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A Return to our First experience

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We are no longer new to the lifestyle. Our new lifestyle changed over a year ago on a cruise ship. We have remained friends with the couple we first took the plunge with. We have expanded our experiences with several other couples. I still enjoy a one on on e in different a room. Maybe it's a self consciousness. I have also allowed myself to be with another woman.

Our friends suggested going to Hedonism, My husband was for it. I am not ready for that, I don't think. Then we talked about a lifestyle cruise. I checked and Celebrity has them. Think it is Bliss who puts it together. I sead why can't we just go back on a cruiseand maybe stop in St Maartan, just like we did when we met. I hoped to recreate our first time and I do enjoy being with them. I joked about swapping partners for the whole cruise. We booked the cruise, us in a balcony room. Our friends got a suite, which is out of our budget. The talk was about finding other couples to join us. I wasn't thrilled but said sure. Our friends are on a forum for cruisers. Very G rated board. It's a board to share cruising ideas, meet couples who want to share excursions or taxis. I checked the board, there is no sex talk and one of the TOS is all posts are family friendly. My friend answered a request for sharing a ride to the beach we went to last time. I think they swapped emails. They were a newlywed couple from Alabama.

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Interesting story but I am not really sure why you want to recreate the original experience? I mean I loved losing my virginity but am not really into re-creating it. Now that you have expanded your horizons, what concerns do you have?

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I can say categorically that I would NEVER want to repeat my first experience in swinging. Because to say it was unpleasant would be a huge understatement.

 

One day I got an email, which was an invitation to a swingers party. I mentioned it to my girlfriend (at that time), "Hey, we've been invited to a swinger party. Wanna go?", mainly as a joke. But much to my surprise she says "Yeah, why not? It might be fun". So we went through the process and ended up going to the party. It was held in what amounted to a mansion in a very ritzy part of town.

 

The problem, if you want to call it that, for us at least, was that most of the people at the party were what we later called "Barbie and Ken clones". The "pretty people". And unfortunately for us, we did not fit in, as neither of us were what one would think of when one thinks of "the pretty people". Other than my girlfriend getting her first ride on a Sybian machine, neither of us "played" with anyone that night.

 

To give an idea of how things went that night, at one point we were out back in the patio area, where a big hot tub was located. There were already four people in the tub, but it was big enough to easily accomodate us too, so we got in. Keep in mind that we had no interest in the other people in the tub at all. We just wanted to sit in the water for a few minutes, that was all. But as soon as we got in, these other people took one look at us, and then got out of the tub. I stood up for a moment to look around, and they were all sitting at some nearby tables, looking morosely in our general direction. We sat there for a few minutes, basically thinking "what the fuck?". We got out of the tub, dried off, gathered our things and left.

 

The moral to the story is that swinging is like any other social endeavor. It is divided up into subgroups. The group you are most likely to "fit in" with is determined by which "subgroup" you are part of, whether by age, body type, socioeconomic status and so forth. It took a while, but we did find our niche, so to speak, in a "40+" group. And in groups like this, we had the most all-around fun, never mind the best sex, of any of the groups we had attended.

 

Cave Bear

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My memories of our first time is a positive experience. A man who we just met made to love to me. He made me feel like a teenager it was a very special night. I love my husband and have no complaints about our sexual life but that night was unplanned and terrific. The couple we met and swapped with are great people. We enjoy being with them and looked forward to recreating the week we met.

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The problem, if you want to call it that, for us at least, was that most of the people at the party were what we later called "Barbie and Ken clones". The "pretty people". And unfortunately for us, we did not fit in, as neither of us were what one would think of when one thinks of "the pretty people". Other than my girlfriend getting her first ride on a Sybian machine, neither of us "played" with anyone that night.

 

To give an idea of how things went that night, at one point we were out back in the patio area, where a big hot tub was located. There were already four people in the tub, but it was big enough to easily accomodate us too, so we got in. Keep in mind that we had no interest in the other people in the tub at all. We just wanted to sit in the water for a few minutes, that was all. But as soon as we got in, these other people took one look at us, and then got out of the tub. I stood up for a moment to look around, and they were all sitting at some nearby tables, looking morosely in our general direction. We sat there for a few minutes, basically thinking "what the fuck?". We got out of the tub, dried off, gathered our things and left.

 

The moral to the story is that swinging is like any other social endeavor. It is divided up into subgroups. The group you are most likely to "fit in" with is determined by which "subgroup" you are part of, whether by age, body type, socioeconomic status and so forth. It took a while, but we did find our niche, so to speak, in a "40+" group. And in groups like this, we had the most all-around fun, never mind the best sex, of any of the groups we had attended.

 

Cave Bear

 

I think that it's interesting that you bring up the sub-group dynamic. We never feel we fit in with any sub-group and are always kinda breaking down walls and barriers. Mostly there is race element, but also an age and socio-economic element.

