two. We try, as instructed by the Bible, not to judge others and keep our stone casting in check.

    Sorry, but I was brought up in a strict religious household and I have spent a great deal of time wrestling with this subject. I'll just shut up now...for a few minutes at least.
    If you donít have to lie about sex, you donít have to lie about anything. - John Williamson

  4. #4

    Default Re: Swinging and Churchgoers/Religion (not what you might think)

    Quote Originally Posted by GoldCoCouple View Post

    I always wondered why the Old Testament had men marrying multiple wives and then it just stopped in the New Testament.
    When the Roman Emperor Constantine brought the Council of Niacea together in 325AD with the purpose of assembling a book (The Bible) for the Christian Church, which he had legalized, he wanted the new religion's mores to be close enough to the Roman belief system it was replacing that the Romans would readily accept it.

    Women in the Roman Empire were one step above slaves in status. They sat in the upper tiers of the Coliseum while men sat in the lower ones where the view was better. There were many other ways women were "kept in line." Constantine wanted to keep it that way, so he included the Epistles of Saul of Tarsus while not including The Gospel of Mary Magdalene. Jesus gave women a high standing in his movement while Constantine wanted to suppress such ideas.

    It was at this point, in my opinion, that the Christian Church departed from the teachings of The Man From Galilee.
    "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it." óWill Rogers

    "Swingin' Down to Tulsa," a novel by the Aluras. Read a free sample Here

  5. #5

    Default Re: Swinging and Churchgoers/Religion (not what you might think)

    Quote Originally Posted by GoldCoCouple View Post
    I always wondered why the Old Testament had men marrying multiple wives and then it just stopped in the New Testament. This explains alot of the why.
    It's basically right on point, as Alura mentions. The gap in time between the Old Testament and the New Testament is several thousand years, and raising legitimate offspring with a single official wife in the Hellenic tradition was the ambient social norm in the time of Jesus - although the use of female slaves and the keeping of concubines was routine.

    The Church went on to officially tolerate wife-snatching, sex slavery, and concubinage until well into the Middle Ages. Even then, people scoffed.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Swinging and Churchgoers/Religion (not what you might think)

    Quote Originally Posted by Alura View Post
    It was at this point, in my opinion, that the Christian Church departed from the teachings of The Man From Galilee.
    Well, let's also not forget the influence of Augustine of Hippo, a notorious sex fiend by his own accounts (read his Confessions) who was also instrumental in enshrining the whole "sex is evil" into Christian dogma, simply because he couldn't keep it in his pants and felt guilty about it.

    Paul and Augustine, two of the top historical figures I would very like to punch in the face.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Swinging and Churchgoers/Religion (not what you might think)

    We read a book very recently called "Divine Sex: Liberating Sex From Religious Tradition" that was a real eye-opener. It is written by an evangelical pastor of some 36 years, highly respected in his field, and he refutes the modern religious dogma regarding sex outside of marriage, swinging, homosexuality, etc. by going back to the original documents and clearing up the eons of caked-on erroneous translations and bad intentions from religious leaders. We've had some discussions with others in the church who have disagreed or agreed at various levels with the LS, and this book has been invaluable. You can get the book on Amazon; I highly recommend it. We first heard about it a few weeks ago on a blog written by a swinging couple who are Mormons, very active in their church but also (discreetly) very active swingers.

    What we believe, essentially, is that if both parties in the marriage are agreeable to it and participating, then it's not adultery and therefore acceptable. And hella fun, too!

  8. #8

    Default Re: Swinging and Churchgoers/Religion (not what you might think)

    All I can say is AMEN and I do mean that. People that love the Lord are great lovers and friends. I thank others for learning much about the history. Very interesting!

  9. #9

    Default Re: Swinging and Churchgoers/Religion (not what you might think)

    Quote Originally Posted by Funguy796 View Post
    All I can say is AMEN and I do mean that. People that love the Lord are great lovers and friends. I thank others for learning much about the history. Very interesting!
    Thank you! Although as I said, not looking to proselytize and no disrespect to those who believe something different. Heavy religious indoctrination about sex can be a difficult thing to overcome even in a monogamous setting. I know plenty of vanilla couples who struggle with shame over sex with their own spouse. So sad to be so much in bondage.


  10. #10

    Default Re: Swinging and Churchgoers/Religion (not what you might think)

    Quote Originally Posted by TXswingers65 View Post
    Thank you! Although as I said, not looking to proselytize and no disrespect to those who believe something different. Heavy religious indoctrination about sex can be a difficult thing to overcome even in a monogamous setting. I know plenty of vanilla couples who struggle with shame over sex with their own spouse. So sad to be so much in bondage.
    And not the good kind of bondage...

