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Well I have read a themed thread of this heading a few time however I never had it told to me by my wife. After an evening with a new couple she told me that she had the best sex ever. I was a bit taken back but said do tell. She said she completely enjoyed the evening; went to places she has not been to before. The gentlemen she said was very sensitive, secure, and comfortably controlling. They started slow at first and began to feel great and enjoying each other. He took his time and brought her from a simmer to a raging boil. After awhile he became gently aggressive sensing her enjoyment and was wanting to bring it to another level. She said she resisted but wasn't sure she wanted to resist. She said he kind of sensed that and they continued on and he gently revisited his aggression sensing she was OK. He asked if she was good and she said oh yes!

Needless to say I felt weird and jealous. I told her that I was feeling really uncomfortable. She smiled and said "isn't that the goal when we agree to switch partners to enjoy the evening. Sometimes it's good and sometimes it's not and sometimes it's great. Tonight was surprisingly great sex. That is what we all hope for right"? She said it is likely we will never see them again, we both enjoyed the evening and now we can talk about it. She noted it was" like when you go to a great game and you win in overtime! "Nothing more than that". Then she said but really it is much better than that!

Has anyone gone here?

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Great post. It asks to look at the communication in a relationship. It's cool that your wife can have this amazing time and compare it to a great game, tongue in cheek.

If the person on the receiving end of this can hear it and be genuinely happy for them, it displays a great level of comfort.

 

I've tried to get my wife to openly discuss her feelings about a date, especially if it was obvious that she was having the sexual time of her life. Her reply to any questions about it are 'meh, it was fine'. I understand this. People are people and sometimes don't change. She had to grow up with a husband very insecure about the relationship and sex. Although she understands that I love to see her being pleasured, she is unsure how I would react to her gushing over the event. And I honestly have no idea how I would react. I did find myself feeling bad, putting myself in your place, listening to my wife tell me this. I'm sure I would be happy for her but I bet there would be some jealousy.

 

Thanks for sharing!

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Interesting mix of emotions at work in your reaction.

 

Do you think your wife mentioned the part about probably never seeing this couple again, in order to ease your feelings of jealousy, and reassure you that this guy is nothing for you to be concerned about?

 

My Mrs. has had some really hot play experiences with other guys. But she always comes home to me! The way I look at it, she chose me a long time ago, and she is not going to change her mind. After all, we are going on this sexual adventure together! Also, we make it our habit to always give each other a Full Report on our play times afterward, in part in order to reaffirm that we have nothing to hide from each other.

 

The Mrs. was at a party one time, and a guy was able to make her squirt like crazy- I'm talking, projectile squirting. Now, I can make her squirt, but not like that! More than anything, I wanted to know how that guy did that. I will be looking over his shoulder next time we see him at a party!

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We've known a couple for years and see them 2-3 times a year at parties or a club. Mrs Doc loves having sex with him, says he's probably the best swinging partner ever and he feels the same about her. His wife and I are good friends, she's quite attractive but sex with her is mediocre. Its not bad mind you, its just not up to the level Mrs Doc enjoys with him. Im happy for her when she gets her world rocked with this guy. There are so many variables that go into a satisfying swinging experience that its very rare when everybody has a plus/plus time. Using a baseball analogy, when we play with this couple, Mrs Doc hits a home run and I maybe single to center. We both score so it's high fives all around at the end of the game!

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As already said, be glad that your wife felt comfortable enough with you to tell you her feelings. Second, always remember that she still came home with you. She LOVES you, everything else was just sex (great or not). Third, ask her to tell you/show you/teach you how to do what the other guy did to her. Just like sports, you can never hope to improve unless you go out and play with other teams and find out your strengths and weaknesses and the work to become better. Most important is to remember is in sex, you don't keep score (only do your best to score) and everyone wins!

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Well I have read a themed thread of this heading a few time however I never had it told to me by my wife. After an evening with a new couple she told me that she had the best sex ever. ....

Needless to say I felt weird and jealous. I told her that I was feeling really uncomfortable. She smiled and said "isn't that the goal when we agree to switch partners to enjoy the evening. Sometimes it's good and sometimes it's not and sometimes it's great. Tonight was surprisingly great sex. That is what we all hope for right"? She said it is likely we will never see them again, we both enjoyed the evening and now we can talk about it. She noted it was" like when you go to a great game and you win in overtime! "Nothing more than that". Then she said but really it is much better than that!

Has anyone gone here?

 

Yes, that swinging:

sometimes it's good,

sometimes it's not,

sometimes it's great,

sometimes it doesn't happen at all.

 

is so true. Accepting and understanding this is paramount. Just being on the team even if you don't play during that game, is still better than being a spectator in the stands. Just like our signature, we've not had sex at some parties to help others to have a good sexy time.

 

I think that I mentioned this before but "real racers race, all others are spectators."

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I really would have loved to hear something like that from my wife after one of our experiences. Even though, several of the times, I could tell she was really enjoying herself, she never admitted it later.

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I think to swing you really need to let go the idea of the 'other' partner being better than me. I will also readily admit in my own experience it can be really hard to do. I have to admit that I am not '100%' to everybody and that my partner (my wife) should have a great time just like I did with her partners.

 

I am not going to lie hearing, or seeing her reaction can be a little overwhelming. I just try hard to let go and take pleasure in her passion.

 

Does that make sense?

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I think to swing you really need to let go the idea of the 'other' partner being better than me. I will also readily admit in my own experience it can be really hard to do. I have to admit that I am not '100%' to everybody and that my partner (my wife) should have a great time just like I did with her partners.

 

I am not going to lie hearing, or seeing her reaction can be a little overwhelming. I just try hard to let go and take pleasure in her passion.

 

Does that make sense?

Kikonkrome,

Absolutely makes sense to me also that the best gift you can give your partner is acceptance of her(/his) pleasure by another person.

 

If my wife wanted to skydive, or enter quilting contests, or drive a rally race car, or enter bbq cookoff contests, but I didn't, I would still take pleasure that she was happy pursuing her desires and celebrate her accomplishments. To me, physical sexual pleasure is no different. Probably the closest comparison in the vanilla world are husbands who are accepting of their wives being surrogate mothers ( without consideration for any money possibly involved.)

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For me the wife having great sex is all part of the experience. I want great sex she should have it too. The sex doesn't change our feelings for one another.

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Thanks for all these great responses. To some extent I have reached a conclusion that sex within the lifestyle is the key. When we share sex within the lifestyle that is what it is SEX. The idea is to enjoy that sex and go to any level that all are comfortable with. The sexual experience shouldn't migrate out of the relationship. The feelings that are generated should be enjoyed, for the moment. That is what my wife felt, a great time from an adventurous experience we both agreed to enter and she had the confidence and trust in our relationship to share her feeling about the level of pleasure she reached with someone else. Had the same discussion occurred and she described an affair I would not be forgiving. So keeping it in the lifestyle perspective and honestly caring about each other can lead to great fulfilling experiences.

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