 

I also think maybe you were feeling a bit self - conscious at that party? I would guess everyone is at their first 'lifestyle' event, I know we both were.

 

Thanks for the share I found it fascinating.

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It is interesting to consider the "sub-group" dynamic. I suppose it does apply at times but generally speaking, less in socio economic and race, but more in age and body type. We have noticed at parties lately that the couples are all somewhat similar in age and body type. The parties are usually small so it seems like it is on purpose. I would imagine if there were a couple who didn't "fit that mold" it would make them self conscious.

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It is interesting to consider the "sub-group" dynamic. I suppose it does apply at times but generally speaking, less in socio economic and race, but more in age and body type. We have noticed at parties lately that the couples are all somewhat similar in age and body type. The parties are usually small so it seems like it is on purpose. I would imagine if there were a couple who didn't "fit that mold" it would make them self conscious.

 

Perhaps things are different in Florida, but here in the Houston area the scene is pretty much as we described. You are correct in that the biggest determinant is age and body type. We ended up gravitating to the "40+ BBW swinger" groups and clubs. And they were actually quite large in terms of numbers of members. And we had the most fun and good times in groups like this.

 

Ethnically, the groups were mostly white, with a fair number of Hispanics as well. There would often be some younger black men around, but mainly functioning as "stunt cocks" for some of the ladies. I could count on the fingers of one hand the number of black women I'd ever seen at a party or club, and Asians practically never.

 

The clubs and party groups were definitely divided up into different socioeconomic classes as well. You have the upper class/wealthy swingers, middle class swingers, and for lack of a better term, lower class swingers. We'd seen (and partied with) them all at one time or another.

 

The only other time we ever felt "self-conscious" at a swingers gathering was the one time we went to Wish's. Don't know if it is still open, but for many years Wish's was the premiere swingers club in Houston. Damn near everyone ended up going to Wish's, even if only once.

 

One thing about Wish's was it was rather pricey, even by swinger club standards. It cost upwards of $100 a couple to get in (reservations required, of course). And once you were seated, if you ordered even one drink, you had an automatic $50 bar tab you owed, per person.

 

Oh, and the seating. When we arrived either Wish or his wife (the owners of the club) would seat you. And you sat where they told you to sit. In our case, we were seated at the "Group W" table, which was a couple of cafeteria style tables butted together with some chairs around them, located near the rest rooms. The other tables in the club were of the usual small round nature with two to four chairs, of the sort you'd usually see in night clubs. And yes, if you were not part of the Barbie and Ken contingent, the Group W table is where you sat, period. (I know some of you get the "Group W" referent, for those of you who don't, look up "Alice's Restaurant").

 

At first we were indeed pretty self conscious sitting at Wish's Group W table, but after a while and a few drinks (I was going to be paying for all those fucking drinks whether I consumed them or not, so what the hell; she wasn't drinking and I'd let her drive us home) and some dancing, we had a decent time. Of course, we never went back after that one trip, but it was interesting just the same, and at least we could say "Yes, we've been to Wish's".

 

Cave Bear

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We are no longer new to the lifestyle. Our new lifestyle changed over a year ago on a cruise ship. We have remained friends with the couple we first took the plunge with. We have expanded our experiences with several other couples. I still enjoy a one on on e in different a room. Maybe it's a self consciousness. I have also allowed myself to be with another woman.

Our friends suggested going to Hedonism, My husband was for it. I am not ready for that, I don't think. Then we talked about a lifestyle cruise. I checked and Celebrity has them. Think it is Bliss who puts it together. I sead why can't we just go back on a cruiseand maybe stop in St Maartan, just like we did when we met. I hoped to recreate our first time and I do enjoy being with them. I joked about swapping partners for the whole cruise. We booked the cruise, us in a balcony room. Our friends got a suite, which is out of our budget. The talk was about finding other couples to join us. I wasn't thrilled but said sure. Our friends are on a forum for cruisers. Very G rated board. It's a board to share cruising ideas, meet couples who want to share excursions or taxis. I checked the board, there is no sex talk and one of the TOS is all posts are family friendly. My friend answered a request for sharing a ride to the beach we went to last time. I think they swapped emails. They were a newlywed couple from Alabama.

 

Not sure why people are writing that going back to the original scene is bad. You going to a place that has positive memories and with a couple you are friends with. Isn't that perfect? We too were hesitant to expand to other couples until our friends introduced us to people they know. I think your friends are doing you a favor and doing the leg work for you.

I am pretty surprised that you met someone they wrote to on that cruise board. We have used it in the past to "hook" up with couples for tours and taxis, nothing more. A bigger surprise is a newlywed couple. You never did write how that worked. We have found three couples can be a problem and unless the couple was into this before how did they go for it?

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