  11. #11

    Default Re: Swinging and Churchgoers/Religion (not what you might think)

    Quote Originally Posted by TXswingers65 View Post
    Assuming that everyone on this forum is actively in the lifestyle, Mrs. C and I are curious about how many here that are active churchgoers (no need to identify a particular religion or church affiliation)?
    Very much so. At church pretty much every Sunday when we aren't out of town at a club or party, about once a month.

  12. #12

    Default Re: Swinging and Churchgoers/Religion (not what you might think)

    Well it's good to know that we're not in the extreme minority LOL. And I agree with you wholeheartedly, Funguy. People who love God seem to be more giving and sensual lovers, and better friends. Dan, like you we're in church pretty much every weekend. before we entered the LS, I was actually in church most of the weekend because I taught Children's Church. Mrs. C and I have been in volunteer ministry within our church for over 20 years. (not bragging, mind you; but some would say how ironic it is that I was so dedicated within the church and yet now so active in an 'ungodly' lifestyle.)

  13. #13

    Default Re: Swinging and Churchgoers/Religion (not what you might think)

    Quote Originally Posted by TXswingers65 View Post
    I was actually in church most of the weekend because I taught Children's Church. Mrs. C and I have been in volunteer ministry within our church for over 20 years. (not bragging, mind you; but some would say how ironic it is that I was so dedicated within the church and yet now so active in an 'ungodly' lifestyle.)
    You're correct, many would say it's ironic...I would say I can think at least two members here who were full time ministers. Sadly, both have moved on from this site, so no idea whether they still are or not (lifestyle and/or ministry), but it's more common than you think.

    Final story...we got a contact one time on SLS. Not the brightest of fellows, he included his email that was partially made up of his name, and he had opened his pics. Mrs. cplnuswing recognized him as the minister (part-time) of a small church in the area. Married too, but no mention of that in the SLS message, said he was single male.
    Not all those who wander are lost

  14. #14

    Default Re: Swinging and Churchgoers/Religion (not what you might think)

    Over the centuries the Christian church , both denominational and non-denominational, is a business. Avery big business. The product they sell is salvation. Their marketing is based on the tried and true reward and fear concepts used by so many successful businesses. To get buy in by their customers they establish rues which are aimed at controlling the customer. The price they charge is based on customer income and not their cost of goods. Since males have historically controlled the income, males have been treated better than females. Not to mention males set up the rules. The church's attitude about sex is just part of these controlling rules.

    Setting aside the "Church", what does it mean to be a Christian? I believe there are a few simple rules in the teaching of Jesus. In terms of human interaction, the primary one we know as the Golden Rule - Do unto others as you would have them do to you. The LS conforms to this rule. In my opinion there is nothing unchristian in practicing the Lifestyle.

  15. #15

    Default Re: Swinging and Churchgoers/Religion (not what you might think)

    Let us invite all who are interested in religion and swinging to recall this bit of prose from Mark Twain, see especially Letter VIII.

    Mr. Samuel Clemens would have made a helluva swinger.

  16. #16

    Default Re: Swinging and Churchgoers/Religion (not what you might think)

    Quote Originally Posted by Fundamental Law View Post
    Let us invite all who are interested in religion and swinging to recall this bit of prose from Mark Twain, see especially Letter VIII.

    Mr. Samuel Clemens would have made a helluva swinger.
    Thank you Fundamental law, that was quite an interesting read. Really never knew that Samuel Clemmons was such a Hedonist. He certainly seemed to march to the beat of his own drummer, but certainly provided some food for thought.

  17. #17

    Default Re: Swinging and Churchgoers/Religion (not what you might think)

    My fairly strict, very old-fashioned Catholic upbringing, especially the attitude towards women, made me quietly rebellious, particularly about sex. But as the quote says, "I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty."


  18. #18

    Default Re: Swinging and Churchgoers/Religion (not what you might think)

    Some of our close swinging friends were met in church. It was/is amazing just how many swingers you can find in a church setting.

    Our view is cool comfortable of sharing together, and only sharing with married couples in the same marriage.
    We do not covet their relationship or one of them. We have a relationship that is deeply committed and has been one in marriage and in church as a union for 50+years.

    With our church friends in certain conversations (more than once), adultery became a discussion point with the "coveting" driver as the root sin. So when the actors perform sex without the underlying driver of "coveting," it can open up discussions that yield tell tale body/facial/word responses that suggest paths for deeper conversations with some.

    Of course, the response of someone messes with my mom ole lady gets shot really is a conversation changer (LOL)

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